


Ever Granger and Sinclair Potter

by NoapologiesNoexcusesNoregrets



Series: Everlyna [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Crack, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Crack, Funny, Gen, Hilarious, LGBTQ Themes, M/M, Multi, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-22
Updated: 2016-11-29
Packaged: 2018-04-16 16:40:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 23
Words: 105,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4632522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoapologiesNoexcusesNoregrets/pseuds/NoapologiesNoexcusesNoregrets
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Come along for a wild ride of insanity with Ever and Sinclair as they battle through a world of magic and mystery, and of course the utter madness that comes along with both of those things. </p><p>They are weird. </p><p>They are mental. </p><p>Ever and Sinclair try to survive in a world that seems hell bent on destroying them and their twins. (Which is just completely uncalled for.)</p><p>Will they ever figure out what the hell house points are?</p><p>Will they ever pull off their capes as well as Dumblebumble and the ADM?</p><p>Can they defeat Lady Voldepop? </p><p>Can they save the wizarding world with the power of their united snark? And magic. But mostly snark.</p><p>Only two things are certain, Owls are evil and Unicorns are epic!</p><p>Read this story.....if you think you're mad enough.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The really weird rock: One

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! This is my new story for insanity and hilarity lovers. I should point out that one of my main characters 'Ever' is also in two other stories of mine. A lot of people love her, and I hope all of you will too!
> 
> This fic will be pure crack. I will throw in some angsty moments, because that's just how I roll, but mainly I'm writing this for the funny.
> 
> Some warnings:
> 
> There will be het and slash pairings later on in this fic, just so you all know. A lot of bad language too. Graphic situations later on in the story as well, but I'll warn you about those more specifically when the time comes.
> 
> Also, for the sake of argument, lets say that this story starts from 2015 onwards, because I'll be making some references that I wouldn't be able to make if the story was set when the originals were.
> 
> But anyways, please give this story a chance, that's all I'm asking. My aim is to make your bad days a little happier and your good days even better by giving you a shot of fun-loving insanity. Please let me know if I ever succeed.

** Sinclair's P.O.V **

I don't think I want to be a wizard.

There, I said it, let the earth open up beneath me and swallow my tiny body whole. I can take it. Like a Boss.

See, the thing is, I only just got used to the fact that I would be stuck living under my aunt and uncle's staircase for the next seven bazillion years. Minus the bazillion. I had a plan though. I'd wait it out until I was eighteen, and then make a break for it to University. I would go somewhere far, far away from Uncle Vernon/The Angry hippo and Dudley Mc eats a lot of cake, or Sir Cakealot, as I call him. Inside my head that is. Aunt Petunia would never allow me to disrespect her only living spawn that way. I'd end up locked away inside the cupboard # _my bedroom_ , for a bloody year.

"Sinclair, hurry up!"

Did I mention that I have to share my tiny cupboard bedroom with a less fabulous version of me? No? Yeah, well, his name is Harry, but don't get too excited, he's really annoying.

"I don't want to miss the train just because you walk like a mentally ill snail," Harry says with a frown.

I huff at him and reply,

"I am not running. I spent forever sorting out my hair this morning, and unlike some people," I look at Harry's scruffy birds nest hair pointedly, "I don't want to look homeless."

Harry rolls his green eyes at me and says,

"Whatever, Sinclair, just  _come on_!" And then after a few more paces he turns to me and adds, "I do not look homeless."

I shrug at my twin,

"I never said you did, stop projecting."

"I am not projecting!"

"Do you even know what projecting means?"

"Um...no."

"Then how can you possibly know if you're doing it or not?"

"Shut up, Sinclair," Harry glares at me before picking up his pace and leaving me behind.

I sigh heavily and look over at the most evil creature ever in all of existence, otherwise known as my new Owl. She stares at me with violent intent. I couldn't decide what to name her, Hitler or Lucifer or Bert, so I've named her Voldebert. Bert is a boy who bullied me in school. And Voldemort is the dick who killed my parents. I think the combination is solid. Harry threw a fit about it, and so did Hagrid, but I don't care. It's  _my_ evil owl, I can name her whatever the hell I want. Plus, it was Hagrid who made me get her in the first place. I wanted a cat. I went back and bought the cat later. I've named him Bubbles.

Bubbles is in a cat carrier next to Voldebert. I've seen them eyeing each other quite a few times, and I hope that Bubbles will rise victorious if they ever have a throw down. Volebert chirps at me and I point at her,

"You stay out of it Voldebert, your opinion is invalid to me."

My evil owl just blinks at me, pretending to be completely innocent and stuff. It's a lie. All of it. God damn owl tried to murder me, and I'm not falling for her owly wiles. Harry says it was an accident, but he's become untrustworthy ever since he fell in love with his owl Hedwog, or Bedwig, something like that anyway. That vile snowy temptress has my brother falling fast and hard, but I shall not be fooled.

I catch up to Harry eventually, and when I realise he's looking pretty confuzzled, I ask,

"What is it?"

"There's no platform nine and three quarters," Harry says.

I look around us for a few seconds and see that he's right.

"Better ask someone then," I suggest.

Harry nods in agreement and we both wander over to a tubby man who looks like he works here. Harry taps his arm, and tubby glances down at us,

"What is it boy?" tubby asks. I wince a little. The Angry Hippo calls us 'boy', and we don't have many pleasant experiences associated with the word.

"Could you tell us where platform nine and three quarters is?" Harry says.

"Please," I add, because being polite costs nothing.

Tubby gives us an irate look,

"Right, look here boys, I don't need any trouble, now go off and find your parents."

I shift slightly in irritation.

"We would, but that'd be kind of awkward since they're dead," I say conversationally.

"Sinclair!" Harry yelps.

I ignore my twin and ask tubby,

"So, do you know where platform nine and three quarters is or not?"

"There's no such place, boy, now stop messing about, I'm very busy."

Yes, I can see that, what with all your standing around and doing nothing. Must be quite tiring.

"You are very unhelpful," I say, and I turn to walk away, but Harry stops me with a hand on my arm.

"Sinclair," Harry says, and he gestures at tubby.

I look tubby over once more and nod,

"Right Harry, sorry," I glance back up at tubby, "You also have terrible shoes. I think you should burn them."

Harry lets go of my arm and facepalms. My twin says "sorry" to tubby, and then ushers me away.

"Why do you always have to be so weird?" Harry mutters.

"Why do you always have to be so boring?" I ask sweetly.

"I am not boring, Sinclair," Harry crosses his arms and shakes his head, "I just worry that one day you'll say the wrong thing to the wrong person and get hurt."

Then he gives me his genuine caring brother look and I deflate a little.

"I'm sorry, ok, I'm just on edge." I puff out a frustrated breathe, causing my jet black fringe to blow away from my forehead.

Harry and I are identical in almost every way. My eyes are a slightly paler green I think, and I might be an inch or two taller. And of course I don't wear glasses. But for the most part, we look exactly alike. We even have the same lightening bolt scar. Sort of. The scar on my forehead slants to the left, whereas Harry's slants to the right. For a long time we didn't really know where our scars came from. But now we do. I kind of wish I could go back to not knowing if I'm being honest. I mean, now every time I see my scar I'm gonna think about how I got it, and those thoughts lead to depressing places. Maybe I should invest in a headband? Or a crown. I'd look pretty wicked in a crown. No matter what Harry says, I could totally pull that look off.

I'm yanked out of my own head when Harry punches my arm, the violent sod.

"Ow, what was that for?" I rub my arm where my brother just brutally attacked me for no reason.

Harry rolls his eyes at me,

"I barely even touched you-now look, that boy just ran through a wall. I heard his family talking about muggles. Maybe they can help us."

Nah, probably not.

I shrug,

"Ok, fine, lets go ask."

I notice the other set of older twins first, right before one of them disappears into the wall. Nice. The other one catches sight of us and winks at me, before disappearing through the wall after his brother. I'm glad we don't have to deal with that yet. Another couple of twins I mean. Twins we've met in the past have always been so different to Harry and me. We aren't your average set of twins.

Have you ever had someone in your life who is both your worst enemy and your closest ally? Or someone you hate a lot of time for being a pain the arse, but at the same time you love them more than anyone else in the world. Yeah, that's how Harry and I are, and it's not something most people understand. If you aren't a twin, you can't know what it feels like. There is a bond between us, as stupid and cheesy as that sounds, that I don't think would exist if we were just ordinary brothers.

"Excuse me," Harry says to a plump red haired woman.

"Hello dear," she says, and her voice is strangely warm, "First time at Hogwarts? It's Ron's first time too." She gestures at her youngest son. He's tall, gangly and awkward looking. I immediately think we won't get on very well. I tend to make other boys uncomfortable. Harry will probably like him though. One thing I really do worry about is making friends. I'm not sure how to. What if everyone thinks I'm weird? They did at my old school. Then again, they all thought Harry was weird too, but privately I think that was partly my fault as well.

"Yeah," Harry says, "But, see, the thing is, we don't know how to-"

"Walk through walls," I supply when Harry begins to trail off.

The woman smiles at me, and I nervously fiddle with my sleeve. I don't have the best track record with adults. Not even the seemingly nice ones.

"Not to worry," she says, "All you have to do is walk straight at the barrier between platforms nine and ten. Don't stop and don't be scared you'll crash into it, that's very important. Best do it at a bit of a run if you're nervous. Go on, go now before Ron."

Nervous? About walking through a wall? Nope, never. I do it all the time. Casper and I are bestest fwends

"Uh-okay," Harry stammers.

I roll my shoulders back and say,

"Thanks for your help," to the woman.

Harry wavers for a while, staring at the wall like it holds all the secrets to the universe.

"Want me to go first?" I ask him quietly.

Harry shakes his head,

"No, I'll make sure it's safe, then you come after."

I almost argue, but, why bother? Harry is the most stubborn person I've ever known. Trying to change his mind about something is like trying to push a pencil through a rock.

"Well, go on then bossy pants, show us how it's done," I say, nudging him a little.

Harry spares one glare in my direction, and then he takes the wall at a run. When he passes through as seamlessly as the others. I take a deep breathe and run right after him.

I gasp when I pass through the wall and come out on the other side onto a hidden platform. There's a massive black train waiting to depart. A sign overhead confirms that it is the Hogwarts express. I immediately rename the train Carl. Just because. I feel both jubilant that I didn't bash my brains out against a wall, and instantly nervous because...well, it's really happening. I was half hoping this was all a bad joke, but no, it's real. I'm a wizard. Harry is a wizard. With actual magic. God help us all.

I've lost Harry in the crowd, and I go in search of him. I bump into a round faced boy who's frantically searching for something. He mumbles at me,

"Sorry..sorry,"

"No worries," I tell him, but he looks so distraught that I ask, "What's wrong?"

The boy looks up at me and grimaces,

"I lost my toad."

"Oh," Because what else is there to say but 'oh' when another boy tells you he lost his toad? I'm sorry for your loss? Go toad freedom? "I'll help you look for him if you like."

The boy's eyes widen in surprise,

"Really?"

"Um, sure...but I don't have much toad hunting experience, so I don't know how helpful I'll be."

The boy laughs nervously and says,

"Hi, I'm Neville."

I smile back at him,

"My name's Sinclair, but you can call me Sin."

"Cool name," he says, and then blushes furiously.

I chuckle under my breathe,

"That's not the reaction I usually get, but thank you."

Neville beams back at me, and I begin to wonder if making friends could really be this easy. We go off in search of Neville's toad, but first he helps me put all of my stuff into the compartment he's already claimed.

I keep a look out for Harry as Neville and I try to find his lost toad. It's a lot harder than it sounds. Toads are sneaky little shits, apparently. According to Neville anyway.

I accidentally crash into one of those older twin's with red hair from before. I actually trip over the train's carpet and go flying into him. We both fall to the floor. Or actually he falls, I just land on him.

Great. My clumsy nature has decided to rear it's ugly head.

"Hey, woah there little firstie," the red haired boy says.

I try to scramble off of him, but because the train is so narrow, it's pretty difficult. The older boy halts my frantic wiggling by half sitting up and then practically lifting me as he stands. When we're both standing on our own to feet again, I look up at him and say,

"I'm sorry about that. My feet are against me, they plot my downfall at every turn."

The boy laughs and shrugs,

"Might wanna try sitting down then. You know, put yourself out of harms way so your feet have no power."

I find myself smiling, even though I'm also very embarrassed. "Who are you?" I ask, and only afterwards do I realise that there was really no finesse to my question. I try to hide the wince.

But the other boy just smiles, a little manically, and says,

"My name's Fred. Fred Weasley. How about you?"

I rub a hand through my hair, a nervous gesture I've never been able to control. Too late do I realise what I've just revealed.

Fred's eyes widen in shock,

"Wow, are you...I mean...really?"

I shrug self-consciously and force a grin,

"Oh yeah, I'm Sinclair Potter." Otherwise known to the wizarding world as 'The boy who survived'. Harry is apparently 'The boy who lived'. I don't know why he got the better hero name. I feel cheated. Together we are known as 'The saviour twins'.

Yeah, it's as stupid as it sounds. Trust me.

"Blimey," Fred says in awe of my scar, "That's so wicked."

Is it? I'm not sure if the wizarding world have the same definition of 'wicked' as I do.

Basically,

Dancing penguins=Wicked

Dead parents=Sad

It might be weird, but that's how I see it.

"To be honest it's really Harry who deserves all the credit," I say to Fred, "He's the one who...zapped him."

Obviously neither of us did any such thing, but I'd rather let Harry be the famous twin. I'll just be the one who searches for toads and trips over rugs. Yeah, that sounds about right.

Fred opens his mouth to say something, but his brother comes up behind him and at the same time they say to each other,

"You'll never guess who I've just seen,"

"Who?" they both say again in unison.

"Him," Fred gestures at me, at the same time his twin says,

"Harry Potter!"

"This is Sinclair Potter," Fred says, laughter in his voice.

The other twin gets a good look at me then, and his face splits into a grin,

"Ah, I've just seen your brother. I'm George by the way."

I raise a hand and wave. Because I'm super special like that. At least now I know Harry is actually on the train.

I see Neville over the twin's shoulders suddenly and remember what I'm meant to be doing.

"Oh, uh, I've gotta go," I say to the Weasley's, "I have toad issues to resolve."

"Righto," Fred says, but I'm already moving past them and down the train towards Neville.

When Neville see's me he smiles, and I smile back.

"You found him yet?" I ask.

Neville's face falls,

"No...maybe I won't ever find him! My gran'll be so angry with me."

"Nah, we'll definitely find your master escapist toad," I say reassuringly, "We might need more recruits though."

We continue searching for a while, and I make it my mission in life from this moment on to find Neville's god damned toad if it kills me. It genuinely might considering how many times I almost trip. Obviously Carl has decided he hates me and my face, and wants to punish me for daring to breathe or walk within him. Maybe I should have asked first.

Other children stare at me in a mixture of awe and nervous excitement. I figure that means the cat is out of bag about who I am. Unless I give off a weirdo smell of some kind. I can't decide if that would be cool for not.

I manage to bump into  ** _another_**  person, against all odds. This boy looks about my age with the palest blond hair I've ever seen and almost as pale blue eyes. He glares at me once we right ourselves and snaps,

"Watch where you're going," then he looks up at me properly and recognition flickers in his eyes, "Potter? Got bored of Weasley already?"

For a moment I think he's talking about Fred, but then my intelligence decides to make a stand and I realise it's far more likely that he thinks I'm my brother.

"Nope, sorry, you've got the wrong twin. I'm Sinclair."

The anger in the pale boy's eyes dampens somewhat, and he looks me over for a moment before saying,

"Oh, right, I see it now."

Yeah, ok, what does that mean? Should I be offended? I'm already offended that he thought I was Harry. I would never allow myself to look as messy as my brother. Just because we're orphans doesn't mean we need to look like extra's from the musical Oliver.

"See what?" I ask suspiciously.

"You're different to your brother," the boy answers with a shrug.

"Different? In what way?"

The boy's eyes darken slightly,

"Well, for one, you don't seem like an arrogant prat."

I fight the urge to laugh,

"What did my brother do to you?"

"He'd rather be friends with a poor, scrubby, Weasley than me," mutters the boy.

Ah, right.

"Who are you exactly?"

The boy rolls his shoulders back and says proudly,

"Draco Malfoy."

Good, good, someone with a weird name, now I feel better.

"And did you...happen to say anything...bad about 'Weasley', to my brother?"

Draco shrugs one shoulder,

"Only that he's the wrong sort to be spending time with."

Another gasp of laughter threatens, but I manage to curb it just in time. I don't think Draco would appreciate me laughing at him.

"I can see why my brother would be upset by that. Are you one of those wizards who doesn't like muggles by any chance?"

Draco makes a face,

"They are beneath us."

I wave a hand,

"Nah, they're ok. Don't be so judgy, they have cool stuff, like airplanes and Mcdonalds and Ipods," and before Draco can respond, and from the way he's looking so scandalised I think it would be something insulting, I ask, "Have you seen a toad anywhere?"

Draco is momentarily stunned, but he answers after a silent moment,

"Um...no."

Oh, well that's disappointing.

"Want to help me find one?" I smile at him.

Draco gives me another strange look and says,

"No, why would I do that?"

I shrug,

"I dunno, why would anyone do anything?"

"You don't make sense," Draco says, sounding confused.

"I like your hair," I say to Draco, because I do.

"Oh, ah, thank you?"

"Now this is the part where you say something nice back to me," I tell him. Clearly he needs help at this whole making friends thing too.

Draco pulls that stunned face again and then says slowly, as if unsure why he's saying anything at all,

"I like your...eyes."

"My eyes? Why?" That wasn't what I thought he'd say, but ok, I can get on board with it.

Draco appears to be blushing now, and almost defensively he says,

"Why do you like my hair?"

Fair enough, tit for tat.

"It's shiny and blond, I think that's lovely." I've always liked blond hair, and I sometimes wish I had it rather than this weird coal black thing I've got going on."Your turn," I add.

Draco seems to be blushing even more now, and I have no idea why. Has he never been complimented before or something?

"Your eyes are...um...pretty."

_Pretty_? Hm, that's definitely a first.

"Well thank you," I smile a bit wider at him, "I'm gonna go look for a toad now...come on."

Draco arches an eyebrow,

"What?"

"We're friends now, so you have to help me find the toad," I explain.

"We're friends?" Draco asks, his eyes are wide and his voice has a gone a bit shrill.

"Of course, we just did the whole compliment each other thing. We'll be even better friends if you help me find the toad."

Draco frowns at me,

"What is it with you and this toad? Is it yours?"

I look at him seriously and say,

"No, of course not. I have a cat."

"You have a cat," Draco repeats dazedly.

"His name is Bubbles," I flash Draco a quick grin.

"So, in conclusion," Draco says, "You have a cat named Bubbles, you're searching for a toad that isn't yours, your brother is a prat, you like my hair and apparently we're now friends. Did I get everything?"

I sort through his words and then reply,

"Yep, I think that's about it, although the fact that my brother is sometimes a prat doesn't supersede the fact that he is in fact my brother. If we're going to be friends then you need to not insult him, because then out of family loyalty I'll have to defend him, and to be honest I'm far too tired for that right now ."

There's a long pause where Draco scrutinises me closely. Finally he seems to reach some kind of decision and says,

"Ok. No more insulting Potter, and I'll help you find the toad that isn't yours."

I hold my hand out,

"Deal?"

Draco takes my hand with a smile and we shake once,

"Deal."

Score one for making friends!

**Ever's P.O.V**

"Would you stop messing around with that blasted bat!" My twin all but yells in my ear.

I turn to her with a small smirk and reply,

"I'm sorry, what was that? I didn't hear you because you were screaming so  _quietly_."

Hermione rolls her eyes and sniffs haughtily at me, like she thinks I'm a complete idiot. Actually, strike that, my twin really does think I'm an idiot, there's no 'like' about it.

"You're an idiot." Hermione snips at me.

Ha ha! Confirmed!

I salute my sister sarcastically and turn back to my sidekick pet bat, Kevin. Hermione thinks I'm mad for buying a bat instead of an owl. I believe I made the right choice. Owls are clearly evil. I lean in close to him and mock whisper,

"Don't listen to her Kevin, you are mighty and majestic. She's just jealous because she could never hope to compete with your amazingnosity."

I say the last part just to annoy my twin. She really hates it when I make up words.

Wait for it...

"That's not even a real word Ever!" Hermione says in that irritatingly self-righteous tone of hers.

Ding ding ding!

"What word?" I ask innocently.

Hermione glares openly at me,

"You know what word!"

"I have no idea of what word you speak," I reply with a shrug.

Hermione growls at me angrily,

"You know perfectly well that I mean 'amazingnosity'."

"Oh! That one." I say, nodding along with her.

"Yes, that one," Hermione grits out through clenched teeth.

"What about it?" I ask casually.

"It's not a real word," Hermione says.

"What's not a real word?" I peer at her innocently.

"Ever!"

"What?"

"Amazingnosity is NOT a word."

"Says who?"

"Me," Hermone crosses her arms, "And the dictionary."

I shake my head in despair at her,

"Who made you Queen of words?"

"Now you're just being silly," Hermione says.

"Yeah, well, so's your face," I fire back gleefully.

My wicked bat Kevin makes a weird chirping noise, and he sounds a bit like a robin crossed with a whistle. I like to think he's agreeing with me.

"Shut up Ever, stop being ridiculous," Hermione has her pissy face on now. Good, good, all is right in the world.

"Ok, fine, no need to be a meany bo beany about it, dorko." I say with a flick of my hand.

"I am not a dork!" Hermione snaps in an indignant tone.

Alright, now, I love my twin, but yeah, she is a major dorkzilla. Which is fine, of course, there's nothing bad about being clever, but she finds it so offensive for some reason. If she didn't react so strongly I probably wouldn't call her that.

"Yeah whatever, how about you go tell that to your best friend, the dictionary," I say.

"Ever-!"

"That's it, you two, no more fighting. You're giving me a bloody headache," our mum says in annoyance.

It's a tone we're used to hearing from her by now. Then again, she only has three tones of voice: Annoyed, angry and slurred, which is actually kind of a combination of the first two actually. Mum's taken to drinking her problems away ever since Dad left about six years ago.

We live in a shabby two bedroom flat in Bristol. Our next door neighbour, Ms. Sock, looks after us most of the time. Or at least when mum isn't either drunk or out with one of her 'male friends'.

So, yeah, we won't be winning any happy family prizes this year. Or ever.

But then, it could be worse. Ms. Sock says that life is a constant maze of uncertainty, so all we can do is listen to our heads and our hearts and hope that they lead us in the right direction.

Of course, Ms. Sock also says that one day Bigfoot will be president and that chocolate heals every illness in existence. She's a wonderful woman and I do love her to pieces, but she is completely bonkers. In the best way possible though.

"But  _mum_ ," Hermione starts in an outraged tone, "Ever's being stupid on  _purpose_."

Hmm, can you ever be stupid 'not' on purpose? Well yeah, I guess if you ask stupid questions when you're a child. You know, like 'why is the sky blue?' or 'where do babies come from?'.

I know the answer to both those questions, and to be honest, in regards to the latter, I wish I didn't. I was much happier when I thought babies got delivered to their parents by storks, like in Dumbo. Although I suppose it's ridiculous to put stock in a film that's about an elephant who can fly. With his ears. I still love that film. I watch it with Ms. Sock whilst we eat the brownies we just baked. Sometimes I put smarties and skittles into the brownie mix when I make mine.

Hermione makes her own perfectly shaped batch that come out looking exactly like they did in the recipe book. Mine always come out looking like rainbow mud pies.

I don't think I've ever done anything perfectly in my entire life. My sister and I couldn't be any more different if we tried.

People tend to assume that just because we're twins that means we like the same things and behave the same way. Nothing could be farther from the truth when it comes to Hermione and I.

"I don't care," mum snaps at us, and that sentence alone is pretty much the theme for her whole parenting technique. "Just behave yourselves," she adds, whilst taking out a cigarette.

Hermione glares at me mutinously and I poke my tongue out right back at her. That'll teach her for snitching.

See, the thing is, a few months ago our lives seemed dreary and breakable at best. But now I'm thinking that maybe things are looking up. Mostly because early on our birthday Hermione and I received two letters. Those two letters changed everything.

So, it's like this, basically, we're witches. Like, for real, magical witches. Who can do magicy things. With wands. No, I'm serious, I know it sounds mad, but it's true.

Now my sister and I are off to a place called Hogwarts, which is apparently a boarding school for magical children. If nothing else it's a chance to get away from our broken home life.

Visiting Diagon Alley had definitely been an experience within itself. I really think robes are going to be hard to get used to. And the sooner I get a pointy top hat the better. I also want a cape. But I'm not sure if that's part of magical culture or not.

Ehhh, I've already got a bat, why not take the weirdness thing to the next level.

Mum lights up her cigarette and gives both Hermione and I a smoky kiss on the cheek. Her dark lipstick feels wet and sticky on my skin. I do love my mum, but sometimes I just wish...well, I wish for a lot of things. That doesn't mean I should waste time whining though.

She doesn't wait around to see us off on the train. It took every bit of effort we had to get her to walk through that damn wall in the first place. Hermione and I rush to shove our things onto the train. There's only one compartment that looks at least semi empty, so I got for that one. Hermione just sniffs at me and purposely stalks off to the other side of the train.

Because that's not 'ridiculous' at all.

I'm struggling to get my trunk onto the train when suddenly someone grabs it from the other end and helps me shift it inside. I climb in after my trunk, holding Kevin's cage.

I kick the door shut behind me and look up at the person who helped me. He's quite slim, with strong facial features and the greenest eyes I've ever seen, they're insanely vivid. His hair is messily styled and night sky black. He smiles openly at me, and I find myself smiling back on instinct.

"Thanks," I say to him.

The boy catches sight of Kevin and his smile almost blinds me,

"You have a bat, that's so amazing!"

I beam back at him,

"His name is Kevin."

The boy looks Kevin over and then nods,

"Yeah, he looks like a Kevin."

"Kevin is my official sidekick in all things," I tell him.

"I should hope so, what kind of girl would you be if you didn't have a sidekick bat."

"I know, right. Do you have one?" I ask.

The boy shakes his head,

"Nah, I've got a cat though. He's grey and looks like a giant piece of fluff. His name is Bubbles," the boy makes a face then, "I also have an owl, her name is Voldebert."

I gasp,

"But owls are evilness!"

"Well,  _yeah_ , Volebert tried to kill me!"

"That  _bitch_ ," I say, shocked. I knew I was right about owls. Hermione called me crazy, but what does she know. Oh, right, everything apparently.

"Oh crap, there are two of them," another boy says.

Only then do I realise that there are other people in the compartment. The boy who spoke is pale with sharp features. He's looking between me and the green eyed boy like we're both insane.

For a moment I think he means Hermione and I say,

"You've met my twin?"

"You have a twin?" the green eyed boy asks.

"Uh yeah. Well, she's more like my pet dorkzilla, but you know."

"I have a twin too, but I like to think of him as more of an unfortunate mishap that was sent by the universe to test me ," green eyes says.

The pale boy looks between us again slowly and says,

"How is this even possible?"

"What's happening?" says a round faced boy who is the only other person in here. I think.

"My name's Ever Granger," I say to green eyes.

"Sinclair Potter, but you can call me Sin," he replies.

Woah, is this like, ** _the_**  Sinclair Potter? Thanks to Hermione I know pretty much everything about him. Or at least I know what happened to his parents, and I know about Voldemort. I wonder for a moment about how awful it must be to have loads of people know about something so personal.

"Are you Sinclair Potter, like, the famous one?"

Sin's smile falters, and I immediately regret saying anything about it.

"Um, yeah, I am. My twin nuisance Harry is the other 'famous one'."

I decide not to push any more about that.

"How come your parents named your brother something so ordinary like 'Harry' and you something so different like 'Sinclair'?" It's something I've wanted to know ever since Hermione started yammering on about them.

Sin actually laughs at that and says,

"I like to think that when we were born they recognised my obvious superiority and fabulousness, and my brother's apparent blandness, and decided to name us accordingly."

"Makes sense," I say, "How about Voldebert?"

"Voldemort was a dick," Sin says plainly, like it's something he's come to accept against his will.

"Very true," I agree readily. I notice that both of the other boys wince at the use of Voldemort's name.

"My owl is evil," Sin goes on, "Therefore it just made sense to name her after Voldemort."

"And Bert?"

"He's another dick I know too."

"A solid combination then," I say.

"I thought so," Sin replies.

"What  _are_  you people?" The pale boy asks, sounding very disturbed.

"Oh right, sorry," Sin says suddenly, he gestures at the round faced boy, "This is Neville Longbottom," then he looks over at the pale boy, "and he's Draco Malfoy. They're Pureblood's," Sin explains, as if he's apologising for something that hasn't happened yet.

"My parents were muggles," I smile a little and rock back on my heels.

"You're a  _muggle-born_ ," Draco says, slight disgust tinging his tone.

" _Draco_ ," Sin snaps sharply, "new friendship rule, no being mean about muggle-borns."

"You can't just make up new rules!" Draco argues, and he crosses his arms in annoyance.

"Can so, just did. Like it or leave, your choice."

"I found the toad, didn't I," Draco says petulantly.

"Yes, you did, but that doesn't give you immunity for the rest of your life," Sin says with an exasperated sigh. I feel like this is an argument they've already had before about something else.

I interrupt before Draco can reply,

"By the way, I'm not a muggle-birthed thingy or whatever, I'm actually a Unicorn...so...yeah."

"See, there you go," Sin says happily, "She's not a muggle-born, she's a Unicorn, so there's nothing to be silly about."

Draco rolls his eyes dramatically, and then throws his hands up,

"Fine! I'll be nice to...Dever."

"Good," Sin flops down onto the train bench.

I point at Draco,

"Watch yourself, Zaco, Kevin could kick your arse. Don't make me set him on you."

Draco narrows his eyes at me, and Sin huffs out a laugh. Kevin makes that threatening monster bat noise, as if helping me make my point. What I assume is Voldebert hoots back at Kevin. Voldebert has black feathers. Her eyes are like Damien's from The Omen. Sin is right, Voldebert is evilness to the extreme. I fear for all our lives.

"Now, what about this toad?" I ask after a moment of intense silence.

"Oh," Sin says delightedly, "Neville lost his toad and me and Draco helped him find it."

"I found him," Draco says proudly, "He was in the toilet."

"Show her Neville," Sin encourages, smiling kindly at the other boy.

I sit forward eagerly as Neville gives me a brief grin before rooting around trying to find his once lost toad. After about a minute of searching, Neville gets this panicked look of dread on his face and he says,

"He's gone."

" _Again_?" Sin asks.

When Neville nods I stand up and say,

"Well, come on then, we better go search for him."

Sin jumps up too,

"Yay, another toad hunt, I'm getting pretty good at them."

"How many have you done?" I ask him with a smirk.

Sin shrugs,

"Only the one."

"Then how can you know you're good a them?"

"We found the toad, didn't we. That's a 100% success rating right there."

I jerk my thumb at Sin and look at Neville,

"Hero boy's got a point."

Draco groans and covers his face with his hands,

"Do we  _have_  to?"

"Yes!" Sin and I announce at the same time.

" _We're goin' on a toad hunt_ ," I sing loudly.

Sin catches on and sings,

" _We're going to catch a big one_ ,"

"They're mad as a box of frogs," Draco says, but he stands up anyway, apparently willing to help.

Neville thanks us all about three billion times and we all trope out to go in search of the infamous missing toad.


	2. The really weird rock: Two

**Ever's P.O.V**

"C'mon, follow me - any more firs' years? Mind yer step, now! Firs' years follow me!" A big man who is, according to Sin, named Hagrid shouts.

"Come on then, Ever, you heard the giant beard, lets go," Sin says, and he offers a hand to help me off the train.

"Where's your brother?" I ask him as I look around for my own twin.

Sin shrugs and makes a face,

"Probably off making friends with the 'wrong sort', ain't that right Draco."

Draco gives Sin a cold look and huffs,

"Shut up, you annoying prat."

Sin laughs and replies,

"Oh, Drake, I said I'm sorry. I didn't mean to throw that chocolate frog at your face, it just surprised me when it moved."

Yeah, it surprised the crap out of me too. I mean, a chocolate frog that moves, who came up with that? I don't want my chocolate to be animated, I want it to be still and dead and easily accessible. When Sin yelped and lobed the chocolate frog at Draco, the other boy had a massive spaz attacked fell to the floor, his robes tossed over his head.

By the way, robes are weird. It feels like I'm wearing a legion of fat dresses.

"Personally I think your hair looks better all messy and stuff," I say honestly to Draco. Messy suits him better than slicked back, makes him look less like a stuffy arsehole too. But I won't say that part out loud.

Even though Draco is an arrogant little rich boy, and trust me when I say he plays the part very well, I will say that he's definitely grown on me during our train ride. If he can get over his dislike of my kind, we could get on rather well I think.

Draco looks at me suspiciously as if suspecting me of making fun of him. I just smile back. Hopefully he'll get the message soon that my mission in life is not to destroy him. As tempting a thought as that might be.

"You're almost as weird as he is," Draco says to me and gestures at Sin.

"That's not a very nice way to speak to a friend," Sin says, "Ever seems very lovely. Mad, but lovely."

I really like Sin, he's so kind, and funny too. He made me laugh so hard when he started talking in what he called his 'toad voice' to try and lure Trevor, Neville's toad, out of hiding.

Draco stares at us both in horror,

"I am not friends with Dever!"

"Yeah, you kinda are," I say, mostly to amuse myself, "We hunted a toad together, Zaco, that makes us best mates for life I'm afraid."

Draco crosses his arms defiantly,

"I will not be friends with a muggle-born."

I sidle up to Draco and sling my arm around his shoulder. I'm surprised when he doesn't pull away. Maybe there is hope for the little freak after all.

"One, we've been through this, I'm not a muggle-birthed whatever, I'm a unicorn. Two, we are friends now, so get over it. Third, what shampoo do you use, it smells great?"

"Stop sniffing me!" Draco snips, "If we're going to be...friends, then no sniffing. Friends don't sniff each other."

I turn to Sin in mock surprise and say,

"They don't? Since when?"

Sin shrugs and shakes his head,

"I dunno, I thought sniffing each other was an integral part of friendship dynamics."

Draco regards us for a moment and then says dryly,

"I think you're confusing us with dogs."

"Ah!" both Sin and I exclaim, "That'll be it."

We all follow Hagrid down a narrow path. I catch sight of Hermione and wave enthusiastically at her. My pet dorkzilla simply lifts her chin and stalks away without a backward glance. I feel besmirched. Sin, who apparently saw the exchange of twinly wuv, says,

"Ohhh, harsh, what'd you do to deserve the huff flounce?"

"She probably threatened her with bat violence," Draco mutters, and I pinch his arm in retaliation.

"Hermione is just jealous of my skills," I say.

"What skills?" Sin asks me curiously.

I think for a minute,

"I have many, many skills."

"What kind of skills?"

"The skilled type of skills."

"Ah, THOSE type of skills. Fair enough then." Sin nods.

Draco gives us a strange look,

"I don't think even you two understood the load of rubbish that just came out of your faces."

"I think you mean 'wubbish', for Buddha's sake Zaco, talk properly" I grin at Draco, who rolls his eyes in response.

We lost Neville at some point whilst vacating Carl, although I think he might have run away from us after the whole 'Kevin escaping and chasing Trevor' debacle. To be fair to Kevin, Trevor is very fat and chasable.

When we round a final corner there is a collective gasp at the sight of the fatt off massive castle. Jesus, I wasn't aware we'd be living in King Arthur's holiday home.

Set in front of Barbie's dream castle is a dark scary looking lake.

"No more'n four to a boat!" Hagrid yells at us.

Boat? No one said shit about a boat!

I turn to Sin and Draco,

"I don't know how to row a sodding boat, you two may need to take the reins on this one. And if the lochness monster comes along for a chat, tell him I'm not home."

They both laugh and despite my reservations, we climb into a teeny tiny death trap on water. Lucky though there is no rowing involved and with another load of yelling from Hagrid, the boats move forward by themselves.

Somehow we managed to get into a boat with just the three of us, and I'm slightly worried about the weight proportions. I say so to my new friends.

"Are you calling me fat?" Sin asks in mock hurt.

"Yes," I say with a solemn nod.

"Rude. Very rude indeed." Sin mutters.

"Deal with it," I smirk at him.

"I shall not!" Sin declares, and he stands up, "You take that back or I'm swimming to Hagbarts."

"You mean Hogwarts," Draco corrects, and he shuffles backwards a bit. The big baby.

"I know what I meant," Sin replies indignantly.

"I wouldn't swim in there," I point at the death water, "Mermaids might drag you down and eat your brains. And toes."

"I think you're getting mermaids confused with zombies," Sin says thoughtfully.

"You don't know, Ariel could be a zombie," I argue.

"Oh, don't bring Disney into this," Sin slaps his forehead.

"Mermaids are not zombies," Draco says matter of factly.

Sin and I both swing round to look at him.

"Mermaids exist?" I ask, astonished, although I don't really know why. If Wizards exist, then Mermaids aren't such a massive leap.

Draco sighs and says,

"Of course they do. And they aren't zombies."

And of course that leads to the next obvious question.

"Do zombies exist?"

Draco frowns for a second, as if considering the idea, and then says,

"No, of course not. But vampires do."

"VAMPIRES!" I shout, and a few other people from different death traps look over at us in fear. I wave at them and shout, "False alarm, no vampires, just zombie mermaids."

"Well, that's certainly better," Draco mutters to me.

"I feel like we're getting off topic here," Sin says.

"What were we talking about again?" I ask.

"You called me obese and so I threatened to swim with the zombies," Sin explains.

"THERE ARE NO ZOMBIES!" Draco all but yells in exasperation.

"Ok, ok, calm down Zaco," I raise placating hands. I tug on Sin's hand, "Come on, you luny, sit down."

But it turns out I tugged a little too hard, and Sin stumbles, as he's apt to do apparently. I try to stand to stop him from falling, and Draco jumps up to do the same. Unfortunately the end result is less than ideal, as we all bump into each other and end up upending the damn death trap.

Draco shouts, and I scream, whilst Sin merely exclaims something along the lines of 'here we go', and we all fall head first into the really cold zombie water. That of course leads to more splashing and yelling and such forth.

Sin:"Oh my god, Ariel has my foot!"

Me:"Quick, hide your sodding toes!"

Draco:"THERE ARE NO ZOMBIES! Ahhhh, a zombie's got me! I'm going to die!"

Sin:"Sorry, Draco, that was me."

Me:"Ahh, no, Sin's a zombie, Ariel nabbed him! Run!"

Draco: "We're in water you imbecile! We can't run!"

Me: "Then swim! Swim for your life!"

And then the situation descended into even more screaming and splashing as we all tried to escape the deathly clutches of Ariel the mermaid zombie.

** Sinclair's P.O.V **

"Are you alright, you nutter?" Harry asks me, frantically running his hands over my chest and shoulders, apparently looking for injury.

I shove him off,

"Yeah, I'm fine, just a little bit wet, thats all."

My hair is officially ruined. I'm pretty upset about it.

We were eventually 'rescued' from the water, and brought in ahead of the other children so that we could be given a chance to get dry. A woman who told us to call her Professor McGonagall did some kind of drying spell. After that she escorted us back to the other children to wait outside the hall to be sorted.

Professor McGonagall strikes me as the tough but fair type, although she didn't seem pleased by what she called our 'antics'. Ever tried to explain that it was her fault for pushing me in. But surprisingly it was Draco who defended her, by saying it was all of our faults and basically just an accident anyway. He looked just as stunned as the rest of us that he would be willingly putting himself in more trouble for the sake of a muggle-born, but hey, he still did it and that's what counts.

We got let off with a warning. From her tone I don't think we'll be getting many more 'warnings' before actual punishments start occurring.

Ever comes up behind me, with Draco at her side. She was just hugged to death by her own twin, and then sufficiently scolded. Ever looked like she spaced out somewhere in the middle of her sister's rant. From what Ever's told me, getting ranted at by her twin is a pretty common thing.

"Hello," Ever says pleasantly to my brother, "It's good to meet you, my name's Ever."

"Harry," my twin mumbles with uncalled for stiffness. I almost ask what his problem is, but then I see quite clearly what the problem is when Draco says coldly.

"Potter."

Uh oh.

"Malfoy," Harry narrow his eyes at Draco, who in turn narrows his own eyes right back.

Yep, this isn't going to end well.

"Alright, lets all be nice to each other," I say calmly. Or at least civil, I'll settle for civil by this point.

Harry's gaze flickers up to meet mine, and we have one of those sensei twin moments.

"You aren't actually considering being friends with Malfoy, are you? Do you know what he said about-"

"Yeah, I know. But he's alright really," I say, trying to diffuse the situation before it gets any worse.

Unfortunately Harry doesn't take the hint and says a bit harshly,

"He's a complete prat, Sinclair."

I open my mouth to argue, although I'm not sure what I'll be arguing back with yet. But Ever gets there first, and her eyes are blazing, she snaps at my brother,

"Back off, you don't know what you're talking about."

Turns out Ever is defensive to a fault regarding her friends, even tenuous ones like Draco.

Draco, for his part, looks both surprised and pleased by Ever's defense of him. Hopefully it'll at least stop him from saying anything scathing about muggle-borns in Ever's presence.

One can always hope.

Harry meets Ever's glare with one of his own,

"I think it's you who doesn't know what you're talking about. It's got nothing to do with you anyway."

Oh crap, now he's done it.

Ever crosses her arms over her chest and says firmly,

"Draco is my friend, and no matter what he said to you I won't let you be mean to him right in front of me."

Harry looks as close to furious as I've seen him in a long time. My brother does have a hair trigger temper most of the time.

"You're an idiot," Harry says. I know he doesn't actually mean it, he's just angry and annoyed, but Ever doesn't know that.

"And you're a judgemental twat," Ever's tone is icy.

Harry grits his teeth and says

"Aren't you a muggle-born?"

Before Ever can reply, with something scathing I'm sure, Draco steps up and says,

"No, she's a Unicorn, Potter. Leave her alone."

Oh, for bloody hells sake.

"Harry, are you alright, what's going on?" A boy who I remember is Ron Weasley, comes up to stand at my brother's side.

Yep, great, more people, thats exactly what we need.

"Stay out of it, Weasley," Draco says darkly.

Weasley snarls at Draco, and then looks over at Ever. He rolls his eyes and says,

"Oh, not you again."

"That's not Hermione, Ron, that's her twin," Harry says, still sounding pissed off.

"God, no, there's two of them," Weasley says very unhelpfully.

"What is _that_ supposed to mean?" Ever demands angrily.

Before things can completely explode, a flock of Casper's friends come streaming in through the wall. A lot of children gasp, and I'm pretty sure some one faints. My money's on Neville.

The ghosts start chattering, and whilst everyone is distracted by them I give Harry a quick pat on the head, and drag both Ever and Draco away to the opposite side of the group of children.

Professor McGonagall comes out then and shoo's the ghosts away. She tells us it's time to be sorted, and my old nervousness returns. I'm not sure I like the idea of being 'sorted' any more than I like the idea of being a wizard at all.

We all form a line and follow after Professor McGonagall. It only takes a few seconds before Ever says to me,

"I don't like your brother."

"I got that," I say in amusement, "To be honest I don't like him much either, but family is family."

"I know what you mean," Ever says with a laugh, and I see her look around at her twin.

"How come Dever's allowed to insult your brother, but I can't?" Draco asks, sounding irritated.

"Because he won't hit her," I mumble.

The great hall is impressively magical, with a weird fake ceiling and lot of candles and ghosts and shit. I feel like I've been transported into another world. And really, I kinda have been.

Then everything decends into chaos inside my mind when a freakin' hat starts to freakin' sing. Ever starts jumping up and down and points at it,

"TALKING HAT!" she shouts excitedly.

"Do a lot of objects talk around here?" I ask Draco.

He moves closer to me and replies,

"Only the enchanted ones."

"That doesn't sound promising," I say to him.

Draco shrugs and then smirks,

"Don't go around enchanting things and you'll be fine."

"Thanks Drake, I'll keep that in mind," I flick his arm.

Draco laughs, but merely shoves me a little in retaliation.

Professor McGongall stands at the front with a scroll,

When I call your name, you will put on the hat and sit on the stool to be sorted," she says. "Abbott, Hannah!"

A girl with blond hair and pinched face goes up to the front and sits down on the stool. The freakin' singing hat is put on top of her head, and a moment later it opens it's mouth and calls out,

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

One for the tables starts up a roaring applause as the girl jumps off the stool and runs to that table to sit down with the rest of her house. I studiously ignore how nervous I'm feeling.

"Nervous?" Draco asks me, and he sounds genuinely concerned.

I smile and shrug,

"A little," I don't want to sound like a complete baby. I dip my head, my black hair falling over my eyes slightly, and bit my lip.

Draco blushes, although I don't know why, and he reaches over to squeeze my wrist.

"It'll be ok, don't worry, you can't do anything wrong," Draco says.

I give him a real smile this time and nod in thanks.

Ever appears anything but nervous, and she's bouncing happily when her name is called.

"Granger, Everlyna"

Ever makes a face at the use of her full name, but she doesn't let it dampen her mood. She winks at Draco and me and whispers,

"Off I go to be psychoanalysed by a hat, wish me luck."

"Good luck," we both say, as if compelled to by some unseen force. Ever is a complete whirlwind of energy, I hope we stay friends, no matter where we're sorted.

Ever practically skips up to the stool and jumps up onto it with a graceful twist of her body. I've noticed that the freakin' singing hat takes no time at all with some people, and then with others it takes ages to decide. I wonder at the reason for that.

It's taking a while with Ever, that's for sure.

"Hhhhmmm, very strange," the hat says in a rumbly voice.

"I'm not difficult or strange, thank you" Ever mutters, obviously to the hat.

"You don't have to talk out loud to it, dear," Professor McGonagall says.

Ever frowns,

"The hat started it."

Another moment passes,

"Of course I would do whatever it takes, who wouldn't?" Ever says again out loud.

That seems to cinch something, because a second later the sorting hat opens it's mouth wide and calls,

"SLYTHERIN!"

Everybody stares in shocked silence. I whisper to Draco,

"I thought you said that muggle-borns don't get into Slytherin."

Draco is looking at Ever with renewed interest,

"They don't," he says, "Sometimes half-blood's do, but that's rare. Only one or two muggle-borns have ever gotten into Slytherin in Hogwart's history."

Oh wow.

Ever breaks the awkward silence by fist pumping the air and saying,

"Yes! I get to be in the evil villain house!"

I stifle my laughter as Ever climbs off the stool and yanks the sorting hat off as well. She places the hat on the stool and narrows her eyes at it,

"I'm watching you, hat," she says menacingly. I might be imagining it, but I'm pretty sure the hat narrows it's non-eyes back at her in a silent 'bring it bitch'. I think only Ever could make enemies with a hat.

Ever walks calmly over to the Slytherin table where she is met with silence. A few people give her looks of disgust, and my gut twists. I don't like the idea of Ever getting picked on, or shunned, in her own house. Ever appears to take it in stride though even when she sits down and that table quickly becomes empty as other children shuffle over to another one so they won't be seen sitting with her.

As other children get sorted Draco and I watch as Ever merely spreads her hands out over the table and declares suddenly,

"Yep, this will be MY table. No one can sit here without my permission."

All the Slytherins give her strange looks, but Ever just sits back contentedly and seemingly ignores them as if they are beneath her attention in some way. Yeah, I think, somehow, that Ever Granger will be able to handle anything Slytherin throws at her.

"She's mad," Draco says to me.

"She already got her own table," I argue.

Draco opens his mouth to respond, and then pauses, before finally saying,

"Good point."

Hermione Granger, Ever's twin, is sorted into Gryffindor. Ever gives her a thumbs up, and Hermione actually smiles tentatively back.

"Malfoy, Draco"

Draco nods at me and squeezes my wrist again before going up to the stool and sitting down. The hat barely has to touch his head before it bellows,

"SLYTHERIN!"

Not exactly a surprise. I panic for a moment though, unsure of how Draco will react to Ever now.

But he manages to shock everybody by going up to Ever and actually _asking_ her if he can sit at her table. Ever appears pleased, and after a short moment of thought, she welcomes him to 'her special table'. I'm pretty sure I heard Ever and Draco call it the 'evil plotting table'. For evilness. Uh oh.

Finally it's mine and Harry turn. He gets called first because he's oldest. By like a minute. But still.

"Potter, Harry"

Harry walks past me looking more anxious than I've ever seen him. But he holds his head up high and refuses to falter. That's my brother, the stubborn idiot.

I smile encouragingly at him when he sits down, and he smiles back at me. I see the worry in his eyes though, and mouth 'To infinity'. Harry smiles for real at that, and mouths back 'And beyond'. Toy Story was our favourite film as children, still kinda is actually, and it was one of the only ones we were actually allowed to watch. We both love the idea of flying, always have, and probably always will.

Every time in our lives when we've felt nervous or upset or unsure, we've whispered those words to each other. They mean hope. All we had in our lives for a long time was hope.

The hat stays on Harry's head for a long time, but finally it calls out,

"GRYFFINDOR!"

Harry seems happy with the result, and relieved. He head's off to Gryffindor table to thunderous applause. We high five as he passes me.

Then my name is called,

"Potter, Sinclair"

I gulp nervously and move slowly towards the stool. When the hat is placed on my head a voice pops into my head and I fight the urge to yanks the hat right back off again.

" _Hmmm, another difficult one,_ " the weird hat voice says, " _Very brave, clearly, just like your brother...but oh, a clever mind. More focused. You had a plan, to escape. You want freedom above all else. A loyal heart beats in you. You are not sure if you belong here. You aren't sure if you even want to belong here. Interesting. You have a great passion for mystery and...danger. But a healthy dose of self-preservaton as well. Yes, very difficult you are."_

Uh, thanks Yoda, just call me Sin Skywalker.

" _How do you feel about Gryffindor?_ "

The hat is bloody asking me? I don't know. Harry's there, it can't be that bad.

" _Not that bad, eh? What about Slytherin?"_

Slytherin. My new friends are there. But...I don't know. Maybe I really don't belong in any house.

" _Answer me this, young child of destiny, what_ _matters more to you, being strong and helping others, or your freedom?"_

 ** _Freedom._** My mind whispers instantly before I can even think about it.

But it's more complicated than that. I want both those things. I want to make my own choices.

I get the creepy impression that the hat is smiling.

" _Then one last question, are you willing to do whatever it takes to achieve that ability?"_

Well, yes, I'd fight for my own freedom, always, if that's what you mean.

" _Good, then I know exactly where to put you-"_

"SLYTHERIN!"

Ah, fuck a duck, I think the damn hat just tricked me into going over to the dark side.


	3. The really weird rock: Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER. AT ALL. LIKE NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT. I PROMISE. BUT JK ROWLING DOES, SO, YAY FOR HER. ;)

** Ever's P.O.V **

"Pssstttt, Drake."

"What?"

"Drake."

"Yes, what?"

"Drake."

"Sin, what is it?"

"...Drake."

"WHAT?!"

"Alright, alright keep your hair on, no need to shout," Sin says, clearly trying to conceal his smirk as best he can. I hide my snickering behind my hand.

"You two...frustrate me," Draco says, trying to sound cool and composed even though he looks a little like an angry dove.

There's a pause.

"Drake?" Sin says.

Draco glares at him,

"I swear to God, Sin, I will deck you one if you don't tell me what the problem is."

Sin shifts around from foot to foot, obviously feeling a little uncomfortable. He leans in closer to Draco and me, and says,

"I think people are talking about me."

I look around, seeing all the other children obviously staring at Sin, and then turn back to my friends.

"Yeah, I think that's a safe assumption to make."

Draco rolls his eyes,

"Of course people are talking about you, you're _Sinclair Potter_ , the wizarding world's hero."

"One of, technically," Sin corrects almost absentmindedly.

Draco and I exchange a glance, and I say,

"Yeah, but we're pretending Potter doesn't exist, because he's a twat."

"What she said," Draco points at me.

"I know you don't like Harry-" Sin starts, but I cut him off.

"No, we don't. But because you're our friend, we're willing to simply ignore his existence."

Stupid Harry Potter. He really pissed me off. With his annoying messy hair and adorkable glasses and arrogant prattness. I kinda hate him, and I'm not ultimately sure why, but I do.

Sin frowns at us,

"Ignoring his existence? As appose to...?"

I crush my hand into a fist and say,

"Destroying him."

Draco does the same thing, but says,

"Evil Slytherin Stylie."

Sin crosses his arms and gives me a 'look',

"There is no way that Drake came up with that sentence on his own, you've clearly corrupted him already."

Draco and I fist bump and I reply,

"We are team evil masterminds...join us Sin...join us in the fight for world domination."

"World domination is what all the cool children villains are doing this year," Draco adds, in a far too serious voice.

Sin just stares at us for a long time. One dark eyebrow arches, and his bright grassy eyes shine with amusement.

"You're both mental."

"Rude," I admonish.

"That's a yes then," Draco says with a small smirk.

"Bloody well is not, I refuse to be part of your shinnanigans!" Sin declares boldly.

"You love our shenanigans," I reply firmly, because he really does.

Sin opens his mouth to respond when suddenly he trips, as I've discovered he does quite a lot, and his hands smash into a painting. Paintings can talk by the way in the wizarding world. How? I have no freakin' idea. Why? To cause trouble, that's why, the sodding things are always moving around. Speaking of, don't even get me started on the ruddy stairs in this place. All the staircases in Hogwarts are like out of control bipolar crack addicts. I'm not even exaggerating. They never take you where you want to go, they change destinations half way through, they change colour and shape for no reason. Part of me wants to burn them and build escalators, the contrary arseholes.

"Are you muttering about staircases again?" Draco asks, as he moves to help Sin not fall quite so dramatically.

"Bloody staircases," I mutter in response.

A woman from inside the painting Sin just smacked, starts shouting at him,

"You bloody swine, get your nasty little child fingers away from me!" she screeches. The woman is dressed in 18th century clothing and has a thin shouty face. She reminds me of Professor Mcgoggles, the angry lady who teaches us how to change pins into toothpicks. Or is it toothpicks into pins? I dunno, I was busy having a mini sword fight with Sinclair under the table and playing noughts and crosses with Draco on my hand. Quills tickle. Hermione and Sin managed it though, and Professor Mcgoggles praised them to high heaven.

I was much better in Professor Flatwacks class when we had to levitate stuff, it was amazing fun because I got to pour a pot full of ink over Ron Weasley's head. He looked like the lovechild of a ginger and a smurf for the rest of the day. Result.

Professor Beansprout's lesson was weird, I'd never have thought a flower could sneeze, but now I know some can. Magical history is definitely the most boring class known to unicorn-kind, and I'm including maths in that.

Hermione, predictably, loves it. The mighty dorkzilla has taken to only acknowledging me when we're at least semi-alone. In groups she keeps her distance, especially when Sin and Draco are around, which is pretty much constantly.

I really like our dorms, they're down in the dungeons, which is beyond cool. I feel like I have a proper evil lair. I will need a spinny chair though, you know, to complete the look.

Once Draco has steadied Sin somewhat, the green eyed boy sniffs in annoyance at the woman in the painting and snaps back,

"I'll have you know that my fingers are not nasty, they are clean and well looked after."

I know Sin is a little self-conscious about looking...scruffy. I think it has more to do with his home life than his actual appearance. I understand the feeling, it's not easy being the child with battered dirty clothes and the clearly malnourished body. I get that, I really do.

Draco and I steer Sin away from the pissy painting, and Draco mutters,

"Don't engage with them, Sin, you know it never ends well. Remember what happened with Peeves the other day."

Oh Jesus, did I mention the bloody Casper groupies? No? Well I should have, because they're madness with knobs on. Peeves especially. He pulls out rugs from underneath your feet, and throws things and sneaks up behind you to shout in your ear. I've started throwing things back at him, even though all solid objects go right through his ghostly body anyway. It makes me feel better.

Although a few days ago Sin lobbed his shoe at Peeves after the irritating poltergeist decided to throw a particularly big bit of chalk at my face. Unfortunately the shoe went right through Peeves' chest and hit Professor Mcgoggles in the face by accident. It wasn't Sin's finest moment, and he got detention for a week because of it. I gave him a hug for defending me though, and he said it was worth it. I'm not sure I agree, but I appreciate the sentiment just the same.

"Not as bad as when you _'accidentally'_ kicked Mrs Norris," Sin says to Draco.

Draco pulls an outraged expression,

"It WAS an accident, the stupid cat came out of nowhere and it was too late to stop without falling over."

"Excuses, excuses," Sin replies, waving his hand, "We ought to call the RSPCA on you, Draco Malfoy! The cat kicker, on the warpath again, no kitty is safe!"

Sin and I fall about laughing as Draco huffs indignantly and mock pouts. Filtch, the caretaker, who we have now christened Garfield's lover, is bonkers. He hates children, or maybe just people in general, but especially children. He's always grumbling loudly about us tracking mud through his halls and setting fire to his mops and exploding his toilets (the Weasley twins). Ok, I may have helped with the last one, but I was only their assistant, and all I did was hold the dynamite potion. I swear.

Of all the professors, it's probably Professor Squirrell who freaks me out the most. He smells of garlic all the time, and he does that strange sputtering to himself nonsense that I've see crazy homeless people do on the bus.

Sin doesn't like him either, although that might be because his scar always seems to hurt during Professor Squirrels class. We have no idea why, but it's worth looking into at some point.

We make our way down to breakfast, and this time we only get lost twice, and one of those times I led us in the wrong way on purpose because I needed the loo.

"What lessons have we got this morning?" I ask Draco when we sit down.

"Double potions with the Gryffindors," he answers whilst pouring cereal into a bowl.

"Is that with your Godfather?" Sin asks curiously.

Draco nods a little sheepishly,

"Yeah, Snape's our head of house too you know."

Oh, we know. He made a speech to us the day after we got here about behaving in a dignified manner at all times as to gather respect for our house. Draco admitted a few days later that Snape is his Godfather, but he swore us to secrecy. I guess I'd be embarrassed too if Snape was my godfather, he's scary as all hell.

I've gotten to know a few of the other Slytherins, although they mostly keep to themselves. I haven't had much of a chance to mingle with other houses, although I get the impression that they are used to Slytherins ignoring them, or in some cases sneering at them. Most of the Slytherins still seem to have a problem with me being a muggle-birthed thingy. I don't see the issue, although Draco's attempted to explain it to me more than once. I can tell he's genuinely trying not to insult me, but however you look at it, it's pretty much out and out racism. Sort of.

I still don't really know if Draco actually thinks those horrible things about muggle-borns, or not. I have a feeling he see's me as some kind of exception for whatever reason. Maybe because I'm in Slytherin, or because I defended him to Potter, or because Sin is our mutual friend. I hope that one day he'll see how stupid prejudice is, but as long as he's not being mean to muggle-borns, which I haven't seen him be so far, then I'm not too worried about it.

I'm brought out of my thoughts when suddenly I hear Sinclair shouting obscenities and throwing rice krispies at something. I turn around and realise that something is his owl, the incredibly evil Voldebert.

"Away with you, Voldebert, and take your damn-fool poisoned letter with you." Sin snaps.

I snort into my hand, and I see Draco take the letter away from a screeching Voldebert. Sin is still pelting her with breakfast cereal. When he runs out of rice krispies, I try to hand him a bowl of co co pops to use. Sin pushes the bowl away and says to me,

"I would never waste co co pops on Voldebert, she is not worthy of such a sacrifice."

"You have a letter, Sin," Draco remarks, holding out a small slightly dodgy looking envelope.

Sin scrunches up his nose at it and mutters suspiciously,

"She probably licked it."

I pat him on the shoulder and say,

"You're being ridiculous, owls can't lick things." Can they? I honestly have no idea. It's not the kind of question a normal person would ask themselves.

Sin narrow his eyes dangerously at his owl,

"Voldebert could. She licked it so that I'd catch her evil owly disease and fall in love with her like Harry did with Hedwog."

"Your brother has a hedgehog?" I make a 'huh' face.

Sin shakes his head,

"No, his owl is named Hedwog."

"I thought it was named Bedwig," Draco says in confusion.

Sin waves a hand dissmisvely,

"Yeah, yeah, whatever."

"Just open the letter Sin," Draco says with a sigh.

Sin takes the letter reluctantly from Draco and turns it over a few times before saying,

"It's most likely a wizard catalogue or something. I wouldn't get real post."

I cringe inwardly at that. Sin doesn't talk about his aunt and uncle that much, but I get the sense that they're about as loving as my own mother. A.k.a about as loving as a bag full of bees.

"Open it up then, and we'll see what it is," Draco says casually, although there's a gleam of interest in his pale eyes.

I hear Sinclair's name being called from somewhere off in the distance, and when I spot Harry waving his own letter at Sin, I poke my friend so that he'll look. Sin frowns at his brother and opens the letter. He scans it quickly, his eyes widening, and then he looks back up at Harry. Harry notices me watching him, and his eyes narrow, I poke my tongue out in response. Not exactly mature, but I feel it gets the message across quite nicely. The message being _I don't like you or your face_.

Sinclair scribbles something down on the letter and then throws it at Voldebert, who actually catches it and carries it away again.

"What was that about then?" I ask Sin.

He shrugs,

"Apparently Hagrid wants me to visit."

"Will you go?" Draco shifts closer to grab the bowl of co co pops. There are rice krisies everywhere, like crackling snow covering the table.

Sin shrugs again,

"Yeah, I guess, what's the worst that can happen?"

"He could eat you," I point out.

Sin gives me another ironic look and says dryly,

"Thanks for that, Everlyna."

I pinch him for calling me by my full name, he knows I hate that. It makes me sound like some kind of fairy belle dancer. I am neither.I'm a bloody fabulous unicorn who deserves respect. And world domination.

** Sinclair's P.O.V **

"Ah yes, the Potter twins, our new celebrities," The Angry Dungeon master says, a gleam of contempt in his black eyes.

I feel disliked. It's something I'm somewhat used to, but still, usually I only get this level hate from my own family members.

The Angry Dungeon master, or ADM for short, continue calling out names from a scroll. I look over at Harry, who is sitting on the other side of the room with his new best fwend 4 for life, Weasley. Harry makes a face at me, and gestures at the ADM, I shrug in response. What am I supposed to say? I don't know what the ADM's problem is, and I ain't about to ask neither, I am fond of being alive after all.

"You are here to learn the subtle science and exact art of potionmaking," the ADM begins suddenly, and my attention snaps back to the front of the room.

Ever is sitting on my left, doodling giant rock monsters eating dragons wearing top hats, you know, because she's super normal like that. Draco is on my right, and he appears to be trying to disappear, or to become dust before our very eyes. I guess he must be feeling self-conscious about the ADM being his Godfather.

I reach over and squeeze his wrist under the table. Draco jumps in his seat in surprise, but otherwise he doesn't look up from the lab table.

"Don't worry, everyone's too busy staring in awe at Harry and warily at me," I tell him quietly so that the ADM won't hate on me even more for talking in his presence.

Draco actually snickers at that,

"It's not that bad, people aren't staring at you...that much."

"Pfffttt, I'm used to it, people stare in wonder at me all the time," I say boldly, earning another small laugh from Draco.

"In wonder huh?"

"I like believe it's wonder at my unique greatness, and disbelief that a creature such as myself could exist among lowly mortals."

"Such as us?" Draco asks, teasing now.

"I wouldn't exactly call you and Ever lowly, you're more like my special minions," I reply with a grin.

Draco jabs me one in the ribs and leans over me to speak to Ever,

"Oi 'er, we're being insulted by the hero who can't walk in a straight line for two seconds without tripping."

Ever looks up from her doodles, that have now descended into fish playing snakes and ladders with what appears to be a lion. I decide not to ask, safer that way.

"What's hero boy saying now?" Ever eyes me suspiciously.

"Apparently," Draco tells her, "we are minions."

Ever gasps and huffs at me,

"We are not yellow!"

Draco's eyes widen and he asks,

"What?"

Uh oh, culture confusion!

"Minions are weird yellow things from a film about a villain who adopts three children," Ever explains to Draco.

Draco's little nose scrunches up like a baby fox and he asks me,

"Why would you call us yellow things?"

They're both staring at me now, and I hang my head,

"I didn't. I wasn't referencing the film, I meant minions in general."

" _Minions in general,"_ Ever mimics me, "What in the world is that supposed to mean you blithering snapperjack?"

I stare at her, open mouthed, Draco and I share a glance. I say slowly,

"I'm not sure how to respond to that."

Ever's smile turns evil,

"No one ever does!"

She begins to cackle like a witch and we...wait, cackle like a witch? She is a bleeding witch! Hm, maybe I am a blithering snapperjack...whatever the hell that is.

Quite suddenly, the ADM strikes, and I have no defence systems in place. He snaps,

"Potter!"

Both Harry and I are immediately alert. I realise then that I missed the ADM's entire potions speech because I was too busy having a conversation about minions. I don't feel like I'll be able to use that as an excuse though, something tells me that wouldn't fly with the ADM.

"Um, which one of us do you mean?" I ask tentatively.

The ADM gives me the mother of all glares. Like, a glare on glare tablets in glare land who's only dream is to be the best glare to have ever been glared. If this glare had children, those children would be a bunch of little sneers waiting to happen.

BRAIN! WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? SHUT UP!

"What would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?" The ADM asks me, although 'ask' is a bit too polite of a word for it.

I rack my brains, trying to come up with an answer. I'm sure Draco talked to me about something like this before, he's really into all the potions side of things and has read all our potions textbooks already. Sometimes he babbles on about it, and Ever and I pretend to listen. Occasionally a bit of information leaks through though.

"You'd get a sleeping potion. A ruddy powerful one that's known as the Draught of Living Death." Flipping hell, I didn't realise I listened that much.

The ADM appears surprised for about two seconds, and then he whips round to pin Harry with a death look. Harry looks close to falling out of his chair when the ADM snaps at him,

"Potter, what is a bezoar and what is it's use?" I see my brother's face pale considerably, and right then I realise there's no way he'll be able to answer that question. Ever nudges me and gestures at her sister, Hermione, who appears to be having some kind of aneurism, her hand stretched high and waving. Clearly she knows the answer. Ever rolls her eyes, and I ask her,

"Do you know the answer?"

Ever nods,

"'Course I do, Draco wouldn't shut up about cures for poisons yesterday."

Oh right, yeah, I must have zoned out on that one.

Draco gives us both a dark look, and we both smile at our friend in the hopes of appeasing him.

"I don't know, Sir." Harry eventually mumbles.

The ADM looks back over at me and snaps once again, although his tone is more curious this time,

"Potter, what is the difference between monkshood and wolfsbane?"

Ah, that one I did actually read about.

"Trick question, they're the same plant...Sir," I add on the end quickly.

The ADM looks between me and my brother for a moment, and then sneers,

"Looks like one of you got all the brains."

Woah, harsh.

"One more time then, Potter," the ADM says to Harry, "what type of potion uses silver tree bark?"

Harry gets that pissed off look on his face that he gets sometimes when he's backed into a corner. I wince, waiting for the inevitable explosion.

"I don't know," he says quietly, "But I think Hermione does, why don't you try her?"

A few people laugh, including, although reluctantly, Ever. By this point Hermione is practically jumping up and down in her seat and the ADM barks at her,

"Sit down, now." He gives Harry a stiff look, "For your information Potter, a bezoar is a stone taken from the stomach of a goat and it will save you from most poisons. Silver tree bark is used in most healing potions for broken bones. Well? Why aren't you writing this down?"

Um...

There's a scrabble for paper and quills, and over the noise I hear the ADM say,

"And a point from Gryffindor House for your cheek, Potter."

Things don't improve much for Gryffindor as the lesson goes on. The ADM puts us all in to a group of three, which is a relief really because if we'd been in pairs then Ever and I might have come to blows over which one of us got Draco.

We're supposed to be making a simple cure for boils, and the ADM sweeps around the room telling almost everyone off for doing something wrong. Draco shows us how to crush snake fangs and cut up nettles in the proper way.

Since the ADM seems to have something against me, I figure I better pay attention and learn quick. Ever is more subdued, but she listens and takes some notes. She particularly likes to be holding the big mixing spoon and she sets up the horned snails for a race. We make bets on the snails. Mine comes first, with Draco's snail following close behind in second place. Ever calls for best out of three and next time her snail wins. We take care to hide our snail race from the ADM.

Mid way through the ADM praising our (Draco's) potion, a big cloud of green smoke explodes from somewhere at the back of the room. Neville has somehow managed to melt his cauldron. He's covered in the potion, and seconds later he falls to floor, moaning in pain as boils spring out all over his body.

"Idiot, child," the ADM stalks towards Neville, "Someone take him to the hospital wing."

Ever volunteers and she takes Neville away with her whilst making a face at Draco and I. Poor Neville, the unlucky sod.

Later on that day I head over to Hagrid's with Harry, who is complaining about the ADM to me.

"He blamed me for what happened to Neville too!" Harry throws his hands up in exasperation.

"Well, you better stop sabotaging Neville's potions then," I tease with a smirk.

Harry glares at me,

"Oh, don't you start. It's not funny, he hates us."

"We best start studying for potions then if we're going to prove him wrong," I say with lop-sided smile.

Harry runs a hand through his unnaturally unruly hair and sighs,

"How are you finding it then, doing magic and being in Slytherin?"

Harry and I haven't had much time to talk since we got here. Being in different houses, with different friends, makes it hard to spend much time together. Especially as our friends don't like each other.

I consider my answer carefully though before saying,

"It's alright. I really like transfiguration, and herbology is weird, but it's kinda fun too. I like being in Slytherin, the robes match my eyes. Why, is everything groovy over in Griff-land?"

"Groovy?" Harry arches a black eyebrow at me.

I wink at him,

"Keeping it real, brother."

Harry snorts out a laugh and shakes his head,

"I like being in Gryffindor too, it's...so much better than I ever thought it could be," then he gets this pensive look on his face and I brace myself, "Do you...do you think you would have rather been sorted into Gryffindor?"

I blink at him, startled,

"Um, I dunno. Hard to say since I can't really compare. But from what I can tell, I prefer Slytherin...I have friends there." My first real friends. I know it's sad, but Ever and Draco are the only proper friends I've ever had. I was really missing out, I know that for sure now.

Harry makes a face and sighs,

"Yeah...but...you could have made friends in Gryffindor."

Could I? I don't honestly know, but from what I've seen, the crazy opera hat was right to put me in Slytherin. I'm not like the Gryffindor's. I'm not bold, or loud, or courageous or blah blah blah. Harry fits in there though, and I'm glad about that.

"I like the friends I have now, though," I tell my twin, "Ever and Draco are really great."

Harry groans and runs another harsh hand through his hair,

"I still can't believe you're friends with Draco Malfoy and... ** _her_**." He says 'her' with such vehement dislike that I almost tease him about it, but I stop myself just in time. The last thing I want is to give Harry and Ever another reason to not like each other.

"Yeah, well, believe it," I reply, nonplussed, "Besides, why are you asking me about being in Gryffindor...do you miss me that much?" I raise my eyebrows suggestively.

Harry starts sputtering indignantly,

"No, I bloody do not! I'm happy to get a reprieve from your madness, actually."

I smirk openly at him,

"You miss me! Oh my magical beard in the sky, you miss me and my face! HA HA!"

Obviously, that's when the ad hoc break dancing occurs.

Harry shouts at me to stop, but I can't hear him over how epic my dance moves are. Eventually Harry comes at me and tackles my epicness, we both go crashing to ground.

That's how Hagrid and his massive pet bear find us some time later, tangled together and fighting in the grass.

"Get off me Harry, Jesus, you are so FAT! I'm _dying_ here, your fatness is CRUSHING me!"

"Stop dancing like a prat then!"

"NEVER!"

"Idiot!"

"Tosser!"

"Weirdo!"

"Floppy head!"

"What does that even _mean_?!"

"None of your business!"

"You're so annoying!"

"You're so FAT!"

Ah, brotherly love, ain't nothing in this world like it.


	4. The really weird rock: Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER. AT ALL. LIKE NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT. I PROMISE. BUT JK ROWLING DOES, SO, YAY FOR HER. ;)

** Ever's P.O.V **

"Flying lessons?" I scrunch up my nose.

"Yeah, like on a broomstick!" Draco exclaims excitedly.

Sin and I exchange a look, and Sin says,

"I don't think I want to do that."

Draco rolls his eyes and nudges Sin's arm,

"It's really fun. I fly all the time at home."

Draco's voice takes on that show off-like tone again and I suppress a smirk.

"Maybe Zaco's right, Sin, it could be fun," I pat Sin's arm amicably.

Sin shrugs and makes a non-committal noise.

"What if...I dunno...I fall off. Everyone will laugh at me," Sin shrugs and starts twiddling his thumbs.

"Nah," I shake my head, "If anyone's gonna fall off and have everyone laugh at them then that's Neville."

Both Sin and Draco start snickering, because as nice a person as Neville is, he is also very, very, accident prone. I feel bad for him, as he seems relatively alone in Gryffindor. I would say I wish he was in Slytherin, but honest to God I don't think he would have survived a week in the dungeons.

I take a bite of bacon and wonder what it'll be like to fly a broomstick. Even the thought is out of this world mental.

When the post arrives that morning, Kevin comes flapping in along side the owls and lands on my table. Attached to his leg is the wizard newspaper, which reminds me of when Sin came back from Hagrid's the other night. Apparently the vault he and his brother visited inside Gringotts with Hagrid was broken into. Sin said the package Hagrid took out of it was small and oddly shaped. Even more interesting is that it's meant to be in hidden somewhere in this school. I'm gonna go ahead and guess the third floor corridor.

"I still can't believe you have a bat instead of an owl," Draco says, shaking his head at Kevin.

I poke my tongue out at Draco and argue,

"You have that freaky griffin thingy instead of an owl."

"She's an eagle, and therefore still a bird."

"So, what's your point."

"Kevin, is not a bird." Draco crosses his arms as if that final argument settles everything.

Kevin makes that weird screamy sound back at him.

"Now, now, there's no need to upset Kevin," Sin says with a small smirk, "He's just as good as any owl. Better even, because he's not plotting our distruction."

"Owls are not plotting our destruction," Draco says in exasperation.

Sin sighs,

"Sure, that's what they want you to think."

"No, that's what's true," Draco says dryly, "You have no proof that they're trying to destroy us all."

"Do you have any proof that they aren't?" Sin counters.

Draco scowls and says,

"That's not the same thing."

"Voldebert tried to murder me!" Sin exclaims dramatically.

"Even if that's true-" Draco starts.

" **If**!" Sin shouts, "What do you mean **if**? She is clearly a demon in fluffy disguise."

Draco goes on as if Sin hadn't said anything,

"Even _if_ Voldebert tried to murder you, that doesn't mean all owls are in some kind of evil secret agency and are plotting to take over the world."

I smile manically and say,

"Nope, that's just us."

"I didn't say that owls wanted to take over the world," Sin sniffs derisively, "They're simply seeking to kill us all, what happens afterwards is of no consequence to them."

"That's when the evil empire SPUCKS will take over," I explain to Draco.

Both Sin and Draco exchange a look that clearly says _'what?_ '.

"What's SPUCKS?" Draco asks slowly, as if resigned to that fact that he has to know even though he doesn't want to.

"SPUCKS is the most evil collaboration of all time. Spiders and Ducks."

Draco lets his head flop down onto his arms, hiding his face even as his shoulders shake with laughter. Sin isn't so reserved and he starts attempting to cover his own mirth by placing his hand over his mouth.

I frown at them,

"I don't know what you both find so amusing. This is serious. You don't fuck with SPUCKS."

A sudden commotion over at the Gryffondor table gets my attention, and I watch as one of the Slytherin boys snatches something away from Neville. I point at him and ask Draco, the master of all pureblood knowledge,

"Who's that?"

Draco stops laughing long enough to frown over at the young Slytherin boy. Eventually Draco says,

"Theodore Knott."

He already sounds like a toss pot.

Harry and Ron appear quick to defend poor Neville and I feel my sympathy for the boy deepen. If he had a little more confidence then he might not get picked on so much. Not that anyone deserves to be bullied obviously, shy or not.

"Do you think we should try to hang out with Neville again?" Sin asks thoughtfully. His deep green eyes are trained on the other boy, and I see the genuine concern in them.

Draco makes a face,

"But he's in _Gryffindor_."

Sin and I fix Draco with a long, hard look, and we wait for the inevitable conclusion. Draco eventually relents and continues,

"Which is completely fine."

"And why is it completely fine?" I press.

Draco rolls his eyes at me, but says in a bored tone,

"Because we shouldn't discriminate people just because of who their parents are or what house they're in."

Sin and I nod along in satisfaction, until Draco adds,

"Unless they're in Hufflepuff, because that's just embarrassing for everyone."

I decide to ignore that, and say,

"I think Sin is right, we should be better friends with Neville."

Draco mutters,

"I wasn't aware we were friends with him at all."

"Draco!" Me and Sin scold.

"You know," Draco says in annoyance, "there are a lot of rules that come along with being friends with you two. I'm not allowed to say anything bad about mud-muggle-borns. I'm not allowed to call Potter a knobhead, even though he clearly is. I'm not allowed to make fun of Gryffindors. You know there's such a thing as taking someone as they are."

Sin and I give each other a look, and Sin says drolly,

"No, Draco, you aren't supposed to do those things if you want to be a decent human being."

"And trust me, we take you as you are," I add snarkily.

"Also," Sin arches an eyebrow at Draco, "you do know that when you and Ever say 'Potter', you could easily be referring to me. Because I am, you know, a Potter."

"He's got a point Zaco," I say with a nod.

Draco shrugs in response,

"Yeah, but you know we mean your dickhead of a brother."

"Draco, quit it with the insults," Sin snips, but there's no real heat behind it.

"What else are we supposed to call your brother though?" I ask.

Dryly Sin suggests,

"Um, how about 'Harry'?"

My expression becomes one of distaste and I say,

"Nah, I don't like it. Too friendly."

Sin just sighs heavily at us,

"It wouldn't kill you two to be nice to my brother."

"It might," Draco mutters.

"You know, those are big words coming from someone who threw down with his brother not that long ago," I accuse, poking Sin in the cheek.

"That's different," Sin argues.

"How?" Draco and I demand at the same time.

Sin rolls his shoulders back and says,

"Harry is my brother, therefore it is my right to beat him into the ground whenever he does something that displeases me."

"I thought it was Harry who kicked your arse for dancing," I reply.

"He was so _fat_! It was like fighting a whale! And not one of those cute little ones either, _a big_ _ **fat**_ _whale_!" Sin exclaims loudly, loud enough in fact that I see Harry himself look over at us.

"Shut up Sinclair!" Harry shouts over at his brother, "I'm not fat, you're just a rubbish fighter."

Sin stands up, points at his brother and shouts back,

"Oh, go eat a log cake, ya big fatty!"

Harry's face turns molten in anger,

"At least I don't eat five big packets of Haribo all at once!"

Sin gasps and yells back,

"Don't you dare bring Haribo into this you bloody...fat... _fiend_! You whale fiend!"

I notice my sister watching the argument and I wave over at her. Draco is busy trying to wrestle Sin back down onto the bench. I think the only way he's going to manage that is if he knocks Sin out.

Hermione is making a face that tells me she does not approve of any of this. I can't say I do either, but it's definitely more funny than anything.

I catch Harry's gaze at some point and we have an unnoticed staring contest. I shall defeat him!

**Sinclair's P.O.V**

Just as predicted, Neville fell off his broom and broke his wrist. Then Theodore Knots decided to be the biggest shithead ever and flew off with Neville's weird orby thing. My brother took it upon himself to save the day, as did Ever. I then flew off after them, as did Draco (although far more reluctantly), just in case a fight broke out mid-air. Knott threw the orby thing away with a squeal when he saw so many people coming after him.

Ever and Harry, somewhat predictably, raced each other to grab the orb thingy. I have a bad feeling those two are going to be competing in everything for the next seven years. I don't know why they hate each other so much, but it's clearly an 'on sight' kind of thing.

Draco and I hung back, acting more as referee's than anything. Ever and Harry all but crashed into each other, and Ever lost the grip on her broom. Draco and I rushed to help her, but it was Harry who got there first and somehow pulled her up onto his broom. How the school broom took both their weight is a mystery to me.

It turns out Ever still had the orby thing in her hand, and they then proceeded to argue loudly about which one of them technically caught it. Draco and I stayed well out of that argument.

When we all landed back on the ground, though, both Professor Mcgoggles and the ADM were lying in wait for us. I winced when the ADM gave us a scathing look. Surprisingly though Ever and Harry were the only ones led away to be punished.

Or at least that's what I thought at the time. Now I know different.

"Woah, that's amazing!" Draco says excitedly as we walk through the corridors.

Ever is grinning from ear to ear, it's actually kind of scary.

"I know. I thought the ADM was going to eat me or something, but he introduced me to Flint and said I'd be the new Slytherin seeker!"

It turns out both Harry and Ever are going to be seekers this year. I don't even really know what a seeker is, but I'm still excited about it.

Harry catches up with us in the corridor, Ron in tow.

"Our Dad was a seeker," Harry tells me, a sad and proud smile on his face. I smile back, figures Harry would be the most like our father. Obviously I never knew either of my parents, but I like to think they would have been proud of Harry. And me too. Maybe. At least I hope I wouldn't have been a complete disappointment to them.

"You ready to lose to me again, Potter!" Ever says sweetly to Harry.

Harry gives her a scathing look and replies,

"In your dreams, Granger!"

"Woah, you haven't even started training yet!" I hold up my hands, warding off the bad vibes. This could quite quickly descend into a fight.

"I could still beat you, even without training," Ever says to my brother, apparently ignoring me completely.

Harry is focused on Ever as well, and he says,

"I'd like to see you try!"

I hear Draco whisper something to Ever, and my head whips around when I hear the word 'duel'. Oh for the love of Haribo! I give Draco a stern look, but he just shrugs innocently.

Ever then points at Harry and announces,

"I challenge you to a wizards duel!"

Harry appears startled for a few seconds. Please just say no, Harry, you numpty.

Draco snickers haughtily at Harry,

"I bet you've never even heard of a wizard's duel before."

Oh, that'll do it.

"Of course he has," Weasley pipes up, "he'll take you on any time, any place."

Harry peers around at us all, obviously seeing no way out of this now unless he wants to admit to being afraid of Ever. Now that's something my twin will never do.

"Good," Draco says in a taunting tone, "We'll meet you in the trophy room at midnight."

"Fine!" Harry snaps, and with one last look at me, and one last glare at Ever, he storms off with Ron.

I rub the space between my eyebrows and sigh,

"Well, that happened."

Ever is dancing on the spot with barely contained glee. She pats my arm gently,

"Don't worry, I'll go easy on your brother. I shall let him live."

I give her an ironic look and reply dryly,

"Oh, now I feel much better, thank you."

"You'll beat him, Dever," Draco says confidently, "Plus you'll have me and Sin to back you up just in case. Slytherins stick together."

"That would be cheating," I say.

Draco snorts at me,

"Like you would know the rules of a wizards duel."

Point.

" _He shall feel my wraith_!" Ever cackles and skips down the corridor.

I gesture at her and turn to Draco,

"See. See what you've done?"

Draco makes a face,

"I may not have thought it all the way through."

I roll my eyes and say sarcastically,

"Oh really? And it was such a brilliant plan."

We go to visit Neville in the hospital wing, despite Draco's protests.

"Don't whinge," Ever berates our friend. Draco responds by sulking for a good ten minutes. He gets over it soon enough when he realises we are ignoring him.

Neville looks surprised to see us, and a little bit perplexed.

I guess I understand why, we haven't actually spoken to Neville since the train-toad incident. Or should that be incident _s_. It's not that we've purposefully stayed away from him because he's in Gryffindor or anything stupid like that. It's just hard to stay in contact with someone outside of your own house. Hell, I've barely spoken to Harry other than to hurl insults each other since we got here. I know it's the same for Ever and Hermione. Although without the hurling insults part. Probably.

"Hey, Nev, how's your wrist?" Ever asks kindly, and she hops up to sit on the bed next to Neville.

The round faced boy blushes crimson when Ever reaches over to touch his wrist gently. I stifle my own laughter. Even Draco appears vaguely amused.

Neville stammers out,

"Uh…it's…um ok."

"Is it broken or just sprained?" I ask him.

"Sprained," Neville tells me readily, seeming glad to grasp onto something he can actually answer.

"I'm sorry about you falling off your broom, Nev," Ever says, and she makes her sad kitten face. It kills me when she does that. Makes me do her evil bidding, the wicked hag. It gets to Draco every time too, although he'd never admit that.

Neville blushes further, impossibly so, and he opens his mouth to reply….but nothing comes out. I swoop in to save the poor bugger by saying,

"Ever rescued your orby…thing."

Neville's eyes widen at that, and Ever produces the orb thingy out from her robes. She holds it out for Neville to take and he stares at it for a few very long moments. Finally Ever laughs that tinkling little fairy laugh she does that both enchants and frightens me, and she places the orb into Neville's uninjured hand.

Draco is standing by the door with his arms crossed, looking like he doesn't want to be seen with us. I call over to him,

"Come on, Drake, don't be weird."

Draco gives me the most incredulous look I've ever seen in my entire life, and he sputters,

"Me? _Me_? You want _me_ to stop being weird! Well hello pot! My name's fucking kettle!"

"Language!" Ever scolds Draco with a large grin.

"What the hell do pots and kettles have to do with anything?!" I ask, confused now.

Draco makes an exasperated sound,

"Oh, sorry, what I meant to say was that you are a bloody mental case! The idea of you telling anyone to stop being weird would be like an elephant telling a dragon to stop being so big!"

"There are dragons who speak to elephants?" Ever asks excitedly, "Do they have a communion of some kind? Or a club? Ohhh, ohhhh, do they have a slogan! Like…. _Be big, be scary, be Dragphant_!"

"You can't just combine elephant and dragon and use it as a verb," I challenge her.

Ever sniffs at me,

"Maybe _you_ can't, you non-believer."

"The dictionary would never allow such a travesty," I argue with a smirk.

Ever blurts out a laugh and points at me,

"You sound like Hermione!"

"Hello!" calls Draco in annoyance, he waves his arms at us, "Would you two stop descending into insanity for five seconds!"

Madam Honey comes over then and shouts at us all to stop being silly in the hospital wing. We say a quick goodbye to Neville before we're shoo'd out by Madam Honey.

"Come sit with us at dinner," Ever instructs Neville.

The boy tries to stammer out a protest by saying Gryffindor's aren't allowed to sit at the Slytherin tables during meal times. Ever just scoffs at this and says that he is perfectly welcome at _her_ table. We still have the whole table to ourselves, just the three of us, having Neville would hardly crowd our table.

During dinner however, another boy sits down opposite us, seemingly without a care in the world. Ever already dragged Neville over to our table, his wrist bound and wrapped.

Ever eyes the new boy warily and whispers to Draco,

"Who's that?"

Draco sighs heavily and answers,

"Blaise Zabini."

Ever then puts on her most charming smile and says to the new resident of our table,

"Hello Blaise," the dark skinned boy looks up. His eyes are a whiskey brown. He has almost the same air of 'I'm so great' as Draco, but it's far more subdued.

"You do know this is the rejects table, right?" I ask him, wanting to make sure he's prepared to be shunned like the rest of us.

The other Slytherins never mistreat us exactly, since being in Slytherin is all about house and blood loyalty, according to the prefects anyway. But they definitely don't appreciate our existence happening so close to them.

Blaise cracks a smile then and replies,

"I'm aware," his tone is laced with humour, and turns to Ever, "I suppose I should have asked you if I could sit here, since this is _your_ table."

Ever smirks and sits up a bit straighter,

"Damn right you should have. In fact there are several tasks you will need to complete to be allowed the honour of sitting at my-"

"Ever," I say in a warning tone.

Ever gives me a look, but rolls her eyes and says to Blaise,

"Fine. You will soon see that Sin is the killjoy around here."

"Seconded," Draco says, lifting his hand off the table.

"I am not a killjoy!" I feel very offended right now.

Neville looks extremely uncomfortable, and I almost want to say he can leave if he wants to. But then I realise that he's more nervous than anything. Ever is right, we should be friends with Neville, he's a nice person, and flip knows we need more nice people in our group of friends to balance out the crazy.

"He is though, if you ever want any fun murdered to death then call on Sinclair," Ever says to Blaise whilst pointing at me.

Blaise seems to stifle a laugh. He replies,

"Good to know." He slides me a glance that makes even me blush like an idiot.

I flick Ever's hair,

"You're in a very mean mood today."

Ever slides closer to me on the bench and kisses my cheek,

"Don't be a baby, you know I love you and your killjoy-like tendencies."

I make a 'hurumph' noise and mutter,

"You better."

...

"Hermione, what are you doing here?" Ever asks her sister incredulously.

Hermione glares at Harry and Ron,

"They got me locked out of Gryffindor tower!" she accuses.

Ron looks indignant and snaps,

"You've got some nerve."

"This is ridiculous," I say for about the millionth time since we left the dungeons to meet Harry and Ron in the trophy room.

Hermione gestures at me and says,

"Thank you!"

"Oh yeah, sure team up with Hermione why don't you," Harry mutters darkly at me.

"I'm not teaming up with anyone, we should all go back to bed. Someone's gonna get hurt, and it will probably be me because I'll be the one attempting to stop you and Ever from hexing each other into oblivion!" I lean against the wall, angry and tired. This is so stupid.

"Sniff around, my sweet, they might be lurking in a corner," comes a voice from not too far away. It's Filtch.

The six of us let out a massive gasp, and then we're running.

"Quick, hurry up before Mrs. Norris find us." Ever hisses quietly.

We all run through the corridors, and I lead us in through a secret passage way that Draco and I found a few days ago. It comes out near our charms class room, which is far away from the trophy room. Hopefully Mrs. Norris won't follow us here.

"I think we've lost him," Harry says, panting with exertion from running so hard.

"I - told - you!" gasps Hermione indignantly. I didn't even know it was possible to sound indignant whilst gasping for air, but Hermione manages to pull it off.

"Calm down," Ever says reasonably, she places a hand on Hermione's shoulder, "you lot just get back to your dorms."

Draco frowns at her,

"Why do you say that like you're not coming?"

"Because I'm not," Ever says, and there's a manic gleam to her eyes, "I'm going to the third floor corridor!"

"What?!" I all but yell.

"Are you insane, that's out of bounds!" Hermione shrieks.

Ever waves off our concerns,

"Yeah, but this is the perfect opportunity to check it out. I really want to know what Dumbledore is hiding up there."

Miracles of miracles, or maybe nightmares of all nightmares, Harry actually agrees with Ever. He says,

"She's right. I want to know what's up there too."

"But _why_?" I moan helplessly.

"We're curious," Ever says primly

"Nosy, more like" Hermione scoffs.

Ever elbows her sister and says,

"You are so negative, where's your sense of adventure? Aren't Gryffindors meant to love throwing themselves into danger?"

"I wanted to be in Ravenclaw," Hermione mutters, her arms crossed.

"I wanted you to be in Ravenclaw too," Ron says, and Hermione glares at him.

"Alright, alright," Harry says, using that weirdly confident voice he's had about him lately. It's extremely annoying. "Clearly we're divided on this, so, Ever and I will check out the third floor corridor, you lot can either stand watch or go back to our dorms."

"The choice is yours," Ever wiggles her eyebrows suggestively.

"This isn't actually happening, is it?" Draco whispers to me, "I mean, we're not letting Ever go off alone with Pot-your brother are we?"

I turn to Draco and ask,

"Why not? What do you think my brother will do to her?"

Draco gives me a harsh look and replies,

"They came out tonight to duel. Work it out, genius."

I mess up Draco's hair as a punishment for that one, the silky blond strands now standing up all over the place from having my fingers fuck them up.

Draco pushes me away with a shriek and we all shush him. I ignore his scowl, and attempt not to smirk quite so broadly.

"Off we go then," Ever announces as her and Harry begin wondering off towards the forbidden corridor.

"Get back here!" Hermione hisses at them, "They're idiots!" she snaps back at us.

"Yeah, well, so are we then," I say, and I follow after them, dragging Draco with me.

I look behind me to see Ron trying to come as well, but Hermione intercepts him and they start to fight. God knows that'll keep them busy for a while.

"If we get caught by Filtch then I'm going to kill you AND Dever," Draco grumbles at me.

"Excuse me, this was all your idea remember," I nudge his side.

Draco shrugs in response,

"I admit to nothing."

"And that's why you wear the green tie," I roll my eyes at my friend.

Draco shoves my arm and points at me,

"So do you!"

I roll my shoulders back and say drolly,

"Yeah, but I was tricked by the opera hat into coming over to the dark side, I'm basically Batman."

"I have no idea who that is," Draco replies with a confuzzled look on his face.

"Shocker."

"Shut up."

We catch up to Ever and Harry quickly and when we reach the third floor corridor, Ever points her wand at the lock and says "Anakas,". The lock practically explodes.

"Really? You couldn't have used a quieter spell?" Harry huffs at Ever.

She pokes her tongue out at him,

"Shut your face, Potter."

We push in through the door and let it close behind us. Ever gasps and Draco mutters,

"Fuck a duck."

"What?" I ask, turning around to see what they're looking at.

My insides freeze up with fear, but the insanity that bobbles around inside my head still has enough strength to make me point and declare,

"It's a bloody tortoise!"

Standing before us is a whopping massive three headed tortoise. One of the creatures multiple heads snaps at us, and thats when we all scream. It gets so close to Ever that Harry wraps an arm around her waist and pulls her back.

"Get out, get out, get out!" Harry yells.

I yank the door open again and we all spill out. But like fuck do we stop there. Draco practically trips over in his need to run away. I manage to catch him by grasping his hand just in time.

We run like hell away from the forbidden third floor.

Eventually we run into Ron and Hermione, who are still arguing, and their eyes widen in shock as we barrel past them. Ever grabs onto her sister's arm and yanks her along.

"Come on!" I shout.

"What the crap is going on?!" Ron complains as he runs beside Harry.

"TORTOISE!" Ever announces, "Massive tortoise!"

"What?!" Hermione screeches.

"Three...heads...it had three heads!" Draco pants, his still in mine for some reason.

"You're making this up," Hermione says scornfully.

"Are not!" Ever argues, and she wipes at her twin's hair.

"It was real," I tell Hermione and Ron, "just a massive fat off Tortoise."

"Did you see the trap door," Ever asks us.

Harry and I look at her blankly, but Draco nods,

"Yeah, where do you think it leads?"

"I have no idea," Ever shrugs, an excited flash in her eyes, "but we have to find out!"

"No...we really don't," I mumble, out of breathe and angry. Like I really needed another reason to feel uncomfortable at Hogwarts, now there's a freakin' shelled beast to worry about.

We stop outside the Gryffindor common room. It's clear that we're all exhausted.

"I shall call him Swaysy," Ever says firmly.

"Who?" Harry asks, a frown on his face.

Ever throws him a sardonic smile and says,

"The giant tortoise, obviously."

Harry narrows his eyes at her, and the emerald green of his iris' spark with annoyance,

"You...I don't like you."

Ever merely smirks triumphantly and skips over to him. There's that dangerous air about her right now that usually means she's about to do something insane. I brace myself, and so does Draco and why the frak are we still holding hands?

Harry watches Ever suspiciously. I can see Hermione rolling her eyes, obviously used to her sister's strange ways.

"Harry," Ever practically purrs.

My brother blushes in a way that I've never seen before, and despite the craziness of the night, I chuckle a little under my breathe.

"Um, Ever," Harry says, looking like he wants to run away from Ever and back to Swaysy.

Ever gets really close to Harry and places one hand over his heart. My brother swallows visibly and Draco hides his face against my shoulder so he won't ruin it by laughing.

Ever's movements are cat-like and none of us see it coming when she reaches inside Harry's robes and grabs his wand.

Harry barely has time to shout a protest when Ever dances backwards out of reach, his wand in her hand. She winks at him and says,

"Winner of the duel is whoever takes the others wand!"

Ever then proceeds to run away at a speed I did not know her capable of.

Harry stares after her, stunned. He points and says in disbelief,

"She took my wand."

I nod at my poor stupid brother,

"Yeah...yeah she did."

Draco raises his head high and laughs,

"Suck it Potter!"

I scowl at him,

"You are not helping."

Draco smirks at me,

"I'm not trying to help."

"Right well...off we go then," I say wearily.

"She will give it back...right?" Harry looks unsure, Ron just looks baffled by the whole situation. And Hermione looks exasperated. As usual.

I shrug and reply honestly,

"There might be tasks involved."

Harry scuffs his shoe against the stone floor and mutter,

"Bloody brilliant."


	5. The really weird rock: Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER. AT ALL. LIKE NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT. I PROMISE. BUT JK ROWLING DOES, SO, YAY FOR HER. ;)

** Ever's P.O.V **

"What do you think they're hiding underneath the giant three headed tortoise?" Sin asks thoughtfully.

"A sentence that out of context would get you some very weird looks, wizarding world or not," I say with a snicker.

"I think it would get you weird looks even in context," Draco comments with a roll of his eyes.

"It's either really valuable or really dangerous," Ron adds, his face scrunches up, "or both."

"Thank you captain obvious," Draco mutters under his breathe. Sin nudges him in the side.

We all agreed after our recent adventure to at least attempt to get along. Sort of. Except for Hermione who is now refusing to speak to any of us, even me, after last night. She thinks we're all bonkers. Harry and Ron are all too happy that Hermione has decided to ignore them because they are still of the opinion that she's a bossy know it all. I mean, she is, but she's my sister so whenever they say something like that I hit them with a book, or a plate, or just my wand.

I was eventually persuaded to give Harry his wand back. But not before I made him admit, out loud, that I'm the better flyer. He glared at me the whole time as he said it, but I don't care, I'm still calling it a win.

About a week later though, Harry gets sent a package full of broomstick from Professor McGonagall. But then, Professor Snape sent me a broom too.

I like to think I handled the situation with grace and decorum, as a true Slytherin should. But in truth it ended up with me calling Harry out for a flying race, which he quickly accepted when I called him a chicken. Draco is right about one thing, Gryffindor's are easy to manipulate. Especially when it comes to being called a coward. Idiots. I think Draco might be rubbing off on me a little bit. He'd be over joyed if I told him that, so I won't.

Sin protests valiantly,

"This can only end in tears."

"Kick the Gryffindor out of the air, Devin!" Draco calls excitedly.

Sin gives him a harsh look and says,

"I hope the tortoise eats you."

Draco raises an eyebrow back at him,

"Ah, yes, but with which head?"

Sin narrows his eyes,

"All of them!"

"That doesn't make sense," Draco shakes his head with a frown.

"Yes it does." Sin argues.

"No, it doesn't."

"Yes, it does."

"Does not!"

"Does too!"

I tune them out when I realise that could go on for quite some time. I take out the ADM's letter that came with the broom, and read it over again.

_Miss Granger,_

_I expect you to use this broom to win qudditch games. If I feel you are not using it sufficiently for that purpose, then the broomstick will be removed from your possession._

I don't know about anyone else, but I'm definitely feeling the love in that letter. I am clearly the ADM's favourite. After Draco maybe, who almost died of embarrassment when the ADM called him into his office to have a 'private talk'. Sin and I later found out that the ADM just wanted to know how Draco was getting on with his classes. From the way Draco told the story you'd have thought the ADM was torturing him for information.

"You're going down, Potter!" I call out to Harry.

Harry turns those bright green eyes on me and shouts back,

"Bring it on, Granger!"

On our way outside Hermione joins our group, along with Neville. Over the last week Hermione has been intent of kidnapping Neville every time we try and talk to him to stop the poor sod from being friends with any of us. She says she's protecting him from our dangerous idiocy. Rude.

"This is a stupid idea," Hermione huffs at me like a huffer on huff tablets in huff land.

"Back off, Hermione," Ron snaps in irritation.

"Hey, don't talk to my sister like that, freckles!" I thump Ron on the shoulder with the handle of my new broom.

Ron scowls at me and rubs his shoulder.

I turn to my twin and say,

"Back off, Hermione."

I hear Sin and Draco crack up laughing behind me. I also hear Ron mutter to Harry,

"How come she gets to say it?"

"Because she's _my_ twin," I say confidently, "You should know how it works freckles what with how many siblings you have been cursed with."

"So, I suppose you think getting new brooms is a reward for breaking the rules," Hermione glares at me, and then at Harry. I figure the slate was meant for both of us.

"I thought you weren't speaking to us," Harry says to Hermione.

"Yeah, don't stop now," Ron mutters, "it's been doing us all so much good."

Boy has a point.

Hermione then marches away with her head held high, like she smells something really bad and wants to get away from it. I think we're the thing that smells.

When we reach the stadium both Harry and I unwrap our brooms. I gasp at the sight of it, even though I know nothing about broomstick really, this one is still beautiful. It has a mahogany handle and perfect sleek golden twigs.

"It's beautiful," says Draco, and he runs a hand over it. I let him only because he's one of my best friends. If anyone else tries to touch my new broom, I may bite them. Just sayin'.

Sin rolls his eyes and mutters something about weirdoes drooling over a cleaning implement, and he never knew mops were so popular.

"What are you gonna call him?" Sin asks me speculatively.

Draco snorts derisively,

"It's not a pet, Sinclair, it's a-"

"A mop, yeah, I know. And a very nice mop it is too," Sin interjects with a manic smile that will drive Draco crazy, I can already tell.

"Are we having a girly chat, or are we racing?" Harry calls over to me.

I flip him the bird and climb onto...Walter! Yes, my trusty broomstick Walter!

I rise up fast into the air and lean forward so that I start off fast. I zip in and out of the big golden goal posts. The feeling is so intense and amazing that I can't keep a grin off my face. Wind rushes through my long hair and speed up a little to catch up with Harry. Even though we're meant to be racing, we end up just flying around each other. We both laugh when I accidentally do a loop in the air. Harry tries to do the same thing and we all but crash into each other. This time it's me who grabs onto him to make sure he doesn't fall to his death. I forget about everything as we fly together. I forget about why I don't like Harry. I forget about school and all the homework I have waiting for me back at my dorm. I forget about the bloody fat off tortoise with multiple, MULTIPLE, heads. Everything just fades away until all I can think about is the open air all around me. I can't remember ever feeling so free. Harry and I loop around each other and we high five as I do a little kick back flip.

Later on when we both land back on the ground, everyone is gaping at us.

"That. Was. So. Cool!" Ron is just about hyperventilating.

I accidentally smile at Harry, and Harry smiles back. Also accidentally I'm sure.

Sin ruins it though by snorting out a laugh behind his hand and looking between us pointedly. Harry's reaction is almost immediate, he blushes harshly and then says to me in that annoying arrogant tone of his that I hate,

"There's no way you'll be able to beat me when we play for real, Granger."

I poke him with Walter and sniff,

"I flew circles around you up there, and you know it."

Harry scoffs, his green eyes flashing,

"Fancy loops aren't going to win you anything. No one likes a show off."

I gasp angrily and Draco steps forward,

"Don't talk to Dever like that, Potter!"

Sin groans and grabs hold of us both. He starts pulling us away, muttering about a fight breaking out and getting banned from quiddich. I let him, but only because the urge to hex Harry into oblivion is so strong. I glare back at him though, with full force. Harry's expression falters slightly, and I see genuine regret for a single moment. But that's pushed away and the anger is back. I wasn't serious before, but now I am. I'm gonna kick his arse when Slytherin play Gryffindor!

** Sinclair's P.O.V **

I can't believe it's been two months since I arrived at Hogwarts. It feels like home now, more like home than the Dursley's house for sure. It's a good feeling, being so welcome in a place like this. I belong here, in the wizarding world, I know that now.

Our lessons have become more interesting and understandable, now that we can preform basic magic. I thought Harry and I would be terribly behind, but it seems that everyone is pretty much on the same level. Apart from Hermione who seems adept at everything. Draco does know a few more hexes and curses than the average first year, although I think that speaks more to his vicious inner nature. He can be such a meany bo beany sometimes. But then, he can be sweet too. Like when he told Theodore Knott where to shove it when he said Ever was unworthy of being the Slytherin seeker. Or like when he helped Neville with his potions essay. Or when he defended my virtue by warding off Voldebert when she tried to attack me. Blaise argued that Voldebert was just trying to give me a letter from Hagrid. Ever explained to Blaise then about the owls evil plot to destroy us all. Blaise listened intently and with genuine interest, the bloody lunatic, and then proceeded to tell us a story about a duck who tried to bite his hand off. That's another thing, Blaise has become our unofficial fourth best friend. It was going to be Neville, but Hermione has been determined not to let that happen. Plus Harry and Ron have kind of adopted him as their tag along sidekick. I'm not sure if I like the arrangement, but it's not my life. Only Neville can decide who he wants to be friends with.

I think Draco was wary of letting Blaise be our proper friend. One, because it's in his nature to be suspicious anyway. Two, because Draco never likes to share attention. He got over it though, and now he says he's glad to have a friend who actually understands pureblood whats-its and shit. It's kinda funny really, because before it was the three of us, the pureblood, the half-blood and the muggle-born. How Draco put up with being friends with two people who know basically nothing about the magical world is beyond me. But then, when I mentioned that thought to Ever, she just replied that she can't believe we put up with Draco when we first met him. To be fair, I have no idea either.

It's Halloween today, and the whole castle smells of pumpkin and sweets. Not a bad combo to wake up to in the morning.

Ever is practically ecstatic when we get to charms and Professor Flatwacks announces that we will be levitating things again. We were banned from doing it for quite a while after the Ron-ink-smurf incident. Professor Flatwack puts us into pairs. I'm with Blaise, Draco is, by some horrid turn of fate, paired with Ron. By an even more terrible turn of fate, Harry is with Ever. I don't know which one of them is more pissed off about that fact. Neville is put with Hermione, and he seems both relieved and worried at the same time.

"Now, don't forget those nice wrist movements we've been practicing," Professor Flatwack reminds us excitedly, "Swish and flick, remember, swish and flick. And saying the magic words properly is very important, too - never forget Wizard Baruffio, who said 's' instead of 'f' and found himself on the floor with a buffalo on his chest."

Why are we talking about buffalo's? How did we get from wrist flicking to death by buffalo? Ever and I exchange a look that clearly states that she's thinking the same thing.

As usual in charms, Ever succeeds easily. Her feather rises gently into the air, high above all our heads. Even Harry looks impressed, although he tries not to. I turn away when they lean in to whisper to each other, obviously Harry's asking Ever for help. But if he catches me looking he'll probably flip out again like an idiot so I leave them be. A few moments later Harry has his feather reluctantly rising off the table.

I struggle with charms to be honest, I'm a lot better at transfiguration, but Blaise takes my wrist and moves it in the right way. Soon after I get my feather to rise along side his. Draco and Ron are growling at each other, and I hold in a sigh. This could turn ugly.

"What do you want to bet that Weasley snaps first?" Blaise says under his breathe.

I try to hold in a snicker, Ron's face is blood red, and Draco only appears slightly ruffled. But they are definitely sniping at each other.

"Ron's probably saying something about Draco being a prat, and Draco is saying something about Weasley being poor," I shake my head in exasperation and Blaise laughs.

"Wingardium Leviosa!" Ron practically shouts and he aims his wand at the feather dramatically.

Nothing happens and Ron slumps in his seat.

Hermione groans in annoyance and snaps at him,

"You're saying it wrong. It's Win-gar-dium, Levi-o-sa, make the 'gar' nice and long."

"Yeah, freckles, 'GAR'! Come on, put some oomph into it God damn it!" Ever calls, shaking her hand in a fist.

Hermione rolls her eyes at her twin,

"Would you stop being stupid," she snips.

Ever waggles her eyebrows and replies,

"Um, nope."

Ron looks embarrassed and pissy, not a good combination for any Gryffindor, let alone Ron Weasley.

After class we all pile out together. Ever and Harry are being civil for once, and Draco is too busy discussing something with Blaise to mock Ron. A mercy if ever there was one. Ron is still pissed though and he gripes,

"Hermione's a nightmare, no wonder no one likes her," he gestures at Ever, "at least people actually like Ever, she's not a know it all."

I wince when Ever glares at Ron, although it's Harry who says,

"Ron, come on mate, Hermione's not that bad."

Ever looks so surprised to hear Harry defend her sister that she's momentarily distracted from ripping Ron a new one.

Hermione storms past us at that point, her eyes clearly glistening.

"I think she heard that," I say sympathetically.

Ever goes running after her sister, with one last glare at Ron, who now looks a little sheepish.

At the Halloween feast Harry tells us that Hermione didn't show up for any classes, and when Ever comes in she informs us in an upset voice that Hermione is crying in the girl's loo. We all sit around looking uncomfortable for a while.

Right up until Professor Squrriel comes jogging into the hall, a look of terror on his face. We all gape as Professor Squirrel slumps over near Dumbledore and gasps,

"Troll...Troll in the dungeons! Troll in the...just thought you'd ought to know." And then he faints. Perfect.

I'm kinda hoping this is a dinner special Halloween show.

But from the way everyone starts screaming and running around I'm guessing not. Dumbledore sets off some very colourful, and very loud, fireworks to get everyone to shut up.

"Prefects," he announces, "lead your houses back to the dormitories immediately!"

Oh, yeah, sure, take the bloody Slytherins back to the Dungeons where the troll is.

"Do you think this is Dumblebumbles way of offing the evil villain house?" Ever whispers to me. I shrug in response.

"Probably. We are heinously evil."

"Do you have any Haribo?" Ever asks, eyebrows raised.

I nod and hand her some from my robe pocket. Ever pops them in her mouth and smiles wickedly.

Draco, having obviously heard our conversation, says dryly,

"Oh, yes, so very evil."

Ever gasps suddenly and grasps my arm,

"Hermione! She's still in the toilets!"

"What?" Harry leans in, his eyes wide, "We have to go get her!"

Ron and Draco say at the same time,

"Why?" then they glare at each other mutinously.

"Come on!" I say, Harry and Ever have already run off together.

I yank on Draco's arm, and he grumbles once before willingly coming with me. We chase after my brother and Ever. Luckily, with all the chaos, we manage to slip out unseen.

We catch up with them quickly and rush down a deserted corridor, heading towards the girls bathroom. But as we turn a corner we all crash into each other when Ever back peddles.

"Shit, the ADM," she hisses at us.

We flatten ourselves against the wall and watch as the ADM crosses the corridor and disappears from view. I frown to myself, why is the ADM not with the other teachers?

Harry leads us along as we follow the ADM for a bit.

"He's heading for the third floor." Harry comments quietly.

I turn to Draco, a question in my eyes. If anyone would know what the ADM is up to then that's Draco. But he just shakes his head and says,

"No idea."

Right. Weird.

"Woah, what is that smell?" Ever crinkles her nose up in distaste.

I sniff the air and almost gag, the scent of mouldy socks and piss wafts through the air like a warning. A bloody foul one.

When a hulking great creature comes stomping around the corner, I almost swallow my own tongue. The troll looks like it's made of solid rock, and it carries a wooden club that drags across the floor.

"Son of a biscuit tin on a shelf in bloody hell!" Ever gasps, her eyes seeming almost comically wide, like a cartoon bunny.

The creature ducks into a room and out of sight. I almost feel relieved, right up until Ever says in horror,

"That's the girls bathroom." A moment later we hear a loud scream coming from inside. Hermione. Crap!

Ever surges forward and we all follow after her, although why one of us isn't going to get a teacher is beyond me. Too much adrenaline and stupidity most likely.

Hermione is curled up in a ball in the corner, still screaming, when we get inside the bathroom.

"We need a teacher!" Draco announces, a panic stricken look on his face.

I watch as the troll advances on Hermione.

"Then go get one," I say to Draco distractedly.

Draco huffs at me,

"I'm not leaving you and Dever here alone with only Harry bloody Potter the one scar wonder around to save you."

I almost, despite the terror of the situation, burst out laughing at the serious expression on Draco's face mixed with those ridiculous words. Hold on...

"Who says we'd need saving?"

Draco gives me a 'come on' look,

"Well ok, maybe not Ever, she can hold her own against pretty much anything just by confusing it to death with all her mental chatter. But...you have the damsel in distress thing going on," he waves up and down the length of my body.

I narrow my eyes at him,

"No...no I don't...shut your face!"

Draco looks ever so slightly amused now,

"Yeah you do. Like, Harry is the idiot hero twin, and you're the damsel who runs away from the Dragon and hides in the tower."

I almost box his ears, the annoying sod.

"What does that make you then?" I ask, now completely uncaring that a troll is standing about five foot away from me.

Before Draco can respond, I hear Harry shout,

"Confuse it!" I watch in stunned surprise as my stupid brother picks up a broken tap off the floor and chucks it at the trolls' head.

Ever throws herself in front of the troll and grabs hold of her sister. The troll forgets all about Hermione and turns around with a loud thunk thunk. God damn it Harry!

The troll's meany bo beany looking eyes squint in rage at Harry and he raises his club, clearly about to smash my brother to pieces. I sigh heavily and move to fufill my brotherly suicide duty.

"Hey, oh mighty rock-like one, look at me. I'm a much more smashable human!" I take out my wand and aim it at the troll. "Flamma ignis!" I shout, and I must be the luckiest boy alive, because the spell actually works.

Red sparks of fire shoot out of my wand and hit the troll in the eye. Yes! Draco taught me that one, but it's never worked for me before.

The troll gives out a bellowing yelp and blood comes gushing out of his eyes where the fire signed it.

"Hell yeah, fire to the face!" Ever calls with a joyous 'whoop whoop'.

Ever drags an almost hysterical Hermione over to us, and I grab hold of Harry, yanking him away from the troll.

But before Ever can get to us, the troll roars angrily and swipes at her with his club. He manages to catch the edge of her hip and she goes flying across the room. Hermione falls to floor and yells her sister's name. I run toward Ever as she attempts to get to her feet. There's a cut on her head, and blood leaks down over her face. Harry reaches Ever's side first however and he steadies her as she leans against him. I go to help Hermione to her feet and we try to move toward Draco and the door again. But the troll is having none of it, and he takes another swing at us.

It's then that Draco proves himself highly capable of shocking the shit out of me, when he takes a running jump at the troll and lands on his back. The troll grumbles loudly and swings around. Draco yells and takes out his wand. God knows what he plans to do with it.

"DRACO! USE THE _GAR_!" Ever shouts, her voice surprisingly strong despite the blow to her head.

"The club, Draco, go for the effing club!" I call out, fear for Draco gripping my heart like a vice.

Draco aims his wand at the club and yells over all the chaos,

"Wingardium Leviosa!"

The club flies out of the troll's hand and rises up into the air above him. Just as suddenly Draco pulls his wand away and the club falls. It hits the troll's head with a sickening crack. The troll sways for a few moments and then falls flat on his face, causing the whole bathroom to shudder.

Draco gets to his feet and brushes off his robes, a disgusted look on his face. He points at me and says,

"THAT, is who I am. The idiot who attacks a troll to save your stupid arse."

I grin at him and he rolls his eyes in response. But he looks a little pleased with himself too.

"You alright?" I ask him, concerned.

Draco glares down at the troll and sniffs haughtily,

"I'm fine," he says.

"Is it...dead?" Hermione asks, her voice trembling.

"I thinks it's just unconscious," Harry says, peering at the troll whilst still holding a firm grip on Ever. I almost make some kind of joke about the way they're clutching onto each other, but I decide that one of them would murder me for it later.

Suddenly there's some loud slapping of footsteps coming towards the bathroom and we all look over at the door. Jesus, we must have been making one hell of a loud noise in here, no wonder they came running.

Professor Mcgoggles comes striding into the room, the ADM close behind, with Professor Squirrel bringing up the rear.

Professor Squirrel almost seems to faint again at the sight of the troll. The ADM takes in the scene with one sweep of his eyes, and he raises one eyebrow at Draco. Draco gives the ADM a tight smile and nods. The ADM nods back stiffly and then moves to lean over the troll with slight interest.

Professor Mcgoggles looks pissed. Like majorly.

"What on earth were you all thinking of?" she demands furiously, "You could have been killed..oh...and miss Granger," Professor Mcgoggles looks horrified at Ever who still has blood dripping from her face.

The ADM looks up sharply at Ever suddenly and stalks towards her. Harry's expression turns into a scowl and he shifts Ever just a little bit behind him. I fight the urge to laugh.

"Move aside Mr. Potter," the ADM snaps at Harry, "I need to see how serious that cut is, she may need a stronger healing potion than what we have in the infirmary."

Harry reluctantly does as he's told when Ever whispers something in his ear. As the ADM checks Ever over, I say to Professor Mcgoggles,

"We came in here to-"

"Please, it was my fault," Hermione interjects, "they all came in here to help me. I thought...well I thought I could fight off the troll all by myself. If this lot hadn't come in...I'd probably be dead."

I frown at her, why is she lying?

Professor Mcgoggles looks confused and surprised,

"Oh...in that case...Miss Granger, you foolish girl, even thinking of taking on a troll by yourself is extremely irresponsible. That will be fifteen point from Gryffindor."

Is this really a situation where house points are relevant? Apparently so.

"Now, off the rest of you go to your dorms if you aren't injured," Professor Mcgoggles orders sternly.

Hermione gives her sister one last apologetic look and then scrambles out of the bathroom.

Draco and I hover near Ever until the ADM says,

"Off you both go. Miss Granger will join you later."

I still don't want to leave her, but Ever winks at us and says,

"No worries, it'd take more than a troll swat to the head to take me out."

"You too, Mr. Potter," Professor Mcgoggles says to Harry.

My brother's jaw tightens a little, but he nods and follows Draco and me out of the bathroom.

Well, at least one good thing came out of that whole fiasco. Hermione Granger is now officially our friend. Gryffindors and Slytherins united! How long do you think that'll last? Yeah...I give it a week.


	6. The really weird rock: Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER. AT ALL. LIKE NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT. I PROMISE. BUT JK ROWLING DOES, SO, YAY FOR HER. ;)

**Ever's P.O.V**

This winter is turning out to be a very cold one, my nose feels like it might drop off at any moment. Draco and Sin won't stop being complainy pants' about it, which makes it harder for me to ignore how freezing it is. The mountains are snowy almost, and the lake has frozen over. I would suggest having a little amble across it, if I wasn't afraid that Ariel the zombie would smash through the ice and eat my toes.

On Saturday I'll be playing in my first official game, after weeks and weeks of training. It's Gryffindor Vs Slytherin and I can't wait to kick Harry's arse out there. I will destroy him! Mwah ha ha ha! Cue pre-victory dance!

"Why is she dancing?" Draco asks Sin, he watches me with mild confusion. By this point in our friendship I don't think there's anything I could do that would truly shock Draco. A shame that, really, but I suppose there's always Ron. I haven't unleashed my full mental state on him yet. That should be fun.

Sin shrugs at Draco's question without looking at me, and says,

"Probably some kind of warm up for Saturday's mop race."

Uh oh, that does it.

Draco narrows his eyes at Sin,

"For the last time, they aren't mops, they're brooms! And it isn't a race!"

Sin waves a hand uncaringly,

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Brooms, mops, dishcloths, toilet brushes, I don't mind which sport you want to play."

Draco looks about as close to screeching as someone with his upbringing can, and he pokes Sin in the chest,

"You...your face... _bothers_ me."

Sin turns a manic smile on Draco, and I attempt to hide my own smirk behind my hand. Sinclair reaches out and strokes Draco's hair slowly, mockingly, and says,

"I like your hair today, it's shiny like the sun."

Draco grits his teeth noticeably.

"Stop touching me!" he snarls.

Sin lifts his hand so it's only about an inch away from touching Draco.

"I'm not touching you."

"Yes you are," Draco turns to me in exasperation, his silver eyes asking for help, "He's touching me."

Sin shakes his head and says again, even more maddeningly calmly,

"I'm not touching you."

He's technically not touching him.

Draco pouts like a pissy three year old and says to Sin,

"I don't like you."

"Lies!" both Sin and I declare at the same time.

A stiff breeze blows through and we all shiver as one. I take out my wand and say,

"Cover me, boys, I'm gonna start us a fire bubble."

Draco and Sin exchange a wary glance, but do as they're told. We're outside in the courtyard freezing our buttons off. But its better than being inside, because Garfield's lover, Filtch, caught us enchanting his buckets to sing whenever they're filled with water. He chased us for a good half an hour before we managed to duck into the safety of a classroom.

I take out my wand and whisper a spell I found in one of the old library charm books.

" _Hyacintho bulla_." A blue bubble slowly morphs out of my wand and immediately begins to burn. The big orb ripples with flickering flames.

I feel the heat hit me, and I exhale loudly. Draco and Sin turn around when I tap their shoulders, and we all bask in the warmth for a while. That is until Sinclair hisses,

"Quick, the ADM is approaching!"

I mutter the counter charm and the blue bubble of fire fizzles away almost instantly. I look over at the ADM as he limps across the courtyard. When he spots us he comes over, his expression bland as usual. He all but sneers at Sinclair, although not quite as fiercely as he did at the beginning of the year. Sin has proved a fast study in potions, with Draco's help of course. He makes sure he knows all the answers so the ADM can't catch him out. Or at least not easily.

"Mr. Malfoy, I should hope these rumours I've been hearing about singing buckets has nothing to do with you," the ADM says dryly, his dark eyes on Draco.

Draco shuffles a little, but his expression reveals nothing but disinterest,

"Of course not Godfa-Professor Snape, sir."

The ADM watches Draco for a good long moment, before nodding once and saying,

"Good." He looks over at me then, his voice a bit snappier when he asks, "How are things looking for Saturday's game, Miss Granger? I trust you've been practicing hard with your...gift."

I nod vigorously, not wanting him to think I'm ungrateful or anything.

"Yeah, of course, there's no way Gryffindor will beat us."

"I should think not," the ADM says archly. He gives us all one last intimidating stare, and then limps off again.

I wonder what happened to his leg.

"Do you know how he hurt his leg, Zaco?" I ask. If anyone would know, then that's Draco.

But Draco just makes a face and replies,

"I have no idea. It's not like we have girly chats about our lives all the time, you know. He just checks up on me sometimes to appease my mother."

Sin laughs and bumps his shoulder against Draco's.

"Thank you for giving me the image of you and the ADM having a girly chat. I see pearls and tea parties."

"You'll see my fist in your face soon if you don't shut up," Draco warns, and he bumps Sin back.

Sin pokes his tongue out at Draco. I roll my eyes at them. They tease each other all the time, but I know they've grown rather close. I'd feel like the third wheel if I didn't know that without me they'd have killed each other by now.

On our way back to the Slytherin common room later that day, we get accosted by Harry, Ron and Hermione. They man handle us into a deserted corner with promises of important news.

"Well, what is it?" Sin asks his brother impatiently.

Harry's eyes skate over me, and I avoid his gaze. Ever since the troll incident, we've all been trying to get along as much as possible. It's weird though, Harry and I still find it hard to be around each other and not argue. Something about Harry just pushes my buttons and makes me want to do violent things to him. I swear he does it on purpose.

Harry starts to explain,

"I accidentally walked in on Snape and Filch-"

"Oh no!" I hold up a hand to stop him, "I do not need to know what the ADM and Garfields lover do in their personal time together, thank you very much. I don't want nightmares."

Sin, Draco and Ron all snicker, whilst Hermione and Harry give me a dirty look.

"Don't be silly," Hermione says, and she reaches over to shove at my arm.

I slap her hand away,

"Alright, alright, there's no need to attack me dorkzilla!"

"I am not a dork!" Hermione glares at me.

"Can we please get back to the story," Harry says, sounding irritated.

Good.

Sin gestures at his brother to continue and we all shut up to listen.

"Right," Harry says, "Well Snape got bit by the three headed tortoise. He talked about it with Filch."

What? What does that even mean?

"You know what this means?" Harry adds breathlessly. "He tried to get past that three-headed tortoise at Halloween! That's where he was going when we saw him - he's after whatever it's guarding! And I'd bet my broomstick he let that troll in, to make a diversion!"

"No," Draco says firmly, "he wouldn't do that."

Ron snorts derisively,

"Well you would think that, Malfoy."

"Shut it, Weasley. Professor Snape didn't let in that troll and he isn't trying to get whatever that three headed tortoise is hiding," Draco sounds so sure and confident that I can't help but believe him.

I meet Sinclair's eyes and we share a moment of understanding. Draco is our friend, and we trust him, if he says the ADM didn't do it then he didn't do it.

Hermione shrugs her shoulders and says,

"I didn't want to think so either, but...maybe Professor Snape-"

"No," Sinclair snaps angrily, "You heard Draco, he isn't trying to get whatever it is the tortoise is hiding."

"Yeah," I add, "Maybe someone **is** trying to take it, and the ADM just wants to protect whatever it is."

Draco smiles at both me and Sinclair gratefully.

Harry and I lock eyes then and have another one of our famous staring contests.

Eventually Harry admits defeat and rolls his eyes,

"Fine then. But if Snape isn't the one trying to take whatever it is, then who?"

Ah, he has me there.

"More importantly," Sin says, "What's the tortoise hiding? It must be powerful to need such protection."

Right, well, that's mystery one to figure out.

"Maybe it's another magic singing hat," I suggest, "Those things can't be easy to find."

"Yeah, but they already have one," Sin says thoughtfully, "It would need to be more like a...yodelling scarf or something."

Harry asks far too seriously,

"Why would a scarf yodel?"

"Why would a hat sing?" Ron mutters, his nose scrunched up like a pug.

"Because he's a fabulous singer and deserves recognition," I say. Well obviously.

"I heard he wants to be an opera star," Sin tells us.

"Hats can have dreams too." Draco says. I think I've broken him.

"Would you all stop being ridiculous!" Hermione admonishes with a sigh.

I ignore her, it's easier that way,

"Possibly, we might be looking at it all wrong. It could be evil. Maybe the dog isn't protecting the thing-"

"The tortoise could be protecting us _from_ the thing!" Harry finishes, nodding along with the idea enthusiastically.

I point at him,

"Exactly! We could have an evil object on our hands!"

"For acts of evilness!" Sinclair adds excitedly.

Draco looks between us warily,

"Please God don't let these two get their hands on it. The world should never know such madness."

Sinclair places his hand hovering over Draco's hair again and Draco shouts,

"STOP TOUCHING ME!"

"I'M NOT TOUCHING YOU!" Sin yells back, sounding ecstatically happy for no good reason. That annoys Draco more than anything.

I wrap my arms around Draco and yank him into a full blown hug. He hisses at me like a kitty. Sin hugs us both from the other side, leaving Draco squished in the middle. Sin and I laugh as Draco threatens us with bodily harm.

Harry, Hermione and Ron are staring at us in disbelief.

"We...will never do that," Hermione says to the other two boys seriously.

Ron and Harry just nod silently.

** Sinclair's P.O.V **

"Come on, or we'll miss the start!" Draco grabs hold of my hand and tries to drag me faster towards the Quddich arena.

I pull back and slow my pace,

"Nah, we won't miss the bloody mop race. Calm down. Besides, I'm only going to support Ever. My brother needs a good knock off his broom."

"Do you think she'll win?" Draco asks, turning to face me as we walk through the grounds.

The truth is, we are a bit late. Or at least not as early as everyone else. The grounds are deserted, everyone is over at the Quddich area thingy already.

"I think so, she's got fire," Blaise says. He's ambling along at the same speed as me. We have similar opinions on Qudditch. He thinks it's stupid too. "If she does lose then I'd hate to see what she does to Harry in retaliation," Blaise adds with a smirk.

Yeah, Ever would probably clobber him.

"Qudditch is ridiculous," I say suddenly, "Come one, Draco, you know it is."

"Agreed," Blaise says, raising his hand.

Draco rolls his eyes at us,

"What kind of wizards are you?"

"The kind that do magic," Blaise says without missing a beat.

I sling an arm around his shoulder,

"B makes a good point."

Blaise does the same to me and we try to walk in tandem with each other.

"That's awfully trusting of you Blaise," Draco says, laughter in his voice, "You know Sin can barely keep himself from fucking over most of the time."

I grab onto Draco and force him to join us.

"We can do this team! Slytherin power!" I say with more confidence than I feel.

Predictably, it ends badly after a few steps and we stumble, all three of us falling over into a heap on the floor.

Draco removes himself and rolls over on the grass. Blaise and I are still laughing hysterically, sounding more like hyenas than children.

"I sometimes worry for your life, Sinclair," Draco says, "Clutsy doesn't even begin to describe you,"

I roll over and land with a thump next to Draco. Blaise moves himself so he's laying down on my other side. We all look up at the clouds. It's a clear day, and although it isn't warm by any means, the sun is out.

"I thought both of your pureblood gracefulness would cancel out my clumsiness," I say with a shrug.

"Apparently not," Blaise says drolly.

"We could teach you how to be a proper pureblood," Draco says, and he pokes me in the side. It tickles and I wriggle away.

I scoff loudly,

"Nah, it's too late for me. I'm already too much of a peasant."

"True," Draco says with a sigh.

I hit his stomach,

"Hey, you aren't meant to agree, you posh twat."

Draco laughs and hits me back,

"You said it first you lowly pauper."

We then get into a slapping war that lasts until we both have bruises. Blaise extracts himself from the situation by shuffling away from us.

"Can we please stop the violence?" Blaise says mock pleadingly, "I don't want to have to explain why one of you is dead."

"That would be one way to bind a friendship," I say.

"What?" Blaise peers over at me on confusion.

I grin,

"With a dark secret."

"Of murder?" Blaise asks, looking amused now.

I twiddle a bit of grass between my fingers,

"Good friends murder together, that's all I'm saying."

"I knew there was a reason why I liked you," Blaise says.

Draco takes the bit of grass from me and flicks it back into my face. I grab his wrist and half wrestle him to the ground. I get him pinned and Draco laughs.

"Come on, you two idiots, we're going to miss the game, and Ever will eat us if we don't see her win." Blaise gets to his feet and brushes the grass away.

I help Draco stand up and he complains about grass in his hair. My own hair is probably springing all over the place now like Harry's does all the time. Give me some glasses and no one would know the difference. Apart from maybe Ever, who once said that I walk with more of a swishy pirate quality than my brother. I'm not sure what to make of that.

We start walking again, a bit faster now.

I see the birds first.

"What the hell?" Blaise breathes harshly.

A massive swarm of crows is flying towards us. I don't know how I know, but I'm sure they're literally coming for us. For me.

"They're enchanted! It's a spell!" Draco announces, "You can tell from that edge of green magic around their wings."

There must be at least a hundred of them, maybe more, flying together and shooting towards us like an arrow. The noise they're making is almost defeaning.

"We need to get to the teachers," Blaise says fearfully.

I shake my head,

"We won't reach them in time, besides, the birds will attack everyone." I think.

"Then bloody leg it back to the castle!" Draco tugs on my robes.

Don't need to tell me twice.

The three of us start running back towards Hogwarts, but I'm afraid we won't be fast enough. The sounds of the birds crowing are getting louder and louder.

I risk a glance over my shoulder,

"They're coming!" I shout, and I force myself to speed up. All those times I had to run away from Dudley and his mates is finally paying off.

Or maybe not.

I feel a harsh peck at my ear, and I hiss in pain. I bat the crow away, but the heat of fresh blood trickles down over my cheek.

"Sinclair!" Draco gasps. He takes my hand and tries to pull me into running faster.

Another bird pecks at my neck and this time it really fucking hurts. More pecks join that one at my arms, my head, my neck, basically anywhere they can reach. Crows claws scratch over my face and I have to force myself to keep moving forward.

Blaise and Draco try to smack the crows away from me, because by this point it's pretty obvious that the birds are focusing all their attention on me for whatever reason.

When I trip and fall, a coil of fear and dread rises up inside of me. These birds could bloody kill me. Draco and Blaise keep trying to distract the birds away from me, whilst also attempting to yanks me to my feet.

You wouldn't think a peck could hurt so bad, but I cover my face as best I can to avoid more mutilation of my flesh. A scream threatens to come bursting out my throat, but I hold it down.

Draco is the first to take out his wand and fire a curse at the birds. I remove my arms from my face long enough to see that curse bounce uselessly off of the swarm of crows. When Blaise tries another spell, the green magic surrounding them sparks, but the birds are still unaffected.

Whoever enchanted these birds obviously meant business. That rules out childish prank at least. Now someone's just trying to kill me for real. Goodie. Don't I feel special?

"Sinclair!" Draco all but screams, his voice high and full of fear. But there's anger too. Fury even. I see it in his silver eyes, despite the crows attacking me from all sides. His eyes burn like molten metal as he continues to hurl curses at the birds.

That fierceness renews something in me, some hidden strength I never knew existed. It unfurls in my stomach and flows up through my body.

I scramble around, struggling to pull out my wand whilst having a face full of fucking bird. When I finally manage to get my hands on it after what feels like an eternity, I raise my arm and aim my wand towards the very centre of the swarm.

I use my newfound strength to propel as much magic into the spell as possible when I shout,

" _Solvite pulverem_!"

A stream of blue light comes bursting out of my wand and attacks the swarm. Only a moment later that stream of blueness turns into a tidal wave of magic. The crows scream in what I can only hope is agony as each one of them is turned to dust by my magic. Even the ones too close to have been touched by the wave explode around me. Maybe they were all linked somehow.

When shit is done exploding I flop down onto my back and throw an around over my eyes. I take in a few deep breathes and attempt not to have a panic attack of epic proportions.

See. Birds...EVIL! Voldebert probably put them up to it, that fluffy bitch.

Draco is suddenly at my side, his expression one of worry and awe.

"Are you alright, Sin? How did you do that?" Without waiting for an answer to either question, Draco hauls me into an embrace.

"I'm fine, Drake. Just...a bit pecked to death."

I wince when Draco touches a particularly nasty cut on my head.

"Crap, Sin, we need to get you to the infimiry!" Draco announces. He tries to pull me up, and I let him. My mind is still a little dazed.

"Where's Blaise?" I ask as Draco wraps an arm around my waist, presumably to help me walk.

"He went to tell the teachers," Draco gestures towards the arena in the distance.

"I was just attacked by birds," I say pointlessly.

Draco shudders against me and nods,

"Yeah, I was there. I saw."

I hold onto Draco as we make our way back up towards the school. We don't speak. There's too much to say, and my brain has turned to mush after that spell.

I try to turn back when I hear loud screaming coming from the direction of the Quidditch arena, but Draco won't let me.

" _Harry_ ," I say. What if someone tries to attack him too? We do have a track record of being attacked by crazy wizards at the same time. We even have the scars to prove it.

"He'll be fine. Potter has about a bazillion people watching over him right now, it's you who needs looking after. Now come on or I'll be forced to do something dramatic, like pick you up."

"Malfoy's don't pick people up," I just about manage to tease him.

Draco shrugs and replies,

"You're not people, Sin. You're my friend."

A warmth grows inside me, and I allow Draco to drag me along to the infirmary.


	7. The really weird rock: Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER. AT ALL. LIKE NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT. I PROMISE. BUT JK ROWLING DOES, SO, YAY FOR HER. ;)

** Ever's P.O.V **

It's getting close to Christmas now and Hogwarts is surrounded by the white fluffy sky vomit. I said that to Draco whilst he was eating some scrambled eggs and he literally threw the spoon down onto the table and closed his eyes, as if praying for patience. I don't know what he has to complain about, at least his parents want him to come home over Christmas break. Draco's also managed to convince Sinclair to go to Malfoy Manor for Christmas with him. Harry was adamantly against the idea on the basis that the Malfoy's are evil gits who might eat his brother, but I think secretly he just wants Sinclair around because he's the only real family Harry's got. I felt for him because of that, and finally forgave him for ruining the first Qudditch match by being attacked.

That game was complete madness. Harry's broom was practically bucking him off. His team were useless, so I had to go and save him. Although, that ended up with both Harry and me plummeting towards the ground. On the plus side, we caught the snitch. On the not so plus side, Harry practically ate it. I'm sure that should be a foul of some sort. No eating the snitch. Yeah, that sounds like a plausible rule.

We found out later that Sinclair was attacked by birds, therefore gaining him unquestionable proof that birds are indeed evil. Draco didn't even interrupt when Sin ranted for a full hour about bird savagery and crow delinquents running amuck. Harry tried to complain from the bed next to Sin's, but I threw a pillow at his face to silence him. Sin laughed so hard that he almost fell right off the hospital bed. I received a scolding from Hermione for getting involved when it became obvious someone was messing with Harry's broom. Everyone else got chastised by her for something or other, so no one felt left out.

It pisses me off that someone is trying to hurt my friend. And Harry. It also worries me that no one else seems to care all that much about it. Our teachers practically laughed the situation off. Although there was no actual laughter involved of course. Teachers don't laugh. It's against the rules.

Actually, the only professor who appeared bothered by the attack on Sinclair was, surprisingly, the ADM. He was quite interested in how Sinclair managed to fight off the crow horde. Sin was very cagey about it with the ADM and all the other teachers. He told me, Harry, Ron and Hermione the truth though, obviously. Part of me wishes I'd been there to see Sin use that spell. Draco said it was amazing. And scary too.

Hermione and I are staying at Hogwarts for Christmas. When Professor Mcgoggles came around with the sign up sheet I wrote both our names of it as fast as I could. The last thing I want to do after all this excitement is go back to our crappy flat. We don't really celebrate Christmas anymore. Mum gets even more drunk than usual and I have to distract Hermione so she won't cry about the state of shitty homelife. Oh the joys of Christmas.

Last year Ms Sock invited us over and we baked Christmas cookies. She let us put up and decorate her really small silver tree as well. Ms Sock even got us a present each. Hermione received an old bound copy of classic fairy tales, and I was gifted with a leather diary, with an actual key lock on it. Ms Sock whispered to me that it was for all my secrets. I told her I didn't have any secrets. She just smiled crookedly and replied 'you will'.

"Who is Nicolas bloody flamel then?" I mutter finally. We've been searching in the library for weeks trying to find out ever since Hagrid let the name slip after the Quidditch game of deadly kaplunk.

We're all sitting around a table in library. Hermione has piles of books stacked up on either side of her. The rest of us only have one each. I decided to let Hermione be her usual bossy pants self and dictate what books we look at. She's in her effing element right now. Even if we find Nicolas Flammel I'm tempted to not tell her so she can continue happily researching for the hell of it. I'm a good sister like that.

Ron gets up then and starts grabbing books randomly from shelves. Hermione gets pissy with him for not following her system and the two of them begin yet another argument.

I turn away and ignore them. It's safest for everyone that way.

Draco and Sinclair are discussing their plans for Christmas break. Well, actually, it's more like Draco telling Sinclair what they'll be doing and all the things he wants to show him. Sinclair appears all too happy to humour Draco and let him talk endlessly about things I know he doesn't understand the half of.

Harry tugs me over near the restricted section and says,

"I bet all the stuff about Nicolas Flammel is in one of those books."

He's probably right. But the restricted section is...well...restricted. Unless you're a seventh year studying dark arts, or if you have a note from a teacher. Not like we're gonna get one of those any time soon. I could ask the ADM, but I don't think I'd want to risk my life that way.

"You wanna try and sneak one?" I whisper back to him.

Harry smiles a little at me,

"I think we should."

But just as Harry and I are about to start our mission impossible moment, Madam Pants comes stalking around the corner and fixes us both with a very unsavoury look of death.

"What are you two looking for?" she snaps, and I can tell she wants to call us 'brats' or something. It's all in the tone.

"Nothing," Harry says at the same time I say,

"History of the Unicorn bandits."

Harry slides me a 'what the fudge' glance, and I shrug in response.

Madam Pants becomes an enraged guinea pig, not literally, and brandishes a long feather at us. I feel threatened. That thing could make me sneeze or something equally terrible.

"You better get out then-go on, out!"

Harry and I practically crash into each other as we escape back to our table. Ron and Hermione have stopped arguing and are now pointedly not looking at each other. Thank Satan for that, or I might have had to throw a thesaurus at them. There is such a thing as a magical thesaurus. It can talk and answer questions if you pet it. Weird. Majorly, weird.

"What were you two cuddling and whispering about over there?" Sinclair asks with a smirk at his brother.

Harry blushes fiercely and we practically spring away from each other. It's almost impressive.

I glare at Sin and say,

"We weren't cuddling. I do not cuddle. _Unicorns_ do not cuddle."

Harry gestures at me,

"What she said. Unicorns don't cuddle. They don't play that shit."

Draco snorts out a laugh behind his book and I throw a casual death look his way. He just waves back at me, smiling innocently. Damn, I have created a monster.

...

When the holidays actually began, we let Flammel slip from our minds a bit. This is the first time in years when I haven't dreaded Christmas. It's a good feeling.

Blaise is staying at Hogwarts for the break as well because his mother is visiting relatives in France. I didn't understand why his mum going to visit relatives stopped him from going with her. Blaise just told me that he's glad he's not going, as his French relatives are uptight crazy strict Purebloods. The kind of people who would probably see me as dirt on their shoe.

Blaise and I pretty much have the dormitory to ourselves, and we make the most of it by piling pillows down on the floor in front of the fire. I love being in Slytherin, but the chairs in our dorm are horribly uncomfortable.

Blaise's mother sent him all kinds of sweets and cakes for Christmas. We lie on our stomach's amongst our pillow fort devouring the tasty treats.

"How about your home? Why didn't you go back?" Blaise asks me, whilst licking some icing off his finger from a particularly big cupcake.

I make a face, and try not to sound defensive when I say,

"We don't really celebrate Christmas in my house."

Blaise frowns thoughtfully and asks,

"Is that a muggle thing?"

"Is what a muggle thing?" I play dumb.

Blaise watches me, seeming amused for some reason.

"Is it a muggle thing to not celebrate Christmas?"

I shake my head slowly,

"No, it's not. Lots of muggles celebrate Christmas."

"But not your family," Blaise adds.

I grit my teeth,

"No. Not mine."

"Why?" Blaise asks curiously.

"We...can't...really...afford it." I admit. It's not the full truth, but that's definitely part of it.

Blaise stares at me blankly, as if he can't even fathom the idea of not being able to afford something. I'm all ready to go strike back if Blaise says anything mean, but he surprises me by saying,

"That's sad, but we can celebrate Christmas here. I got you a gift."

I bite my lip self consciously,

"You didn't have to do that. I can't exactly...give...um..."

"I was thinking you could teach me how to do that loopy loop thing on our brooms." Blaise says unaffectedly.

I frown, not understanding at first, but then it clicks. He's saying that me teaching him some flying skills could be my gift to him.

Part of me wants to call him on it. I don't need anyone thinking I'm a charity case. But another, less volatile, part of me wants to accept the offer. Blaise is my friend, and despite him being a Pureblood, rich, and a proud Slytherin, he's actually a very thoughtful person.

So instead of snapping something snarky at him, I say genuinely,

"I'd love to teach you some tricks, B."

Blaise's face breaks out into a smile and he nods,

"Good."

He and I share an understanding smile. Maybe this Christmas will turn out to be a pretty great one. You never know.

...

I wake up looking forward to a Christmas day with my friends (and Harry), but I don't expect any presents, apart from Hermione's of course. We always make each other presents, it's kind of our own tradition. And Blaise's, obviously.

Since I'm the only girl left in Slytherin, I wake up alone. I enjoy a bit of extra sleep until the anticipation gets too much and I just have to get up.

Blaise is waiting for me down in the common room, already opening his small mountain of presents.

He smiles gamely at me as I cross the room towards him. I have no idea what he's so smirky about, that is until I notice the small pile of hazardly wrapped packages with my name on them. I hold in a squeal of delight. As Draco would say, Slytherin's do not squeal.

I am ecstatically happy though. I fall to my knees next to the presents and begin unwrapping them. I open the one from Hermione first. It's a purple flower pressed between two pieces of glass. I got Draco to show me how to make a firework potion for Hermione. Sin was against the idea of me dealing with any kind of explosive element, but Draco and I just stared at him until he sighed and asked if he could help.

The next gift is from Blaise. I laugh at the Snitch replica, which has engraved on it the words 'Catch me if you can'. I scoot over to Blaise and kiss him on the cheek. Very uncharacteristically, Blaise blushes deeply. But it's a dignified blush.

"Thank you B, I love it."

Blaise grins, seeming less embarrassed now.

"Yes, well, now you can always remember your first Qudditch game."

I giggle, unable to help myself,

"I don't think I'll ever be able to forget Harry Potter eating the Snitch right in front of me."

Blaise snickers as well, and I go back to open my other presents. A silver package that just screams Malfoy, is the one I pick up next. I didn't expect Draco to get me a gift even though I was fully aware he got Sin one. I unwrap the package slowly, wondering what Draco would get me. I make a mental note to give Draco a long, bordering on awkwardly long, hug. He got me a silver snowflake bracelet, and I don't doubt that it's made of real silver. There's a small card attached to the velvet box, and it reads ' _I have never met anyone as weird as you. You're truly one of a kind' ~ Draco'._

I get Blaise to help me put the delicate bracelet on. I wouldn't admit it to anyone, but this is the nicest thing I've ever owned.

I open another present, this one from Sin. Sin's told me his parents left himself and Harry quite a lot of money, but I certainly didn't think he would spend it on me. I almost screech again in joy when I find the crystal Unicorn necklace. It's blue and beautiful, I love it to pieces. There's a note from Sin as well, it reads ' _You're my best friend. Shhh, don't tell Draco, you know we'll never hear the end of it. Anyways, I'm just really glad I met you, Everlyna. Luv Sinclair # the Potter everyone likes'._

The last present doesn't have a name on it, or a note, so I don't know who it's from. I open it cautiously, worried it might be a prank from the Weasley twins. I wouldn't put it past them, the marvellous gits.

But I'm surprised when I find an original copy of my favourite childhood story 'Alice in Wonderland'. I fucking love that book. Whenever things got too much at home, I'd always escape by reading about Alice's mad adventures in wonderland.

I remember, ages ago, we were all sitting outside drinking mugs of hot chocolate made by Hagrid, and for whatever reason we were talking about books and toys we loved as children (we still are children, I know, shut up). I was feeling sentimental or whatever, so I told them about Alice in wonderland. My own copy was destroyed when my mother accidentally set it on fire with one of her old cigarette's. I'm not usually a crier, and I hate to do it in front of people, but when I found the mangled remains of my only solace, I bawled like a baby. I didn't tell mum what she'd done, there would have been no point. It felt weird to tell my friends all that, including Harry, Ron and Neville. But it also felt nice. They didn't make fun of me like I feared they would. Sinbad agreed that the Chesire cat would indeed be the leader of any and all cat-based revolutions. Cat's got skills.

"Who's that from?" Blaise asks me, gesturing at the book I'm hugging to death.

I shrug at him,

"I don't know. There's no note."

"Your mother?" Blaise asks.

I scoff before I can stop myself and Blaise raises an eyebrow questioningly. I make a face at him and ask about his presents instead of answering. Blaise lets it go, although I can tell he isn't fooled. I can't be bothered to care as long as we don't have to talk about it.

We all meet up in the hall for Christmas dinner. As usual the tables are stocked with food, and I try a little bit of everything. I haven't ever had Christmas dinner like this before. Or really at all.

The rest of day turns out great. Harry and I don't argue even once, neither do Hermione Ron, which is a miracle on par with the revival of Jebus. We pull magical crackers that explode. I help George and Fred steal Percy's prefect badge and hide it in the Slytherin common room. They twins tell me they're learning that having a Slytherin friend does indeed have advantages.

Ron tries to show me how to play Wizard's chess. It's so violent and mad...I love it! It turns out I'm pretty good at Wizard's chest, much to Ron's chagrin and his twin brother's amusement. We all sit around eating massive cakes and telling bad jokes from crackers, and laughing at the twins when they try to sing muggle songs. They don't know the muggle songs at all, so they make some of the words up. It's the best fun I've ever had at Christmas.

Right before we all decide to go to bed, however, Harry pulls me aside and whispers,

"Meet me tonight by the dogs playing poker painting."

I want to ask why, but the earnestness in Harry's voice stops me. Instead I just nod once,

"Ok."

A few hours later I wait for Harry by the painting, hoping the ADM won't catch me out here after curfew. I jump almost three feet in the air when someone grabs at my shoulder. But when I spin around to attack, my wand out and at the ready, there's nobody behind me. I peer into the darkness, the end of my wand acting as a torch.

"If you kill me, Sinclair will be pissed." I hear Harry's voice, but I still don't see him.

"Harry Potter!" I hiss, "Where the frik frak are you?"

Harry suddenly appears right in front of me, or at least part of him does. I stare at him in astonishment, and anger, as he says,

"Don't panic."

I fight the urge to smack him over the head. I lose. I smack him over the head.

"Harry you prat! I almost hexed you!"

Harry rubs his head and frowns guiltily at me,

"Sorry, I forgot I was wearing it for a second."

I roll my eyes,

"Wearing what?"

Harry goes on to tell me about receiving the invisibility cloak that used to belong to his father.

"'Use it well'? What do you think that means?" I ask when he tells me about the note attached to the cloak.

Harry shrugs,

"I'm not sure. But I thought we could use it to look in the restricted section of the library for something about Nicolas Flamel."

I grin at him,

"Brilliant idea! Let's go."

Harry helps me hide beneath the cloak, and I get butterflies in my stomach from the excitement. It's surreal, even after everything we've done so far, to think that right now we're both invisible.

One thing becomes clear after a few minutes of looking through the restricted section of the library; books are creepy.

"I think they're whispering to me," I tell Harry quietly.

Most of the books have titles in Latin, some don't even have titles at all. Harry pointed out one book that looks like it has thick blood all over it. Nice, the books are murderers. Restricted section indeed.

"You don't know that, they could just be whispering to _each other_ about something completely unrelated to us." Harry replies. Like what? Page thickness? What would books even converse about? No...hold on, I'm not going down that road. The never ending crazy waits at the end of that road.

"I heard them reference the girl and the boy with the bloody lamp. Do you see anyone else who fits that description around here? No." I argue, moving a little closer to Harry when one book calls out in a ghostly scream.

"Well then maybe they're just whispering _about_ us." Harry reasons.

I give him a look,

"Yes, because that's so reassuring."

Harry just rolls his eyes.

"Do you think the books will grass us up to Madam Pants?" I ask after a few more moments of wondering through endless stacks.

Before Harry can answer, the book he just opened lets out a deafening screech. We both jump and Harry accidentally drops the lamp. I catch the book before it can fall and slam it shut. But it's too late, the lamp has smashed and suddenly we hear noises coming from somewhere else in the library. Garfield's lover suddenly rounds the corner and we freeze in place. But Garfield's lover just looks right through us. I let out a breathe in relief. Together Harry and I manage to sneak past him and out of the library. Although when we see the ADM we start running. The two of us have no sense of direction in the darkness and stumble through hallways, dragging each other along as fast as we can whilst still keeping the cloak over us. Eventually I pull open a class room door and shove us both inside.

I blink in surprise when I see the great ornate mirror, stadning quite out of place in the unused classroom. It's beautiful and massive. How many more secrets can one castle hold?

Engraved into the top marble frame of the mirror are the words 'Erised stra ehru oyt ube cafru oyt on wohsi'. Years of living with Hermione has conditioned my brain to look at the words differently.

"I show not your face but your hearts desire." I read backwards. My voice sounds a little breathy even to me.

Harry blinks rapidly at me, but I can't take my eyes of the mirror. Something feels off about it. I do not like the vibes this mirror is giving off. It's enticing, though, the mirror. I force myself to look away from it. Nothing good ever comes from obsession. Not with anything. If my Mum taught me one thing, then it's that.

Harry moves towards the mirror, despite my protests. Once he's standing directly in front of it, he gasps.

The invisibility cloak has slipped off of us both now, and it lays uselessly on the floor. How can something so powerful appear so ordinary when not being wielded?

"What's wrong?" I ask Harry, concern leaking into my voice without my permission.

Harry doesn't look away from the mirror as he says,

"My parents. My family. I see them."

What fresh frak?

"Harry...what do you mean?" I ask cautiously. If Harry's having a meltdown, I may need to jump him. Get me the sleepy drugs!

Harry's voice sounds faraway when he says,

"In the mirror. I can see my mum and dad. Other family too."

I don't point out how mad that is, because far be it from me to ruin someone's family fantasy. I've had plenty of my own.

I move a little closer, trying to see what Harry see's, but no, nothing. I believe him though, I have no reason not to.

"Come and look," Harry reaches out to the mirror, as if trying to touch...something.

I shake my head,

"Nah, I'm good. That mirror gives me the creeps, Harry. I don't like it."

Harry turns around suddenly, and the very real mixture of hope and pain in his eyes makes my heart hurt. I can say all the bad things I want about my Mum, but she's not dead. Harry will never know his parents. Neither will Sinclair. In this moment I wish so hard that they could. I wish that this mirror could give them that chance. But what this mirror creates is nothing more than a powerful illusion. The engraved words above reveal that fact quite clearly.

I move towards Harry slowly, still wary of the mirror, and I take his hand in mine. Harry turns back to the mirror.

We both stand there like that for a long time.

A voice from behind us says,

"I see you have both discovered the Mirror of Erised."

I practically jump out of my skin for the bloody third time tonight. Harry and I both whip round to face...Dumbledore?

"Is that what it's called, sir?" Harry asks, still sounding like he's in a daze.

Dumbledore inclines his head slightly,

"Yes, and I expect you've realised what it does?" he phrases it like a question we should understand the meaning behind.

I'm still brooding over the fact that I've been attacked by a book, a cloak and a professor!

"It...showed me my family," Harry says, an odd maturity to his tone. A sober knowledge in his voice.

"Now, can you think what the Mirror of Erised shows us all?" Dumbledore says gently.

"Our hearts desire," I say, pointing at the backwards writing.

Dumbledore smiles slightly,

"It shows us nothing more or less than the deepest, most desperate desire of our hearts." He looks at Harry, "You, who have never known your family, see them standing around you." He searches my face for a moment before asking, "What did you see, Miss Granger?"

"Nothing." I say coldly.

Dumbledore raises one pale eyebrow,

"Oh no?"

"I didn't look."

Dumbledore appears a bit amused now.

"And why is that?"

"I don't want to." I say firmly.

I expect him to ask why not, but he surprises me by saying instead,

"This mirror will give us neither knowledge or truth. Men have wasted away before it, entranced by what they have seen, or been driven mad, not knowing if what it shows is real or even Mirror will be moved to a new home tomorrow, and I ask you both not to go looking for it. If you ever do run across it, you will now be prepared. It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live, remember that. Now, why don't you put that admirable cloak back on and get off to bed?"

I grab the cloak up off the floor. Harry gives the mirror another longing look, and I squeeze his hand to get his attention.

"Good night professor." We both say, before covering ourselves with the cloak again.

We don't look back at the mirror, or at Dumbledore as we quickly head back to our dorms. Harry drops me off at mine first.

I realise belatedly that his hand is still holding onto mine. He looks at me with a peculiar expression on his face. I know then, with just that one flash of emotion in his eyes, the truth.

"Harry." I whisper.

"Yes?" he watches me carefully.

I let go of his hand, and after a moment, Harry lets go too.

"Thank you for my book."

Harry's emerald eyes widen briefly.

When he doesn't say anything, I lean in close and whisper,

"I owe you a gift."

Then I rush in through the Slytherin entrance.

Best. Christmas. Ever!

** Sinclair's P.O.V **

"Mr. Potter, it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance." Mr Malfoy says in a tone that suggests the complete opposite.

Even so, he bows his head in what Draco warned me is a mark of respect in Pureblood culture. I try desperately to remember everything Draco told me over the last few days about Pureblood etiquette and his family. I get so nervous that my mind goes blank and I do something weird. I curtsey.

Because the universe hates me. So does my brain. They work in tandem together to ruin my life from every conceivable angle.

Mr. Malfoy's expression doesn't change, but I feel the derisiveness leaking into his cool silver eyes. Those silver orbs are so like Draco's, but whereas my friend's eyes hold warmth and laughter when they settle on me, Mr Malfoy's show...distaste. It rather reminds me of the look the ADM used to give me, although less heated. Mr Mafoy's look is more one of cool assessment.

I really don't want Draco's dad to dislike me, but I'm not sure what I can do about it.

"It's very interesting to meet you too, Mr Malfoy."

Interesting? Why did that have to sound like a challenge?

Mr Malfoy apparently seems to think so as well, because he says,

"And why would that be young man?"

"Father," Draco says, a slight warning in his voice.

"Lucius," Draco's mother, a very tall and beautiful woman indeed, says. The warning in her voice is much more precise and cutting.

Mrs Malfoy appears the very essence of grace and poise. Her slim body moves like she's made of water.

I begin to feel even more nervous.

Maybe this was a bad idea. I don't know if I can be what Draco needs me to be. I really do not belong in his world.

"Mr. Potter," Mrs Malfoy says, almost sounding kind, "I hope you will excuse my husband's rudeness...he rather fancies himself as Lord of the manor."

"I _am_ Lord of the Manor," Mr Malfot protests, but his wife cuts him off with a fierce smile.

"Don't pay any attention to his little mind tricks." Mrs Malfoy mock whispers to me, a glint of amusement in her eyes. I see more of Draco in her than I do his father.

"Thank you for letting me stay Mrs Malfoy, it was very kind of you." I say more genuinely, now I know I won't be kicked out for bowing in the wrong way.

Mrs Malfoy smiles at me and says,

"You're very welcome. Please, call me Narcissa."

"Then call me Sinclair," I reply, and this time I bow properly.

Draco had to do a lot of persuading to get me to come with him for Christmas. One, I didn't want to leave my brother. He's the only real family I have left, and it felt wrong not to spend Christmas with him. Two, because I was afraid I would make a fool of myself in front of Draco's parents. Well, mission accomplished on that front at least.

Draco gives me a secret smile, which I attempt to return. I haven't felt this nervous since the sorting ceremony at Hogwarts.

After that brief meeting at the station, I am quickly whisked away to Malfoy Manor. And let me tell you, I had to seriously stop myself from gaping like a weirdo. It's fucking massive!

I lean over and whisper to Draco,

"Are you sure you aren't related to the Queen or some shit?"

Draco pinches my arm, a not too subtle reminder that his parents probably would not appreciate me swearing in front of them. I get that. I can be polite and normal.

If you just scoffed...then fuck you. You're probably right.

"Your home is...lovely," fucking big and fancy, "I like the...gargoyles." What?

"Thank you, Sinclair." Narcissa says, most likely trying to cut off her husband, who by the way keeps giving me the adult evils. Adult evils are evils that children aren't allowed to comment on. My Uncle/the hungry hungry hippo, does it all the time. Although Mr Malfoy makes it seem much classier. Gotta give him props for that.

Draco is so excited that he immediately pulls me to 'my room'. I'm not gonna waste time describing what the inside of a manor house looks like, you all know the drill, you've seen Scooby-doo. It's impressive and way out of my league, lets just leave it at that for now.

"I think your Dad wants to eat me," I tell Draco once I've dumped my very small bag of stuff on the well made bed.

Draco waves a hand dismissively,

"He just doesn't know you yet."

I make a face,

"Draco, I don't think your father 'getting to know me', will help. In fact I believe it will make the situation worse, if anything."

Draco frowns at me,

"So? Who cares if he doesn't like you?"

I frown right back at him,

"Um, I would have thought...you?"

Draco turns slightly defensive then,

"My father and I don't agree on everything, you know."

Draco's told me a lot about his parents since we met, and from what he's told me, I always got the impression that they got along rather well. If that's not the case then I've been a really bad friend in not noticing.

"I respect them," Draco tells me, clearly reading my mind somehow, "But I don't really think like they do."

"How do they think?" I ask him.

Draco starts fiddling with his robes, a sign that he is uncomfortable as hell. Malfoy's do not fiddle.

"Well, they believe in blood purity and..."

"Pureblood's reign supreme?" I supply, finding the thought more humorous than I probably should.

Draco narrows his eyes, and I prepare myself to get scolded by my friend. But instead he says,

"Yes, I suppose you could put it that way."

Right.

"And...?" I trail off, not sure what he's getting at.

Draco shrugs one shoulder and looks me square in the eye,

"I don't believe those things," I raise an eyebrow, so Draco adds begrudgingly, "anymore."

"At all?" I ask, more out of curiosity than anything. I know he's been treating Ever, and even Hermione, differently as of late. But I thought that was just because of how much time we'd all been spending together.

Draco sighs heavily, sounding resigned.

"At all."

Wow, big step.

"Well...that's good Drake. I'm glad." I tell him honestly.

Draco smiles slightly,

"Just don't say anything about it to my parents. They'll lose their shit."

I roll my eyes at him,

"Yeah, like I'm gonna bring up with your parents how you completely wuv muggle-borns now."

Draco hits my arm,

"Shut up."

I hit him back,

"No, you shut up."

"You shut up times infinity!" Draco announces, grinning, and he tackles me to the bed.

I start laughing, unable to help myself as we fight. We end up jumping up and down on the ginourmas bed and throwing light hexes half heartedly at each other. Draco already told me that his home is warded against Ministry detection so we can use magic. It definitely explains why Draco was already so good at hexes before he even got to Hogwarts.

At dinner that night I finally get to meet Draco's younger brother, Scorpius. It's so funny because Scorpius literally looks like a slightly shorter version of Draco. The only difference between the two brothers appearance-wise is their eyes. Scorpius has his mother's pale blue eyes instead of the lightening silver of his father and brother.

He's only a year younger, so he'll be attending Hogwarts next year. All throughout dinner he asks Draco and I endless questions about Hogwarts. Unlike Draco, Scorpius appears to have no concept of family pride or subtle manipulation. He says exactly what he thinks.

Draco never talks about his brother, hell, I didn't even know he had one until about a month ago when Draco let it slip into the conversation. I can see why now, as the two brothers seem nothing alike in personality. Draco is sarcastic and wilful, whereas Scorpius appears unassuming and easy-going.

Well, the holidays does do one thing effectively, it stops me from obsessing over what arsehole tried to murder me via bird army.

Go Christmas!


	8. The really weird rock: Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER. AT ALL. LIKE NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT. I PROMISE. BUT JK ROWLING DOES, SO, YAY FOR HER. ;)

** Ever's P.O.V **

"You did what?!" Hermione screeches at me when Harry and I admit to using his invisi-cloak to sneak about after hours.

"Thanks for taking us with you," Ron mutters stiffly, shooting both of us a very pissy look.

Sin just covers his eyes with his hands and sighs,

"You two are going to get yourselves in serious trouble, and then I'll have to come and rescue you from Wogbarts prison."

Harry agreed with me that we should keep our book attack adventures to ourselves until after the Christmas break. Mostly because we knew our friends would flip a lid about it.

Draco appears to be in good spirits, despite the news, and instead of getting annoyed, he asks curiously,

"So, did you find out who Nicolas Flamel is?"

Ha, ha! This is the good part. On our first visit, obviously no, we didn't find anything. Instead we found a creepy-arse mirror. But on our second...

"Harry remembered where he heard the name before," I say excitedly.

Harry nods, looking equally excited,

"I read about him from one of those famous wizard's collection cards." Harry whips out the card and reads allowed to us, "'Dumbledore is particularly famous for his defeat of the dark wizard Grindelwald in 1945, for the discovery of the twelve uses of dragon's blood, and his work on alchemy with his partner, Nicolas Flamel'!" He's practically bouncing in his seat by this point.

Sin holds up a hand and says slowly,

"Wait...wait...hold on. Lets focus on the important part here," he looks back and forth between me and Harry, "You two played detective. Together. And kept it a secret. Together. Right?"

I arch an eyebrow at him,

"Right, so?"

Sin smirks a little and replies teasingly,

"If you two wanted some alone time, you could have just said so. There's no need to turn it into a mission impossible situation."

"Shut. Up." Harry snaps at his twin.

Sin just sits back in his seat with a satisfied look on his face. He has Bubbles the cat on his lap, purring and generally being cat-like. He looks like a young bond villain.

Prat times one billion.

But also kind of wicked.

Damn him! And his little kitty too! Cue lightening and dramatic revenge music!

"Come on then, don't keep us all in suspense, who is Nicolas ruddy Flamel?" Draco asks, swiftly cutting through the tension between the Potter brothers.

I grin excitedly and drag out an old book I nicked from Hermione. Hermione notices this of course and exclaims,

"Hey, that's mine."

I pat her on the head and say,

"Uh, technically it belongs to the school library, and therefore to all students who attend Hogwarts." I grin at her and add, "I attend Hogwarts."

Hermione glares at me some more, but I press on before she can start whinging. I open the book to the right page and read out,

"Nicolas Flamel is the only known maker of the Philosophers' Stone!"

I get a sea of blank looks in response. Brilliant.

Sin frowns at me and says,

"The _Phantom zone_?"

Harry rolls his eyes at Sin and says,

"No, the _Philosophers stone_."

Sin waves a hand at him,

"Yeah, yeah, I heard. The giant three headed tortoise is hiding the Phantom zone. We better get on the blower to Danny Fenton top sweet!"

I start snickering. That's a good one. Even if I'm the only one who understands it.

"Don't you mean the _Sorcerers_ stone?" Draco questions thoughtfully.

I snort and shake my head,

"What are we, American? No, it's the bloody Philosophers stone. Deal with it."

"So, what is it anyway?" Ron asks dumbly, still looking confused

I settle in to explain,

"The ancient study of alchemy is concerned with making the _Philosophers_ Stone, a  
legendary substance with astonishing powers. The stone will transform any metal into pure gold. It also produces the Elixir of Life, which will make the drinker immortal. There have been many reports of the Philosophers Stone over the centuries, but the only Stone currently in existence belongs to Mr. Nicolas Flamel, the noted alchemist and opera lover. Mr. Flamel, who celebrated his six hundred and sixty-fifth birthday last year, enjoys a quiet life in Devon with his wife, Perenelle."

There, that about covers it. Wow, that stone bloke is super old. I bet Dumblebumble is about a billion by now. Also, who new Dumblebumble had fwends?

I bet they're all in some super secret old man club and they drink lemon tea together.

Hermione grins and snatches the book away from me, her evil little goblin eyes dance as she reads the paragraph over again.

"Hey, grabby hands, don't have a cow about it!" I scold, putting on my best Professor Mcgoggles voice. Not that she would ever say a sentence like that in a million trillion light years.

"The tortoise must be guarding the Philosophers stone!" Draco exclaims, and he leans closer to Hermione so that he can read over her shoulder.

Sin rolls his eyes and says,

"Seriously, can we just call it 'Phil's stone'? Saying the word 'Philosophers' over and over again is already getting tedious."

I hold my hand up,

"Motion to call the Philosophers stone 'Phil's stone' passed and received."

"Ay!" Everyone lifts their hands and calls.

"Wow," Harry says, "A stone that can stop you from dying and turn things into gold, who wouldn't want that?"

"A cat." Sin mutters, pointing down at Bubbles.  
I shake my head at him,

"You poor naïve fool. All cats want to be immortal. They will lead the apocalypse."

"What's an apocalypse?" Ron asks, looking even more confused that before.

I stand up and throw my arms into the air,

"IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD!"

Everyone in the hall stares at me. I flash them the peace sign.

"Get down, you lunatic," Hermione snips at me without looking away from the book.

I flop back into my seat. Ron still doesn't seem to get it, and I wave him off. Some things you just can't explain to the normies a.k.a normal people.

What sad little lives they must lead.

"So, who do you think is really after the stone?" Harry asks to no one in particular.

I shrug,

"I dunno, it could really be anyone."

"Just not Snape." Draco says with a challenging look at all of us.

Sin grasps Draco's shoulder and squeezes,

"Don't rip our heads off, Drake, we believe you."

Ron makes a mumbling sound of disagreement, but doesn't actually say anything. Apparently miracles can happen folks.

"It has to be one of the Professors," I say, "I mean, who else would have the right access, knowledge and ability to go after it?"

"Ever's right," Harry nods to me, "Whoever's trying to get at the stone must have known what it was and that it was here, already."

"Ok, so that narrows it down...sort of." Sin says with a scowl.

Unfortunately he's right, we don't have any other leads on who could be trying to steal the stone.

"You're all missing the obvious," Draco says with a sigh, "We may not know who's trying to get at the stone, but we do know someone who's already trying to stop that person..."

Ah ha! The ADM!

"So, what, we follow the ADM?" Sin asks, not sounding too sure about that plan at all.

"Brilliant!" Harry announces, "He'll lead us right to whoever it is!"

Draco frowns at us,

"I actually meant that we could just _ask him_ , but whatever, if you lot want to play super spy detective, then fine."

We all stare at Draco for a long time. Then I say,

"Can we be super spy detective ninja's instead?"

Draco drops his head down onto the table and groans,

"Oh, here we go."

"What's the difference between a super spy detective and a super spy detective ninja?" Harry asks seriously.

I scoff at him,

"Uh, the stealth factor. Obviously."

Draco looks up at Sin then and says,

"I blame you for this."

Sin sputters indignantly,

"What? Why? How is any of this madness my fault?"

Draco narrows his eyes and then makes a dramatic hand gesture,

"I don't know! It just is! All the madness is your fault!"

Sin huffs in annoyance and lifts up Bubbles. He pushes Bubbles right into Draco's face, his green eyes practically glowing, as he says,

"Talk to the evil cat, Draco Malfoy, because this boy wonder ain't listenin'!"

I point at Draco,

"Yeah, don't be throwing out no flack, Zaco!"

"What's _flack_?" Harry asks me curiously.

I shrug at him,

"I dunno. I heard someone from my estate say it once."

Harry nods in understanding,

"Too right."

I hold up my fist,

"Bro."

"Innit." Harry bumps my fist with his.

Safe.

** Sinclair's P.O.V **

"Would you hurry up and sit down!" Draco pushes me into a seat in the stands.

Slytherin is playing Ravenclaw today, and we've actually made it this time to see Ever play. Despite my thoughts on Qudditch (mainly that it's stupid), I'm actually looking forward to seeing Ever fly with the Slytherin team. I know she'll kick Ravenclaw's arse, she's been practicing like crazy with the team for last few weeks.

Blaise drops down next to me on the right, and Draco sits on my left.

We all agreed to keep an eye on the ADM to see who he acts suspicious around. I didn't point out at the time how ridiculous that is since the ADM treats everyone with similar disdain. I didn't say anything mostly because I didn't want to be ostracised from the group planning (plotting) session like Hermione was after she complained too much about getting into trouble.

I suddenly feel something hit the back of my head, and I turn around.

It's Knott. Great.

Knott makes a mock guilty face and says,

"Oh, so sorry Potter, I didn't see you there."

I resist the urge to wipe that smug smirk off his prattish face. Draco speaks before I can,

"Piss off, Knott."

The two boys glare at each other for a moment. Then Knott smirks again and looks out over at the game. It's already started, and Ever appears to be weaving around the other teams seeker. I can see her grin all the way from over here. She looks like a bird happily hunting it's prey.

I shiver at the thought of birds.

Knott sniffs derisively,

"I wonder how long Granger will be able to stay on her charity case broom this time. She practically tackled Potter to the ground in the last game."

Draco opens his mouth to respond, looking furious, but I force him to look away. Blaise leans over and whispers,

"Ignore him, Draco, he's just trying to get under your skin."

Mission accomplished then. At least on my part.

Knott, as usual, doesn't take the hint.

"You know I think they chose Granger for the house team because they feel sorry for her. She's not even really a witch. Growing up with all those muggles," Knott makes a disgusted sound, "How ruddy terrible. The girl's probably got some kind of muggle defect."

Alright, that's it!

I have my wand out in one quick movement, and I aim it towards Knott. Draco grabs onto my arm and hisses at Knott,

"You have no idea what you're talking about! Ever is more of a witch then you'll ever be a wizard, you prat."

Knott scoffs,

"Yeah...sure. I'd expect that kind of thing from a blood traitor like you, Malfoy, getting all cosy with Muggle-borns." Knott sneers at Draco.

I glare even harder at him and attempt to pull my arm away from Draco so I can hex the fucker looking at us with smug look on his face.

"Look, I think Ever's spotted the snitch!" Blaise announces, having apparently been the only one actually watching the game.

I dismiss Knott with a wave of my hand and I turn back around just in time to see Ever gliding through the air at break neck speed. Her dark hair blows wildly in the wind as she shoots downwards like an eagle snatching up a smaller bird.

Everyone gasps when Ever almost hits the ground, but strikes up at the last minute. She raises her arm and reveals the Snitch, grasped tightly in her hand.

The whole stadium erupts with noise. People shout and applaud and whistle like mad.

Blaise grins and says excitedly,

"Woah, that's gotta be a record! I've never seen anyone catch the Snitch that fast before."

I start clapping and calling out to Ever. She really is an amazing flyer.

"Oh, so now Quidditch isn't so stupid?" Draco says to me and Blaise drolly.

I smirk at him,

"Nah, it's still stupid. But Ever's just cool enough to make it look not quite so stupid."

Draco rolls his eyes at me, but only mutters,

"Idiot," under his breathe in response.

….

"I can't believe we're actually stalking my own God father!" Draco whispers in exasperation.

After the game, Draco and I went down to collect Ever so that we could go celebrate. But on our way back to the Dungeons, we spotted the ADM flouncing off somewhere. Ever decided he looked suspicious, so now we're following him. Covertly.

"Like bloody spies!" Ever says, sounding over joyed about the prospect.

"Like bloody morons, you mean." Draco mutters darkly.

I smack his arm and whisper,

"Shhh, don't ruin my stealth. I have a groove going here."

Draco huffs unhappily,

"I still don't understand why we can't just ask Professor Snape who he thinks is trying to take the stone."

Ever mock frowns at me,

"Who the hell is this 'Professor Snape' character he's bumbling on about?"

I try to hide a smirk in the face of Draco's glare.

"I think he means the ADM." I say.

"Weirdo's." Draco shakes his head at us. "But seriously, why can't we just ask the….the ADM…who he's suspicious of?"

Ever snorts dismissively,

"Because that would be boring."

I nod in agreement,

"The mop race champion has a point."

"You're both insane." Draco says, but he doesn't protest again as we sneakily follow the ADM.

We have some serious sneaking skills. Like, for real.

Eventually the ADM comes to a stop at a clearing and we all hide behind a cluster of trees. I have to hold in a gasp when Professor Squirrel moves out of shadows to join the ADM. He looks nervous. Even more so than usual, and that's really saying something. Seriously, the man looks like he's jonseying for another hit of whatever drug makes him shake all the time.

I can't hear what they're saying very well from over here. Ever seems to find the same problem because a moment later she takes out her wand and whispers,

" _Allusigen_."

Nothing happens for a second, and then a tiny flutter of power leaps out of her wand and spreads like a web. A few more seconds later and I hear Professor Squirrels voice clearly through the sound heightening web.

"... d-don't know why you wanted t-t-to meet here of all p-places, Severus..."

"Oh, I thought we'd keep this private," the ADM says, he sounds pissed off. Even more so than usual I mean. "Students aren't supposed to know about the Sorcerer's Stone, after all."

" ** _Philosophers_** _stone, dang nabit_!" Ever hiss-whispers indignantly.

"Shhhhh!" both Draco and I hiss-whisper back.

We all shut up and listen. Professor Squirrel starts rambling on about…fuck knows…nuts or some shit. His ramblings never make any sense.

"Have you found out how to get past that beast of Hagrid's yet?" The ADM asks menacingly.

"B-b-but Severus, I -" Pressor Squirrel tries to bumble, but the ADM is having none of it.

"You don't want me as your enemy, Quirrell," the ADM warns, and he moves a bit closer to him.

"I-I don't know what you-"

"You know perfectly well what I mean." The ADM snaps impatiently.

An owl hoots somewhere above us. We all look up and see that it's Voldebert.

"Sod off, Voldebert, you evil swine!" I whisper-shout at Voldebert.

Voldebert hoots again. Louder this time. God damn evil owl is gonna blow operation sneaky ninja's!

"She's going to jeopardize our entire mission!" Ever exclaims.

I hear the ADM say,

"- your little bit of hocus-pocus. I'm waiting."

Huh?

Voldbert hoots again.

Bitch.

"B-but I d-d-don't -" Professor Squirrel tries to protest about whatever it is.

"Very well," the ADM interrupts again, "We'll have another little chat soon, when you've had time to think things over and decided where your true loyalties lie."

Ohhhhhh, **burn!**

"Professor Squirrel just got burned!" Ever whispers, grinning.

The ADM strides away, leaving Professor Squirrel looking scared out of his mind. Then Voldebert swoops down and over his head, causing him to squeal like a piglet and fall against a tree.

Nice one.

"Come on, we have to tell the others!" I announce.

"Tell them what exactly? And why are we spending so much time with bloody Gryffindor's lately? I feel besmirched by their presence in my life." Draco says as we scramble towards the school.

"Too bad, they're our allies against the evil powers of Phil's stone!" Ever says.

We kidnap Harry, Hermione and Ron from the Gryffindor common room and drag them to an empty class room. I explain to them what we saw and heard.

Harry looks all excited and says,

"Excellent, we were right! Someone is after the stone and that person is-"

"Professor Squirrel!" We all say at the same time. Woah. Way creepy.

"There must be other things guarding the stone," Hermione says reasonably, "Maybe loads enchantments or something."

"Do you think he knows how to get past Roland?" Ever asks thoughtfully.

"Who?" Harry frowns at her.

She rolls her eyes at him,

"The giant three headed tortoise."

Harry crosses his arms and says,

"That's not what you called him originally."

Ever glares at Harry,

"I've had time to reflect. I can change my mind if I want to."

"Technically his name is Shelly," Ron puts in, for some reason risking his life by getting in between an Ever and Harry bicker fest.

Ever shrugs,

"He has three heads, he can have more than one name. Don't be so judgy."

Harry scoffs and points at Draco,

"Says the one who's best friends with Draco _Malfoy_."

Draco makes an affronted noise,

"Excuse me, Potter, I happen to be a very open minded and tolerant individual. I don't hate muggle-borns or muggles anymore. I think Ever is a great witch, much better than purebloods like Knott. I even helped a muggle-born do his potions homework the other day. I let him sit close to me and everything. So there."

Oh my God, _why_?

"Very big of you," Harry says dryly.

Draco looks pleased with himself,

"I know. I feel all enlightened and shit."

Ever grins and pats Draco's shoulder,

"Exactly, he fell for my Unicorn wiles!"

Wait hold on a sec-

I turn to Ever and say,

"Draco is your best friend? Since when?"

Ever blinks at me and smiles. Draco just makes a face, he says,

"We thought you knew," he gestures between himself and Ever, "We're best friends. You're basically our mascot."

I gasp. How dare they!

I narrow my eyes at Draco,

"Yeah, well….your hair looks crap today."

Draco sucks in a harsh breathe,

"Wow…that's low, Sin."

I hold up my hands and say,

"I know. I know. That was too far, I'm sorry."

Draco sniffs at me,

"I forgive you."

Ever throws her arms out and says,

**"Group hug?!"**

We go in for a three-way hug. Our Gryffindor counterparts just stare at us.

"Why do they keep _doing_ that?" I hear Ron ask.

"Because they're _weird_." Hermione responds.

"I think we're descending into a bad territory here," I say to my friends.

"You do like my hair though, right?" Draco asks.

I nod and say,

"Of course I do, its lovely."

"I think the word you're looking for is fabulous," Ever gives us both an extra hard squeeze.

"You lot can hug too, if you want." Ever says, looking over at Harry, Hermione and Ron.

They all take a huge step back.

Pah, Griffs.


	9. The really weird rock: Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER. AT ALL. LIKE NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT. I PROMISE. BUT JK ROWLING DOES, SO, YAY FOR HER. ;)

** Ever's P.O.V **

"It's a bloody dragon!" Ron announces gleefully.

"Nah, it's clearly a broken umbrella," Sinclair says snarkily.

To be fair to Sin, it does kinda look like a broken umbrella. I did expect a dragon to look a little more mighty, and little less like an angry bin bag. But still. It's a freakin' dragon, so I'm not complaining.

The other day we caught Hagrid messing around in the library of many judgy books. You wouldn't think so, but the books can be even meaner than the paintings in this place. Anyway, we did a bit of snooping and found out Hagrid had been looking up dragons.

We were all immediately suspicious, so we slunk down to interrogate Hagrid in his hut. After a bit of ad-hoc cajoling from yours truly, I got him to admit that he won a dragon egg at some sort of wizard pub. Arguing about the dragon has been a good distraction from everything else going on, actually.

Hermione has been driving us all mad with studying for our exams. You'd think we were trying to get into the marines or some shit with way she carries on. The woman made each of us a 'study guide', all colour coded and everything. I set mine on fire and told her to shove off. Harry and Ron have definitely got the worst of it. Sin, Draco and I have managed to avoid her bossy pants behaviour for the most part by just hiding in our common room, or running away when we see her coming.

We do all hang out in the library from time to time so that we can all study together. Honestly, it's like she thinks she's head of the exam prep club with the way she struts around sniping at us all the time. My own sister called me 'inept' and 'sub-par'.

I had my revenge though. I snuck into the Gryffindor dorms with the help of the Weasley twins, and used one of their joke quills to draw a moustache, beard and glasses onto Hermione's face. It's magical prank ink so it can't be washed off.

Harry and Ron refused to help me when I suggested the idea. They're too scared of Hermione's wraithful ways. The bloody wimps.

Hermione went ballistic when she saw herself in the mirror apparently. I wish I could have seen her face. Well, I did see it in the main hall at breakfast.

Draco had a laughing fit and had to be picked up off the floor, the sod. Sin was a bit more dignified about it, but I did hear definite snort-like laughter coming from behind his hand. I waved at Hermione, and she glared at me. But it was Harry and Ron who got a bollocking for it, which somehow made the whole thing even funnier.

We've also been keeping an eye on Professor Squirrel, to make sure he doesn't scuttle up a tree with Phil's stone. Draco is still insisting that we should just talk to the ADM, but there's no way we can do that without admitting we've been spying on him. The ADM would beat us with his mighty glares if he found out what we've been up to. He might even tell Dumblebumble about it, and then we'd really be in the shit.

I go and check to make sure Roland is still guarding the trap door every now and again. Did you know it was possible for a three-headed tortoise to growl? I didn't. Now I do.

The umbrella dragon stares at us with orange eyes. It looks so alien and weird. I love it. When the umbrella dragon sneezes, flames come out of his nose. It's oddly cute. If you're mad, that is.

"Isn't he a beauty?" Hagrid says, sounding a bit tearful. He reaches over to stroke the umbrella dragon's head. The scaly beast snaps at his fingers, revealing a nice set of pointed teeth.

"Bless him, look, he knows his momma," Hagrid appears delighted that his new baby just tried to eat him.

Fair enough.

Of course Hermione has to ruin the beautiful moment by asking,

"Hagrid, how fast exactly do Norwegian Ridgebacks grow?"

"I'm surprised she doesn't know that," I whisper to Sin, "She's supposed to know _everything_."

Sin coughs to hide his laughter.

Hagrid opens his mouth to answer the question, but something stops him. Suddenly the colour drains from his face and he sprints over to the window, in like two steps because his hut is so puny.

"What's wrong?" Harry asks, concerned.

"Someone was lookin' in through the window, a student…he's runnin' back up ter the school."

Oh blimey O' Reilly and bloody hells bells!

Harry and I rush to the door to have a look. Even from all the way over here, there's no way we can mistake such a weedy form gallivanting like a prat. Harry looks over at me, and we both say at the same time,

"Knott saw the dragon. Shit!"

…..

Eventually, after a lot of dogging up Knott and his cronies for a few weeks, we come to the conclusion that poor Umby, the dragon, has got to go.

It takes a lot to convince Hagrid, but the only sane option is to send him away to Romania with Ron's dragon wuving brother. The dragon I mean, not Hagrid. Although Draco keeps muttering about that being a good idea also.

"He'll love it," Draco says, "Hagrid will be surrounded by dragons who all want to eat him. You know he enjoys that kind of thing."

"Don't be a mean bo beany," I scold him.

"He's our friend," Sin adds, pointing his spoon at Draco and flicking a few co co pops onto the table in the process.

Draco scoffs and crosses his arms,

"He's a bloody lunatic that you and Potter have decided to adopt you mean."

"That's not a very nice way to speak about yourself, Zaco." I say, smirking.

"I refuse to help the crazy beardy man! Refuse I say!" Draco announces with flourish.

Sin and I ruffle Draco's hair until he agrees to stop being an arsehole and help us with Umby.

Charlie the dragon wuver sends a letter back telling us the time and place to take Umby so that some of his colleagues can collect him. We can't all fit underneath the invisibility cloak, and we really can't risk being seen, so we all draw straws to decide who gets to go.

It ends up being me, Harry and Sinclair.

Draco swears he'll keep an eye on Knott Mc weedy pants to make sure he doesn't tell on us. Ron accidentally left the letter from Charlie lying around, and we saw Knott snatch it. So he knows when we're giving Umby away.

Umby gets packed into a crate, which to be honest is the safest place for him. He's been biting everything fleshy he can get his fangs into. Hagrid keeps treating him like a baby though, and tells us all off for frightening him. Again I mean the dragon, not Hagrid.

I reached even my limit for understanding madness when I saw Hagrid singing 'twinkle twinkle little star' to Umby one night. The complete mentalist.

"Goodbye Norbert," Hagrid practically weeps, "Mommy will never forget you."

See, madness I say!

We cover Umby with the invisibility cloak and then cover ourselves with it as well.

I have no idea how we managed to get that crate back up to the castle, but we did. We go through some corridors and climb up a few flights of stairs, all the while dragging the crate along with us.

"Jesus, this is one heavy umbrella," I complain quietly.

"Tell me again why we agreed to meet in the tower and not somewhere lower down?" Sin huffs as we continue to drag the crate up some stairs.

"You two, stop whispering and help me here," Harry says with a muffled grunt.

"Alright, keep your panties on," I reach over to flick at Harry's fringe.

"Oi, watch it!" Harry says, as he almost stumbles backwards.

""You watch it!" I snap at him.

"Both of you shut up and carry on dragging the God damn spawn of Barney upstairs so we can chuck him off the bloody tower!" Sin says a little too loudly. Good thing there aren't any chatty books or paintings around here or we'd be screwed.

"Um…Barney's a dinosaur." I point out carefully.

Sin turns a narrowed eyed look on me and says,

"Blah blah, _dinosaurs_ , blah blah, _dragons_ , blah blah blah. They both have scales, it's the same thing."

I open my mouth to argue that point, but Harry swiftly shakes his head at me. I decide to leave the topic alone for now.

We get a few more flights up before we hear a noise coming from around the corner. I tense and despite the fact that we're covered by the invisi-cloak, we all move back into the shadows to 'hide'.

A moment later we see Knott come running around the corner. He's then tackled from behind by Draco, who takes him down and quickly moves to sit on his back. Knott struggles but Draco holds onto him firmly. I fight the urge to applaud such an epic smackdown.

"You'll pay for this, Malfoy," Knott hisses at Draco.

Draco blows a bit of white-blond hair away from his face and replies,

"Yeah, keep talking Knott, that won't stop me from sitting on you. You make a very nice stool by the way, have you thought about being transfigured into one? I personally think it would be a massive improvement."

Knott starts thrashing around again, but Draco just clamps down harder. He looks flushed and his hair is almost as messy as Harry's, which is really saying something. Draco's wearing his silk white PJ's and big fluffy bunny slippers, which Sin got him for Easter. He looks ridiculous and badass at the same time.

"Get the hell off me!" Knott demands angrily, "Or you'll be sorry! I'll make you sorry!"

Draco whips out his wand then and presses it to the back of Knott's neck. Knott stills rather quickly. There's a violent glint to Draco's eyes when he says,

"Do not threaten me again Knott, or you may find yourself hexed into the stone floor."

"You wouldn't dare," Knott says, but he doesn't sound so sure.

To be honest, neither am I.

Draco actually growls,

"Try me. Seriously. Give me a reason to-"

Suddenly a lamp flares to life from around the corner and Professor Mcgoggles comes into view. She's wearing a tartan dressing gown. That says it all folks.

She takes in the scene with one sweep of her eyes and then practically screeches,

"Detention! Both of you get up now!"

But Draco doesn't let Knott up right away. Instead he stays down on top of him for a few more seconds, probably just to prove that he can. Then Draco gets up gracefully and puts on a vaguely disinterested expression. Knott on the other hand scrabbles up and starts hurling accusations,

"He threatened to hex me-"

But Professor Mcgoggles cuts him off with a swift glare,

"Twenty points from Slytherin! How dare you both-"

"You don't understand miss," Knott insists in a whingy voice, "The Potters and Granger are around here somewhere, they've got a dragon!"

"Ridiculous lies!" Professor Mcgoggles snaps, "Both of you come with me to see Professor Snape!"

Draco doesn't say anything, or protest when Professor Mcgoggles leads him and Knott away.

"We so need to give Draco a cuddle after this," I say to Sin.

Sinclair is still looking after Draco, something like awe on his face.

"Definitely," he says to me.

Harry rolls his eyes at us,

"You people cuddle too much."

I slap his arm,

"There's no such thing as cuddling your friends too much. You should try it."

"Just not with either of us," Sin warns his twin, "Ever is mine and Draco's cuddle-buddy. And you and I are related, so it would just be weird if we cuddled."

Harry gives us both a look and says,

"I'm not talking to you people any more. It gives me headaches."

Rude.

We carry on up to the tower, and once we're outside in the cold night air, we take off the invisi-cloak. Umby starts crashing around inside his crate and I lean down to talk to him. He likes me best, obviously, and I'm the only one hasn't tried to bite. Clearly dragons have good taste in friends.

A few minutes later the dragon enthusiasts arrive on broomsticks and take Umby away with them. They seemed far too happy and jovial for my liking, but whatever.

We make our way back down stairs, still snickering about Knott getting detention. But suddenly our happiness is ripped away by Garfield's lover.

We left the invisi-cloak up on the tower.

Damn.

"Well, well, well," Garfield's lover says creepily, "Aren't we out late looking for trouble."

Uh oh.

** Sinclair's P.O.V **

"We can't go in there," Knott protests, and he points towards the forbidden forest, his arm shaking a little.

"Yeh can, and yeh will if yeh want ta stay at Hogwarts." Hagrid says.

"But I've heard there's all kinds of creatures in there. Werewolves even." Knott says, he looks pale and frightened.

"Oh, stop whinging," Ever says dismissively.

This is our detention. After we got caught by Filtch, Professor Mcgoggles and the ADM ripped us a new one. We lost loads of house points, for whoever gives a crap about that, and now we're being punished.

Draco says that most of Slytherin hates us now. I honestly haven't noticed any difference. We were already the pariah's of Slytherin, now they just have a reason to hate us. A flimsy reason, but a reason nonetheless. Good for them I say.

Apparently our punishment will be us lot risking our lives by going into the not-quite-so-forbidden-after-all forest.

"I'm not going in there," Knott says again, he's definitely panicking now.

"Don't be such a big baby, Knott," Draco says smugly. I can tell he's afraid of going into the forest as well, but like hell will he let Knott see that.

"But this is servant stuff," Knott argues, "I thought we'd be doing lines, not this. If my father knew he'd-"

"Oh shut up, Knott," I say finally. I've had enough of him. If he keeps talking I'm gonna have to hex him and then we'll be in even more trouble.

Hagrid growls,

"Copyin' lines! What good's that ter anyone? Yeh'll do summat useful or Yeh'll get out. If yeh think yer father'd rather you were expelled, then get back off ter the castle an' pack. Go on."'

"Yeah, go back to Hogwarts," Ever says gleefully, "We'll even help you pack if you like. No, in fact, we insist on escorting you from the premises. We want to say goodbye properly."

With a swift kick to the arse, goes unsaid.

Harry, Draco and I all nod enthusiastically at Knott, and we gesture towards the castle. Knott just glares at Hagrid for a while, and then drops his eyes to the floor.

Hagrid makes a sound of satisfaction and says,

"Right then, now, listen carefully, 'cause it's dangerous what we're gonna do tonight, an' I don' want no one takin' risks. Follow me over here a moment."

Hagrid leads us over to the very edge of the forest. It feels weirdly ominous. Suddenly I'm scared of going into the forest as well. What if a demented badger tries to eat me? Or I get trapped in a hole? Or a tree attempts to give me a hug, like in Snow White?

"See that over there, that's Unicorn blood," Hagrid says, he lifts his lamp and brandishes it at the forest. The darkness of the forest becomes even more obvious when a light is shinned on it. I'm not sure how that works, but it does. I see a trail of silvery blood spattered on the ground.

"There's a unicorn in there bin hurt badly by summat. This is the second time in a week. I found one dead last Wednesday. We're gonna try an' find the poor thing. We might have ter put it out of its misery." Hagird explains.

"No!" Ever exclaims in absolute horror, "MY BRETHREN!"

Draco wraps an arm around Ever's shoulders and pulls her in close. She turns into his shoulder and holds onto his coat like an angry kitten who has just been severely wronged.

A feeling of foreboding spreads through me like wildfire. It gets worse the longer I stand in front of the forbidden forest. I look over at Harry, and I can tell from the expression on his face that he feels it too. That fear spindles between us, binding us together with an invisible tether.

I really don't want to go into that forest, but I don't see any way out of it either.

"What if whatever attacked that Unicorn comes after us first?" Knott asks all trembly.

"There's nothin' that lives in the forest that'll hurt yeh if yer with me or Fang," Hagrid says not very reassuringly. "An' keep ter the path. Right, now, we're gonna split inter two parties an' follow the trail in diff'rent directions. There's blood all over the place, it must've bin staggerin' around since last night at least."

Oh goodie. I'm so freakin' excited now. Hear the sarcasm people, HEAR IT AND WATCH ME FLOUNCE!

I am so very VEXED!

"I want to have Fang with me," Knott demands haughtily.

"Ok, but he's a coward," Hagrid says, "So me, Harry, an' Ever'll go one way an' Theodore, Draco, Sinclair, an' Fang'll go the other. Now, if any of us finds the unicorn, we'll send up green sparks, right? Get yer wands out an' practice now - that's it - an' if anyone gets in trouble, send up red sparks, an' we'll all come an' find yeh - so, be careful - let's go."

Right then. Off to die in the bloody woods.

Draco reluctantly lets go of Ever and narrows his eyes at Harry. I watch him go up to my brother and poke him in the chest, then he tells him that he better look after Ever or else he'll feed Harry to a werewolf himself.

Harry glares back at Draco, but doesn't say anything. He just nods stonily.

Ever sidles up to me and says,

"See that, Zaco loves me."

"You are besties," I say, nudging Ever in the side, "You better look after my brother or I'll tickle you to death. Understood." I give her a mock stern look.

Ever winks at me,

"Will do, Sir."

Hagrid calls her over and Ever skips away from me. She dances into the forest with Harry and Hagrid like an evil fairy. I swear I hear her cackle. I feel sorry for any creature that tries to eat Ever, she'll kick their arse into next Tuesday.

I set off into the woods with Draco, Knott and Fang. I'm the one who ends up holding onto Fang's thick collar. We walk around for about an hour, Draco and I talking about stuff and Knott trying his hardest to be as annoying as humanly possible, the git.

We get deeper and deeper into the forest, and it gets darker and darker. Even the trees appear more mangled and angry looking. The path becomes impossible to follow because of how close the trees are to each other. We're practically rubbing against them now as we move along.

I notice that the blood seems to be getting thicker the further we move into the forest. I point that out to Draco and he makes a face of distaste. It seems like the Unicorn might be close by. And in pain probably, the poor thing.

Eventually we come to a clearing and I gasp at the sight of the brilliant Unicorn, collapsed on the muddy floor, covered in blood, and dirty leaves. It's a terrible and magnificent sight. The Unicorn glows like a star in the sky; its long white mane is tangled and twisted with blood.

It fills me with a deep sense of sorrow to see such a beautiful creature so utterly destroyed by some kind of monster. Because surely only a monster would kill a Unicorn. Only a monster could do such a despicable thing to something so pure.

I take a step toward the Unicorn, but then I pause when I hear a horrid slithering sound. That feeling of fear and foreboding creeps into my heart again. I grab hold of Draco's arm and yank him back with me and Fang.

I don't want to be here anymore. Not one little bit.

Suddenly a hooded figure moves out from behind a bush and practically crawls towards the Unicorn. It looks like a shadow stalking an ember of light. Something about this feels all wrong, and a little part of me is angry. I don't know where that feeling is coming from, which scares me a lot.

I try to contain my disgust when the hooded monster starts drinking the Unicorn's blood right in front of us. I grip onto Draco's wrist hard enough to bruise. Draco appears to stiffen beside me, either in fear or horror. I don't dare look away from the beast though.

"Ahhhhh!" Knott starts screaming, which causes Fang to bark loudly and howl.

The hooded beast turns towards us and looks right at me. I feel that anger develop into an inferno of rage inside me. There's no space left for fear. I take out my wand without thinking and aim it at the beast. Blood spills from the creatures' mouth and it starts moving towards us.

Out of nowhere a pain like nothing else I've ever experienced before pierces my head and I let out a harsh shout. It feels like my forehead is on fire. I fall to my knees, bringing Draco down with me.

"Sin!" I hear Draco call out, he sounds panicked and scared, "Sin, what's wrong?!"

I open my mouth to say something, but all that comes out is a weird croaking sound. My head hurts so fucking much right now that I can barely breathe. I swear I black out for a few moments from the pain.

From behind me I hear the sound of galloping hooves and I feel a rush of air as something jumps right over my head and charges the hooded beast.

The pain in my head slowly recedes, and I take in a few shuddering breathes. Draco is smoothing my hair gently. I turn to face him. He looks scared and confused. His pale eyes appear to glow in the darkness.

"Sin, are you alright?" Draco whispers to me.

I nod carefully, my head still throbbing a little bit.

"I'm good, thanks."

Of course I'm not ok, I just got mentally brutalised by a bloody shadow.

I try to avoid Draco's questioning gaze. When I look up my eyes widen in surprise. Standing in front of me is a centaur. I only know he's a centaur because Ever wouldn't stop banging on about them for a week when she read a book on magical creatures.

Ever likes to pretend she's not a total bookworm like her sister, but she really is.

The centaur looks young and has long white-blond hair. His body is hard and pale.

"Are you alright?" The centaur asks me.

I stare at him for a while. Draco helps me to my feet.

"Do you know what that was?" I ask the centaur instead of answering his question.

The centaur employs the same tactic and doesn't respond. He watches me with his astonishingly pale blue eyes. He looks me up and down, his gaze lingers on my now severely pissed off scar.

"You are one of the Potter boys," the centaur says, "We better get you back to Hagrid. Neither you nor your brother are safe in these woods. My name is Firenze. Can you and your companion ride?"

I blink at him for several seconds, but eventually something breaks through,

"Harry! Do you know if he's hurt too?"

I wonder if his scar burned like mine.

"Your brother is unharmed. For now." Firenze tells me. He lowers himself down a little so I can climb onto his back. I exchange a look with Draco.

Draco shrugs and says,

"I'm game if you are."

He still looks really worried about me. I reach down to squeeze his hand reassuringly. I'm not sure which one of us I'm trying to reassure though.

We both climb onto Firenze's back, with Draco in front and me holding on behind.

Suddenly I hear a lot more galloping from the other side of the clearing and more centaurs appear. There are two of them. They're both darker skinned than Firenze, and they seem out of breathe.

"Firenze!" One of the centaurs thunders, "What are you doing? You have a human on your back! Have you no shame? Are you a common mule?"

Jeez, take a chill pill, no need to get pissy with Firenze the friendly centaur.

"Do you realize who this is?" says Firenze. "This is one of the Potter boy's. The quicker he leaves this forest, the better."

"What have you been telling him?" The other centaur growls. "Remember, Firenze, we are sworn not to set ourselves against the heavens. Have we not read what is to come in the movements of the planets?"

Wah?

The less shouty centaur says,

"I'm sure Firenze thought he was doing right."

What is that to do with us? Centaurs are concerned with what has been foretold! It is not our business to run around like donkeys after stray humans in our forest!" Bellows the pissy centaur.

"I feel very exposed right now," Draco whispers to me.

I shift a little closer to him and whisper back,

"Join the club. If one of them starts charging, then remember to tuck and roll."

"Do you not see that unicorn?" Firenze rears up suddenly in anger, "Do you not understand why it was killed? Or have the planets not let you in on that secret? I set myself against what is lurking in this forest, Bane, yes, with humans alongside me if I must."

And with that Firenze does the centaur version of flouncing off by turning around and fucking bolting away. Draco grips onto Firenze for dear life, and I do the same to Draco.

We travel through the forest for what feels like forever. Something suddenly occurs to me. I say to Draco,

"What happened to Knott and Fang?"

Draco sighs heavily and replies,

"They both buggered off when the hooded arsehole started swishing towards us."

I snort out a laugh, unable to help myself,

"He did kind of swish, didn't he?"

Draco laughs too,

"Pretty much, the fabulous bastard."

We both start snickering like twits on horseback. Which we are. Kind of.

Hopefully Knott will get eaten by a giant owl or something and we won't have to deal with him anymore. I hope Fang is ok though.

I decide to try and ask again about the hooded creature. I lean around Draco to speak to Firenze.

"Do you know what that swishy creature was then? Or is this one of those 'you will know when the time is right' situations?"

Firenze slows down suddenly and says, his voice grave,

"Sinclair Potter, do you know what unicorn blood is used -for?"

Again, _wah?_

"Nope."

Firenze is silent for a moment, but then he says,

"Only one who has nothing to lose, and everything to gain, would commit such a crime as to kill a Unicorn. The blood of a Unicorn will keep you alive, even if you are an inch from death, but at a terrible price. You have slain something pure and defenceless to save yourself, and you will have but a half-life, a cursed life, from the moment the blood touches your lips."

Blimey. No drinking Unicorn blood then, I'll cross that off my bucket list.

Draco is less of a weirdo about it and actually asks a sane question,

"But if you're going to be cursed forever, then death must be the better option."

"It is," Firenze agrees, his pale hair shimmers in the moonlight, "unless all you need is to stay alive long enough to drink something else - something that will bring you back to full strength and power - something that will mean you can never die. Do either of you know what is hidden in the school at this very moment?"

"Phil's stone!" I announce boldly, "But who would want-"

"Can you think of nobody who has waited many years to return to power, who has clung to life, awaiting their chance?"

Cold dread pools in my stomach and it makes me want to be sick. There's only one person I can think of who would be that desperate to live.

"Do you mean that was actually Vol-"

"Sinclair!" I hear brother's voice coming from somewhere in the distance.

Suddenly Harry comes into view, and he runs towards us on the path. Ever is close behind him. Hagrid follows, huffing and puffing, and shouting for them to slow down.

As my brother gets closer I see the barely dried blood on his forehead. That feeling of dread gets worse. Harry's expression is both relieved and grim. I know my own expression must be mirroring the same thing back at him.

"Sinclair, you bloody beautiful thing you, I'm so glad you're not dead," Ever says happily, bouncing on her toes as she looks up at me. Relief and worry are at war in her eyes.

Firenze nods to my brother,

"Ah, the other Potter boy. My name is Firenze."

Harry nods, a small frown on his face,

"How do you know who I am?"

"Never mind that," I wave a hand, "let's get out of this bloody forest."

"Seconded," Draco says as we climb down off of Firenze's back.

"Agreed," Ever says as she yanks first Draco and then me into a bone crushing hug.

Firenze looks between me and my twin, considering us for a moment. Then he says,

"Good luck, Harry and Sinclair Potter. The planets have been read wrongly before now, even by centaurs. I hope this is one of those times. I don't yet know which one of you is the wrong soul, and which will sacrifice his."

WAH?!

Firenze gallops away without another word.

"Centaurs are cryptic bitches," Ever says absently.

True dat.


	10. The really weird rock: Ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER. AT ALL. LIKE NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT. I PROMISE. BUT JK ROWLING DOES, SO, YAY FOR HER. ;)

****

** Ever's P.O.V **

"Damn it, Squirrel's already gotten past Roland," I whisper in annoyance.

Sinclair, Draco, Harry, Ron, Hermione and I have somehow managed to sneak up to the third floor corridor. How, I have no idea. Someone left the invisi-cloak on Sin's pillow 'just in case' so we decided to use it for advanced sneaking ability.

Although one cloak between six people was definitely not an easy feat. We all had to cuddle together. Obviously Sin, Draco and I didn't mind because we like hugging. Like non-boring people do. But Harry, Ron and Hermione kicked up a fuss about it for whatever reason.

Sinclair didn't help when he teased Harry for putting his arm around my shoulders. He only did it so we could all fit under the cloak. But of course after Sin said that, Harry refused to touch me at all, like I had the Black Death or something. Idiot.

Unfortunately Dumblebumble is away badger hunting or some shit, so this makes it the perfect night for Squirrel to make his first fabulous move towards world domination. Bitch better watch himself, I called taking over the world first. Squirrel can wait.

It didn't take us long to figure out that Hagrid had spilled the beans to a 'stranger with a cloak on' about Roland the three headed tortoise.

Now either Volevant or Squirrel can get past Roland and steal Phil from his 'hiding' place. We just couldn't allow that to happen, so here we are, ready to save the day or whatever.

Harry says to us,

"You don't have to do this, not any of you. I can take it from here alone."

Sin nods,

"Oh, alright then, have fun, off we go," Sin starts to move away from the door, pulling me and Draco along with him.

Harry rolls his eyes and grabs onto Sin's arm, he yanks him back around and says,

"I didn't mean you. The rest of them can go, but you and I have to do this."

Sinclair frowns at his brother. He takes hold of Harry's hand and removes it pointedly from his arm.

"Um, why? This is all a terrible idea."

"He killed our parents, Sinclair, we have to stop him." Harry says with such conviction that I almost want to applaud his stupid hero crapness.

 _Almost_ being the operative word.

"I don't see how that makes us qualified to take on a dark lord," Sin argues with a loud sigh, "but fine, let's go save Phil's stone from Squirrel or Voldepop."

"We're coming with you," Hermione says with surprising vigour.

Ron nods along with her,

"Of course we are."

The three griffs all give each other pleased hero looks. It's odd.

I exchange a raised eyebrow moment with Draco. He whispers to me,

"They look so happy with themselves. It kind of makes me want to push them over."

I lean in closer to reply,

"I know right."

Sinclair turns to us and asks flippantly,

"So, you wanna go kick some Squirrely arse?"

I bounce enthusiastically on the spot as Draco makes a face and says,

"Not really."

Sin puffs out a breathe,

"Yeah, me neither."

I scoff at them both,

"We have to go. I'm not letting the Gryffindor's take all the glory when we win."

Draco sighs and says to Sinclair,

"The insane unicorn has a point."

"Oh alright then, let's go." Sin throws up his hands and we all frog march into the room where Roland should be.

We find Roland asleep on the floor, his three heads all just barely poking out of his massive shell. There are low growls echoing around the room.

Sinclair shakes his head in disbelief and whispers,

"How does a three headed tortoise even growl?"

Draco shrugs, still staring at Roland,

"Um, magic?"

"A magical growling three headed tortoise," I say, "That's just silly."

"What's that by its feet?" Hermione asks, pointing towards Roland's nubbly feet.

"Is that…is that a ukulele?" I peer a little closer. Ha, it is a ukulele!

Harry slaps Sin's arm,

"Go on, get out your harmonica."

"Roland will only sleep if music is playing," Draco reminds us cautiously.

Sin glares at his brother and slaps him over the head in retaliation. But he gets out his harmonica that Hagrid gave him for Christmas and starts to play it. We all watch Roland as he twitches a few times, but then curls up even closer to his shell.

It's a truly haunting rendition of three blind mice.

We all shuffle over to the trap door and Harry pulls it open. I peer inside but there's nothing but darkness. Either it's a long drop or magic is stopping us from seeing what's down there. I'm getting a foreboding feeling folks.

"Want to go first Weasley?" Draco says with a smirk, but I can tell he's just as freaked out as I am.

"Shove off, Malfoy!" Ron snaps back.

"Ohhh, that's not very brave of you Weasley." Draco mocks with a definite sneer. He's just being defensive because he's afraid.

"Come over here and say that Malfoy, I'll push you down that hole myself!" Ron's hands clench into fists, like he wants to reach across the hole and strangle Draco.

"Both of you shut up!" Harry and I say at the same time. We give each other a look and then we're blushing for some reason.

"Wanna hurry this up," Sin hiss-whispers mid-song, "I'm running out of musical talent over here."

"You'd have to have some to begin with for that to happen," Harry mutters to himself.

"Oi, you feel free to come over here and play the effing harmonica yourself, you big fat….." Sin trails off, a frown on his face.

"Whale fiend," I remind him.

Sinclair grins widely and points dramatically at Harry,

"HA! Yes! You big fat _whale fiend!_ "

"Oh for the love of coco pops," Draco says, rolling his eyes, "can we just get on with it."

"Right you are," I say, "I'll go first." I start shifting around to lower myself into the hole. But Harry stops me with a hand on my arm.

He shakes his head,

"No, I'll go first, to check if it's safe."

I narrow my eyes at him, but he doesn't give me a chance to argue. Harry drops down through the hole. My heart seizes in my chest for a few moments.

I feel like I can't breathe. Stupid Harry. I hope he isn't dead. I'll be so pissed off if he's dead.

"I'm alright! It's a soft landing, you can jump!" I hear Harry call up to us through the trap door.

My relief is palpable.

"Come on then, lets' go," I say to cover up my own embarrassment.

I jump in after Harry first. There's a surprisingly short fall which makes my tummy flop, and then I land on something soft, but clearly solid.

It's gloomy down here. I move around a bit, trying to figure out what I've landed on. I look over and even in the dim light I can see Harry not too far away from me.

"Ever, is that you?" Harry asks.

"Yeah," I reply, "What are we sitting on?"

"I think it's a plant," Harry says.

A plant? What the hell?

A moment later a body flops down opposite me. It's Ron. Next comes Draco, then Hermione, and last of all Sinclair. We hear Roland yapping loudly at the loss of music, but Sinclair has already jumped into the hole.

"What's this?" Ron asks, sounding confused.

"It's some kind of plant thingy or something," Sinclair says, his tone not exactly pleased about it.

"Sin, technically you're not sitting on the plant," Draco says from beneath Sin, who somehow managed to land directly onto Draco when he jumped into the hole.

"You're very comfy, if that's any consolation," Sinclair says to Draco.

"You're an idiot," Draco says and he shifts around a bit, probably trying to shove Sin off of him.

"We must be miles under the school," Hermione says.

"Good thing this plant is here really," Ron comments.

Yeah, lucky probably isn't the right word.

"Bloody hell, what's happening?" I hear Harry yell.

I shuffle backwards towards the wall and kick at the devils snare trying to get all grabby grabby with my ankles. Everyone starts screaming when the meanie plant begins wrapping around their bodies.

"Stop moving!" I shout at them.

"It's Devil's snare!" Draco shouts back.

"I know! That's why you need to stop moving!" I keep myself as flattened to the wall as possible.

"Devil's snare hates the light," Hermione calls out.

"We need fire up in this place!" Draco yells, "So someone get your bloody wand out and do a bloody light spell!"

Sinclair is still on top of Draco, so he's the least tangled up in the devils' snare. He takes his wand out and so do I. He looks over at me and we lock eyes.

" _Incendia_!" We both shout, and twin bursts of light shoot out of our wands. I aim mine at the vines trying to strangle Harry and Ron. Sin aims his at the vines trying to eat Draco and Hermione.

The vines practically flinch away from the light and everyone scrambles over to the nearest wall. We make our way towards a stone passageway.

"Thank God some people pay attention in class," Harry says with a sigh.

"Thank fuck some people know how to use their ruddy wands," Draco mutters.

We all shuffle down the passageway in silence, the only sound is a trickling path of water streaming over the walls. It smells strange down here, like being too close to a waterfall.

"Can you lot hear something?" Ron asks suddenly.

I strain to listen, and I do actually hear some tinkling sounds from up ahead.

"Do you think it's a ghost?" Harry asks.

"Sounds like wings I think," Sin says.

"Look, there's some light," Draco points out, sounding a little happier.

"I can something moving," Ron says.

When we reach the end of the passageway we all huddle together to get a good look at the room in front of us. It's a magnificent chamber with a very high ceiling. There are little birds made of jewels flitting about all over the place. I see a heavy wooden door on the other side of the room.

"Do you think we'll get attacked if we try to walk across the room?" Ron asks in an apprehensive voice.

"Probably," Sin says, "they are birds after all. They feel no mercy for us mere mortals."

"I'm sure I can out run them," Harry says confidently.

"Yeah, you do that one scar wonder, you do that," Draco says dryly.

"I meant _we_ can out run them," Harry says, throwing Draco a dirty look that Draco simply ignores.

"What is this 'we', you speak of brother?" Sin says, "I've already been molested by birds once this year, I don't need to put up with that shit again."

"Don't be a big baby Sinclair," Harry says in annoyance.

"You shut your face," Sin reaches over to flick Harry on the nose.

"Hey, get off!" Harry shouts at his brother and he clambers over the rest of us to hit Sinclair back.

"You're both being ridiculous," Hermione gripes.

But Harry and Sinclair are busy fighting on the floor like baby wolverines. I sigh tiredly and get up. Draco follows me and we head over to the door. None of the birds attack us. That makes me a little bit suspicious.

Draco tries to pull open the door, but it's locked. Perfect. Now what?

Harry and Sinclair finally get to their feet. They haven't stopped shoving each other though. I stride over to them and place myself in between the fighting brothers.

"Would you two stop, you can kill each other later. Come on, we have mission not-quite-impossible to be getting on with."

Thankfully, they do actually quit it with the shoving. They give each other one last mighty mouse glare, and then Sinclair walks over to Draco. Sin and Draco watch as Hermione and Ron attempt to open the locked door. Ron pulls on the door handle so hard that when he lets go he falls over backwards.

I look up at Harry and he looks down at me. We both start laughing. The whole situation is ludicrous.

"Are you alright?" Harry asks me.

"I guess. I'd be a lot better if we could just get Phil's stone without having to do deadly tasks." I answer with a shrug.

"The tasks haven't been that deadly yet," Harry says, bumping his shoulder against mine.

I nudge him back,

"You only think that because you don't know anything about devils snare."

Harry smiles a little at me,

"True."

Sinclair, Draco and Hermione start firing spells at the door. But that door ain't nobody's fool, and it stands strong against the spells.

"These weird bird things must have something to do with it," I say, looking up at the glittering bird-like creatures.

Harry looks up as well, and after a moment he practically shouts,

"They're not birds! They're keys! Winged keys -look carefully. So that must mean..." he looks around wildly while the rest of us squint up at the flock of keys. "... yes - look! Broomsticks! We've got to catch the key to the door!"

What? Broomsticks, I follow Harrys gaze until I see a batch of brooms leaning against a wall. Bloody hell, this stuff is getting weirder by the second.

** Sinclair's P.O.V **

"But there are loads of them!" Hermione says unhelpfully.

Draco squints at the lock in the door and calls out to Harry,

"We're looking for a big old fashioned type key."

"It'll be silver!" Ron says, apparently refusing to be outdone by Draco Malfoy in the sidekick department.

We all nab a mop and start flying around looking for the right key, but the sodding bird-keys keep flapping around wildly and therefore cause quite a hullabaloo about it. See, even fake birds are evil.

Eventually I take note of a weird bird-key with a wonky wing. It looks like someone grabbed the wonky key and tried to shove it too hard through a key hole. Bingo.

"It's that one! The wonky bird-key over there!" I call over to the rest of them. At the same time Harry and Ever both grab for the wonky key and end up colliding. Again. Honestly, it's a good thing those two aren't on the same mop racing team.

Draco zooms forward at the last minute and grabs the wonky key whilst it's distracted by the calamity that is Harry and Ever. He holds the bird-key up in the air like you would a trophy and shouts,

"And the crowd goes _wild_!"

I can't stop myself from laughing, especially when I see the pissy looks on Ever and Harry's faces. I try not to fall off my mop.

"It's not _that_ funny," Ever huffs at me.

It really is though.

I've never seen Draco look so smug, which is really saying something.

Even Ron and Hermione are struggling not to laugh, I can see it on their faces. Harry just sniffs angrily and says,

"You only caught it because of us, Draco."

"You keep telling yourself that Potter- wait, hold on," Draco gives Harry a disturbed look and then turns to me, "Potter just called me Draco."

"Did not!" Harry argues defiantly.

"Did so!" Draco snaps back, "You called me Draco…..ew, that's so weird. What's wrong with you?"

"I did it by accident….shut up," Harry crosses his arms and glares at Draco.

"I think he wants you to give him a cuddle," Ever says to Draco, that all too familiar smirk back on her face.

Harry shakes his head so violently that I'm afraid it'll fall off. He glares even harder at Draco and says,

"Do and it and die, Malfoy!"

"Now, now, Harry," I say, attempting to keep my own amusement under control, "that's really no way to talk to your new bestest fwend. If you want a cuddle, then just ask for one nicely."

Harry does a brilliant impression of a pissed off cactus and then huffs off to land on the ground without another word. He stalks towards the wooden door and waits there. Hermione and Ron follow after him all loyal-like. Gryffindor's are hilarious.

Draco is still looking mightily pleased with himself,

"You angered it," he says to me, gesturing at Harry.

I roll my shoulders back and reply,

"As is my mission in life."

"Good catch, Zaco," Ever says, and she grins broadly at Draco.

Draco beams back at her,

"Why, thank you Dever. I believe this may be my greatest triumph of the year."

"I for one think it's a moment for the record books," I say, smirking.

The three of us burst out laughing.

"Are you three done being idiots yet?" Harry calls up to us.

"They're whispering," Ron says, aiming a suspicious look our way, "I don't like it when Slytherin's whisper; especially not _those_ Slytherin's."

"Oh, don't be so _boring_ ," Ever says to the Griff's as we all land back on the ground and walk over to wooden door.

"We have important things to do here." Harry quite literally snaps, "This isn't a game!"

Draco, Ever and I all ignore him. It's the best way really. We are Slytherin's after all, we don't have to listen to riff raff like my brother.

Ever takes the key from Draco and uses it to unlock the door. We all step through into the next chamber.

I can't see anything at first because it's so dark. But when we get a few steps in, the room suddenly floods with light. My eyes widen when I see what looks like a massive wall of green fire right in front of us.

"What the bloody hell?" I say in astonishment.

"How in the world are we meant to get past that?" Hermione asks, clearly also stunned.

"Does anyone know any water spells?" Draco says drolly.

"BRING OUT THE HOSE!" Ever shouts dramatically, flinging her arms up into the air.

We all take a few steps forward, not getting too close to the flickering flames.

Quite suddenly a face appears in the fire like a hologram.

"Fucking hells bells, it's the wizard of Oz!" Ever declares.

"Quick, find the curtain!" I say, pretending to look around wildly.

The face in the fire does not appear amused.

It startles the shit out of all of us by actually speaking,

"WHO DARES TO ATTEMPT TO ENTER THE CHAMBER OF HIDDEN TRUTHS!"

What, not the chamber of secrets? That name must already be in use or something. Is that what they call foreshadowing?

"Well," Ever says, still smiling like the insane person she is, "this is the tinman," she taps Harry on the head, "then that's the lion," she points at Hermione, "of course he's the scarecrow," she gestures at Ron, "and the three of us," she points at herself, Draco and me, "Are Dorothy."

"We just want to go home alive." I say, nodding along with all the insanity.

"I have no idea what they're talking about, but I want to go home alive too, so yeah, we're Dorothy." Draco says seriously.

"You people are ridiculous," Harry says, shaking his head at us.

Hermione just looks outraged. Ron appears confused. So nothing new there then!

The floaty head apparently decides to ignore us all and continues,

"TO PASS THROUGH THE FIRE ONE MUST FIRST PASS THE TEST OF WILL."

I make a face and Ever leans over to ask me,

"Who's Will?"

I shrug,

"I dunno. His boyfriend."

"Shut up," Harry snips at us, then he refocuses his attention on floaty head and says, "What kind of test is it?"

The floaty face actually grins evil mastermind stylie and answers,

"ONE MUST STEP UP TO THE WALL OF FIRE AND ALLOW THE TEST TO ENTER YOUR MIND. YOU WILL FACE YOUR WORST FEAR. IF YOU CAN OVERCOME THAT FEAR THEN YOU MAY PASS."

Sounds ruddy awful.

"That's not so bad." Ron says.

"Yeah," Hermione and Harry both say.

Draco looks at me and we nod at each other in agreement. Stupid Gryffindor's.

"WHO WILL BE THE FIRST TO TAKE ON TERROR?" The floaty heads shouts all creepy and shit.

"Hold on," Ever raises a hand, "so it's 'terror' now is it? What happened to fear? What's gonna be next, 'HORROR'?"

"The Unicorn is making a good point," I say, nodding.

"I DO NOT UNDERSTAND." The floaty head says.

"I mean that your adjectives are getting more dramatic as time goes on. It bothers me." Ever makes a face and crosses her arms.

"THEY ALL MEAN THE SAME THING." The floaty head argues.

Ever shakes her head,

"But that's not the point. 'Terror' sounds more horrid and dramatic than 'fear'. Why did you change tactics?"

Floaty head pauses and we all wait for him to answer the perfectly logical question. After a moment the green fire suddenly burns brighter and the floaty head announces,

"I DON'T HAVE TO ANSWER YOUR SILLY QUESTIONS. I AM THE KEEPER OF THE CHAMBER OF HIDDEN TRUTHS! I DO NOT BOW DOWN TO MORTAL CHILDREN!"

Woah. Offensive much.

"Oh you bitch!" I say, undoubtedly traumatised from such a display of fiery douche-nozzle-ness.

"Well _someone_ clearly has **issues** with his own self-worth," Ever says, her eyes narrowed in anger.

Floaty head does not appear pleased,

"YOU TAKE THAT BACK! I AM MIGHTY! I AM OMNIPOTENT! I AM-"

"-THE GREAT AND POWERFUL WIZARD OF OZ! Yeah, yeah, we get it, stop rambling on will you." I wave dismissively.

"We don't have time for this!" Harry shouts in exasperation.

"I agree, you should stop being so difficult," Draco says to the floaty head.

"What is even going on now?" Hermione asks, she sounds irritated and befuddled.

"I think Ever and Sin are debating with the floaty head," Ron says.

Hermione gives him a dry look,

"Yeah, I got that."

Ron glares at her,

"Well you asked."

Hermione blushes a deep crimson and huffs at him.

"Oh for love of..." Harry gives us all a look of annoyance and then flounces away to stand directly in front of the fire.

"I am ready to take the test of will." Harry says.

"Be careful Harry!" Hermione calls out to him, sounding highly distressed.

"Yeah," I add, "you stay away from floaty head's boyfriend Will or we might all rue the day."

I'm pretty sure Harry is about to turn around and swear at me, he's a meanie like that, but before he can there's a flash of green fire and a crackle like lightening hitting the ground. Harry disappears along with that crackle.

Well fuck a duck then.

"WHO WANTS TO GO NEXT?" The floaty heads says with an evil chuckle.

We all exchange looks of dread.

"I'll go," I say reluctantly.

Draco grabs hold of my arm to stop me and Ever asks,

"Are you sure?"

I shrug,

"Not really, but Harry's right," Draco and Ever both gasp in shock at my words, "I know, I know, please never tell him I said that. But he is right. We need to stop Voldepop, and if going through this fire is what it takes, then I'll risk it."

Draco doesn't look like he agrees with that assessment, but he lets go of my arm anyway.

"Be careful. Please, Sinclair." Draco says, his pale eyes going all big and expressive.

I feel a weird kind of emotion grip my heart and reach out to drag Draco into an embrace. Draco holds onto me tightly. A moment later Ever joins the improvised hug and we both let her in.

After a few long seconds I pull away from my friends and say,

"I'll see you on the other side, ok."

They both nod, but for once there doesn't seem to be anything we want to say to each other. Knowing us, we'd probably just ruin the emotional moment with a joke or shouting or explosions of not quite accidental magic.

I take a step back and turn around to face the green fire. I look over my shoulder to see Ever and Draco holding hands and watching me with worry and fear in their eyes.

When I'm facing the fire again I say,

"I'm ready to take the test of will."

A deep booming voice inside my head says,

**"Then we shall begin."**

A shot of powerful magic rockets through my body painfully. But my scream is lost in a flare of green fire and a crackle of lightening.

* * *

****


	11. The really weird rock: Eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER. AT ALL. LIKE NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT. I PROMISE. BUT JK ROWLING DOES, SO, YAY FOR HER. ;)

** Sinclair's P.O.V **

I crash land onto a stone floor. It hurts. Like a bitch.

My head feels all foggy and weird.

"Sinclair!" An annoying voice pierces through my skull.

I'm yanked to my feet by Harry, who shakes me a couple of times to get my attention. His big green eyes are wide with concern,

"Are you alright?" he asks.

I shove him off of me and swipe at my now creased clothing,

"No I bloody well am not! What's going on now?"

I look around at the small room. It's narrow and made of stone. There's a door at the end of it, but behind us there is only a wall.

Harry says,

"I don't know. I just landed here a minute ago. The voice inside my head said I had to wait for you before I could continue."

Wah?

"I'm confuzzled," I run my hands through my hair, probably fucking it up worse than Harry's. "I thought we were meant to face our worst fear or some shit."

Harry looks just as confused as I do, which does not bode well for any upcoming events.

Suddenly I hear that deep booming voice inside my head, just like I did right in front of the green wall of fire before I went 'poof'.

**_"You ARE about to face your worst fear."_ **

"But this all feels real," Harry says, and I realise he's hearing the same voice. Weird. Very weird. I feel the need to write a complaint letter to someone about all of this.

 ** _"It is."_** The voice says creepily, sounding almost amused now.

"What the hell? But you said we'd be facing our worst fear inside our head." I say angrily.

**_"No I didn't."_ **

Oh for fuck sake!

"You did so." Harry argues petulantly.

**_"Did not."_ **

"Ok, well, this isn't helping." I throw my arms up and then let them flop down at my sides.

**_"Your worst fear lies beyond that door."_ **

"But I thought we couldn't pass through the green fire or whatever until we'd defeated our worst fear…or something." Yeah, ok, I wasn't paying that much attention to what the floaty head was blabbering on about. I was too busy thinking about the fact that I was speaking to a green floaty head at all.

**_"I lied. Soz. I changed the rules because I want to see how all of this plays out."_ **

"How what plays out?" Harry asks suspiciously.

I swipe at his arm,

"I don't think that part really matters right now, you nitwit."

"It might, you don't know," Harry argues annoyingly.

"But it doesn't."

"It could."

"But it _doesn't_!"

"But it _could_!"

 ** _"I'm a die hard fan of fate."_** The creepy voice tells us.

"Goodie for you." I mutter.

How has this become my life?

"What do we do now?" I ask, to no one in particular.

Harry still decides to answer though, because he's irritating like that.

"We need to go through that door!"

I look at my brother seriously for a moment and ask,

"Do we? Do we _really_?"

Without any trace of irony in his voice at all Harry says,

" _Yes."_

Damn him.

I roll my eyes and say,

"Fine. But you are taking the fall for this if anything goes wrong."

"Like what?" Harry asks, making his confused puppy face.

I want to smack it off.

I make a flip flop hand gesture and say,

"I dunno, like if we end up doing something illegal and the Wizard cops come after us."

Harry frowns at me,

"The what?"

"The wizard cops." I say again.

"I don't even want to know what that means inside your crazy head, Sinclair."

Rude.

"Right then, off we go, once more unto the breech." I stride towards the door, unwilling to spend any more time enclosed in this tiny room arguing with my brother. Hell, it's like being back at the Dursley's.

Harry follows after me, closely. In fact he's so close that I turn around right before I open the door and say,

"Hey, personal bubble."

Harry rolls his eyes and takes a small step back. He holds his arms out and says,

"Happy? You weirdo."

I give him a dry,

"Ecstatic."

We push the big door open and move into the big chamber beyond. What we find inside isn't exactly what we were expecting. I was kinda hoping for spiders or balloon animals to be honest.

But nope.

It's the bloody Squirrel!

Ha, I knew it. If Ever was here she would so be halfway through her victory dance by now.

"You!" Harry gasps, pointing at Squirrel.

Squirrel has his back to us, but I see him smile in the reflection of a great whopping mirror. His face is all pale and unmoving. Creepy as shit basically.

"Me," Squirrel says, "I wondered whether I'd be meeting you both here, Potters."

"So it was really you then," Harry says aghast, "Not Snape."

I sigh heavily,

"Really? Are you still on this 'Snape is evil' thing?"

Harry glares at me,

"Hush your face. I'm just establishing events, alright."

Ok, ok, whatever.

Squirrel looks confused for a moment, but then he says,

"Yes, Severus does seem the type, doesn't he? So useful to have him swooping around like an overgrown bat. Next to him, who would suspect p-p-poor, st-stuttering P-Professor Quirrell?"

"Um, like, all of us." I say, pointing at myself, then Harry, and then I wave back in the general direction of the others. "We all totally knew, mate."

Squirrel doesn't look happy.

"You tried to kill us!" Harry accuses dramatically.

I point at Squirrel,

"Yeah. Mean. Like, seriously, majorly not cool."

Squirrel makes a pinched face,

"Yes, I tried to kill you. Your friend Miss Granger ruined everything when she saved you from falling. I'd have managed it much faster if Snape hadn't been muttering a countercurse, trying to save you." He looks at me then and I poke my tongue out right back. "And _you_. Those birds should have killed you easily. But no. You broke my compulsion and destroyed my spell. It's impossible for an eleven year old to do what you did."

"Well clearly not _that_ impossible." I say.

"Wait, Snape tried to save me?" Harry asks in disbelief.

I look over at him,

"You know you really need to get over your issues with authority."

"It's no matter," Squirrel says, "I'll just have to kill you tonight instead."

Squirrel clicks his fingers and some ropes appear out of nowhere. They wind themselves around me and Harry, tying us together.

"If you make one remark about your personal bubble, I will pinch you," Harry says to me warningly.

I roll my eyes and reply,

"No need to get violent brother." I nod at Squirrel, "We have him for that. Don't take this the wrong way, I think I'm more afraid of his threat than yours."

Harry makes a face and then nods,

"Point."

"Now, wait quietly, Potters. I need to examine this interesting mirror." Squirrel says, apparently ignoring our babble.

"It's the Mirror of Erised." Harry tells me.

Oh, the one Ever told me about. Right. It does look a bit dodgy.

"This mirror is the key to finding the Stone," Squirrel murmurs, tapping his way around the frame. "Trust Dumbledore to come up with something like this... but he's in London... I'll be far away by the time he gets back..."

Ok, well, now I'm getting bored. I hate being bored.

"I saw you and Snape in the forest -" I try to say.

Squirrel cuts me off,

"Yes," says Squirrel idly, walking around the mirror to look at the back. "He was on to me by that time, trying to find out how far I'd got. He suspected me all along. Tried to frighten me - as though he could, when I had Lord Voldemort on my side..."

WAH?!

Squirrel comes back out from behind the mirror and stares hungrily into it.  
"I see the Stone... I'm presenting it to my master... but where is it?"

Um, can we go back to the Voldepop thing please?

Harry and I try to free ourselves from the ropes, but they're too tight.

"When you say you have Lady Voldepop on your side, what exactly do you mean?" I ask, because this is important shit right here.

"He is with me wherever I go," says Squirrel quietly. "I met him when I traveled around the world. A foolish young man I was then, full of ridiculous ideas about good and evil. Lord Voldemort showed me how wrong I was. There is no good and evil, there is only power, and those too weak to seek it... Since then, I have served him faithfully, although I have let him down many times. He has had to be very hard on me." Squirrel shivers suddenly. "He does not forgive mistakes easily. When I failed to steal the stone from Gringotts, he was most displeased. He punished me... decided he would have to keep a closer watch on me..."

I do not like where this is going.

"I don't understand... is the Stone inside the mirror? Should I break it?" Squirrel sounds frustrated. Well good. At least now we all are.

I can't see how this could get worse.

Suddenly, it gets worse.

" _Use the…..use the boys_ …" a super nasty voice says.

Oh crap.

Squirrel turns on us and says,

"Yes! Potters, get over here."

"Yeah, we _would_ do that, but…" I look pointedly down at our bindings.

Squirrel clicks his fingers again and the rope falls away. Excellent.

Sort of.

Harry moves slowly towards Squirrel. I follow after him even more reluctantly.

We both stop next to Squirrel in front of the mirror.

"Look in the mirror and tell me what you see." Squirrel says to us.

I do. I see myself.

Jesus this is terrible! Seriously, this is worst thing _ever_!

I slap a hand over my mouth in shock.

"What? Do you see the stone?" Squirrel asks sounding all needy and weird.

But I don't have time for his nonsense right now. There are more important things God damn it!

I glare at Squirrel,

"Fuck your stone, LOOK AT ME!"

I point at my reflection.

"My hair is ruined!" I push Harry, "I look like _him._ "

This is the worst day of my life. Like for real.

Harry shakes his head at me,

"Your brain is broken!" he says in exasperation.

"Oh for goodness sake, get out of the way!" Squirrel shoves Harry and me to the side so he can pose in front of the mirror, or whatever it is other people do with mirrors.

Harry pulls me backwards and whispers into my ear,

"I have the stone."

"What?" I whisper back.

Harry grabs my hand and presses it over the stone in his pocket. Uh oh.

"Better make a break for it." I whisper and Harry nods.

We both start shuffling away from Squirrel. But then that dodgy voice starts up again.

" _They….they have…they have the stone_."

" ** _Do not_**." Harry and I say at the same time.

"Both of you, come back here!" Squirrel gets all screechy.

Then there's the voice again,

"Let me speak to them... face-to-face-to-face..."

The evil voice seems to be coming from Squirrel's turban. So fucked up.

"Master, you are not strong enough!" Squirrel squeaks.

"Yeah, don't strain yourself!" I say.

I think Squirrel is having a psychotic break.

"Does it sound like his hat is talking to you?" Harry asks me.

I cut him a look,

"It's called a turban Harry, _God_ , you are so uncultured."

"I've spent the last ten years of my life stuck in a cupboard under the stairs with _you_. How cultured could I be?" Harry says drolly.

I open my mouth to slam Harry with the greatest burn to have ever of been burned, when suddenly Squirrel starts unravelling his turban. His head is surprisingly teensy tiny without it. But it's not the size of his head that makes me want to throw up. Nah, it's the scary as fuck face on the back of his head that catches my horrified interest.

"You're seeing the face too, right?" I ask my twin. Harry just nods, a look of complete disgust on his face.

 _"Potters….Sinclair and Harry_ …."

"Does he mean us?" I ask.

Harry gives me a sideways glare,

"Who else would he mean?"

I match his glare,

"I live my life in an eternal state of hopefulness. Sue me."

" _See what I have become?_ " the face hisses. " _Mere shadow and vapor ... I have form only when I can share another's body... but there have always been those willing to let me into their hearts and minds... Unicorn blood has strengthened me, these past weeks... you saw faithful Quirrell drinking it for me in the forest... and once I have the Elixir of Life, I will be able to create a body of my own... Now... why don't you give me that stone in your pocket?"_ The face opens its red mouse eyes and stares at Harry.

I try to drag Harry backwards, away from Lady Voldepop Mc snake face. I believe that should be his full title by the way.

"Don't be fools," the face gets all snarly. "Better save your own life and join me... or you'll meet the same end as your parents... They died begging me for mercy. **..** "

Pain clenches in my stomach and Harry shouts,

"Liar!"

Squirrel starts walking towards us, but backwards so we can still see snake face.

"Back off snakey!" I move to stand just a little bit in front of Harry. No way will I let this arsehole hurt my brother.

" _How touching_..." Voldepop hisses again. " _I always value bravery... Yes, boys, your parents were brave... I killed your father first; and he put up a courageous fight... but your mother needn't have died... she was trying to protect you... Now give me the stone, unless you want her to have died in vain_."

"NEVER!" Harry yells.

Oh crikey, here we go.

Harry yanks on my shirt, pulling me back towards the door. Our not so great escape plan turns to dust when snake-face shrieks,

" _Seize them_!"

Squirrel manages to grab hold of Harry and pulls him away from me. Harry screams in anger and tries to fight him off. Pain like ice and fire mixed together strikes at my scar and I grit my teeth hard enough to crack them.

I go to save my brother, holding onto Harry's other arm and pulling. We manage to get Squirrel to let go and we both scramble away.

Squirrel starts screeching in agony then and I realise he's actually in pain. His hands are practically smoking, the burns on them fresh from where he touched Harry. What the bloody hell?

" _Seize them! SEIZE THEM_!" Snake-face shouts.

Squirrel lunges at us, managing to take Harry down again. Harry takes the stone out of his pocket and throws it in my general direction. By some miracle I catch it and stuff the stone into my pocket. Squirrel wraps his hands around Harry's throat and starts screaming in agony again.

Harry screams too, and his forehead starts to bleed. A sudden piercing pain shoots through my forehead again, and this time it's even more powerful. I clutch at my forehead, trying to see through the white hot fire blazing inside my head. I can barely breathe from the intensity of it.

I run forward and kick Squirrel in the face, forcing him to let go of Harry. I drag Harry to his feet and shove him behind me.

Squirrel comes after me then, his eyes full of hatred and rage. I act on instinct and take out my wand. God knows what my burning mind plans to do with it.

I point my wand at Squirrel and yell,

" _STREPITO_!"

A shot of silver light comes out of my wand and hits Squirrel square in the chest. He goes flying backwards across the room and smashes into the mirror. Power runs through me like electricity and my whole body comes alive.

My heart thrums with pure magic. It's incredible.

Harry grabs hold of me, blood running down over his face. I feel the same wet hotness leaking down over my forehead. Harry looks pale and worn out, but ok for the most part.

"We have to get out!" Harry says to me, already tugging me over to the door with stumbled steps.

I follow after him, but before we can reach the door again, out of the corner of my eye I see Squirrel take out his own wand.

" _KILL THEM YOU FOOL!"_ Snake-face screams.

Squirrel snarls at us and aims his wand at me. He shouts,

" **C** **anis ignem**!"

A shot of red magic comes flying towards me, but at the last minute Harry shoves me out of way. The spell hits the edge of his arm and he yells out in pain. I see a deep gash on his arm as he falls to his knees.

I reach out towards him shouting,

"NO!"

Squirrel stalks towards us then, a look of triumph in his eyes. He aims his wand at me and says,

"Give me the stone!"

But Harry comes up from behind and jumps on Squirrel's back, pressing his hands into his face. Both of them start screaming, and that same endless pain attacks my scar. I run forward and take all of us down in a heap on the ground.

Squirrel shrieks again when I press my hands onto his face alongside Harry's. His face burns and crackles like it's being pressed directly into an open fire. His skin becomes liquid beneath my fingers. Snake face is still screaming,

" ** _KILL THEM! KILL THEM_** _!_ "

The pain in my head becomes unbearable, but I don't stop. I manage to meet Harry's eyes over Squirrel's shoulder. Blood from my scar sting my eyes, but I still don't look away from my brother. My twin.

I feel something dig into my chest and a burst of hot pain makes my side go numb. Snake-face starts laughing, manic laughter that makes my brain buzz.

" **DIE DIE DIE!"** He laughs even as Squirrel's body is destroyed.

"Sinclair!" Harry screams as I fall backwards, my head hitting the stone step.

I try desperately to hold on to something tangible, but the mind-numbing pain is too much and darkness descends on my world.

** Ever's P.O.V **

"You can go in now, but only for five minutes!" Madam Pom pom says strictly.

We all ignore her and go running full pelt into the hospital wing. She yells at us to stop running like demented mice.

My heart contracts painfully inside my chest when I see both Harry and Sinclair sitting up in bed. Draco and I rush to Sinclair's side and practically attack him with our love.

Dumblebumble is standing off to the side watching all of us, but I don't care about that.

Draco climbs onto the bed next to Sinclair and takes his hand, a fierce look in his moonlight eyes. He's been going crazy for the last few days. Fear and concern turned him into a mini tornado of insanity. It got to the point where he was practically threatening anyone who got between him and Sinclair.

I lean in and kiss Sinclair, holding his face in my hands. He laughs as I wrap my arms around him and squeeze, but not too hard. I don't want him to bleed to death from his battle wound.

When I finally pull back Sin is smiling. He looks pale and tired, but otherwise not too banged up. Apart from the obvious. Madam Pomp pom and her team have been working tirelessly to heal Sinclair's stab wound. Squirrel got him with a dagger to chest.

We really thought he might die at one point, and even the thought of Sin dying made me want to scream and cry and possibly destroy something.

I look over at Harry, who is surrounded by Hermione and Ron. He's watching me too, and I have the strangest urge to touch him. We almost lost Harry too, although not quite as dramatically. Sinclair must see the look in my eyes, because he gives me a little push towards his brother.

I move over to Harry and he smiles shyly up at me. I lean down and whisper in his ear,

"You scared me."

Harry shifts closer to me, apparently ignoring Hermione and Ron's questioning looks. He whispers to me,

"Sorry. Won't do it again."

I roll my eyes at that,

"Liar." I whisper back and I kiss his cheek.

Harry blushes and I skip back over to Sinclair's bed, planting myself next to Sin's legs. I try to contain a smirk as I see Draco's and Sin's hands intertwine. They're pressed together, as close as they could possibly be.

"Hey Drake," Sinclair says to Draco, who is still looking at Sin like he's the answer to every important question in the world.

"See what happens when you go into danger without me," Draco says, gesturing at Sin's bandages.

Sin smiles at Draco and lifts his hand to ruffle Draco's blond hair.

"I like your hair today."

Draco gives Sin an exasperated look, but he can't hide the smile on his face.

"Your eyes are rubbish." He teases.

Sin gasps dramatically and shoves Draco slightly, since his strength is at zero right now.

"Mean. I'm injured, you have to be nice to me."

Draco pretends to consider it, titling his head from side to side,

"Hmmmm, oh alright then. Your eyes are nice. They sparkle."

I snort out a laugh. Sin flicks Draco's now fucked up fringe and says,

"Shut it, blondie."

"We were so worried!" Hermione says to Harry.

"The whole school is talking about it!" Ron says, "What really happened?"

Harry and Sinclair exchange a glance full of tension. Then they tell us the whole story between them. It all sounds like complete madness to me.

"So, basically, Voldepop was living on the back of Squirrel's head all this time. Phil's stone has been destroyed. You kicked Squirrely/Voldepoppy's arse. That about sum it up?" I say.

"Pretty much, yeah." Sinclair says with a nod.

"What happened to you four?" Harry asks us.

"Well," Draco says, "We realised that the floaty head had tricked us, and so we went back to get help because the floaty head was being all cryptic and shit about what was beyond the green fire wall-"

"Then we ran into Dumbledore and he just said 'they've gone after him, haven't they?', and then he dashed past us to go save you." Hermione finishes.

"D'you think he meant you to do it?" says Ron. "Sending you your father's cloak and everything?"

"That's completely mental if he did," I say, not disguising the anger in my tone, "you both could have died."

Harry shakes his head and says,

"He's a funny man, Dumbledore. I think he sort of wanted to give us a chance. I think he knows more or less everything that goes on here, you know. I reckon he had a pretty good idea we were going to try, and instead of stopping us, he just taught us enough to help. I don't think it was an accident he let me find out how the mirror worked. It's almost like he thought Sinclair and I had the right to face Voldemort if we could..."

"Speak for yourself, crazy head," Sinclair says wryly, "I still think Dumblebumble is bonkers. Manipulative, sure, but still as insane as a box of chocolate frogs on meth."

Madam Pom Pom bustles over then and snips,

"Right, you've all had long enough. Out. All of you." She gives Draco a particularly stern look.

Draco just stares back at her, unmoving and indifferent to her opinion. I share a look of knowing amusement with Sinclair. We both know Draco's stubborn face, and he's pulling it big time right now.

I manage to drag Draco away, whispering into his ear that we'll sneak back later during the feast. Apparently Harry is allowed to go, but Sin's is still on need of peace and bedrest. If Madam Pom pom had her way then Sin would probably stay in that bed all summer. Actually, he might prefer that too.

…

Later on we really do sneak back, quite literally, super secret spy stylie.

Wow, try saying that ten times fast.

Draco and I kidnapped the invisibility cloak and used it to get past the gate keeper a.k.a Madam Pom pom. She's gone off with the rest of the teachers to the feast now though, so me and Draco can come out of hiding.

We throw the invisi-cloak off with dramatic flare, and Sin almost has a panic attack. In fact he throws a cup at us. It hits Draco right in the face, and I almost fall off the bed laughing so hard.

"You lunatics!" Sin says, pulling an affronted face.

Draco is still rubbing at his face. He pouts in Sin's direction and points at him accusingly,

"You beast!"

That starts me off laughing again, and eventually Sin starts laughing too. Draco looks between us in disgruntled annoyance and says,

"You two suck as friends."

"We are amazing friends, and you know it!" I say, giving Draco a light shove.

Sin tries to move to get up, but when he winces in pain, Draco and I go to sit on his bed so he won't have to.

I pat his arm and help him sit back against the pillow,

"Now you sit still, Sin. We don't want you bleeding out all over us. You know Draco will nark on me for murder and then I'll have to go to Wizard prison. I won't survive in there, I don't have the street cred to pull it off."

"We call it Azkaban," Draco says, rolling his eyes at me.

"I like how he doesn't deny that he would grass you up to the wizard cops." Sin says with a small grin.

"What's Azkabutt?" I ask Draco.

Draco frowns at me,

"It's Azka ** _ban_**."

"That's what I just said." I say, giving him a 'wtf' look.

Sin stifles some heavy snickering behind his hand.

Draco narrows his eyes in annoyance, but doesn't rise to the bait. Instead he explains,

"Azkaban is a prison for Witches and Wizards."

"Is that where the wizard cops live?" Sin asks with almost a straight face.

"If you're both just going to be ridiculous then I shant speak with you," Draco says, crossing his arms and turning slightly away.

He doesn't mean it. He wuvs us.

I throw my arms around Draco's shoulders and drag him back over Sin's lap. We're careful not to crush Sin with our fierce cuddle. Sin laughs even as Draco struggles to escape.

Eventually I can't put off asking anymore what I really want to ask.

"Sin?"

Sinclair looks at me,

"Yeah?"

I bite my lip for a moment, unsure how exactly to word the question.

"What….what was it like? Meeting Voldepop I mean? You know **_really_**?"

Sinclair's expression freezes for a moment, and then it turns bleak. I feel bad for asking, but I think maybe Sin needs to talk about it too.

Draco has stopped struggling now and he's looking up at Sinclair with rapt attention.

"It was terrifying," Sin tells us, "He was so….otherworldly. The way he laughed…it was manic. Crazy. Completely bat-shit crazy. The thought of a man like that having so much power…" Sin shudders and closes his eyes tightly.

"Is he gone for good now?" Draco asks in a quiet voice.

Sin shakes his head,

"No. Dumbledore said he could come back."

"So it's not over?" I say, more to myself than to Sin.

Sinclair's jaw hardens a flash of green fire in his eyes. He says darkly,

"No. I think it's only just begun."


	12. The toilet of secrets: One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER. AT ALL. LIKE NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT. I PROMISE. BUT JK ROWLING DOES, SO, YAY FOR HER. ;)

** Sinclair's P.O.V **

"That's the third time this week!" The angry hippo shouts at me and my twin, "If you two can't control those bloody owls, then they'll have to go!"

Our uncle is getting all pissy because Voldebert and Hedbog decided to have a screaming contest in the middle of the night. Again.

Harry practically tackled me to death when I joined in.

Fucking owls. I hope an elephant eats them. Or Dudley. Same thing really.

Harry suddenly turns into an owl rights activist and says,

"They're both bored. They're used to being able to fly around all the time, if we could just let them out of their cages-"

The angry hippo spits out,

"Do I look stupid?"

I open my mouth to provide the obvious correct answer to that question, but Harry kicks my leg hard under the table. He's so ruddy violent. I'll get him done for TBH. Twin bodily harm. I turn to glare at Harry, but he's still giving the angry hippo a pleading look and apparently ignoring me.

Prat.

"I know what will happen if those owls are let out!" The angry hippo continues. I try not to throw a paper towel at his face just so I won't have to watch him get his breakfast all stuck in his thick moustache.

The angry hippo and Moody Margaret exchange sickly looks of despair.

Harry tries in vain to argue, even though it's pointless. It always is with this lot.

The hungry hungry hippo suddenly lets out a loud burp, as is his signature catchphrase. Our cousin is a tubby little shit, and he would be my greatest enemy if he weren't such an idiot. You can't fight stupid, because stupid is too stupid to know that it's stupid. That's the bloody paradox of it.

The hungry hungry hippo says,

"I want more bacon."

Of course you do. Next time why don't we just buy him a cow and watch him devour it like a snake. Wow, great, now I'm gonna have even more nightmares.

"There's more in the frying pan, sweetums," Moody Margaret says, looking lovingly at her fatty spawn. "We must build you up while we've got the chance... I don't like the sound of that school food..."

"Nonsense, Petunia, I never went hungry when I was at Smeltings," the angry hippo says heartily. "Dudley gets enough, don't you, son?"

The hungry hungry hippo grins, which makes me want to smack him. How his parents resist the urge is beyond me.

"Pass the frying pan." He says to Harry.

The hungry hungry hippo never asks me for anything. Not anymore. It turns out that despite Harry being the one with the more explosive temper, I apparently like to fight. My cousin and I have had our fair share of tussles, all of which were blamed on me of course. I once punched him so hard that his nose cracked. He paid me back with some cracked ribs. That was one crazy funeral.

"You've forgotten the magic word," Harry says to the hungry hungry hippo.

Oh, that shit stirrer.

BAD MOVE! ABORT! ABORT!

The angry hippo and Moody Margaret gasp and start sputtering at each other like pigeons. Actually, no, that's really quite offensive.

To the pigeons.

"I meant please!" Harry tries to say, "I didn't-"

"WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU," the angry hippo snarls, spraying spit over the table, "ABOUT SAYING THE 'M' WORD IN OUR HOUSE?"

I turn to my brother with a mock scolding look on my face,

"Yeah Harry, you bint, you can't just go around calling people midgets. It's not politically correct."

Harry slaps a hand over his eyes and peers at me through his fingers,

"Why do you always wait for the worst possible moment to let words fall out of your face?"

I shrug at him,

"I have a gift."

"BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP!" Thunders the angry hippo. He points a meaty finger at Harry, "HOW DARE YOU THREATEN DUDLEY!"

Again I turn to my brother and say,

"Yeah, Harry," I gesture at the hungry hungry hippo, "whales are endangered you know."

"Oh my God no," Harry groans.

The angry hippo's face has gone all puffy and red, he looks about ready to explode. He pounds the table with his fist and shouts at us,

"I WARNED YOU BOTH! I WILL NOT TOLERATE ANY MENTION OF YOUR ABNORMALITIES UNDER THIS ROOF!"

I open my mouth to speak again. Harry gives me a death glare and hisses,

"Don't you _dare_."

Screw that noise.

I look up at the angry hippo and say,

"That's not a very nice thing to say." I gesture at Harry, "He was born with that face."

Harry is glaring at me with full on glaritude now.

"That doesn't even make sense, Sinclair, you have the same face." He grumbles.

"Says you." I imitate one of Draco's haughty sniffs.

Pulling. It. Off.

I could so be a snobby rich person.

The angry hippo looks frantically between us, a furious expression on his face. It would be quite frightening if I hadn't already met the most frightening creature imaginable.

Voldebert.

Harry makes placating gestures with his hands,

"We're sorry, Uncle Vernon. Ok."

Sorry for what exactly? Being born? Oh yes, how rude of us. Don't you just hate it when someone has the audacity to exist?

The angry hippo sits down slowly, apparently somewhat mollified.

Ever since Harry and I got back from Hogbarts the angry hippo and co have been even more terrible than usual. And that's really saying something. Our aunt seems genuinely afraid of us, which wouldn't be so bad except she keeps snapping at us from afar and giving us fearful looks like we might jump her at any moment.

But however much they might hate having us here, it couldn't possibly compare to how much we hate _being_ here. I never thought it possible but I really do miss school. I miss my friends, my classes, doing magic. I even miss the bad stuff, like Garfields lover throwing bars of soap at us for walking mud through his halls. And maybe enchanting his mops to dance the 'cha cha'.

As soon as we arrived back at the Dursley's, they took all of mine and Harry's spellbooks, cauldrons, broomsticks, and wands, and locked them away under the stairs. For a while I wondered if they'd lock us back up in there too, along with all the other 'freak stuff'. The angry hippo even padlocked Voldebert and Bedwig in their cages, refusing to let them out. I believe they deserve it, the evil creatures, but it upsets Harry, so that pisses me off.

Bubbles, my cat, isn't allowed out either. He has to stay in my room all day. His favourite place to sleep is my pillow. We couldn't fit two beds in the hungry hungry hippo's second bedroom, so we just have a massive mattress. Harry and I are used to sleeping in close quarters so it's not really a problem.

I do usually end up being kicked out of the bed by Harry though, or with a grey fluffy cat sleeping on my face.

The strange thing is that we haven't received any post from our friends. Obviously we've been banned from sending letters ourselves. Although I actually managed to get hold of Ever on the phone, luckily she gave me her number. Apparently she's been sending letters, but for whatever reason they haven't come through. I asked if she's received anything from Draco and she told me that they'd been writing to each other every few days at least and that Draco had been writing to me too.

Weird, really weird. Something's obviously going on, but before I could ask any more questions the angry hippo caught me on the phone and snatched it away. He yelled a lot, and I was banned from ever touching the phone again.

When Harry asked I told him that Hermione had been sending him letters. Ever even received a letter from _Ron_ , so it's a pretty good bet that he's been sending them to Harry as well.

I'm snapped out of my thoughts suddenly when the angry hippo starts blubbering on again. He says,

"Now, as we all know, today is a very important day."

I see Harry eye our uncle with a slight look of surprise, and I supress a wince. Today is our twelfth birthday, and just like all the others the day of our birth is being ignored by the Dursley's. I didn't expect anything else from them.

Luckily Harry and I have each other to remember our birthday, and we celebrated the same way we always do, by building a fort and raiding the cookie cupboard in the kitchen. The hungry hungry hippo eats so many treats that Moody Maragaret won't notice as long as we don't do it often.

The angry hippo blubbers on,

"This could well be the day I make the biggest deal of my career."

Blah blah blah, blubble blubble blubble.

The angry hippo is having a hungry hippo tournament, or a dinner party, whatever you want to call it. Anyway, he's pretty keyed up about the whole thing because the people coming over tonight could really help with his business if all goes swimmingly.

"I think we should run through the schedule one more time," the angry hippo says. "We should all be in position at eight o'clock. Petunia, you will be -?"

Standing there looking like a scared string bean.

"In the lounge," Moody Margaret says promptly, "waiting to welcome them graciously to our home."

Bleh.

The angry hippo beams at his wife. Double bleh.

"Good, good. And Dudley, you will-?"

Be picking his nose and dithering about like the toss pot he was born to be.

"I'll be waiting to open the door." The hungry hungry hippo puts on a funky, sneering smile. "May I take your coats, Mr. and Mrs. Mason?"

I hope Mr Mason falls on him. Although he'd probably just bounce right back up.

"They'll love him!" cries Moody Margaret delightedly.

Good, then maybe they'll adopt him and we can all get on with our lives.

"Excellent, Dudley," says the angry hippo. Then he rounds on me and Harry. "And you two?"

Harry slaps a hand over my mouth and says tonelessly,

"We'll be in our bedroom, making no noise and pretending we don't exist."

I lick Harry's hand and he still doesn't move his hand away. Damn, that never works on him anymore. I wish I had a sister, it would always work on a girl. Girls hate spit, they really do. I swear its science or some shit. Biology? Numeracy? No wait that's math.

Harry does move his hand away when I bite him, and I say,

"If it helps, feel free to extend the whole 'we don't exist' thing after tonight. We won't mind."

Like it would make a difference. Actually yes it would, because then the angry hippo wouldn't yell at us and I could use the fucking phone to call Ever back.

"Don't get smart with me boy!" The angry hippo snaps at me.

"Well someone has to be the smart one between us. Don't get annoyed just because I staked my claim first." I say casually.

Harry cringes next to me, but doesn't say anything.

The angry hippo narrow his little mouse eyes at me,

"Look here you little freak, I've put up with enough of your backtalk. The Masons don't know anything about you and it's going to stay that way. You and your brother will stay in that room all night and I better not hear a peep out of either of you."

I want to argue back, but Harry's giving me that 'please shut up' look, and so all I do is roll my eyes and sit back in my seat.

The angry hippo apparently seems pleased with my silence because he goes on to say,

"When dinner's over, you take Mrs. Mason back to the lounge for coffee, Petunia, and I'll bring the subject around to drills. With any luck, I'll have the deal signed and sealed before the news at ten. Be shopping for a vacation home in Majorca this time tomorrow."

Oh my God, I hope they leave us here. I don't trust them not to 'accidentally lose' me and Harry whilst abroad.

Actually, I take that back, I hope they do take us to Majorca so we can 'accidentally get lost' and go live on the beach in a cave or something.

"Right - I'm off into town to pick up the dinner jackets for Dudley and me. And you," the angry hippo snarls at me and Harry. "You two stay out of your aunt's way while she's cleaning."

After that wonderful example of domestic bliss Harry and I go outside. We sit together on the garden bench. It's a really nice day, which is one plus. Even if the rest of it is kind of a shitstorm.

"Don't get all morose," I say to my brother. He looks miserable and that makes me feel miserable. It's not on. "We'll be back at school soon enough."

"But our friends-" Harry tries to protest.

"Our friends have been writing to us. I'm sure of it. Ever said so and she wouldn't lie." I say with as much conviction in my voice as possible.

"Then why haven't we gotten the letters?" Harry slumps down on the bench.

"Alright, no need to pout," I roll my eyes at him, "They've just gotten lost somewhere along the way. Or maybe they went to the wrong house by accident. There's tons of reasons why we might not be getting the letters."

"I guess," Harry finally relents, but I can tell that he's still not happy.

After a long bout of silence I ask,

"You're not upset about the birthday thing, right? You know how they are." I nod at the house when I say 'they'.

Harry turns to me with a dark expression on his face,

"I know, I know. But it's not just that. I keep having dreams about Voldemort. He's still out there."

I wince internally at that, and my side aches with the ghost of pain from where I got stabbed. I'm all healed up now, but there's a pale jagged scar just beneath my chest. I nudge Harry,

"I get it. You know I do. I have dreams too." I smile slightly, "But now I'm one up on you because I have _two_ scars from Lady Voldepop."

Harry tries not to, I can see it in his face, but he can't seem to stop himself from barking out a laugh. He nudges me back a little bit harder,

"You're such a weirdo, Sinclair." But Harry's smiling as he says it.

"Don't get upset just because I'm gonna be the favourite hero twin from now on." I tease with a purposeful flick of my ebony hair. It's grown a little longer over the summer, and now the ends curl over my ears.

Both Harry and I laugh at that. Neither of us is entirely comfortable with our supposed fame. It's the one thing we have in common these days.

I blink in surprise when I see two big green eyes staring out at us from a bush. I tap Harry's shoulder and point, but when I look back the eyes are gone. Harry gives me a questioning look. But before I can tell him what I saw, the hungry hungry hippo comes swaddling up to us and says,

"I know what day it is."

"What?" Harry says distractedly.

"I know what day it is." The hungry hungry hippo repeats.

Harry and I exchange a look, and then I start slow hand clapping. Harry smirks a little and says,

"Well done. You finally know the days of the week."

"One gold star to you," I add.

"Today's your birthdays," the hungry hungry hippo sneers at us. "How come you haven't got any cards? Haven't you even got friends at that freak place?"

"Yes," I say, "but they're all invisible. We're actually having a party right now, you just can't see it with your tiny muggle mind."

Harry shakes his head at me,

"I can't decide whether you're spending too much time with Malfoy, or he's spending too much time with you."

I poke my tongue out at him.

The hungry hungry hippo asks suspiciously,

"Why were you staring at that bush?"

I narrow my eyes at him and reply,

"I was attempting to enchant it into eating Harry."

The hungry hungry hippo looks immediately frightened and backs away quickly.

"You c-can't - Dad told you you're not to do m-magic - he said he'll chuck you both out of the house - and you haven't got anywhere else to go - you haven't got any friends to take you-"

Harry and I share a grin. I start making wiggly finger movements and Harry chants,

"Hubble bubble toil and trouble!"

"Hocus pocus!" I shout with an evil cackle.

"MUM!" The hungry hungry hippo whines. He turns around and jogs back to the house. "Mum! They're doing the 'm' word!"

Harry and I laugh so hard that we fall off the bench and land in a heap on the floor, still laughing hysterically.

Of course we pay dearly for our fun not long after. Moody Margaret aims a frying pan at us, and we get ordered to clean the entire house, including the windows, floors and the angry hippo's car. It's not an uncommon occurrence. Me and Harry usually get stuck doing the housework whilst the hungry hungry hippo lounges about doing his favourite activity; eating.

Moody tells us we can't eat until we're finished cleaning, so we hurry the hell up. If we aren't done in time, we'll be going to bed without tea. Again. Oh the agony of being twelve and partially incarcerated.

When the time comes Harry and I are shoo'd upstairs. More warnings follow us, which we both ignore. To be fair, we'd rather be up here just the two of us, than down there with the family that despises our existence enough to actually hide us from guests.

But, when we get to our room and close the door behind us, we realise rather quickly that it isn't just the two of us at all.

** Ever's P.O.V **

"Ruddy hell, Weasley, I knew you were poor as daises, but you could have at least cleaned the backseat." Draco complains, although there's more of a teasing edge to it than anything scornful.

Even so Ron pokes his tongue out at Draco in the rear view mirror and says,

"Shut it, Malfoy, or I'll leave you here."

Draco opens his mouth, most likely to say something else scathing, so I bop him on the head. He turns an outraged look on me and I just shrug,

"Come on, Zaco, don't get your panties in a twist. We have a rescue mission to complete. Behave. For Sinclair."

Draco's expression softens at that and sighs heavily, leaning back into his seat. He nods slowly and we clasp hands,

"Alright, for Sinclair."

"Are we going or not? I don't like this at all, it seems too dangerous!" Hermione panicks from the front seat.

Ron waves dissmisively and says,

"Nah, it'll be fine."

Draco leans forward a bit and asks Ron,

"Weasley, do you actually know how to fly this thing?"

Ron turns an affronted look on him and says,

"Of course I bloody do. Just sit back and prepare yourselves for a ride of a lifetime."

Draco and I exchange a worried look. I shuffle a bit closer on the back seat and whisper,

"I think we're about to die."

Draco scoffs and whispers back,

"Why are we letting Ron Weasley drive the flying car again?"

I shrug,

"Because he's the only one who's driven a flying car before." Or any kind of car actually now that I think about it.

"Ah, that'll be it. Don't worry, we can always sue." Draco says.

I snort out a laugh,

"Sue? What exactly will we get out of that? Ron's rat?"

Draco makes a flipping motion with his hand,

"Good point. Well made."

Ok, lets back up a minute. I'll give you lot the basic run down of the situation.

Once I realised Sinclair and Harry weren't actually receiving our letters, I told Draco. He was immediately worried, the same as me. We weren't sure what to do at first. Draco suggested getting the ministry involved, but we dashed that idea straight away. We had no proof that Harry and Sinclair were in any danger. We couldn't tell Draco's parents because they'd already been giving Draco grief about being friends with Sinclair at all. And me for that matter. Obviously my own mother was useless to tell, she'd barely left her bed all summer.

So we eventually decided that we needed to save Sinclair the old fashioned way. By lying through our teeth, escaping from home, and recusing him using our own resources. Despite Draco's protests I brought Hermione and Ron in on it, mostly so that they could focus on Harry.

Through letters we all agreed to meet up secretly in Diagon Alley. For Hermione and I it was pretty simple to pack our things, shrink them using a magic TARDIS bag I'd bought previously from Diagon Alley, just in case, and then sneak away. I doubt our mother will notice for at least a day or two. Hermione obviously didn't like it, but I reasoned that saving our friends is more important than having moral fibre in this situation.

For Ron and Draco it was a little more difficult for them to get away. Draco pretended to be going round to Blaise's in the end, having packed and shrunk his own stuff much like I did the night before.

Ron had to pretend to need something in Diagon Alley, and then he basically bribed the twins into helping him.

When we met up, after about an hour of bickering, Ron suggested the idea of using the flying car. He meant it as a joke, but I immediately jumped on it. I just couldn't stand the thought of Sinclair, or Harry, being in that awful place one minute longer. Sin told me enough stories about the Dursley's for me to know how terrible it is there.

So anyway, long story sort of short, we have now kidnapped the Weasley's flying car and we're off to rescue the Potters!

When Ron actually starts up the car and we lift off into the air I almost have a fucking heart attack. Draco and I practically jump into each others arms. I clutch at him for a while until the car evens out a bit in the air.

I scoot over to the window and look out.

Fantastic! We're actually flying!

The view is amazing. I say so to Draco, but he resolutely stays in the middle of the car's back seat.

"Oh, look, it's incredible Zaco!" I try again to pull him closer to the window.

Draco fights me off and crosses his arms,

"Nope. I don't mind flying a broom, because I'm in control, but I do not need to be reminded of how far up we are right now since Weasley is the one driving!"

"Oi!" Ron complains.

"Concentrate on the road!" Hermione scolds him.

"There is no bloody road!" Ron shouts back.

"I think she meant metaphorically," I say, still staring out of the window in awe.

It really is wicked cool. I would very much recommend getting a flying car if you don't have one.

When we arrive at the Potter residence it becomes clear pretty quickly that something is seriously wrong. I'd like to say it was a general feeling of unease, or something magical. But really the bars on the window were a pretty big tip off.

Luckily for us Sinclair and Harry heard the engine of the car. Ron parks up as close to the window as he can manage without crashing into the house. I might need to bake Ron a muffin if this all works out. But, hell, there's still a long way to go.

"Draco! Ever!" Sinclair's face lights up at the sight of us. He opens the window through the bars.

"How...I mean...what the hell?" Harry asks, gesturing at the car in disbelief.

"Grand theft auto!" I wink at the brothers.

Draco is grinning so hard at Sinclair that I could almost call it dazzling. Sinclair appears equally as ecstatic to see us.

"Please tell me you've come to stage a rescue attempt," Sinclair says hopefully.

"Well we didn't come all this way just to say 'hi'," Draco replies drolly.

"But how are gonna get these bars off, you can't use magic," Harry says.

Draco smirks and moves closer to the open window,

"Ha! Maybe you lot can't, but I have a magic silencer on my wand. The ministry won't be able to detect fuck all."

Ron gasps and says,

"But those are illegal!"

"So's stealing a fucking flying car, Weasley!" Draco snaps back impatiently, "Now shut up so I can blast stuff."

"Move away from the window," I say to the twins brothers as Draco takes out his wand.

Both Harry and Sinclair quickly scramble back from the window, disappearing into the darkness of their room. Draco expression becomes one of intense concentration as he aims his wand at the bars on the window and says,

" _I_ _llucescente_!"

There's a surprisingly quiet explosion and then the bars fall right off and into the bushes below. I clap joyfully and give Draco a hug around the shoulders,

"Yes! That was so cool, Zaco!"

Draco grins proudly, or maybe smugly, and calls out to Sinclair and Harry,

"Let's get going then!"

"Grab your stuff!" Ron says.

Sinclair and Harry come into view again, both of them looking unsure.

"Our school things are locked up downstairs." Harry says almost apologetically.

"No worries, we'll get it." I say reassuringly.

"What? We will?" Draco quriks an eyebrow at me.

"Well yeah, someone's got to break the lock and you're the only one with the silencer." I say. The 'duh' is implied.

"Ah right. Ok. But I'm not brilliant at stealth mode." Draco says with a shrug.

"That's why I'm coming. Unicorns make the best ninja's."

"Tru dat," Sinclair says with a serious nod at me.

Draco and I climb in through the window. I fling my arms around Sinclair's neck and drag him into a hug. He returns the hug enthusicatically and holds onto me tightly. I only let go when Draco tries to join us. I let them have their own embrace. They clutch onto each other like they've been apart for years instead of just weeks.

I come face to face with Harry, and my heart kicks in my chest. His emerald green eyes almost appear to shine in the darkness. He smiles tentatively down at me and I smile back.

"Good to see you, Harry."

Harry blushes when I touch his hand, if only for a short moment. He surprises me though by taking my hand and squeezing it once. A shot of something shit and fizzy zings through my insides at the contact. Weird.

Harry and Sinclair get to work shifting both Hedwig and Voldebert into the flying car. Sinclair climbs into the car holding onto a sleeping Bubbles.

Draco uses his wand to unlock the bedroom door, and we quietly make our way downstairs in the dark. We don't want to risk turning on the light just in case it wakes up the rest of the house.

When we get to the cupboard Draco uses the same unlocking charm to break the padlock. We shrink everything using my trusty TARDIS bag.

"They used to sleep in here you know." I say, and the very thought makes me furious. I almost wish their aunt and uncle would wake up just so I could curse them with something foul.

Draco's expression hardens,

"Bloody monsters. They don't deserve Sinclair."

"Agreed." I say darkly.

We make our way back upstairs just in time to hear the distinct sounds of Voldebert screeching, and Sinclair yelling,

"TRAITOR! BAD OWL!"

But it's too late, a voice like thunder yells from somewhere else in the house.

"ITS THAT BLOODY PIGEON AGAIN!"

Oh shit.

Draco and I run to the window. Sinclair is hissing at Voldebert to shut up, whilst Harry has Bubbles curled up on his head. Ron is revving the engine, and Hermione is gesturing at us to hurry up.

We clamber ungracefully out of the window and try to stuff ourselves into the back seat of the car along with Harry, Sinclair, two owls and a cat. It's a bit of a squeeze. I end up in Harry's lap with Hedwig next to us, and Draco manages to clamber half on top of Sinclair.

Harry holds me securely around the waist, and I lean over to close the car door. Just in time too because that's when Uncle twatwaffle comes huffing in. He starts yelling and cursing at us through the window. I bang on the back of Ron's seat and shout,

"DRIVE! DRIVE MAN DRIVE!"

Ron revs up the engine again and we shoot off jerkily, leaving the muggle house behind.

"Yes!" Sinclair fist pumps the air. Harry laughs, and I feel it vibrate through his body.

"WE DID IT!" Draco shouts above the screeching of Voldebert and Hedwig.

MISSION POTTER RESCUE COMPLETE!


	13. The toilet of secrets: Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER. AT ALL. LIKE NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT. I PROMISE. BUT JK ROWLING DOES, SO, YAY FOR HER. ;)

** Ever's P.O.V **

"Let Hedwig out," Harry says, "She can fly behind us. She hasn't had a chance to stretch her wings for ages."

Draco reaches across and unlocks Hedwig's cage with a flick of his wand. The cage door falls open and we lean back so that Hedwig can fly out of the window. She floats alongside the car gracefully.

We all look expectantly at Sinclair, waiting for him to say the same about Voldebert. Sin pretends to ignore our looks for a while, but then rolls his eyes and says,

"Fine, let the evil beast fly free. But don't blame me when Voldebert murders you all later. She will not appreciate your loyalty."

I snicker behind my hand even as Draco goes to open Voldebert's cage. We all realise our mistake the moment Voldebert's cage door falls off its hinges. Voldebert bursts out of that cage like a bat escaping from hell.

It reminds me of my own bat, Kevin. I already sent him to Hogwarts ahead of time so he wouldn't need to be squished in a car with the common folk. Or the ruddy peasants, if you're being accurate. Kevin is a mighty and majestic creature, he does not suffer fools easily.

Ironically the only person Kevin seems to like, apart from me, is Draco. I personally believe that's because they have similar levels of haughtiness ingrained into them.

Anyway, we all end up screaming when Voldebert can't find the bloody window and starts half-flying half-attacking the air inside the car. The dastardly demon bird screeches and shrieks the whole time like a banshee. Voldebert even flaps into the front at one point and Ron screams with a face full of owl arse feathers.

Voldebert is eventually corralled toward the open window. The bloody evil owl has the audacity to give us a smug owly look of distaste before flying off into the darkness.

Everyone is silent for a long moment. My heart is racing from the semi-violent owl escape.

Sinclair settles back in his seat and smirks at us. He says snarkily,

"See. Evil. Enough said."

There's another long pause, and then Draco says, with a surprising amount of decorum for a boy who was just bitch clawed by an owl,

"Alright, enough madness. Tell us what's been going on."

Sin huffs out a laugh and says,

"If an end to the madness if what you're after, then I don't think us telling you what happened is the way to go."

We all exchange looks of 'huh'.

"What do you mean?" I ask curiously.

Harry opens his mouth to speak, but Sinclair beats him to it,

"We were accosted!"

"By who?" Hermione's asks from the front. She turns in her seat to look at us.

"Was it the boogy man?" I ask excitedly.

"No!" Harry says, and his body jerks upright with indignation.

"Santa?" Draco guesses.

"No!"

"A shark?" Ron asks.

"No!"

" _Why_ would it be a shark?" Hermione says scornfully.

" _Why_ have we teamed up with _Draco Malfoy_ to kidnap-rescue the Potter twins? We could drive ourselves mad asking those kinds of questions." Ron says humourlessly.

"He was a bloody Gnome!" Sinclair announces suddenly.

"Elf. He was an Elf," Harry corrects with glare at his brother.

Sinclair waves a hand dismissively,

"Pfft, Gnome, Elf, same thing basically."

I hold my hands up and say,

"Wait….wait….you got attacked by a Gnome? For real."

"It was an Elf." Harry says firmly.

"First of all," Sinclair gives his twin a harsh look, "'it' is a _he._ Second of all sshhhhh, I'm trying to tell a story and you keep interrupting."

I can't see properly in the dark, and I'm pretty much led on top of him anyway, but I swear Harry gives Sinclair the look of impending doom. I laugh to myself and shift around a bit on Harry's lap so we're sort of accidentally snuggling. That shuts Harry up quite successfully, and he holds onto me a little tighter than is probably necessary.

Draco raises an eyebrow at me. I wink at him. Draco rolls his eyes and turns back to Sinclair.

"Go on then, what did the Gnome do?" I ask.

"Ok, was it a Gnome or was it an Elf," Ron calls from the front, "I'm getting confused."

"You're always confused Weasley, I thought you'd be used to the feeling by now," Draco says carelessly.

"I will toss you out of this bloody car, Malfoy!" Ron shouts angrily.

"Try it Weasley, I dare you!" Draco shouts back.

"Everyone calm the hell down!" I shout even louder. No one beats me in a shouting contest. I am Boss at shouting contests. Me and my mother only communicate through shouting contests, so I've had a lot of practice.

"Alright, do you want to hear about the Gnome or not?" Sinclair says crossly, "I'm only telling the story once."

We are all suddenly silent, and Sinclair takes that as his cue to start talking.

"Basically, a Gnome named Dobby has been stealing our post because he thinks we're not safe to go back to Hobnobs. He magicked a cake into falling onto a lady's head so the angry hippo would imprison us in our room."

"Sounds weird." I say after another long pause between the six of us.

"Wait wait…." Draco frowns suddenly and says, "Did you say his name was Dobby?"

"Yeah, why?"

Draco makes a face. He sighs and says,

"Dobby is one of my family's house elves."

"No way!" Harry sputters, "Why did one of your house elves try and protect us?"

Sinclair coughs loudly,

"Um, I think you mean why did one of your Gnomes nick our post and frame us for attacking a lady with cake?"

Draco's shoulders lift and then drop dramatically,

"I have no idea."

"Well that's not very helpful," Sinclair says. But when Draco starts to look upset, Sin gathers him up in a tight hug. I reach over as well and squeeze Draco's hand reassuringly.

"I'm sure there's a good explanation," I say, trying to sound sure even though I'm not.

We're all silent again for a while. At least no one is accusing Draco of anything. That would not end well, especially since he's the only one with a useable wand.

"So, does your Dad know you're using his flying car?" Harry asks suddenly, breaking through the thick tension surrounding us.

"Er, no," Ron admits sheepishly, "he had to work tonight. Hopefully we'll be able to get it back in the garage without Mum noticing we flew it."

"What does your Dad even do at the Ministry?" Hermione asks Ron.

Draco opens his mouth, clearly about to say something scathing to make himself feel better about the whole 'Gnome Dobby' situation. I give him a harsh look and pinch his hand warningly. He pulls a wounded expression at me, but I just raise an eyebrow sardonically. After a short staring championship Draco huffs and leans back against Sin.

Yes, EVER THE UNICORN IS THE UNBEATABLE STARING CONTEST CHAMPION! I try to do a victory dance, but Harry gets in the way and we end up sprawled on the seat.

Ron goes on talking like nothing has happened,

"My Dad works in the most boring department. The Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Office."

"The what-now?" I ask. Great, now _I'm_ confuzzled damn it.

"It's all to do with bewitching things that are Muggle-made, you know, in case they end up back in a Muggle shop or house. Like, last year, some old witch died and her tea set was sold to an antiques shop. This Muggle woman bought it, took it home, and tried to serve her friends tea in it. It was a nightmare - Dad was working overtime for weeks." Ron explains.

"What happened to the tea pot, did it have a dither-spaz because muggles dared to touch it?" Sinclair asks.

"Pretty much, yeah." Ron says with a shrug.

" _Epic_!" Sin and me say at the same time.

….

"You all look terrible." Blaise says as he leads us into the living room of his effing mansion.

Ron dropped Sinclair, Draco and me off at Blaise's, where Draco told his parents he's been all along. We took all of our magicky shit and left Harry and Hermione with theirs. Ron is sweeping them both off to the Burrow.

Harry wasn't pleased about letting Sinclair go 'swanning off' on his own, but Draco flatly refused to go and stay with the Weasley's. Ron flat out refused to make the offer in the first place. So all in all, we decided it was best if we came to Blaise's as originally planned.

Blaise's house is incredible, like seriously. His house has gargoyles for fuck sake. And not ironically either. I love it. If I'd known rich pureblood's had mansions right out of creepy horror movies then I would have demanded to be taken to one before now.

Draco gives Blaise a scolding look and says,

"So do you. We've been on a haggering rescue mission, what's your excuse?"

Blaise smirks at Draco, his dark eyes gleaming in a very Slytherin way,

"Well I suppose that's what you get for going off with _Gryffindor's_."

Draco's expression turns murderous and I decide that Blaise's teasing must be referencing another argument between him and Draco. I move myself between then and say,

"Alright, girls, no need to pull on each other pigtails. I'm exhausted, let's sit down at least."

Sinclair moves to flop down onto a very fancy looking sofa, snagging Blaise's arm and taking him along as well. I lower myself into a pretty white sofa seat that looks like it came out of a posh catalogue. Draco sits down on the other side of Sin, still looking a bit sulky.

Sin and I usually find that if we ignore Draco's moodiness then he'll eventually snap out of it. There's a long pause, and then Sin asks Blaise,

"Does your mother mind us staying here?"

Blaise shrugs one shoulder delicately and says,

"My mother would be fine with it. She isn't here right now though."

Draco gives Blaise a weird look. He says,

"My mother spoke with yours about me coming over."

Blaise nods uncaringly,

"Yes, my mother knows about you staying over until we leave for school tomorrow, but I didn't feel the need to inform her about our stowaways." Blaise looks pointedly and me and Sin.

I turn to Draco and ask,

"Will you need to go back with your parents so they can take you to the station?"

Draco frowns at me, making himself look even more like a wronged white haired fox.

"Why would I?"

I raise an eyebrow at him and say,

"Isn't your younger brother starting school this year?"

Draco groans and makes a face,

"Yes, he is. That's all the more reason to stay away. Scorpius has been driving me mental all summer. He won't stop chattering on about _you_ ," Draco lightly shoves Sin's shoulder.

Sin grins suddenly and shoves Draco back a bit harder, causing Draco to flail and almost fall off the sofa. Blaise and I hide our snickering.

"I like your brother, he's sweet." Sin says, with a teasing glint in his eye.

"Oh no," Draco says loudly, poking Sin in the chest, "You will _not_ befriend my annoying little brother! I forbid it!"

Sin rolls his eyes and says,

"You're being ridiculous. I'm sure your brother will make his own friends in Gryffindor."

I suck in a gasp. Draco gives Sin an incredulous look and says severely,

"You take that back! No brother of mine is going to be a Griff!"

Blaise and I start falling about laughing. Draco is making his unhappy bunny face. Sin holds his hands up in defence and says,

"Drake, I spent only a handful of hours in your brother's presence and I could already tell that there's no way he's gonna be in Slytherin."

Draco narrows his eyes and says,

"What do you mean? He's a Malfoy. All Malfoy's are in Slytherin."

Sin shakes his head,

"Pfftt, not this one Drake. Scorpius is kind, joyful and reckless. I mean I'm no fancy pantsy singing hat, but I'd say Scorpius is a shoe in for Gryffindor."

Draco shudders, actually _shudders_. He rolls his shoulders back and lets out an irritated breathe,

"Well, at least this will be the perfect excuse to disown him. I've been looking for a reason for years."

I throw a pillow at Draco's head,

"You hush your face. Be nice to your baby brother, Zaco."

Draco groans and throws himself backward on the sofa,

"But I don't _wanna_."

Sin laughs and leans over to play with Draco's hair. He says,

"You are such a whiner baby sometimes, mate."

Draco sits up suddenly and pretends to bite at Sin's hand.

"Yeah….well…." Draco pauses to think hard for a moment, "…...so's your face."

Draco looks to me, seeming rather pleased with himself. I point at Sin and say,

"BUUUURRRNNN! Oh my _God_ , you just got, like, so burned. Like, for realsies. Majorly burnafied."

Draco and I lean across to each other and high ten.

Blaise turns to Sin and says,

"See, this is the kind of madness I'm always talking to you all about."

Sin smirks a little and shrugs,

"And I'm always telling you, just roll with it."

"Rock and roll with it!" I exclaim excitedly, and I take out the IPod Sin got me for my birthday.

A few moments of fiddling later my black and pink penguin covered IPod starts playing the song 'Do you believe in magic?' by Ali & Ajay. All hell breaks loose when I grab hold of my Sin's and force him to dance with me.

He shows me his epic moves. I flutter around like a fairy pop star, singing at the top of my lungs along with the song. Sin may or may not have been singing too. Possibly.

The pureblood's on the sofa just stare at us. Draco in abject horror, and Blaise in defeated acceptance.

Blaise shakes his head and says to Draco,

"I take it back. _This_ is the kind of madness I was talking about."

** Sinclair's P.O.V **

"Floo powder? Now, come on, that sounds made up as shit." Ever says whilst inspecting the supposed 'floo powder'.

We all stayed the night at Blaise's. The mansion was so big that we could have had a room each. But we decided to bunk in together, grabbing loads of pillows and bedsheets to build a kind of sleeping tent. Our breakfast was brought to us by more Gnomes, just like when I stayed at Draco's for Christmas.

Blaise's mother was still a no show. If I hadn't seen the letters from Blaise's mother during school I would have started to think he was making her up.

Blaise waves at the fireplace,

"Well you're the one who needs to get your school stuff. We have to go to Diagon Alley, and this is the only way."

Ever makes an uncomfortable face and says,

"Well, actually, I was thinking me and dorkzilla could…share our books."

An even more uncomfortable silence follows.

I know that the Granger twins grew up without much money. Wizard crap is expensive too. Harry and I are just lucky that our parents left us money, or we'd be stuffed. No way would the Dursley's pay for anything that involved magic.

Draco scoffs, and I silently will him not to say anything insensitive.

"Rubbish! I'll pay for your stuff with my allowance."

Ever is shaking her head before Draco even finishes the sentence.

"No, Zaco, I can't ask you to do that. I don't want to take your money."

Draco waves the concerns away,

"Don't worry, you won't be. It's my parent's money."

"That's even worse!" Ever groans, "You parents hate me."

I can't stop myself from laughing at that one,

"Yeah, actually, just imagine the looks on their faces if they ever found out they were funding a muggleborn."

Blaise snorts out a laugh too,

"Oh, Mr Malfoy's head might explode!"

Draco smiles smugly,

"See, there you go."

"We'll all help pay, if that makes you feel better," I say, and Blaise nods along in agreement.

Ever crosses her arms and says firmly,

"I don't need three _boys_ to take care of me."

"We're not just three _boys_ ," I say with a frown, "We're your three boy- _friends_ who want to help you. You'd do the same for us, wouldn't you?"

"Of course I would, but-" Ever starts, but Draco cuts her off.

"Just let us do this for you, Dever. If you like, we can even say it's your early Christmas present from all of us."

Ever appears to look a little less guarded, and her body doesn't seem as tense. We take that as a yes.

"Come on then, let's go and use the Goo dust." I say.

"Its floo powder," Blaise corrects me.

I just give him a funny look and say,

"Um, that's what I just said. The Goo dust."

Draco shakes his head at Blaise,

"Really? Have you not learnt by now just to pretend what they say makes sense?"

"If he goes around calling it 'Goo dust' then everyone will think he's a blithering imbecile." Blaise argues.

"Then they'll be right." Ever says with a confident grin.

I flip her the mighty two finger salute and step forward to take some of the Goo dust or whatever.

"So how exactly does it work?" I ask Draco and Blaise.

Draco rolls his eyes and snatches some Goo dust for himself,

"Hold on," he says, moving to stand inside the massive white ornate fireplace, "I'll go first so you can see how it's done."

" _Incorrectly_ ," Blaise coughs loudly under his breathe.

Draco glares at Blaise and snaps,

"Shut _up_ Zabini!"

Oh bloody hell, the use of surnames are coming out now. We should all be afraid.

I don't want to be demoted to 'Potter', so I say,

"Get on with it Drake, I'm getting old over here."

Draco shoots daggers at me, and I just _stare_ back at him.

Eventually he relents and drops the Goo dust into the fire place. A blast of pink fire bursts upwards, almost engulfing Draco.

"Diagon Alley!" Draco announces, and he swiftly vanishes.

I cover my eyes with my hands and say,

"Fuck me, I'm getting flashbacks here!"

"Nah, it's ok, there's no floating head this time," Ever says conversationally.

I peek out from behind my hands and say to her,

"That does not comfort me, you _evil pixie._ "

Ever pokes her tongue out at me and steps forward. She copies Draco's actions, and moments later she has also disappeared.

"You wanna go next?" Blaise asks me, with a slight smirk on his face.

"Are sure there's no bus replacement service?" I say, making a face at the Goo dust in my hand.

Blaise just gives me a confused look, and I wave him off before his brain explodes with thinking too hard. I'm not in the mood to describe British public transport.

I drop the Goo dust into the fireplace and then step inside. Pink flames flare up all around me and I shout,

"Dia-" a flicker of flame comes too close to my face and I stumble backwards a bit, "gon Alley."

As soon as the words are out of my mouth, I'm being yanked down what feels like a rubbish shoot. Smells like it too. My body squeezes and pulls and flip-flops like crazy. I think I'm just about ready to throw up when I land, hard, on my face.

But it's ok, because my fall is broken by a big fat whale with glasses.

Harry looks down at me, sprawled across his body, and says,

"What did you **_do_**?"

I give him my best glare and say,

"Me?! What the hell did **_you_** do, you **_stalker_**?"

I heft myself to my feet, helping Harry up as well. Harry looks like he's been bitch slapped by his own glasses, and he says annoyingly,

"I didn't do anything. I was in the Burrow, trying to use the floo and now I'm…." he trails off to look around.

I do the same, and find myself frowning at the creepy shop we've somehow landed in. There are body parts in jars and scary wooden masks on the walls and spiky instruments strewn all about the place. I think there are blood stains on the furniture.

I lean over to Harry and say quietly,

"I think we've found someone's weird sex dungeon."

Harry throws me an incredulous glance and says,

"Of course you would say that. Thank you."

I hold my hands up,

"Sor- ** _ry_**. I didn't mean to offend you. Is this _your_ sex dungeon then? Is that why I'm here? You finally want to show me your dark side."

Harry sputters indignantly,

"I do not….I mean…I….I….I don't have a sex dungeon Sinclair! You lunatic!"

I shrug at him,

"Well I don't _know_. You _could_. We don't have to tell each other _everything_."

Harry looks at me suspiciously,

"That just makes me wonder what kind of insane secrets you have now."

I move my eyebrows suggestively and mock whisper,

"Can't say. Super secret Slytherin special ops stuff."

Try saying that ten times fast.

"There were way too many 's's in that sentence." Harry says, shaking his head at me.

"Come on, let's get out of here," I say, not wanting to stay in the creepy shop a moment more.

Harry and I make our way towards the front door, but before we can open it, two figures appear in the glass. I recognise them as Lucius Malfoy and Draco's younger brother, Scorpius.

I grab hold of Harry's arm and drag him towards a big wooden wardrobe. I stuff Harry and myself inside it. I really do not want to run into Mr. Malfoy, _here_. We leave a small crack open so we can see through into the shop.

A few moments later a bell rings and Mr Malfoy comes striding in. His features are slightly pointed in a handsome aristocratic way, the same as Draco. His eyes shine silver, also just like Draco. But unlike his son, Mr Malfoy doesn't have any of the warmth or playfulness in his eyes that I see in Draco's.

"Do not touch anything, Scorpius." Mr Malfoy says to his youngest son.

Scorpius skips after his father, looking oddly happy, despite the drab exterior of the shop. His pale ice blue eyes sparkle with something very unMalfoy. No wonder Draco doesn't like his younger brother.

Scorpius beams up at his father and says,

"Can we still get that pet hedgehog later?"

Mr Malfoy's jaw twitches and he says distractedly,

"I said I would get you that creature if you behaved respectfully today. Although I don't understand your sudden dislike for your own owl Benjamin."

Scorpius pulls an aghast face and says earnestly,

"Daddy, I can't keep Benji. He's **_evil._** Sinclair Potter said that all owls are evil. And he should know since he battled the Dark Lord. Twice. Dragon said so, and he was _there_."

Mr Malfoy's expression turns from impatient to silently seething. He snaps at his son,

"Your older brother has been spending far too much time with half-blood's, muggleborns and Gryffindor's over the last year. They've filled his head with all kinds of nonsense."

"Well, that's true at least." Harry mutters next to me.

I pinch his arm, hard, and slap my hand over his mouth when he makes an injured noise.

"Shhhh," I whisper, "You're going to give us away."

Harry glares at me. He licks my hand. I ignore him. He bites my hand. I threaten to lick the side of his face. Harry starts chewing on my hand. I lick the side of his face.

Ha! He thought I wouldn't do it!

From outside the wardrobe I hear Scorpius say excitedly,

"I think Sinclair is wonderful! He's really funny and smart and his hair is amazing! I hope he'll be my friend too at school even if Dragon tells him not to."

Harry gives me a look. I just grin at him and say quietly,

"Well I _do_ have amazing hair."

Harry rolls his eyes so hard that I think he might have hurt himself.

Mr Malfoy sends his son a quelling look and says icily,

"Yes, you've said all this before. But remember that the connections you make in your first year can define the entirety of your school career. I expect you to make up for your brother's failings in that regard, not join his band of misfits."

Woah, harsh. I hope he never says that to Draco's face, it would crush him to know that his father thinks so little of him.

Suddenly a creepy looking man steps up from the other side of the shop counter. He has greasy black hair and beady eyes. He reminds me of the crows who tried to peck me to death and I instantly dislike him.

"Ah, Mr Malfoy," the man says, "How lovely to see you again." His voice grates on my nerves for some reason, "Delighted-oh and young Mr Malfoy too-charmed. How may I be of assistance? I must show you what came in last week-"

"I'm not buying today Mr Borgin, but selling." Mr Malfoy says.

"Selling?" Greasy Mcgee's face drains of colour.

"You have heard, of course, that the Ministry is conducting more raids." Mr Malfoy takes some parchment out of his pocket and hands it over to Greasy for him to take a look, "There are some items in my house that may-perhaps-embarrass me, if the Ministry were to come snooping."

Greasy reads through the list and says,

"The Ministry wouldn't presume to trouble you, Sir, surely?"

Mr Malfoy's eyes darken into storm clouds.

"My home has not been visited yet. The name Malfoy still commands a certain amount of respect. But the Ministry grows ever more meddlesome. There are rumours about a new Muggle Protection Act. No doubt that buffoon Arthur Weasley is involved in such ridiculousness."

Harry stiffens beside me, and I see anger burn in his eyes.

Uh oh.

"I understand, Sir, of course," Greasy says.

"What's this?" Scorpius asks politely, pointing at a black metal sword lying behind glass.

Greasy beams at him and says,

"That is the burnt blade of Mordred. It is a very powerful object that will cut down your enemies at an astounding distance. Mordred himself was a great wizard and warrior."

Scorpius appears momentarily captivated.

Mr Malfoy says coldly,

"I would expect my youngest son to one day become a great Wizard in his own right."

Scorpius practically bounces on his toes and declares,

"I want to be a hero! I want to save people and go on adventures!"

Oh bloody hell, if Scorpius didn't look so much like Draco, I'd think for sure that he was adopted.

Mr Malfoy openly glares at his son for a few moments. Scorpius doesn't appear to have any fucks to give about upsetting his father. It's almost amusing.

"You will be nothing of the sort, Scorpius." Mr Malfoy says shortly. "I will not have another reckless fool as a son."

I wince again at the slate against Draco. I want to burst out of this wardrobe and yell at Mr Malfoy for being so mean about my friend. Draco may be selfish and snobby sometimes, but he's also loyal and clever and surprisingly brave. His father has no right to judge Draco so harshly.

Scorpius looks unhappy with Mr Malfoy's assessment as well, but he doesn't say anything. Instead Scorpius just straightens his back and pulls a bored expression. That one move reminds me so much of Draco that I almost laugh out loud.

"Perhaps we can return to my list," Mr Malfoy says pointedly to Greasy.

Greasy and Mr Malfoy begin haggling about whatever the fuck. Scorpius starts to look around the shop, poking at things and frowning a lot. Both Harry and I suck in a breath when he reaches our hiding place.

When Scorpius peeks through the gap and see's us, he blinks in surprise. I smile wanly at him and wave. A grin spreads over Scorpius's face and he opens his mouth to speak. I quickly press a finger to my mouth, miming 'sshhhhh', at Scorpius.

The younger Malfoy heir blinks a couple more times, and then seems to catch on. He presses a finger to his own lips and mimes 'sshhhh' back at me. Then he gives an impish smile and walks away from the wardrobe.

I let out a breath of relief. Harry looks at me and whispers sarcastically,

"Guess we're lucky he's your number one fan."

I shrug and whisper back,

"Don't be jealous just because I'm the favourite hero twin."

Harry glares at me, but doesn't say anything.

When Mr Malfoy and Scorpius leave, and Greasy ambles back into the hole he crawled out of. Harry and I make our great escape from the creepy sex dungeon.

…

After wandering around the weird-arse streets of Knocktern Alley for about a bazillion years, we bump into Hagrid. He escorts us back to Diagon Alley, where we meet up with everyone. And I do mean _everyone_.

Molly Weasley just about hugs me to death, whilst also going on and on about how pretty I am.

Arthur Weasley asks me about the muggle bus replacement service, and I explain that ugly people aren't allowed to use trains, so the muggle police force them to use a bus instead.

Harry tells me off and says to Mr Weasley that what I said isn't true.

I whisper to Mr Weasley that Harry is only saying that because he's always forced to use the bus. Mr Weasley nods in true understanding and then proceeds to ask me who in the muggle government decides what makes a person too ugly to take the train. I think he's a bit mad.

Ever fixes Harry's glasses and then disappears off with the Weasley twins.

Draco and Blaise grill me about what I saw in the shop with Draco's father. I left out the bits where Mr Malfoy was a mega meany bo beany.

Percy Weasley starts getting pissy because he thinks someone's stolen his prefect badge.

Ever, Fred and George reappear suddenly, each of them smirking like hyenas up to no good.

I don't think Percy will ever find his badge this time.

Ginny Weasley stares at Harry with complete devotion and I file that away for later mocking potential.

We all set off to Gringott's where the angry tree stumps live.

All the Weasley's pretend it's not weird that Draco is being, or at least attempting to be, nice to them. Draco doesn't even make one poor joke when he sees the dismal amount of money inside the Weasley's vault.

As promised, Blaise, Draco and I buy all of Ever's stuff, even though she still protests that it's too much. Our last stop is the book store to get all the new textbooks we need for Defense this year.

Hermione squeals when she sees a sign that reads,

**GILDEROY LOCKHART**

**-SIGNING NEW BOOK 'MAGIC ME' TODAY 12:00PM TO 4:30PM**

"Wow!" Hermione says, "We need to go and meet him! I mean, he wrote almost every book on our list for Defense."

Ever makes a face and says,

"He sounds like a tosser to me."

But we all go inside anyway. The book shop is full of middle aged women. It's like a bloody Take That concert up in here!

We each grab a copy of the books we need and line up with everyone else. Mrs Wealsey starts messing with her hair, and her cheeks look flushed. She says,

"Oh good, children, he'll be coming out soon."

"Well that would certainly be a disappointment to all of these women." I mutter loud enough for my friends to hear. They all snicker quietly to themselves.

As if on cue, Gilderboy Lickhat suddenly appears, sweeping out from behind a curtain and throwing his arms out wide. He bows dramatically as everyone in the book shop applauds. A few reporters snap pictures of Gilderboy, and the butthead poses for them like a superhero.

Ever leans in and whispers,

" _He_. _Looks_. **_Fabulou_** _s_!"

I snort out a laugh.

Draco leans in from my other side and whispers,

"Do you reckon that hair is real? Or those _teeth_? I wasn't aware you could have false teeth made out of pearls."

Both Ever and I fall about laughing.

One of the reporters tries to push through the crowd, shoving us all out of the way.

"Move! This is for the daily prophet!"

"No need to trample us," Ron says irritably.

Gilderboy Lickhat must have heard Ron, because he looks over at him. Then he looks at Harry. I duck to hide behind Draco and Blaise. But it's too late.

Gilderboy stares at us.

"It can't be Harry and Sinclair Potter?" He shouts in fake awe.

I look out from behind Draco and shout back,

"Nope! We are not the droids you are looking for!"

But as usual I am ignored. The crowd around us buzzes excitedly. Gilderboy strides forward and grabs onto Harry's arm. Harry grabs onto mine when Gilderboy starts dragging him to the front of the crowd. I try to fight back by holding onto my friends. As Gilderboy pulls me and Harry forward, our friends try to yank us back.

It turns into a weird tug of war situation.

Eventually we lose when Gilberboy doubles back and disentangles me from my friends. He then sweeps me and Harry to the front and stands between us, each of his arms around our shoulders. He squeezes us close to him and says,

"Smile, boys," Gilderboy flashes his white teeth like the shark from Finding Nemo, "Together we'll make the front page of the prophet."

Oh fantastic.

I'm almost blinded by the purple smoke coming from the cameras.

Harry looks over and says only loud enough for me to hear,

"Sinclair, I don't want to be famous."

I give him a thumbs down sign and say,

"Well then you should have thought of that _before_ you zapped Voldepop and saved the wizarding world from his evil swishing ways."

Harry frowns at me,

"You were there too! You were involved in the zapping!"

I place a hand over my heart and say,

"I most certainly was not. I was merely an innocent bystander to yours and Voldepop's death duel."

Harry opens his mouth to respond, but just then Gilderboy Lickhat interrupts by announcing that he will be the new Defense against the dark arts professor at Hogwarts this year. I can't think of a more horrifying prospect.

But at least he probably won't try to murder me and my brother. Key word there being 'probably'.


	14. The toilet of secrets: Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER. AT ALL. LIKE NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT. I PROMISE. BUT JK ROWLING DOES, SO, YAY FOR HER. ;)

** Sinclair's P.O.V **

"Go away." Draco says plainly to his brother.

Scorpius crosses his arms and replies,

"Nope. I ditched Mother and Father so I could get on the train with you. I want to stay with _you_." Scorpius' eyes stray to me. Draco notices, and I have to hide my snort of laughter at the expression of exasperated annoyance on his face.

We haven't even gotten past the bloody wall portal thingy yet. Ever, Hermione and Blaise have already gone through but, me, Harry, Ron and Draco have been held up by Scorpius.

"Oh, just let him come with us, Drake." I say with an easy smile at Scorpius. He's a cute boy, and I don't see any reason not to be his friend. Draco's apparent dislike for his brother is insane. I mean, it's not like he has _Harry_ for a brother. I understand why someone would think that was awful. Because it is. He's very irritating.

Draco turns a glare on me and snaps,

"No! He has to make his own friends, just like we did."

I arch an eyebrow at him,

"' _We_ '? I think you'll find it was me who befriended you and then introduced you to Ever. I am the _glue_ that holds our three way friendship together."

Draco scoffs at me and replies,

"Yeah, you keep telling yourself that."

I smirk at him,

"I _will_."

Draco rolls his eyes dramatically and huffs at me,

"I don't think I like you. Or your face."

"Because they're separate entities now?" I arch an eyebrow amusedly.

"Shut up!" Draco announces indignantly.

"Me, or my face?" I ask, trying not to snicker.

"Both. Both you and your face need a serious case of shut up disease." Draco says with another loud huff.

Scorpius watches the exchange between us with big interested eyes.

"Are they always like that?" Scorpius asks Harry and Ron.

Harry gives me and Draco a once over. At the same time Harry and Ron say,

"Yes."

"You get used to it." Ron says, sounding unsure of that himself.

"Wait until you meet Ever," Harry adds with a small smile.

"Is that the muggleborn you told me about?" Scorpius asks his older brother.

Draco just narrow his eyes at Scorpius and replies,

"I didn't tell you anything. You snooped and 'accidentally overheard' me talking about her."

It's too much to resist.

I lean in close to Scorpius and say loud enough for Harry to hear,

"Ever is the love of Harry's life."

Scorpius' blue eyes widen comically and Harry starts sputtering.

"Like for real?" Scorpius asks.

"No!" Harry shouts at the same time I say "Yes, definitely."

"She's also a unicorn," Draco supplies, sounding amused now.

"Really?" Scorpius asks excitedly, his eyes shining as he practically bounces on the spot.

Harry is still sputtering like a moron. It really seems to bother him. This pleases me.

"I do not _love_ Ever! She's completely mental!" Harry argues, his cheeks look hot with embarrassment.

Scorpius frowns at Harry and says,

"That's not a very nice thing to say about your girlfriend, Harry."

I almost die with the need to laugh in that moment. Draco and Ron don't hold back at all as they practically howl with laughter.

Harry looks like he might faint.

"Ever. Is not. My _girlfriend_!" He shouts in exasperation.

"Oh my **_God_** , would you stop going on and on about Ever," I say, rolling my eyes mockingly, "We get it. She's your soul mate. There's no need to keep chattering on about your deep love for her."

Harry throws me a murderous glare. I'd be afraid of that look if he didn't do it at least once a day throughout our childhood.

Before Harry can respond Draco points at him mock sternly and says,

"Besides, it's a forbidden love anyway. You can't have her. Dever will always love me and Sinclair the best."

"He's right. Sorry brother." I say with a serious nod.

Scorpius looks very confused, but still strangely joyful.

"Can we please just go and get on the train?" Harry mutters, trying to hide his pissy face and failing abysmally.

"Oh, don't be such a big baby, we're only having a laugh," I say, slapping Harry's shoulder playfully.

Harry just gives me another withering stare. Meanie.

Harry and Ron go first. Me, Draco and Scorpius stand back with our trollies waiting for our turn. Scorpius shows me his new pet hedgehog. It's the cutest thing I've ever seen. The little baby hedgehog suits Scorpius perfectly.

Voldebert looks over from his cage at the tiny hedgehog and starts hissing at it. I didn't even know Owls could hiss.

I glare at Voldebert and snap,

"What's that, your goose impression?"

Voldebert just chirps angrily at me. I flip her off. Draco smothers a laugh and Scorpius giggles.

"What's his name?" I ask Scorpius, gesturing at the hedgehog.

Scorpius grins at me and says,

"Penryn. But I call him Penny."

I smile at the younger Malfoy,

"Wicked, I love him."

Scorpius beams like crazy at me. He practically radiates happiness, it's like standing next to a small sun.

Draco leans over and pokes me in cheek,

"Stop encouraging him."

I open my mouth to respond when suddenly I hear a loud crash. We all look over in surprise to see Ron and Harry sprawled on the ground with their school stuff strewn all around them, their trollies upended.

"What the hell?" I say.

I exchange looks with Draco, and we both rush over to the Gryffindors. I help Harry to his feet and ask,

"What happened you insane fool?"

Harry shrugs at me and says,

"I have no idea. We tried to get through the wall and we just bounced off."

Draco goes over to the wall and prods at it curiously.

"Well don't help me up then, Malfoy," Ron complains, still sitting on the floor.

Draco says without looking back,

"I don't do peasant work, Weasley. Get yourself up."

I snort out a laugh and shake my head. Draco turns back to me and says,

"They're right, something is blocking us from going through."

"We're going to miss the bloody train!" Ron panics.

"Too late," Draco says, pointing at the clock.

"Maybe we should just go back to the car and wait for your parents," Harry says to Ron, making a face at the barrier as if it's personally wronged him somehow.

"The car!" Ron announces suddenly.

"What about the car of doom?" I ask.

"We can fly to Hogwarts!" Ron says

"No way!" Harry says, shaking his head, "What about your Mum and Dad?"

Ron waves a hand,

"It'll be fine. This is an emergency!"

I look over at Draco, who appears mildly appalled by the plan. Scorpius comes up behind us and asks worriedly,

"Have we missed the train?"

I smile sadly at him,

"Yeah, kind of. But don't worry, we'll get to school some other way."

Scorpius looks immedteily put at ease,

"Oh, alright then. How?"

Yeah, brain, how?

"We'll take the flying car!" Draco says, only half sarcastically.

"A flying car!" Scorpius exclaims in amazement.

"Apparently." I say.

"Come on, lets go!" Ron starts marching off towards the car park.

"Oh for bloody hells sake, alright then!" I say, throwing my hands up. Why not, we might as well almost get killed before we even get to WogHarts.

We all gather up our shit and follow after Ron.

...

"There, look, it's the castle!" Harry yells pointing at something out of the window.

Scorpius leans over me to take a look. Wagbarts looms large and creepy as fuck, same old same old.

"Wow!" Scorpius exclaims, "It's amazing!" His blue eyes are large and doe-like. He peers up at me with a wide grin on his face. I grin back at him despite myself. I think the little shit is growing on me.

"Slow down Ronan!" I say, "Let Scorp get some good gawking in. He's a Hogwarts virgin after all."

"Who the flack are you calling Ronan back there?" Ron gripes from the front.

"I thought that was what 'Ron' is short for," I say in way of explanation.

"It bloody well isn't," Ron complains.

I pull a face and say,

"What is it then? Rona?"

"No-"

"Ronawin?"

"-No, it's-"

"Ronbak?"

"NO!-"

"Ronanian?"

"That not even a name! It's-"

"Ronworl?"

"Would you shut up, my name is-"

"Ronzar?" Scorpius guesses brightly, still staring out of the window over my lap.

"Good one!" I say, causing Scorpius to aim another sunlight smile at me. I wonder if this is what having a non-Harry brother is like?

"It's Ronald!" Ron calls back to us. I can't see his face, but I know it's definitely red with anger. It always sort of us even when he's not angry anyway.

"Well that's a bit boring," I tell Ron, "I think I'll call you Reno from now on."

"That's...that's..." Ron sputters, "that's not even close to my name! Why would you call me that?"

I shrug,

"I dunno. I like the name Reno."

"God forbid you ever have any children, they'll all have ridiculous names," Harry mutters from his seat without looking back at me.

"God forbid you ever have any children, they'll all have to put up with having the boring twin as a father, and I'll just be their fun uncle who they love the best," I reply sardonically.

Draco smacks my arm suddenly and I turn to look at him. He's glaring at me from the other side of the back seat.

"What?" I ask, rubbing my arm where he viciously attacked and battered me. I may have to call childline if this kind of meaness continues.

Draco levels me with a hard stare and says,

"It just registered that you called my brother a 'Hogwarts virgin'."

I raise an eyebrow,

"Yeah, and?"

Draco smacks me again,

"So? There is something seriously wrong with you. He's my little brother."

I scoff,

"By, like, a year. Besides I remember you calling Professor Plantpot a 'shrub whore' during our first lesson."

Draco's cheeks heat up, I can practically feel them from over here.

"That's different. I was mature for my age. And you and Dever corrupted me."

I suck in an outraged breathe, but before I can say anything, Scorpius asks,

"Who's Professor Plantpot?"

"She's a crazy lady who talks to plants." I tell him.

Scorpius' eyes widen even further,

"For serious? Wicked cool!"

I tilt my head slighty,

"To be fair to her, they do talk back sometimes. Don't worry Scorp, you'll see soon enough."

"And since when do you call my brother Scorp anyway?" Draco demands with a scowl.

"I give all my friends nicknames." I say, the 'duh' is implied.

Draco appears about to argue again when quite suddenly Ron drives us into a tree.

"Weasley, you imbecile!" Draco yells angrily.

"Reno!" I shout when the car impacts the fat off massive tree.

"It's the whomping willow!" Someone screams, who fucking cares who.

There's a moment of silence as the pissed off tree starts to move all around us.

The chomping billow then proceeds to beat us into submission.

** Ever's P.O.V **

"You drove the effing car here? Are you actually demented?" I prod Sinclair with my fork.

They've just finished telling me the fantastical tale of how they head butted a brick wall, kidnapped an innocent flying car, and then got completely dominated by a tree.

Draco makes a huffing sound and says,

"I want it noted that I was originally against the whole idea."

Sin gives him an incredulous look. Draco ignores it and continues to eat his donut primly with a knife and fork. He's such a posh weirdo.

"You two are so lucky you didn't get expelled. We thought the ADM was gonna eat you to death. He looked soooo pissed." Blaise says, shaking his head in amusement.

The ADM really did look murderous when Draco, Sinclair, Harry, Ron and Scorpius showed up late looking like they'd just been tossed around in a giant washing machine.

Scorpius got a free pass because he's just a firstie and it was argued that the other four set a terrible example to a younger student. Scorpius just looked joyous to have been part of the great adventure. Whereas I'm glad I wasn't part of it this time.

I'm sure Harry and Ron are being scolded like crazy by my pet dorkzilla. She almost had a shitfit when they didn't get on the train. I figured they just got attacked by owls or decided to join the circus. Nothing too serious.

We're all in the hall now watching the sorting ceremony, which was postponed due to the epic tree attack we all witnessed out of the window.

"My Godfather would not have expelled me," Draco says gruffly, "He'll tell my parents though. They'll want to know why I did something so reckless and foolish. I can practically hear my mother now giving me a disappointed look and making icy barbed comments about my lack of Malfoy-like attributes. They'll be especially angry that I allowed Scorpius to become involved in my 'antics'." He makes air quotes around 'antics'.

"So you'll be a disappointment to your family. At least your family will give a toss that you got in trouble," I say, reaching out to touch Draco's arm.

Draco sighs wearily and nods,

"Yeah, I suppose." He gives me a weak smile.

I lean over and kiss his cheek.

"Don't worry, I still like you. And I'm glad you didn't die. Death by tree would have been too funny to take seriously at your funeral."

All three boys start laughing at that.

I look over at the Gryffindor table and catch Harry's eye. I realise that he was already looking at me and his green eyes are narrowed, as if he's really annoyed and confused about something but doesn't know why. He briefly looks over at Draco and his expression becomes even more hacked off. I raise a questioning eyebrow at him. He just shakes his head slowly and his eyes dart away from me, officially dismissing the weird moment.

Huh. Boys are so strange sometimes.

"Hey, look, there's another set of twins this year," Sinclair says suddenly, pointing over at the rounded up group of pre-sorted first years.

I look over at see Scorpius, who is practically bouncing up and down on the spot appearing excited and raring to go. I wonder how him and Draco could have possibly come from the same home life. If they didn't look almost identical I'd say Scorpius was adopted.

Scorpius must feel someone watching him because he glances over at our table. He waves at us happily, although his big grin seems to be mostly aimed at Sinclair. Sin, of course, lifts his hand to wave back and smiles fondly at the younger Malfoy. Draco notices the exchange and rolls his eyes. This year could be really fun with two Malfoy's now thrown into the mix.

Then I see the set of twins Sinclair was talking about. The twins are not identical, because one of them is a girl and other is a boy, but they look so alike that it's impossible that they aren't related. Both first years have very pale skin, even paler than the Malfoy's. They also both have messy light blond hair and pale as the moon big eyes.

I wait to listen to what names Professor McGoggles calls out.

"Luna Lovegood."

The pale girl twin walks up to get sorted. After few short moments the hat calls out,

"RAVENCLAW!"

"Looks like Scorp has made some mates of his own," Sin says, nudging Draco in the side.

I glance back at Scorpius to see him chattering away with not only pale haired male twin, but also Ginny Weasley. All three of them appear to be whispering about something.

A moment later Professor McGoggles calls out,

"Luca Lovegood!"

The pale boy twin looks far more confident than his sister and with a fist bump from Scorpius he strides up to the sorting hat. The singing hat is placed on his head and it takes a slightly longer time trying to sort him. Eventually though the hat opens it's big gob and shouts,

"GRYFFINDOR!"

Luca beams at that and jumps right off the stool. He high fives Scorpius as he practically glides over to the Gryffindor table.

"That's it, kiss of death, your brother just made best fwends with a Gryffindor," I say sympathetically to Draco.

Draco groans and lets his head fall forwards onto the table, burying his face in his crossed arms.

A few children later and it's Scorpius' turn. He looks over at us, and we all give him a thumbs up, apart from Draco who's being a big baby. Sinclair has started placing smarties on Draco's bent head so that when he stands up they'll slip down his shirt. Sin is so horrible. I love him.

When the hat is placed on Scorpius' head it suddenly springs to life and he announces,

"Hhhmmm, another Malfoy, eh...well you're very different...very...kind...and...bright."

"Thank you." Scorpius says, sounding genuine as hell. It's so cute.

Draco groans again and says in a muffled voice,

"Did he just thank a sodding hat?"

Draco tries to lift his head, but Sinclair stops him and says calmly,

"Shhhh, shhhh, don't worry about it, everything is fine, you just...stay still."

He's moved on to corn flakes now.

Why are there corn flakes for desert? Don't ask me, I have no idea who comes up with the menu for these shindigs.

After a few more long moments, the sorting hat makes it's decision and calls out in the voice of doom,

"GRYFFINDOR!"

Holy shiz nit!

Draco jerks up with surprisingly speed and then jumps again when a pile of sweets and breakfast cereal falls down the back of his shirt. He glares over at Sinclair, who puts on an innocent face and shrugs as if he has no idea what the problem is.

I look over at Scorpius, who seems delighted with his sorting. He practically skips over to the Gryffindor table and sits down next to Luca. The two of them high five again.

Last to be sorted is Ginny, and I ignore Draco and Sinclair having their mini domestic right next to me.

Of course Ginny is sorted into Gryffindor as well, and the new trio of Gryffs is complete as Ginny sits down on the other side of Scorpius. They all smirk at each other.

Yeah, this is gonna be another wild year, I can already tell.


	15. The toilet of secrets: Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER. AT ALL. LIKE NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT. I PROMISE. BUT JK ROWLING DOES, SO, YAY FOR HER. ;)

** Sinclair's P.O.V **

"What are you cackling about over here?" I ask as I flop down next to Draco.

Draco and Blaise are cracking up like a pair of drugged up pigeons. Blaise points a shaking finger over at the Gryffindor table.

I frown, turning in my seat so I can see the Gryff table, where Ron is staring down in horror at something.

"Seriously, what is it?" I try asking again, not understanding why everyone is either giggling or whispering.

"Weasley's been sent a Howler." Blaise explains when he finally stops pissing himself with laughter.

He says it like I'm supposed to know what a Howler is. I feel bereft of knowledge here folks.

"Feel like telling me what a Howler is?" I say impatiently.

Draco, whilst still snickering, says,

"Just trust me, things are about to get hilarious over at the Gryff table."

I open my mouth to ask more, but I'm cut off by an almost deafening shout coming from the Gryffindor table. I recognise the voice as Mrs Weasley. I cringe as she shouts via what appears to be a small red letter,

"-STEALING THE CAR, I WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN SURPRISED IF THEY'D EXPELLED YOU, YOU WAIT TILL I GET HOLD OF YOU, I DON'T SUPPOSE YOU STOPPED TO THINK WHAT YOUR FATHER AND I WENT THROUGH WHEN WE SAW IT WAS GONE-"

It hurts my ears like hell and I roll my eyes when Draco and Blaise begin laughing again. The arseholes. I press my face into my arms and grit my teeth. Woah, Mrs. Weasley in letter form is loud. And kinda scary.

"-LETTER FROM DUMBLEDORE LAST NIGHT, I THOUGHT YOUR FATHER WOULD DIE OF SHAME, WE DIDN'T BRING YOU UP TO BEHAVE LIKE THIS, YOU AND THOSE BOYS COULD BOTH HAVE DIED-"

The racket is suddenly cut off abruptly and for a moment I wonder if I've actually gone deaf. I turn around to see Scorpius practically sprawled out over Ron and Harry.

He's chewing on something.

I'm completely confused for a moment as I take in the surprise on Ron's face, the look of incredulity on Hermione's and the satisfaction on Scorpius'.

The shouty letter is no more.

Hold on….did Scorpius just….did he…

I hear Draco ask in disbelief,

"Did my brother just eat a letter?"

I turn in my seat just in time for Blaise to pat Draco on the head consolingly and say,

"Yes. Yes he did."

Draco is staring at his brother, his mouth hanging open.

The whole hall is silent for once.

Scorpius swallows the remains on the letter and then holds up a hand, as if in victory. I take it upon myself to start the applause. Everyone else follows suit like the mindless hero worshiping sheep they all are.

It's a good thing I already earned my hero status and sash by sitting in a crib and doing nothing while a meanie dark lord blasted himself. Or whatever happened. Otherwise I might have had to do something dramatic, like actually save someone in a real epic showdown. That would have been a lot of effort for very little reward.

I've already decided that this year I will not be rushing off to do anything melodramatic or insane like last year. No more fighting Dark lords, especially not ones named Lady Voldepop. That's my new life rule.

When everything dies down, Scorpius looks over at me I wink at him. He makes that cute beaming face and skips off to sit next to his new Gryff mates. Harry gives me a look of 'what the ever living fuck has been introduced into all our lives'. I just shrug at him. Because really, what is there to say?

I snap my fingers in front of Draco's face to get his attention so he'll stop glaring daggers at his little brother.

"Did you get a letter from your parents about the whole 'steal car, smash tree' situation?" I ask him, reaching over to grab some toast, Nutella and coco pops. Yes, I like toast Nutella and coco pop sandwiches, deal with it.

Draco sighs and frowns down at his porridge like it has somehow wronged him, as he should, because porridge. What self-respecting twelve year old eats porridge? By choice. Unless you're Goldilocks. Actually…yes, new nickname alert me thinks.

"Yes, they sent me a very strongly worded letter. They also cut off my pocket money for the next three months." Draco says grimly.

"Ah, so you'll be poor for a while then. I don't know how you'll survive the turmoil. You could write a book about it after your ordeal is over. You could call it 'My three months in peasant hell'" I say with a slight smirk. I look at Blaise and ask, "Doesn't being poor automatically disqualify you from Slytherin?"

Blaise snorts out a laugh and Draco growls at me,

"Shut up Sin!"

"How come you're down so late for breakfast anyway?" Blaise asks curiously, but also fearfully, like he thinks I'm going to say something weird. Honestly, when have I ever said anything weird? Exactly, never.

"I've decided that from now on I'll only come down to breakfast once the post has already been delivered so that Voldebert won't get the chance to assault me." I tell Blaise reasonably.

Blaise ruins the effect by have another snickering fit at my expense. He says,

"Voldebert came by actually. She was battling it out mid-air with Kevin, they both crashed into the black current juice. It looked like a really weird murder scene by the end of it all."

"Who rose victorious?" I ask him.

Blaise makes a face and I gasp,

"Please don't tell me that Voldebert murdered Kevin, Ever would go batshit and declare war on all Owls. It would be a massacre of epic proportions."

Actually, maybe we do need a martyr. Kevin might have to take one for the team.

"No. Voldebert got a few good swipes in, but Kevin screamed at her and went all fang-happy on Voldebert's wing. Then Kevin flounced off. You now have an injured owl."

Good, serves her right for being an owl and trying to assassinate me.

"If being poor was reason enough to be kicked out of Slytherin then Dever never would have been allowed to join in the first place." Draco says, having apparently been stewing on that for a while, despite the fact that we've all clearly moved on with the conversation.

"Your timing for comebacks really needs to pick up speed my friend," I tell Draco.

Wait a sec, speaking of Ever….

"Where is Ever?" I ask suddenly.

Blaise and Draco exchange looks, and then Draco shrugs,

"We thought she was with you."

"Did you kill her?" Blaise whispers, "Or did you kill someone together and now Ever is dealing with the body?"

I give him a dry look and say,

"No, we did not murder anyone." I frown to myself, "That I know of. I don't think. It's possible that Ever might have drugged me into not remembering. She's an evil pixie like that."

Blaise looks a little worried at this. That's what he deserves for making murder jokes so early in the morning. Or the year.

Draco just rolls his eyes at me and says,

"My powers of observation have noted that the Weasley twins are also missing this morning."

I turn to scan the Gryffindor table. He's right, the twins are gone too.

That does not bode well.

"Ever did mention last night about starting the year off with a bang." Draco says blithely.

I make a face and say,

"Yeah, you don't think they'll actually-"

My next words are cut off by a loud booming sound coming from somewhere in the castle.

Everyone starts screaming.

A lone voice that sounds suspiciously like Ever can be heard shouting,

"Bloody hell! The ADM is gonna lose his SHIT!"

….

Someone exploded the potions class room. Or someone's.

Of course we have no idea who those someone's might be.

It's so not at all obvious.

Seriously though, the ADM is soooooooo pissed off. Like for real. But he can't prove it was the Weasley twins and Ever who all but destroyed his classroom with an illegal firework-bomb potion. It's a good thing too, because they might actually get expelled if anyone finds out.

Ever and the Weasley twins snuck into the hall whilst everyone was still having a barmy-fit. And that was just the professors.

We have herbology first with the Gryffindors, so we all able down to the greenhouses. On our way there I spot Gilderboy Lickhat fussing over by the whimpering billow tree that tried to murder the flying car.

Professor Plantpot is with him, carrying a bunch of twigs from the meanest and most dominant tree I've ever met. She looks irritated, which is unusual. I blame Lickhat.

Professor Plantpot catches sight of us and calls over,

"Greenhouse three today, chaps!"

Lickhat smiles that scary smile that makes me want to back away slowly and shouts at us,

"Oh, hello there! Just been showing Professor Sprout the right way to doctor a Whomping Willow! But I don't want you running away with the idea that I'm better at Herbology than she is! I just happen to have met several of these exotic plants on my travels..."

Blah blah bloopity blah.

His face already bothers me. This is gonna be one long year with him as our Dark arts teacher. I'm pretty sure that Lickhat wouldn't know Dark arts if they came up behind him and introduced themselves via creepy musical number.

Draco leans in close and says,

"Do you think he was always a major prat? Or did something awful happen in his life that caused him to become a prat?"

Ever smirks and says in her wise old man voice,

"Be not afraid of prats: Some are born prats, some achieve pratness, and some have pratness thrust upon them."

Brilliant.

Ever strokes her invisible wise old man beard and looks off into the distance in a very wise old man way.

"What are you doing?" Draco asks her, his eyes narrowing suspiciously.

Ever raises an eyebrow and says, still using the old man voice,

"I am channelling the greatest and most powerful wizard of all time!"

Draco and I exchange a glance, neither of us willing to enter the maze of madness that is Ever.

"Dumbledore?" It's actually Neville who guesses.

Quite accidentally we've managed to kidnap him from the Gryffindors.

But Ever scoffs and says,

"No, why would I try to channel Dumblebumble, all he's good for is lemon tea and smiling inappropriately."

"Oh." Neville's face screws up like a disgruntled rabbit, "The who?"

Ever grins insanely at him, causing Neville to shuffle away from her a bit. Ever spreads her arms out wide and says,

"I'm trying to channel Gandalf of course, you bloody imbeciles."

"Wrong magical world, Ever," I tell her, "I ain't going after no ring."

"You people are mental." Draco demands crossly, clearly not liking being left out.

Ever smooshes up close to Draco. I shift over to walk next to Neville, #most sane member of our group of friends, both Slytherin and Gryffindor, by far.

Draco struggles to escape Ever as she wraps him up like an overly enthusiastic baby octopus.

"Accept the love Draco," Ever says determinedly.

"No!" Draco refuses, still struggling.

Everyone ignores the Ever and Draco debacle. It's just not worth it to keep up with the madness.

We all wander off towards the green house, whispering amongst ourselves about what evil shrubs we'll be dealing with today. Neville tells me about a plant he's been growing at him that eats other flowers.

"You have a cannibal plant?" I say, eyeing Neville thoughtfully.

Neville shrugs shyly,

"Yeah."

I think about it for a second and then say,

"Cool."

Neville smiles at me. I wink at him. He blushes. Sweet.

"What's it called?" I ask.

Neville's brow furrows,

"What, the plant?"

I smirk a little,

"No, your future child. Yes the plant, Nev."

Neville shifts around a bit and says,

"Hyphrondric Daisy."

I shake my head,

"No, Nev, not what the plant is called. I meant, what is the plant's name?"

Neville stares at me for a good few thousand seconds. He's got this whole rabbit in the headlights look going on.

"Um….I….didn't um…name it."

"Well that is completely unacceptable," I tell him, making sure that I smile so that Neville doesn't actually take me seriously and panic. "You better come up with one top sweet or I'll be forced to report you to the PBI."

Neville seems to think about it for a moment,

"What's the PBI?"

I reply seriously,

"The Plant Bureau of Investigation."

Neville laughs at me and through his laughter he says,

"Alright then. I'll call the plant Eric, there, happy?"

I grin at him,

"Ecstatic."

Neville just shakes his head and laughs some more.

Again I set myself the task of properly befriending Neville. He's a perfectly adequate human being. I like him. I really don't know why we didn't talk more last year.

Wait….oh yeah…it was because me and my other not so sane mates were battling trolls, selling dragons on the black market, taking a deadly walk through the forbidden forest, stalking the ADM, researching Nicolas Flammel, sneaking past a three headed tortoise, arguing with bird-keys deadly plants and a very smug fire face, being generally nosy gits about everything and taking on Lady Voldepop.

I ain't doing that again this year. I shant. I will shun adventure. I will be boring and safe and I will not kill any Dark wizards at all. Not even a little bit. So there. Bring it on universe, I'm ready for ya!

Yes, yes, I know, I already stole a flying car and smashed up a very old tree, shut up. But from this point forward, no more insanity.

I tell all this to Neville who actually full on snorts at me and says,

"Good luck with that, mate."

Rude. What is it with everyone's lack of faith in me being normal? I'm beginning to take it personally.

Unfortunately just as I'm about to follow Neville into the green house, I'm snagged by Lickhat. I see that he has already captured Harry in his cape. Damn it, now I'll have to save Harry instead of just running away like I previously planned.

"Sinclair! I've been wanting a word with you and your brother - you don't mind if he's a couple of minutes late, do you, Professor Sprout?" Gilberboy Likchat says, aiming that 'kick me, oh please kick me' smile over at Professor Plantpot. I think it's supposed to be a charming smile. If so, it fails epically.

Professor Plantpot must think so too because she makes a disgruntled face. But unfortunately she still nods, waving both myself and Harry off. God damn it, what if he was trying to kidnap us? We'd be doomed.

I catch sight of friends and mouth at them 'save me'. They stare back at me blankly. Useless. They are all bloody useless to me.

Lickhat closes the greenhouse door, officially trapping us outside with him. I shift over to Harry and try to help him escape Lickhat's majestic cape. It's a nice cape. This man so does not deserve a cape this epic.

"Sinclair, Harry, Sinclair, Harry," Lickhat says, his teeth are now fully on display. I'm not pleased about it. What if he touches us or something? I'll scream, I will one hundred percent scream.

Harry and I exchange a glance, but say nothing. Maybe if we're completely silent and we don't move around too much, he'll think we're not here and go away. Like a dinosaur.

Nah, that's offensive.

To dinosaurs.

The silence stretches on for some time before Lickhat finally says,

"When I heard - well, of course, it was all my fault. Could have kicked myself."

My first thought is, I would like to volunteer for the next kicking session.

I'm about to tell him so when Lickhat continues, "Don't know when I've been more shocked. Flying a car to Hogwarts! Well, of course, I knew at once why you both did it. Stood out a mile. Harry, Sinclair, Harry, Sinclair."

Why does he keep saying our names like that? Does he think we won't know who he's talking to? There's no one else out here.

"Gave you a taste for publicity, didn't I?" Lockhart says, all those white teeth still gleaming in a very alarming way, "Gave you both the bug . You got onto the front page of the paper with me and you couldn't wait to do it again."

Wah?

No, really though, WAH?

Harry breaks the no talking rule, the tosser, by saying,

"Oh, no Professor, we didn't-"

"Harry, Harry, Harry," says Lickhat, reaching out to touch my brother's shoulder. I scoot slight away from them. I do not want to be involved in this moment between them. Likchat goes on, "I understand . Natural to want a bit more once you've had that first taste - and I blame myself for giving you that, because it was bound to go to your head - but see here, young man, you can't start flying cars to try and get yourself noticed. Just calm down, all right? Plenty of time for all that when you're older. Yes, yes, I know what you're thinking! It's all right for him, he's an internationally famous wizard already!'But when I was twelve, I was just as much of a nobody as you are now. In fact, I'd say I was even more of a nobody! I mean, a few people have heard of you, haven't they? All that business with He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named!"

Against my better judgement I say,

"Harry is pretty well renowned for his Lady Voldepop zapping abilities, that's true."

Harry shoots me daggers.

Lickhat glances at me, and I immediately regret saying anything at all. Damn, I broke my own no talking rule. Now I must pay the price.

"Ah, you Sinclair, you have quite a face for the camera. Most people wouldn't notice, but you have slightly prettier features than your brother." Jesus Christ, I think he's coming on to me. Someone call ChildLine! "Trust me, that can be an asset if used correctly. A pretty face sells, remember that".

Lickhat sighs almost dreamily. Weird. He full on smiles at both of us, showing off his full teethatude. AH MY EYES! THEY BURN!

But Lickhat isn't done yet,

"You've both made a great start, I must say. You've got an excellent starting platform what with your hero status, and of course your contrasts."

"Our contrasts?" Harry asks, the moron.

Lickhat practically beams at us, and my retinas scream in agony.

"Oh yes, Harry. Being twins is a very marketable thing. But it's your differences that look good." He starts pointing between us, "Glasses, no glasses. Gryffindor, Slytherin. Messy, styled. Rough, smooth. Rugged, pretty. It all adds to the effect. Two heroes, battling for both sides."

Yeah, ok, he's insane.

Lickhat winks at us,

"Good luck boys," and then he strides off.

I look at Harry, who appears just as scandalised as me. I point after Lickhat and say,

"I do not approve of his existence in my life."

Harry nods in agreement,

"Maybe we'll get lucky and he'll get kidnapped by his fans."

Here's hoping.

After that official mindfuck, we both slip into the green house.

** Ever's P.O.V **

Mandrakes are wicked. They're ugly plants that scream like pissed off babies. Seriously brilliant. I called one of my mandrake's Victor, he's my favourite because he screamed so loud that Knott fainted. Enough said.

After herbology we all head off to Transfiguration with Professor McGoggles and the Hufflepuffs. We're supposed to be turning a snail into a pencil.

Sinclair changes his almost straight away, since he's always the best at transfiguration. Next it's me, and we proceed to have a snail pencil duel. Professor McGoggles is not impressed, she makes her angry kitty face, and sends me off to sit with a bunch of Slytherin girls who never talk to me.

Unfortunately they decide to change that today.

A thin, dark haired girl who I think is named Pansy Parkinson leans over her desk and says to me,

"Hello Ever."

The only contact we've had thus far is her giving me dirty looks whenever I'm in the same room as her. But hey, I'm not one to hold a grudge.

I raise an eyebrow and say,

"Hey, sup."

Pansy smiles, but it looks more like a grimace on her face.

"I don't think we've talked properly before. These are my friends, Daphne Greengrass and Millicent Bulastrode." Pansy gestures to the other two girls surrounding me. One of them us delicate looking and pale skinned, the other is big and a bit on the tomboyish side.

"Oh, right yeah, good to….see….you. Again." I don't know why but my brain is refusing to give me proper sentences.

Pansy does that grimace smile thingy again and I am immediately disturbed. She looks like a smooshed pug. Daphne just sniffs, like she can't imagine talking to someone such as me. Millicent actually gives me a quick nod, which seems more genuine somehow.

They don't speak to me again for the whole rest of the lesson, but there's a weird kind of tension that I don't quite understand. I'm really not good at girl politics. That's why most of my mates have always been boys. They may be idiots, but at least I know they're not secretly plotting my demise.

However, on my way out of class, Millicent comes up to me and says,

"Pansy's kind of a bitch. She wants to mess with you, just ignore her."

To be fair, Pansy was perfectly polite to me. But then, that's the thing with girls, you never know if they actually hate you or not. It's the power of the female bitch face.

"Don't worry, I wasn't planning on letting myself fall for Pansy's puggy wiles." I tell Millicent.

Millicent actually laughs at that and nods,

"Good. You seem weird, but cool. And just so you know, I really don't care that you're a muggleborn."

Well colour me surprised.

"Alright, thanks. Just so you know, I don't really like pureblood's. They really shouldn't be allowed into Hogwarts. Pureblood's aren't even proper wizards and witches." I wink at her.

Millicent smirks at me and says,

"Yeah, I've been saying that for years."

"We should start a petition to have them thrown out."

"I'll be the first to sign."

"I'll start the campaign tomorrow."

"We should really come up with a mean word for purebloods."

"Oh oh! Poshbloods."

"Nah, it needs to be more insulting."

"Hmmm, twattwaffles?"

"Excellent."

That makes us both laugh.

…

"What have we got next?" Draco asks.

I take out our schedule and say,

"Um, Dark arts with Sinclair's new mentor."

Sin glares at me,

"Hush your face. He is not my mentor, he's a looney tune who just so happens to wear an epic cape."

"There really should be rules about who gets to wear a cape, not everyone can pull that look off," I say seriously.

We're sitting outside in the courtyard. The whole gang. And I really do mean the WHOLE gang. Neville and Ron are playing chess on the grass, they refused to let me play because I always win, the spoilsports. Hermione and Blaise are reading this months addition of Dances with Werewolves together. Sinclair and Draco are debating about how likely it is that Sinclair would be able get a restraining to protect him from Lickhat. I'm showing Harry a new spell I learnt over the summer that makes grass sing.

Suddenly we are attacked by first years as Scorpius comes bounding over with Ginny Weasley and a newbie. He looks vaguely familiar, but I have no idea what his name is.

Whoever he is, he looks anxious as hell to be this close to Sinclair and Harry, who he keeps staring at all googly eyed.

I try to hide my smirk as I lean over to whisper to Draco,

"It's a Potter twins fan club."

Draco starts snickering, and Sin sends us a suspicious look. We both pull innocent faces, but it's clear from Sin's expression that he's not buying it.

"Hey Sin!" Scorpius says, whilst beaming adoringly at Sinclair.

"Oh, hey, Scorp," Sinclair says with a genuine smile. Draco rolls his eyes at this.

"Hi, Harry," Ginny says, sounding a bit more nervous and demure than Scorpius.

Harry nods at Ginny in greeting. He turns his attention back to me and I almost tease him about Ginny, but stop myself at the last minute, I don't want to be mean.

Newbie starts shifting from foot to foot, looking very excited. I take it upon myself to be the polite welcoming member of our group.

I smile kindly at newbie and say,

"Hey, sweetie, what's your name?"

Newbie just about fumbles to death with the very muggle camera that he's holding. He blushes furiously and stutters,

"Uh, I-I-I'm C-c-colin Creevey."

"It's good to meet you, Colin, I like your camera." I say, nodding at the camera he's still clutching to his chest like it's his only lifeline. "Come and sit down, sweetie."

Colin's eyes widen at me, and he looks like he might fall over.

"Alright, pull back on the charm a bit Dever, no need to give the boy a heart attack." Draco mutters, shaking his head, humour alight in his voice.

"Colin was hoping for a picture of Sinclair and Harry," Scorpius pipes up suddenly.

"A picture?" Harry frowns at Colin.

"So I can prove I've met you," says Colin, looking more eager now,. "I know all about you and your brother. Everyone's told me. About how you both survived when You-Know-Who tried to kill you and how he disappeared and everything and how you and Sinclair still have a lightning scar on your foreheads," Colin looks both Harry and Sinclair over, focusing on their scars, "and a boy in my dormitory said if I develop the film in the right potion, the pictures'll move . Could I have a picture of you both, and then will you sign it?"

Sinclair and Harry just stare at Colin for a long time, sort of gaping. They look so similar in this moment that I almost want to laugh.

"Come on you two, be nice and let Colin have a picture." I say. Draco is too busy laughing his head off, along with Blaise and Ron.

"I curse you," Sinclair hisses at me.

I poke my tongue out back at him.

…..

When everyone is sat down in the Dark Arts class room, Gilderboy Lickhat smiles widely at us, blinding a few people in the front row. He picks up one of his books and holds it up, his own winking portrait on the front.

"Me," he says pointing at the book and winking as well. Who winks at a book? Freak. "Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin, Third Class, Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defense League, and five-time winner of Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile Award but I don't talk about that. I didn't get rid of the Bandon Banshee by smiling at her!"

I think he expects us to laugh. Maybe he should have brought cue cards.

"I see you've all bought a complete set of my books - well done. I thought we'd start today with a little quiz. Nothing to worry about - just to check how well you've read them, how much you've taken in." He hands out test papers and then he returns to the front of the class and says, "You have thirty minutes - start - now!"

I look down at my paper of what is sure to be complete ridiculousness. Oh yeah, it's basically a questionnaire about himself.

Who have they allowed to become a teacher? Does he even have a teachers degree? Oh, OFSTED would NOT stand for this nonsense.

I've actually read all of his books, because my friends bought them for me and I didn't want to waste their money. But I decide to answer the questions for fun.

1\. What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite color?

Hot pink! To match his top notch personality.

2\. What is Gilderoy Lockhart's secret ambition?

To have the whitest teeth in the entire universe.

3\. What, in your opinion, is Gilderoy Lockhart's greatest achievement to date?

Tricking Dumblebumble into giving him a job as a teacher and manipulating hundreds of students into buying his books.

My favourite question is the last one,

54\. When is Gilderoy Lockhart's birthday, and what would his ideal gift be?

1st of January 1928 (Cosmetic surgery works wonders). A life's supply of hair gel and teeth whitening kits.

After half an hour, Gilderboy collects the tests and riffles through them at the front. He starts tutting and say,

"Now, now, hardly any of you remembered that my favourite colour is Lilac. And some of you need to read Wanderings with Werewolves more carefully, I clearly stated in chapter ten that my ideal holiday was a trip to Disney land world of adventure."

"He's bonkers," Sinclair whispers to me.

"Yep," I reply.

Gilderboy eventually finishes 'marking' the 'tests' and reaches under his desk to lift up a large cage covered in purple cloth. He sets it on the desk.

"Now - be warned! It is my job to arm you against the foulest creatures known to wizardkind! You may find yourselves facing your worst fears in this room. Know only that no harm can befall you whilst I am here. All I ask is that you remain calm."

I whack Draco's arm, who was falling asleep next to me. He jerks awake and turns to scowl at me,

"What?" he snaps.

"Something exciting might be about to happen," I tell him.

Draco looks sceptical. I feel his pain.

"I must ask you not to scream," Gilderboy says, "It may startle them."

I look over to see Sinclair playing a game of noughts and crosses with Blaise. Neither of them seem that bothered about what's under the purple cloth.

Gilderboy yanks the cloth away from the cage and says dramatically,

"Yes. Freshly caught Cornish pixies."

A whole class of Slytherins crack up laughing.

Inside the cage are a load of small mean looking blue pixies. I am immediately in love with them.

I wonder if I can entice them into becoming my personal army of cute evilness.

The electric blue pixies are making twitering noises and crashing all around their cage. I see chaos in their pure black eyes. Those creepy creatures are menacing little shits, that's for sure. They could cause complete mayhem if let lose.

So of course that's exactly what Gilderboy does.

"Lets see what you make of them!" Gilderboy announces, and he flicks open the cage door with admirable flare.

The whole room descends into anarchy as the pixies do their best to destroy everything. They smash windows and throw ink pots around, showering everyone in blue ink. A couple of the pixies upend desks and lob books and bits of paper around. One of them even undoes the chandelier and it crashes to the ground, only just missing me and Draco.

"Come on now - round them up, round them up, they're only pixies," Golderboy shouts unhelpfully, the sod. He then proceeds to roll up his sleeves and aims his wand skyward, " Peskipiksi Pesternomi! " he casts.

Nothing happens. Wow.

Everyone else in the room is going mental, screaming and swatting at pixies. Millicent starts firing curses at them, and Blaise quickly joins her.s The pixies just doge them and laugh in their high meany bo beany voices.

The pixies steal Gilderboy's wand and throw it out of the window. If anything they've just done the wizarding world a favour.

"Bloody hell, someone kill it! Kill it now!" Sinclair yells.

"They're only pixies," I scold him.

Sinclair gives me a look of exasperation and says,

"I meant Lockhart."

Fair enough.

The bell tolls and everyone makes a mad dash towards the door.

A few of the pixies are bashing Draco over the head with German dictionaries. WHY are there German dictionaries in a DADA classroom? This school is on crack or something, I swear.

Sin and I rush over to defend Draco. When everyone else has escaped the classroom, Gilderboy stops at the door and calls out to us,

""Well, I'll ask you three to just nip the rest of them back into their cage." And he shuts the door behind him. Bastard.

"That git!" I shout angrily, whilst also hexing a couple of pixies back into the cage.

Draco stuns a half a dozen pixies and gathers them up to shove them into the cage as well. He grumbles furiously,

"That man is an imbecile."

After getting bitten on the neck rather harshly by one of the pixies, Sinclair finally growls,

"Alright, that's it!" he takes out his wand and raises it high into the air, "Claudicatis ligabis pixies!"

A shot of white light shoots out of Sinclair's wand and spindles upwards. The stream of power binds all the pixies together,yanking each other in so they're all squished into a tight circle. Sinclair guides the bound pixies into their cage and Draco slams the cage door closed.

Sinclair releases the spell. I look back at him to ask what the hell kind of spell that was, but I'm shocked into silence when I see that Sinclair's green eyes are...glowing.

Well holy shit on a stick.


	16. The toilet of secrets: Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER. AT ALL. LIKE NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT. I PROMISE. BUT JK ROWLING DOES, SO, YAY FOR HER. ;)

** Ever's P.O.V **

Ok, I'm just gonna say this once...we need to assassinate Gilderboy Lickhat. Like for real.

I've just spent the last week and a half playing the weirdest game of hide and seek in the history of ever. Sin literally dive bombs into a classroom or hidden corner every time he sees Gilderboy coming. He fears for his virtue. I'd like to say his fears are unwarranted, but that would be a lie. Gilderboy's teeth do give off a slightly molesty air. It's something you have to actually see to understand the full creep factor. You're just gonna have to trust me on that one. Who knew teeth could be lecherous anyway?

Most of the time Draco and I get yanked along with Sinclair just in case Gilderboy feels like having a friendly 'chit chat' about our 'fame by association'. We are, after all, Sinclair's official entourage. Apparently. I mean, I don't actually remember signing up for the position, but it's entirely possible that I agreed to it when I was tired, or coming down from a sugar high.

Sin has also been trying to dodge Colin Creevey, who comes up to either Harry or Sinclair at least six times a day just to say hello and wave with far too much enthusiasm. Sin usually just shoves me in front of Colin, who then promptly blushes when I wink at him and starts stumbling over his own feet nervously. Sin calls me his firstie zapper. Like a bug zapper, but with first years instead. Sin felt the need to explain that to me. I felt the need to hex his hair into turning blue.

Draco keeps trying to get us to avoid Scorpius as well, which only makes Sin more determined to befriend the younger Malfoy just to annoy Draco. I don't mind so much because Scorpius is genuinely fun to be around, although he's so Gryffindor that it sometimes hurts to look at him for too long. He's like a living sunbeam I swear to Satan.

It's Saturday morning and I've been rudely awakened by some arsehole shaking my arm. I am NOT pleased. In fact I'm so not pleased that I've accidentally created a mini dark cloud of thunder and lightening that follows me around. Every time someone annoys me the cloud floats over to them and rains all over their head. I would be amused if I weren't so damn tired.

The arsehole who woke me up is Marcus Flint, our team captain. He started blathering on about us going down to start Quidditch practice even though it's, like, five in the morning.

I hate him.

I hope a flock of pandas choose him for their ritual sacrifice and then eat him.

"My bat Kevin will be hearing of this, you bloody twatwaffle," I tell Marcus.

Flint rolls his dark eyes as me and the rest of the Slytherin team amble on down to the Quidditch pitch.

"Stop whinging, Granger. I am not letting those sodding Gryffindor's get the better of us again."

I poke my tongue out at Flint's back.

Miles Bletchley, one our keepers, nudges my arm and says,

"Do you reckon the mighty Kevin could really decimate Mark? I'd like to give it a go at being captain."

Our chasers Iris Montague and Stefan Warrington both start laughing, the two of them walking at my other shoulder. I give Miles a smirk and say,

"My Kevin is boss, and could destroy anyone. He's basically a ninja."

"Can a bat have ninja skill?" Iris says thoughtfully.

Miles snorts and waves a hand,

"That is the weirdest question you have ever asked, you muppet." He reaches over to ruffle Iris' hair, "Of course bats have ninja skill. They _invented_ ninja skill."

"Too right," I say.

"What was that you were muttering earlier?" Iris asks, "Something about...pandas?"

I didn't realise I said that out loud. Whoops.

"I was merely suggesting that Marcus could do with getting munched on by a flock of pandas. You know, to help build his character."

"Ah," Iris nods, like that makes perfect sense. "Thought it might be something like that."

"A _flock_ on pandas?" Stefan makes a face, "Is that the right word? Wouldn't it be like...a cluster of pandas?"

"Or a pack of pandas," Miles suggests seriously.

"Or a herd," Iris says, bouncing a little as he walks.

"Oh, how about an army!" Miles says, his blue eyes glinting.

"Nah," I hit his arm playfully, "That's caterpillars."

"An army of caterpillars?" Stefan quirks a blond eyebrow, "That sounds surprisingly frightening."

Miles, Iris and I all exchange amused looks and then we start wiggling our fingers towards Stefan likes creepy worms.

"Er, get off, you prats!" Stefan complains, slapping our hands away even as the three of us bust up laughing.

The Slytherin team have gotten used to having a muggle-wuggle thingy on their team. I think me winning most of their games for them cinched the deal.

But Miles, Stefan and Iris are the only ones who actually seem to like me. The three of them literally tower over me, and I have to look up to meet their eyes properly. They're surprisingly kind and funny though, and I like spending time with them even when we aren't at practice.

"Oh, bleeding hell, here we go," Miles says suddenly.

I frown in confusion until Miles gestures over at a group of Gryffindors. And not any Gryffs either. It's the Gryff Qudditch team. I spot Harry straight away and he smiles broadly at me. I have to resist the urge to wave at him. Now is not the time to show off my friend-ish status with Harry, so I just turn my gaze elsewhere.

Oliver Wood, the Gryffindor captain comes storming up to us and bellows,

"Flint! This is our practice time! We got up specially! You can clear off now!"

Fred, George and Harry follow behind Wood. I do grin at the Weasley twins, because they're too epic to ignore. Fred winks at me, and George salutes me. I salute him back. I don't miss how Harry glowers at my dismissal of his existence.

Marcus just stares Wood down and says,

"Plenty of room for all of us, Wood. I'm sure we can share."

"But I booked the field!" says Wood, and he looks piss-ey as hell, "I booked it!"

"Don't be a big baby, Wood. We got signed permission from Professor Snape," Marcus whips out a letter. A letter clearly written in the ADM's handwriting and signed by him at the bottom.

"But I _booked_ the field...that's how it works!" Wood exclaims. His face is beginning to turn red. I think he might faint or something in a minute.

Miles chuckles under his breathe and whispers to us,

"Bet you anything Wood brings up the Quidditch code of conduct within the next twenty seconds."

"I know it's hard for you hero Gryff types to share the spotlight, but I'm sure you can manage it for a few hours, Wood," Marcus says flatly.

Wood just about explodes with teenage boy rage,

"But the Quidditch code of conduct states that each house is entitled to practice alone to prevent cheating!"

"Booyah. Ten seconds." Miles whispers. We fist bump.

"I won't have you stealing our new training program!" Wood insists, still looking pretty hacked off.

It amuses me.

"Ah, so you admit to having a new training program," I say dryly.

"Keep out of it Granger," Harry snaps at me, his green eyes blazing.

I glare at him,

"Piss off, Potter," I snipe back at Harry.

"Why do you always have to make situations worse Granger?" Harry says to me.

What the hell does that even mean?

"Why do you always have to get in my face, Potter?" I cross my arms angrily.

"Could you two take your domestic someplace else?" Marcus shouts at us.

"I don't know, can you and Wood take yours someplace else?" I shout back at him.

Ok, this is going down hill, fast.

"See, you can't even get on with your own housemates," Harry shakes his head at me in exasperation.

Why is he being like this? We were getting on by the end of last year.

Stefan, Iris and Miles surround me protectively, like my very own bodyguards.

"Back off, Potter!" Iris warns Harry.

"Oh sod off!" Harry growls back, not backing down even an inch.

"Calm down!" I say to him, I look pointedly at George and Fred, who immediately start whispering to Harry.

Harry just shakes his head at them and pushes away. He gives me one last hateful look and then storms off. I look after him, shocked.

"Looks like you're one player down, Wood." Marcus sneers gleefully.

I sigh heavily and chase after Harry. I vaguely hear Wood mimic Marcus' voice, saying,

" _Looks like you're one player down_."

It takes me a while to catch up with Harry, the pissy sod. I tackle him from behind and we both go down hard. We both roll down the grassy hill for a bit until we stop, tangled together ridiculously.

I push myself up enough to pin Harry to the ground so he'll have no choice but to look at me. Harry's bright green eyes stare up at me defiantly.

"What was all that about then?" I ask him bluntly.

We're far enough away that no one can see us here, so at least there won't be any stupid rumours about me attacking the boy-who-lived.

Harry's jaw clenches and his eyes flicker over my face,

"You ignored me on purpose." Harry says just as bluntly.

I can't even deny it because I did ignore him, which was kind of shitty of me actually.

I bite my lip and nod,

"Yeah...I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that."

"Then why did you?" Harry asks suspiciously, his eyes narrowing.

I shrug uncomfortably,

"I dunno. I didn't want the team to think I was too friendly with a Gryffindor."

Harry doesn't look so convinced and he says,

"But you didn't blank Fred and George."

Damn it!

"Uh...yeah...I guess." I'm not sure what else to say. "They're my mates," I wince even as the words come out of my mouth.

Harry shifts beneath me, his expression turning hard,

"I thought we were mates."

"We are!" I insist. I take one of Harry's hands and link our fingers, "Look, I'm sorry I acted like a div. I won't do it again."

Harry watches our hands as they slide together, our thumbs playing over each other.

"You promise?" Harry asks, he looks back up at me.

I nod firmly,

"I promise."

"Alright then," Harry's tone brightens considerably and he suddenly grins at me, "Sooooo get off me then...you're heavy."

I gape at him for few solid seconds, and then start attacking him. Harry practically screeches with laughter as I tickle him to death. He lunges upwards with strength I didn't know he possessed and rolls us over so he can attack me right back.

That's how Fred, George, Iris, Stefan and Miles find us a couple of minutes later, rolling around on the grass tickling each other.

"Oi, er, get in there Harry!" Fred calls down to us.

"Get him Ever!" Miles shouts, sounding vastly amused.

The rest of them start cackling.

Both Harry and I blush and scramble away from each other. We get to our feet and studiously avoice looking away from the ground.

Ugh, I give it half an hour before Sin and Draco find out about this. Sin will tease me until the end of time, and Draco will offer to fight for Harry for my honour.

** Sinclair's P.O.V **

"Right, what's this I hear about you attacking my Ever?" I ask Harry # _the mopey Gryffindor Mc complainy pants_.

We're on our way to our detention. Apparently we are to be helping Lickhat answer his fan mail. _Fan mail_ , who the hell is a fan of Lickhat? Creepy tossers, that's who. And middle aged women. He's like a wizard version of Robbie Williams, but weirder and less druggie.

The thought of spending so much time alone with Lickhat makes me want to call the RSPCA to have him taken away. I'm sure I can convince them that Lickhat is come species of endangered gecko. When Professor Mcgoggles told me and Harry what we would be doing for our detention I said that I would rather stab myself. In the eye. With a spork.

Professor Mcgoggles welcomed me to try.

Long story short, I couldn't find a spork. I think she magiced them all away somehow. So here I am.

Harry groans and shoves my shoulder,

"Shut up, Sinclair. I didn't even touch her." He _lies_. OH THE **LIES**!

I can't shut up, it's too good.

"Everyone's talking about the epic seeker smackdown at practice this morning, Harry."

"' _Everyone_ ', should mind their own fucking business." Harry growls at me.

I hold my hands up, not even trying to disguise how funny I think the whole situation is,

"Alright, alright, no need to get in a tizzy about it."

Harry shoots me another glare,

"You are so annoying!"

I just smirk at him. It's actually hilarious. Harry should realise that the more irritated he becomes, the more fun it is for me to poke him. God, he's such a Gryffindor. A Slytherin would have worked it out by now.

Oh yeah, check me out with all the house pride stuff. I shall take all my house points now thank you.

I'm still not sure what house points are.

Or what they're for.

But I still want some because...reasons

When we reach Lickhat's office, Harry knocks on his door. We wait for a few seconds and then the door swings open. Lickhat is standing there grinning at us. A small part of me wants to throw glitter or dust at him and run away.

"Ah, here's the little scalawags!" Lickhat says. "Come in, both of you, come in-"

Harry and I make faces at each other and I make to dash away. Harry grabs me by the scruff of my uniform and drags me into Lickhat's lair. I shove Harry away from me and hiss,

"Assault, assault! Back away you foul beast! I feel violated you...you... _whale fiend_!" I poke his nose, "Oh yeah, don't think I've forgotten just because it's a new school year."

Harry rolls his eyes at me and nips at my finger. I poke it back quickly and shout,

"Sir! Harry just tried to bite me! That's illegal! I want him shipped off to Azkabutt straight away!"

"It's Azka _ban_ you great muppet!" Harry shouts back at me.

I make a bewildered face at him,

"Uh, that's exactly what I just said, you big fat baby whale."

Both of us stop arguing the moment we get a good look at Lickhat's lair. The walls are covered with pictures of Lickhat. Like, literally covered. His face is _everywhere_. It's like a nightmare, but _worse,_ because it's _real._

There are also about a billion candles scattered all over the place. Now that's just a fire hazard.

"Do you think Hogwarts has insurance for this?" I ask Harry.

Harry just shakes his head in exasperation at me.

"You two can address the envelopes!" Lickhat says excitedly, as if we've both been perfectly pleasant this entire time.

Not wanting to bring down the mood I say dryly,

"Huuurraaayyyy."

Our detention feels like it's going on FOREVER. Lickhat keeps yammering on about his three favourite topics, himself, his fame, and now apparently our fame in association with his.

"Fame's a fickle friend, boys," Lickhat tells us.

Harry hurrumphs something like agreement. I say,

"Who's fame Sir?"

Lickhat's trademark smile fades for a second and he says,

"Sorry Sinclair?"

"Your friend, Fame, is he a writer as well Sir?" I ask in my most serious voice.

Harry looks up in interest, clearly trying not to show his smirk.

Lickhat appears, for all intent and purposes, completely perplexed. Good. Maybe he'll shut up for a few seconds.

Towards the end of our detention I feel like my eyes are going to fall out of my head. How can one prat get so much fan mail? It makes me wonder how much fan mail Knott must get for being such a grade A tosser.

Then something happens. Something weird.

I hear a voice. A cold and calculating voice that chills me to the bone. I get goosebumps on my skin and my whole body stiffens.

_"Come... come to me... Let me rip you... Let me tear you... Let me kill you..."_

Harry jumps in his seat at the same time I shout,

"What the bloody hell?"

"What was that voice?" Harry asks, his eyes wide.

Lickhat looks puzzled, which is not at all helpful,

"What voice?" he asks.

"You heard it too?" Harry narrow his eyes at me.

I nod frantically and look up and around the room.

Ok, now that's just freaky as all frak.

Lickhat frowns at us,

"What are you talking about, boys? Perhaps you're getting a little drowsy? Great Scott - look at the time! We've been here nearly four hours! I'd never have believed it - the time's flown, hasn't it?"

Um, no.

"Off you both pop then, get some sleep," Lickhat beams at us again and I all but drag Harry away from Lickhat's candle paradise.

"What was that voice?" Harry whispers to me as we rush through the corridors.

I shrug at him and reply,

"No clue. Maybe it was just ghosts playing a trick on us or something."

"I didn't see any ghosts," Harry says.

"Yeah, well, maybe they were invisible."

"I haven't seen any invisible ghosts."

"That's kind of the point of them being invisible Harry."

"I meant I haven't heard of any invisible ghosts in the school before."

Yeah, me neither.

I sigh and bite my lip,

"Well, to be fair, we technically hadn't heard of Hogwarts at all for the first eleven years of our lives, but that doesn't mean Bogvarts didn't exist before."

I'm sticking with my invisible ghost theory until I find evidence of something possibly more sinister. And knowing us, it'll probably be an evil dark lord trying to do something mean. That's what evil dark lords do; meany bo beany stuff. That's why they're evil dark lords. It's in the name.

Either that or it's Voldebert finally making her second assassination attempt. She's probably trying to drive me mad so I'll kill Lickhat and get done by the animal protection services for doing in an endangered gecko.

When I get back to the Slytherin common rooms I wake Draco up and tell him everything. He sets up privacy wards around his bed so no one can listen in. After I've finished telling my story, Draco stares at me for a long time and then says,

"Are you sure you're not just mentally ill?"

I hit his arm,

"Sod off. Harry heard it too, remember."

Draco scoffs,

"That doesn't fill me with any more confidence."

"I'm telling you, I heard a creepy doomsday voice. It talked about hurting people, Drake!" I say earnestly.

"Oh, Jesus, don't tell me you've decided to go dark side and become a one hit wonder hero like your brother." Draco looks mildly disturbed by the prospect of having a hero as a friend.

"You're so weird," I tell him.

"I'm not the one hearing voices," Draco reminds me.

"Point." I concede.


	17. The toilet of secrets: Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER. AT ALL. LIKE NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT. I PROMISE. BUT JK ROWLING DOES, SO, YAY FOR HER. ;)

** Ever's P.O.V **

"You look wet Dever." Draco states plainly, his silver eyes scanning me from head to toe.

I narrow my eyes at him. I gesture up and down my body, unable to stop myself from replying,

"I _am_ wet. It's not a fucking mirage, Zaco."

Sinclair looks between us and then shakes his head at me,

"See, this is what you get for mop racing. No good ever comes of it."

I roll my eyes and skip a little more aggressively down the empty corridor,

"No, this is what I get for allowing Flint to remain alive."

Sinbad tilts his head to the side and says,

"Or it could just be allowing him to remain captain of the mop racing squad."

Flint has been driving me mental all of October by making us have extra practice all the bloody time. I swear I'm starting to dream about nothing but Qudditch. I told Flint this and he replied in a dastardly way that since I'm the Slytherin seeker I should be fully immersed in Qudditch at all times anyway.

I've already started to plot Flint's demise. I had to hold Kevin back from terminating him. When I destroy Flint, I want to make sure it's slow and painful.

I shove Sin's shoulder,

"I'll have you know it's ' _The most amazing mop racing **crew** of all time_ '. Get it right dickhead."

I've just come inside from another impromptu practice. It's pissing down with rain outside. All of the team were not best pleased. I'm pretty sure I could lead a mutiny.

Sin holds his hands up in a placating gesture. He shrugs uncaringly,

"You could always get Flint demoted to fairy liquid boy."

"I could leave him on a desert Island in the middle of the ocean with one pistol and no hope of rescue." I mutter gleefully to myself.

Sin just eyes me strangely for a moment, but doesn't comment. I've trained him well. Instead he goes on as if I hadn't spoken at all.

"I really don't understand why he's making you lot do all this extra practice crap. I mean, it's just mop racing."

"For the last time, it ISN'T A MOP ITS A BROOM! A _BROOOOOMMMM_!" Draco all but yells right into Sinbad's ear.

Sin rubs at his ear and gapes in mock outrage at Draco. He pokes him in the chest dramatically,

"I'm so sorry Drake, I couldn't quite hear what you were YELLING IN MY EAR!"

Draco rolls his eyes and puts on that bored snobby face he pulls whenever he's really irritated with Sinclair.

"Well you won't listen otherwise." Draco says indignantly, not sounding at all repentant. He even adds a little extra haughty bounce to his steps as he strides down the corridor.

Sinclair sighs loudly and says,

"I don't even get why you two like Qudditch so much anyway. I mean, it's completely ridiculous. Who even came up with it, Henry Hoover?"

I grin manically at them both.

"Once upon a time a Henry Hoover had an affair with a Dyson."

Sin gasps and slaps a hand over his chest, clearly scandalised,

"But…. ** _no_** …what about his wife, Henrietta! Think of his son, Harvey the mini hoover! This is awful news."

I nod sympathetically at him,

"I know. I've officially lost all belief in true love. If Henry and Henrietta, the world's power couple, can't make it, then what hope do the rest of us have?"

Sinclair shakes his head in despair,

"Sad. Just so sad. What is society coming to that a good wholesome hoover like Henry would betray his faithful wife for a piece of shit Dyson?"

I nudge Sin's side and say,

"I hear the Dyson is at least half his age."

"Disgraceful," Sinclair intones scornfully.

Draco is looking between us both rapidly. There's a long stretch of silence and then suddenly Draco shouts in exasperation,

"What the bloody hell are you two blubbering on about now?!"

Sinclair winks at me covertly and then frowns at Draco. He says very seriously,

"We're talking about the founder of mop racing; Henry Hoover. God, Drake, keep up, I thought you were meant to be some sort of mop racing expert. But if you don't even know important trivia like this, then, really, it forces me to call into question anything you've ever said."

Sinclair is officially the prince of talking bullshit. How that bastard sorting hat could have ever thought he belonged in any other house but Slytherin is beyond me.

Draco stares at Sinclair incredulously for a good few seconds, unable to even sputter angrily like he usually would when Sin _really_ pushes him over the edge like this. Finally he asks a question I didn't expect,

"What in the name of Salazar is a ** _hoover_**?"

Suddenly I can't hold it in any longer and I start pissing myself laughing. Like full on snorted laugher that echoes through the drafty corridor. It's the kind of laugher that is impossible to look dignified doing. I would never laugh like this in front of anyone but Draco and Sinclair. And possibly Hermione, but we shared a womb, so I think we've technically moved past the awkward phase of each others' existence by now.

Soon after Sinclair starts laughing too and we both end up hanging onto each other and sounding like demented hyenas.

Draco is glaring at both of us quite fiercely, his pale eyes blazing. He reminds me of a pissed off Kevin right before he goes into one of his bat rages.

I believe that Kevin and Voldebert have started a war of sorts between all the owls. This morning the owls (and Kevin) swooped down to deliver the post and they ended up having a full on brawl. Half of the owls were led by Kevin (the mighty), and the other, # _more evil_ , half were led by Voldebert (the foul).

It. Was. Epic!

All the owls were screeching and beating each other up all badass and ninja-like. Sinclair, of course, completely lost his _shit_. He started screaming ' _It's owlmegaddon! Run for your **lives**!_ '. He then tackled me, Draco and Blaise to ground and forced us to create a fortress with the tables and benches.

Scorpius grabbed a long fork and jumped up onto the Gryffindor table. He lifted the fork into the air and screamed " _You can take my life, but you'll never take my FREEDOM!_ ". His two Gryffindor friends, Ginny and Luca joined him on the table, brandishing their own cutlery/weapons.

I caught Harry's eye and he made a mad dash over to our fortress with Hermione and Ron in tow. Draco wanted to refuse them entry, rationalising that they may have been compromised because of Harry's allegiance to Hedwig. Ron screeched at Draco to stop being such an effing sod. Harry shouted that Hedwig was on the side of the good owls. Sin shouted back through the fortress that there's no such thing as a good owl and that Harry had clearly shown himself to be an owl sympathiser, which could not be tolerated within the fortress of not-quite-solitude.

It went on like that for a while until eventually I just opened up our fortress and yanked Harry, Ron, and dorkzilla inside. We barricaded everything up again and stayed hunched together sharing Haribo, waiting for the battle between owls (and Kevin) to end.

All the professors were running around like chickens with their heads cut off. Except the ADM of course, who simply rolled his eyes once and then left the room with a dramatic flick of his black cape (Draco insists that they are in fact robes, but I know a cape when I see one).

Gilderboy Lickhat got dive bombed by five owls at once when he tried to do a spell. I'm not sure what the spell was _supposed_ to do, but what it _actually did_ was piss off a whole squadron of warrior owls. They screamed at him and attacked his face.

It was obviously hilarious and highly disturbing at the same time. But mostly hilarious.

Professor McGoggles and Professor Flatwack tried to round up the owls like sheep, but the owls were having none of that and they started pretending to be corralled, and then at the last minute flapping away.

Dumblebumble did nothing, he just sat back on his throne and watched the anarchy unfold. He even looked pretty happy about it. I mean, fair enough, it's not like he's headmaster of our school or anything like that, why should he give any fucks if his students get mauled to death by owls? I know I wouldn't.

We eventually had to dispatch a rescue mission when Sinclair realised Neville was trapped by the Hufflepuff table where the worst of the owl battle was going on. Luckily it wasn't that hard to employ our stealth skills to save Nev and bring him back to our fortress.

Of course our lowest point was when we ran out of Haribo and we all thought we might be trapped there forever. A lot of the students were still jumping around and screaming and shouting.

Eventually, when it seemed all hope was lost, the doors to the hall swung open and the ADM came striding in with a vile of blue liquid. He opened the vile up and threw it into the air. It exploded and blue smoke filled the hall. About a minute later the blue smoke cleared and all the owls (and Kevin) were knocked out cold.

In short, it was one of our more eventful breakfasts at Hogwarts.

"Are you two quite finished being lunatics?" Draco asks me and Sin in a crisp tone of voice.

Sin straightens and wanders closer to Draco. He stands a few inches away, and Draco watches him suspiciously. Draco's eyes widen suddenly and he snaps,

"Don't you _dare_ -"

Sinclair pounces on Draco, attacking him with a sideways hug. He wraps his arms around Draco and still keeps them walking at the same time. Draco starts squawking and trying to escape Sin's embrace, but it's no good.

Just as we're turning a corner, I step back a few paces and then take a running jump at Draco and Sinclair. I crash into them at full force and all three of us go down, Draco swearing loudly all the way. We end up on the ground, limps sticking out all over the place as we're wound together in a friendship-forced-cuddle-knot.

"What are they doing?"A familiar voice says not too far away.

I look up from my smooshed place on the floor to see Harry, Ron, Hermione and Nearly headless Nick all staring at us. Draco groans and presses his face into Sin's shoulder. Sinclair lifts a hand and says,

"Hiya Gryffs."

Harry actually comes over to help us get up from our heap on the ground. Or more accurately he helps me up by wrapping an arm around my waist and disentangling my body from his brothers and Draco's.

Harry raises an eyebrow at me and says,

"You're wet."

"I noticed," I reply dryly, "But don't worry, Draco already covered my wetness, there's no need for you to get involved as well."

For some reason Harry blushes at that and looks away from me. Weird.

"Do you people ever stop cuddling?" Ron says to us disbelievingly.

Draco and Sinclair help each other to their feet. Draco waves a hand at Ron, and because he can't seem to help himself when it comes to Weasley, he says,

"Don't get jealous just because your friends are afraid to catch Weasley disease if they hug you."

I look over and ask,

"Weasley disease? What's that?"

Draco smirks and gestures at Weasley's face,

"What? You don't think all those freckles just _happen_ do you? There's obviously cursed magic involved."

Uh oh.

Ron's face has turned red as a…really…red thing. There is no real comparison when it comes to Weasleys. Ron glares daggers at Draco and shouts,

"Come over here and say that Malfoy!"

"No! I don't want to catch the dreaded Weasels measles!" Draco shouts back, obviously satisfied that he got a rise out of the hot headed Gryffindor.

Ron looks about ready to attack, and Draco has his Malfoy mask of disdain on his face. Sinclair wraps a hand around Draco's neck and whispers something into his ear. Draco turns to glare at him, but Sinclair just smiles back charmingly. He can be surprisingly persuasive when he wants to be.

"I take it back, Weasley. You don't have a disease." Draco says in a bored tone, looking about one second from rolling his eyes.

Ron obviously still wants to knock Draco's block off, but he relents and mutters something under his breathe.

"You're all ridiculous," Hermione says, but not without affection.

I grin and wave at her. Hermione fixes me with a look and says,

"Especially you."

Rude.

"Hey," Harry says suddenly, and we all turn to look at him, "Does anyone feel like going to a deathday party?"

Nearly headless Nick positively beams at Harry.

A whatthefuck party?"

…..

"A promise is a promise," Hermione scolds Harry, "You said you'd go to the deathday party, so you have to go."

Harry groans, but does as he's told. No one messes with the colossal dorkzilla. Last time someone tried, Tokyo ended up getting ripped a new arsehole. I don't want Hogwarts to become the new Tokyo.

I tell Blaise this and he just stares at me for a solid minute, before saying,

"I don't know what that means, but I trust you."

"Probably a mistake on your part," Draco says from behind us nonchalantly.

"Hush your face!" I reach into my pocket and take out a handful of glitter. Then I throw it in his face.

Draco tucks and rolls, taking out his wand and firing off a hex at me. Harry grabs hold of me and spins us both away from the hex.

"Oi, Potter!" Draco shouts, "That's my best friend you're saving! I get to hex her, she's my friend, that's the way it works."

I nod solemly at Harry and extract myself from his arms,

"Those are the rules," I tell him.

"Oh my satan!" Sin declairs as he reaches us, "I leave you lot alone for five minutes and already there's glitter _everywhere_!"

"Why do you even have glitter in your pockets?" Harry asks me.

I shrug, because it's obvious,

"I always take glitter with me to parties. Just in case."

He frowns thoughtfully,

"In case of what?"

I twiddle a strand of his black hair and say,

"You know….. _just in case_."

"Mate, please, just go with it." Blaise says, amusement in his dark eyes.

I dance away from Harry and start swishing around in my deathday party dress. It's actually one of Millicent's, but since she'd never be caught dead wearing a girly dress, or a dress at all for that matter, she gave it to me. Obviously I had to tailor the dress a bit because our builds are quite different, but that was fun anyway.

It's all black lace, and I used the left over material to make a black lace cape! I look, so Boss. It's actually almost unfair to everyone else.

I spread my arms out wide and flick my cape dramatically, trying to mimic the ADM. Now there's a man who can pull off a cape. I smirk at my gang of friends and say,

"Be honest, just how epic do I look right now?"

Hermione rolls her eyes so hard that I'm afraid she's hurt herself.

Neville stammers nervously,

"You…look…pretty." I throw him a wink and he just about explodes.

Draco steps up to me and bows. He holds out his hand and I take it.

"You look magnificent, Dever."

Ron nods at me and says,

"I like the cape."

I salute him. Everyone should like the cape.

Blaise does the same bowing that Draco did and I let him take my hand as well. He smiles wickedly at me,

"You are the most divine creature I have ever set my eyes upon, Miss Granger."

That earns him a kiss to the cheek.

Sinclair steps up then and takes hold of my hand. He spins me around so my skirt flares, and then dips me low like in a film. He says in a clear mock of Draco's posh drawl,

"You look glorious, my love. Quite unlike the peasants we surround ourselves with." He looks pointedly at Harry.

Sin and I burst out laughing, unable to help ourselves.

"You're both completely mental," Harry tells us with a scowl on his face. He has such different facial expressions to Sin. I swear even if Sin had glasses, and his scar pointed the same way as Harry's, I'd still be able to tell them apart easily.

"Oh for goodness sake, can we get a move on, or we'll all be dead by the time we get to the deathday party." Hermione frets.

"All right, keep your hair on dorkzilla." I say with a wave of my hand.

Hermione glares at me, and I pretend not to notice, which I know only incenses her further.

So, anyway, we all bypass the hall and the sounds of the Halloween feast getting underway and instead we head towards the Dungeons.

The passageway leading to Nearly Headless Nick's party has been lined with black candles. Their flames are thin and coloured a vibrant blue. They throw shadows across the dark stone walls, giving the Dudgeon a seemingly chilling atmosphere. The temperature drops with every step we take towards the party. We all jump when a sound like a thousand fingernails scraping across a massive blackboard rings out through the air.

I rub my hands together evilly and say,

"Wicked, I love this song!"

They all turn to look at me. Ron asks,

"Is it supposed to be music?"

I give him a playful pat (whack) on the head and say,

"Of course. What? Haven't you ever listened to _The Deadly Violins_?"

"The….. _who_?" Blaise arches an eyebrow at me in question.

I frown at all my friends,

"Seriously? None of you have listened to The Deadly Violins?"

All I get are group of blank faces.

"What are The Deadly Violins?" Neville asks nervously. He's already looking like he might faint at any second.

"It's a _band_." I inform them.

"I've never heard of them," Sin muses.

"All the musicians are ghosts!" I tell him, bouncing on my toes.

"Let me guess," Draco says dryly, "they play violins."

I reach up to ruffle his air and he hisses at me like a kitty just like always when someone attempts to fuck with his hair. I ruffle it anyway. Just like always.

"Don't be mean, Zaco. The Deadly Violins are epically amazingly-"

"-Craptastic." A voice from behind us cuts me off.

I recognise that voice. It is the voice of my new nemesis.

I spin around to look, letting my cape billow out dramatically. I will not be taken by surprise by the most evil and obscene creature that I have ever encountered in my entire life.

I point at the monster and exlaim,

" _You!_ "

Draco, Sinclair and Blaise all back away from me. Sin mutters,

"Oh bloody hell, here we go again."

My ultimate nemesis stares back at me. She is also wearing a lace dress, but hers is white, and so is her cape made of a different material.

"Granger." My nemesis says, a pale eyebrow arched in challenge.

I narrow my eyes at her,

"Lovegood."

Now, you may all be wondering, why have I acquired a nemesis? Well, it's quite simple really. Luna Lovegood is evil. But I'm the only one who can see it.

I mean, she thinks Knarggles _steal_. Everyone knows that Knarggles only borrow things, they always give them back. It's part of their legal contract with the east Goblins.

She's clearly working for the dark side. Well, so am I, but that's completely different. I am a mighty and proud unicorn. Luna's just a sneaky evil moonbug, and I will endeavour to destroy her and all her evil plans.

I'm Luna's nemesis because she thinks all unicorns are secretly evil. Which is so completely NOT true, as we all know.

"The Deadly Violins are old school, and way over rated. Figures you would like them Granger." Luna says in that irritating simmering voice thing she does. I **_hate_** it!

"Kidnap any babies lately for a sacrifice?" I fire back at her.

Luna narrows her eyes at me,

"You have something to say, Granger, then say it!"

I glare with full on glaritude,

"I wasn't trying to say anything, Lovegood. I especially wasn't trying to say that you're an evil little sprite who eats children, nope, I would never say that."

Luna's hands clench into fists and she says,

"You don't want to start with me right now Granger, the Hedgeflies are on my side tonight."

I gasp and shake my head rapidly,

"You take that back! The Hedgeflies will never bow to you!"

I distantly hear Harry ask,

"What's a Hedgefly?"

And Draco answers in a bored tone of voice,

"It's a Hedgehog with wings."

"I don't think that's a thing," Ron says after a short pause.

"Hedgeflies are very dangerous," Sinclair tells him.

"Why?" Hermione asks, sounding like she doesn't want to ask but has to because otherwise she'll lose her swot badge.

"They breathe fire," Sin answers.

"That's _definitely_ not a thing." Ron says, sounding confused.

I'm distracted after that because Luna throws a hex at me, and for the next half an hour we duel. For honour. For glory. For the reputation and loyalty of the Hedgeflies!

** Sinclair's P.O.V **

I hear it only minutes after we leave the deathday party.

_"... rip... tear... kill..."_

Oh for fuck a ducks sake, not again!

It's the same awful voice from before, although it sounds slightly louder than last time.

Harry all but stumbles into the wall. He presses his ear against it and looks frantically over at me. I answer the wordless question in my brothers' eyes.

"I hear it too."

"Hear what?" Ever asks me, looking concerned.

Draco reaches out to touch my arm, his expression morphing into something even worse than concern. Dread.

"Is it that voice again, like last time?"

I nod; my teeth are gritted so hard that my jaw hurts.

_"... soo hungry... for so long..."_

"Everyone shut up and listen!" Harry curses, his expression set in determination.

We all stand still in the corridor, listening.

That horrid voice comes again.

_"... kill... time to kill..."_

But this time it sounds a bit fainter.

"It's moving!" I say to Harry, and he nods in agreement.

A feeling like trepidation and a sick sense of curiosity fills me up, and for some reason I want nothing more than to follow that voice. But at the same time I know that would be foolish. Plus all my friends would follow me if I ran after the voice and I don't want them to get hurt. Whatever it is sounds dangerous.

So, of course, only moments later that's exactly what Harry does. I swear he's gonna be the death of me. Or possibly more likely the murder of me.

"This way!" Harry calls.

Hermione and Ron chase after him without hesitation. God damn Gryffs.

Blaise, Draco, Ever and Neville all turn to me, apparently willing to wait for my decision. Part of me, a big part, just wants to go back to my dorm. I promised myself this year that I wasn't going to seek out trouble…..but I can't just leave my brother.

I sigh heavily and gesture grandly at where my brother went sprinting off like the prat he is.

"Come on then, let go save the Gryffindor's from themselves." I say reluctantly.

Draco groans at me,

"Oh but why? Just let the evil invisible voice have them, it'll be no great loss to the world. Just three less heroes ruining a perfectly good after-party buzz."

Blaise sends Draco an incredulous look and says,

"You really have gone full on native, haven't you?"

"Shut your face," Draco says mock politely to Blaise, and then he adds, "But seriously though, are we really gonna chase after Potter and his flying monkeys AGAIN!"

After the whole wizard of oz debacle with that floaty head, Ever and me forced Draco to watch the Wizard of Oz. He was genuinely horrified when the witch got melted with water and said to us ' _I knew muggles were dangerous'_.

Ever shakes her head at Draco and moves to stand beside me,

"Nah, it's the Gryffindor- Slytherin united force, remember."

"Alright fine," Draco says with a definite pout, "But I'm not fighting any more trolls!"

I exchange an amused glance with Ever and say,

"A fair request."

Then I start running after my suicidal brother. Yeah, some people may call it bravery.

I am not one of those people.

I hear Ever say to Draco as they run behind me,

"It was, like, _one_ troll Draco!"

And Draco replies,

"Yeah, and that's one more troll than I would have had to fight if we'd just stayed in the hall instead of gallivanting off like Gryffindor's."

We run up a marble staircase and down a few long corridors. I keep listening for the voice as we catch up to Harry.

Up ahead I hear the voice once again,

_"_ _... I smell blood... I SMELL BLOOD!"_

Uh oh.

"It smells blood!" I tell my friends.

"What smells blood?" Blaise asks, sounding bewildered.

"The voice inside Sin's head," Draco tells him without any sense of irony whatsoever.

"Ok, that made absolutely _zero_ sense." Blaise replies warily.

We practically crash land into Harry, Hermione and Ron when we round a corner on the second floor. I manage to keep us all from fucking right over. Just.

I quickly realise that the three Gryffs are staring up at the wall. Weird.

Ever gasps, and I swing round to look at her. Ever's eyes are wide. She points at the wall, horror creeping into her expression. Draco, Blaise and Neville all stop to gape at the wall as well.

I almost don't turn to look. I don't want to see what's on that wall, because it's sure to be something awful and wack-a-doodle.

But I know I have to.

I almost gasp myself when I see the glistening red letters written on the stone wall.

**THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS HAS BEEN OPENED. ENEMIES OF THE HEIR, BEWARE**

"What's that thing - hanging underneath?" Ron asks, and it's clear from his voice that he is not a happy bunny. He sounds scared.

I take a step forward and almost slip in something. Draco steadies me just in time. There's a big puddle of water covering the floor. Once I take another step closer I soon realise what the thing underneath the message is, and I leap backwards.

It's Mrs. Norris.

She's hanging from a torch, her eyes open and clearly vacant. I know a dead cat when I see a dead cat. And this right here, is a dead cat.

For about three very long seconds, none of us speak. It's utterly silent between eight of us.

Then Draco squeezes my arm and says,

"We have to leave. Now."

"But shouldn't we try to help the cat." Harry says, looking both awkward and a little bit ritious. As usual.

Ever steps forward and reaches out to touch Mrs. Norris. Her eyes are sad.

Blaise starts pulling Ever's arm, trying to get her to move back. He looks over at me and says,

"Seriously, we need to get away from here in case someone comes and-"

Blaise is cut off by the sounds of over a hundred feet coming our way. Far too soon students on their way back to their dorms enter the corridor from both sides, boxing us in.

They all stop to gawk at the morbid sight of Mrs Norris and the ominous red message on the wall. The corridor descends into silence once again.

That is until Theodore Knott decides to nominate himself for the Tosser of the year award when he calls out gleefully to us,

"Ha, enemies of the heir beware? All you mudbloods will be next!"

Ever leans in and whispers to me,

"What's a mudblood?"

I shrug and whisper back,

"I dunno, maybe it's a type of wizard cat."

Ever pauses at that, and then nods in acceptance. She turns to Draco,

"Is a mudblood a type of wizard cat?"

Draco's expression turns wary and his eyes dart between me and Ever for a few seconds before he replies carefully,

"Uh….yes. Yes it is. It's a…wizard….cat…that some purebloods don't like."

Ever frowns thoughtfully. Then she points at Knott angrily and shouts,

"I am not a cat Knott, you prat!"

Knot stares back at her, his weedy face darkening.

Point one for the mudbloods.


	18. The toilet of secrets: Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER. AT ALL. LIKE NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT. I PROMISE. BUT JK ROWLING DOES, SO, YAY FOR HER. ;)

** Sinclair's P.O.V **

"What in the name of smurf is going on here?"

Garfield's lover comes storming through the blockade of children surrounding us. His face is twisted in irritation. That is until he sees his beloved fluffy demon hanging off the wall looking decidedly deadafied. What in the name of smurf indeed.

"My cat!" Garfield's lover screeches, his eyes flashing with anguish, "My beautiful kitty cat! Noooooo!" His gaze darts around wildly, as if searching for someone to blame and then assassinate.

Draco realises the same thing and shoves Harry forward by 'accident'. Prat. Kinda funny though.

Garfield's lover latches on to that unspoken theory straight away though and points a gnarled finger at Harry, who merely looks confused.

"You did this!" Garfield's lover accuses furiously, "You murdered my darling cat-wife! You killed her! I'll kill you! You piece of shit, I'll murder your face!"

Ever leans into me and whispers,

"Did he just say 'cat-wife'?"

I shake my head, feeling slightly traumatised by the whole situation,

"I…no. Can't have. We're definitely hearing things."

"Oh no, he definitely said 'cat-wife'," Draco says quietly, his eyebrows furrowed.

"If you really think about it, it explains so much," Blaise points out, sounding a bit bemused.

Garfield's lover reaches out to strangle Harry, but Dumblebumble and his flying professor monkeys finally decide to show up and the mighty beardy man cuts Garfield's lover off mid-murder-rant.

"Argus! " Dumblebumble shouts, "Stop trying to strangle Harry Potter this instant! I repeat, you will _not_ murder Harry Potter!"

Oh, but fuck the rest of us.

Dumblebumble strides forward in his starry cape and takes the dead cat off the wall. Professor McGoggles and the ADM follow close behind. Professor McGoggles turns to us and asks,

"Right, which lot of you found Mrs Norris?"

Who? Is there a woman around here as well-

Oh. Right. The cat.

I always thought the cat's name was fluffy or tinkerbell or Steve. You know, something cat-like. Who names their cats like they're _people_? Nutjobs, that's who.

Professor McGoggles is still watching us expectantly (I never noticed how shiny her eyebrows are before). Professor Dumblebumble is too busy poking the cat with a stick (or it might be his wand, I don't know). Garfield's lover's fingers are twitching in Harry's direction, like he's imagining strangling him telepathically (Harry still appears confuzzled. I mean, why wouldn't he be? He has been framed for cat-murder by Draco). The ADM looks bored already (maybe he's just used to cat-death, who knows?).

Draco, Ever, me, Harry, Blaise, Ron, Neville and Hermione all keep our mouths firmly shut and our arms tight by our sides in the face of Professor McGoggles scrutiny. There's no way any of us are copping up to this one. I do not want to be branded an accessory to kitty murder. Harry is my brother and I love him, but I will _not_ go down with him for this.

The ADM serves us all a glare of monumental power. I almost want to cave and say I committed the murder just so he'll stop staring at me like that.

Ever seems to sense all of our unease. She steps forward and says solemnly,

"We request the right to attain a lawyer."

"I know a good lawyer," Draco says at least somewhat seriously.

"Brilliant," Blaise nods thoughtfully, "If he's the same one that got your father off the hook for serving the dark lord then get him on the phone right now."

Draco scowls at Blaise, but takes out his mobile phone anyway to call our lawyer. Apparently pureblood wizards can use apple IPhone's, but not washing machines or hoovers. They're like a load of bloody Uni students.

I raise my hand and shout,

"I plead the fifth!"

"Neville, stop shivering, you're making us look guilty!" Ron snaps at Neville.

"Objection, badgering your honour!" Ever calls out, raising her fist and waving it.

"I'm on your side!" Ron yells at her impatiently.

"Motion sustained!" Blaise says, smacking the wall with his wand.

It was mistake to buy a subscription to Netflix. The group of us spent the whole weekend watching all five seasons of Suits.

Everyone is staring at us, their mouths hanging open.

All the professors look slightly weirded out. Apart from the ADM of course who is still giving it his all glare-wise.

Draco is apparently on his phone with our lawyer now, because he suddenly turns back to us and says,

"Mr Gilmore thinks we shouldn't answer any of their questions without him being present, and he says that we should go over our spoken and written statements with him first, just in case he needs to prep us for a trial."

Brilliant.

The ADM reaches forward then and snatches Draco's phone. He hangs up without a word and slides the grey phone into his cape pocket. Did you know capes could have pockets? I mean wow, forget hover boards and space missions, that right there is some new age level shit.

"All of you will cease behaving in a ridiculous manner." The ADM tells us. It is not a request.

We all promptly shut the hell up again.

"Technically me and Neville haven't said anything," Hermione mutters with an almost silent huff. Neville just looks even more scared than before. I pat his arm in what I hope comes across as a reassuring and friendly manner. He is, after all, the only Gryffindor with a lick of sense inside his head, and he is therefore my favourite.

Neville smiles gratefully at me.

Dumblebumble finally stops poking the dead cat with his big stick (don't even) and he turns to all of us. His expression is surprisingly grave when he says,

"Argus, come along with me," he eyes the rest of us, "you lot come too."

Unfortunately that is when Lickhat decides to make an appearance. He pops up like a blond ferret and says delightedly,

"Oh, Professor Dumbledore, sir, please use my office, it's just upstairs-"

"Thank you, Gilderoy," Dumblebumble says and sweeps away still carrying the cat by it's tail.

My friends and I all exchange worried looks, but we follow on after Dumblebumble to meet our fates.

….

Yeah, so, the cat isn't dead everyone.

I'll allow you all a minute to digest that and give a great sigh of relief. Or a sigh of 'gosh darn it' if you particularly hate cats.

Well, at least Harry won't be getting arrested by the wizard cops for cat-murder. Now it's just _attempted_ cat murder. He'll probably be out of Askabutt within ten years I'd reckon. Harry did not appreciate it when I pointed that out. In fact his reaction was to throw a pinecone at my head and storm off in a huff. God, he's so emotional sometimes.

According to Dumblebumble the cat was petrified by some all-powerful dark wizardy person. Garfield's lover still thinks it was definitely Harry. I'm not so sure of that myself, but then again, can you ever really _know_ a person? Maybe my brother actually is a dark wizard and-

Pfftttt ha ha ha ha ha ha!

I couldn't even finish that sentence inside my head without laughing. The day my bonehead brother turns out to be an all-powerful _anything_ , let alone a dark wizard, is the day I start making friends with owls. Those _fiends_.

Voldebert took my tie hostage yesterday. She held it in her claws and just stared at me. I chucked a pillow at her. Voldebert retaliated by flying away with my tie out the window. I ended up having to trade a mouse for my tie. Ever suggested that I should set up some owl traps around the dorm room. Blaise and Draco threatened to hand me over to the owl horde if I did any such thing.

The whole school won't shut up about all that crap written on the wall and the dead cat. Although they seem mostly interested in the theory that Harry did it. I'm not sure why my brother being evil is inherently so easy to believe. It's not like he killed a dark lord or anything.

I'm still of the opinion that Harry was the one who zapped Lady Voldepop. I bet being a righteous hero was just in his blood even back then.

Harry got all moody when a boy named Justin Fletchley from Hufflewuffle, or whatever the badger house is called, completely blanked him when he tried to say hi. I asked Harry why he was bothered since he never really hangs out with anyone but Ron, Hermione and Neville. And of course his Slytherin allies.

Justin apparently ran away from Harry like he was scared of him. Ever pointed out to my brother that this is a good thing and he should use his newly harnessed fear factor to take control of the masses.

Ginny and Luca haven't stopped asking us all questions about what happened. Strangely though, Scorpius just appears upset whenever someone mentions it. Weird. I figured he'd be the first to jump into nosy parker mode.

Garfield's lover has made it his mission to get that red message off the stone wall. He's tried everything, Mrs. Skower's All-Purpose Magical Mess Remover, Squeaky Easy Spells, and of course, Mr Sheen. I suggested he try using some water and soap with a dish rag. He almost bit me. Quite literally. If he hadn't been standing on that ladder then his teeth would have been safely lodged in my cheek, the crazy sod.

If this is what cat-grief does to you then I might seriously need to consider taking out life insurance on Bubbles.

I tried to sympathise with Garfield's lover cat owner to cat owner, but it just ended up with him crying all over me. I won't bring Bubbles along next time because Garfield's lover might try to steal my cat and make him as his cat mistress or something.

We're all in the library doing our homework, or playing a massive game of scrabble, depending on who asks.

Hermione is surrounded by books and her frizzy head is buried in one bigger than her body right now. I have no idea what she's researching. I know Ever's gone full on dorkzilla trying to find out stuff about 'the chamber of secrets', so it's possible Hermione is doing the same. Those two aren't as different as they'd like to believe. Not that I'll be saying that anytime soon unless I want to get hexed to death by Ever.

"Look, mate, don't worry about it, Justin's an idiot anyway." Ron says to Harry.

Harry grumbles something under his breathe that I can't hear.

"Oh you aren't still going on about that twatwaffle, are you?" I say, looking over my brother who is slumped in his seat quite dejectedly.

"I just don't get why everyone thinks I'd kill a cat and write a stupid message on the walls." Harry complains.

"They don't really," Draco looks up then and says, "It's just that they want to blame someone because they're scared and you're an easy target."

"Yeah, because you _made me_ the target," Harry says crossly.

I can practically feel Draco trying to keep the smug look off his face as he replies,

"Now, don't be ridiculous. All I did was stumble into you a little bit, I hardly see how it's my fault that Mr Filtch accused you of murdering his _wife_."

"I did not murder his wife!" Harry says in exasperation.

Blaise smirks and says,

"No, of course not, you murdered his cat."

"Exactly, thank you." Harry exclaims, sounding relieved, and then his own words seem catch up with him and he adds, "I did not murder anyone! Cat or no cat!"

Ever suddenly appears from around a stack of books and looks right at Harry with a wry smile on her face. She says,

"Me thinks the lady doth protest too much."

"What?" Harry pretty much yells.

Ever crosses her arms and leans against a book shelf. She eyes Harry thoughtfully and then says,

"Only guilty men shout about cat murder, Harry. Remember that."

Before anyone can respond to that, Ever turns to me,

"All the copies of Hogwarts, A History have been taken out. "

That brings Hermione out of her reading daze and she says,

"I know. There's a two week waiting list."

"Why do you want it?" Ron asks.

"To read about the chamber of secrets, dummy." Ever answers with a shrug.

"What's that?" Harry seems to have calmed down a bit now and he's looking at Ever curiously.

"A chamber," Ever says, speaking like she's talking to a stupid child (which she kind of is), "for secrets." The 'duh' is implied.

" _What_ secrets?" Harry asks hotly.

"I don't know, that's why they're secrets." Ever shakes her head at him, "If we all knew what the secrets were then it wouldn't be called the chamber of secrets, it would be called the chamber of…of…"

"-exposed truths?" I suggest thoughtfully.

Ever points at me and grins,

"Perfect. There you go."

"That doesn't sound very scary or foreboding," Draco says, his small nose scrunching up.

"My point exactly," Ever says with a satisfied look on her face. Ever turns to Harry, "Stop wasting everyone's time with stupid questions Harry for flip flop sake."

Harry narrows his eyes at Ever and says,

"You're a mean little unicorn."

Ever's eyes glitter dangerously and she replies,

"Unicorns know how to slap a bitch. Booyah."

I think we all know who the all-powerful dark person in our group would be.

** Ever's P.O.V **

I decided to skip class again, and I've dragged Draco, Blaise and Sinclair along with me.

We're meant to be in our History of Magic lesson, which is taught by the most boring professor in the land. Otherwise known as Professor Binbag. I never thought magic could seem boring until I attended his class.

This year I haven't been to his class once. Since he literally just recites our textbooks anyway, I simply find time to read the book and I swear I know more than everyone else in our year. Apart from Hermione of course.

Professor Bingbag is another Casper groupie and he doesn't notice that I'm not there because he's the only teacher who never takes a register. It would look suspicious if I was sometimes there and sometimes not, so I just don't ever go. I know it shouldn't work, but it does, so I'm not looking a gifted whatsit in the face hole.

Me and the boys are hiding in one of our abandoned classrooms and sitting in a circle on the floor. Blaise has cracked out the biscuits, Draco's serving up some conjured hot chocolate and Sinclair's got his music playing along with a silencing charm so no one can hear it outside of our little bubble.

"What is it you wanted to show us?" Draco asks me as he hands over a steaming cup.

I grab my bag and pull out a copy of Hogwarts, A History and show it to them.

"I thought they were all taken out," Sin says with a frown.

I smile sweetly at him,

"They were."

Blaise scoffs out a laugh,

"Who'd you have to kill to get it then?"

I put on a mock affronted face,

"I didn't have to kill a single human. Millicent stole one off of a first year and I traded with her."

"Well go on then, what does it say about the chamber of secrets?" Sin asks, leaning forward eagerly.

"My father told me about it once," Draco says, and takes a bite of jaffa cake.

I shake my head at him,

"Why didn't you say so before?"

Draco shrugs,

"I didn't really remember much of what he told me until you mentioned it earlier."

"Bad form, Zaco," I scold him.

Draco appears sufficiently told off and pouts in that way that always makes Sinclair instantly forgive him.

I roll my eyes, but decline to comment, since I'm too excited to talk about the chamber of secrets.

"So, basically," I start to explain, "Hogwarts was founded over a billion years ago – ok maybe more like a thousand but whatever- by the four head cheese witches and wizards of the time. The four school Houses are named after them: Godric Gryffindor, Helga Hufflepuff, Rowena Ravenclaw, and Salazar Slytherin. Their ridiculous names might also explain why Hogwarts is such a ridiculous place itself. They built this castle together, which again might explain why Hogwarts acts like a castle on meth."

I pause to look around at my audience of three. Thankfully they are all giving me their full attention or I might have had to deduct house points.

"For a while, the head cheeses worked alright together, going out to find young whipper snappers like us who showed signs of magic and bringing them to the castle to be taught wand waving and other such nonsense. But then one of head cheeses decided enough was enough. All the Slytherin's started hating on the crappier houses, and I mean who can really blame them. Slytherin is the only house with a half decent name. Apparently Slytherin wanted to be more picky and choosy about the students who got to attend Hogwarts. He thought that learning magic stuff should be kept within all-magic families. He didn't like Muggle wuggles, he thought they were sneaky little shits. After a while, there was a serious barmy showdown between Slytherin and Gryffindor, and Slytherin hopped off."

I grin then, because we're getting to the good part.

"According to the legends, Slytherin had constructed a hidden chamber in the castle, which the other big cheeses knew nothing about because even back then security was seriously lacking at Hogwarts. Slytherin apparently sealed the Chamber of Secrets so that no random riff raff would be able to take a peak until his great great great great great ect grandchild could come and open it. Only his heir would be able to get into the Chamber of Secrets, unleash the evil monster within, and use that monster to eliminate from the school of all the non-pureblood types."

All three boys stare at me for a good few minutes before Sinclair finally cracks and asks in an awed tone of voice,

"What kind of monster?"

"A monster only the heir of Slytherin can control," Draco says, completely deadpan, "I remember my father telling me that part. He also told me that the chamber was opened once before. Not when he was at Hogwarts, but sometime this century. Obviously the monster inside the chamber is some kind of snake."

"Well of course. Slytherin was a parstlemouth, so it has to be a snake monster." Blaise says, nodding in agreement with Draco.

Sinclair's face suddenly goes deadly pale and he asks,

"What's a parstlemouth?"

Draco turns to him,

"A parstlemouth is someone with the ability to speak parstletongue; snake language."

Sin's vibrant green eyes blow wide and he almost seems to choke on oxygen. He's definitely making his 'oh shit' face,

"Sin, what's wrong?" I ask, hearing the concern in my own voice.

Sinclair is clenching his fists so hard that his knuckles have turned white. His eyes are hard and his expression is one of resigned horror. He looks up at us then and says coldly,

"I can talk to snakes."

 _No. Effing. Way_.

...

A few days later, Draco, Sinclair and I are walking through the corridors talking in hushed tones once again about the minute possibility that Sin may be the heir of Slytherin. I mean, I think that's rubbish, since Sinclair is obviously not the one killing cats and writing blood messages, but we can't completely discount the idea until we figure out another reason why Sin can talk to snakes.

Draco clearly thinks the fact that Sin is a parstlemouth is wicked and amazing. Sin on the other hand is not so thrilled. I can't say I blame him since the moment people find out about it they'll be shunning him big style. I mean, everyone is already pretty afraid of Harry and he's _Harry,_ the Gryffindor golden boy. If the whole school already treats Harry like shit, then how much worse would it be for a Slytherin like Sinclair?

My guess is pretty damn awful.

Anyway, the three of us are mid conversation when we walk past an out of order girls bathroom, the one where moan-face resides, just in time to see Harry, Ron and Hermione comes striding out.

Weirdoes.

"Oi, you lot," I call over to them, they all turn in unison and I have to stop myself from cracking up at the fear in their eyes. They probably thought I was a professor or something.

"Um, you two know that's a _girls_ bathroom, right?" Sin says, quirking an eyebrow in Harry and Ron's direction.

Ron flushes pink and Harry snaps back at his brother,

"Shut up, Sin. You don't know me. You don't know how I identify myself."

"The cat murderer has a point," I say to Sin.

"For the last time I did not kill that cat!" Harry shouts, looking about two seconds away from actually stamping his foot like an errant two year old.

I hold my hands up in a placating motion. Draco slides me a mock scowl and says,

"Yeah, Dever, I think you'll find he's just a _suspected_ attempted cat murderer. Get your facts straight."

"This isn't funny!" Ron all but snarls at us, his face still red with embarrassment.

"We need to figure out who the heir of Slytherin is," Hermione says matter-of-factly. "This is very serious. Also, did you know that Ron is afraid of spiders."

Ron whips around to look at a slightly smirking Hermione.

"Traitor!" Ron announces, pointing at my sister.

Sin scoffs,

"Afraid of spiders? That's ridiculous."

"Says the boy who's afraid of owls!" Ron says in disbelief.

Sin's expression becomes stormy,

"My fears are both legitimate and warranted. Anyone who trusts an owl is a fool, and I shall not fall for their beguiling fluffy ways."

"It's called Oclophobia," I interject, "A fear of owls I mean. A fear of spiders is arachnophobia"

"Wow, you are just revealing more and more dorkzilla tendencies lately," Draco says with a shake of his head.

I gasp dramatically and 'fall' against Sin,

"You _wound_ me sir!"

"We think we know who the heir of Slytherin is, and we have a plan to investigate," Harry says somewhat triumphantly.

I think he wants us to clap or something.

Sin narrow his eyes at his brother and asks,

"Is it a plan that will break rules?"

"Yes," Hermione admits reluctantly.

"Is it a plan that will possibly be dangerous?"

"Yes," Ron says almost gleefully.

"Is it a plan that will lead to an adventure including either chaos or mayhem?"

"Probably," Harry answers with a grin.

Sin slaps his hands together and says,

"Well, then that's all I need to know." He grabs hold of both myself and Draco and starts pulling us away. "We will not be involved in your Gryffindor madness. Count us out of this one." Sin tells the three Gryffs.

"But don't you at least want to know what the plan is?" Harry asks, sounding honestly perplexed.

Sin doesn't even turn back as he replies,

"Nope. That would only tempt me and my friends into becoming part of the plan itself, and I refuse to be drawn into your reckless plot."

Draco and I exchange a glance, but we allow ourselves to be pulled away by Sin. Once we're a safe distance away Draco asks Sin,

"Soooo...are we actually not going to try and find out who the heir of Slytherin is?"

Sin rolls his eyes and says,

"Of course we are. If nothing else we need to make sure it's definitely not me. I just don't think we need to get involved in a plan three Gryffindor's came up with in a girls bathroom."

I make a gun motion and point it at Sin,

"Good call."

"So...how are we going to find out who the heir of Slytherin is?" Draco asks, raising an eyebrow at Sin.

Sinclair smirks then and says,

"We're going to trick a professor who was around at the time into telling us what happened when the chamber of secrets was opened before."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone for reading, please comment! xxx


	19. The toilet of secrets: Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER. AT ALL. LIKE NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT. I PROMISE. BUT JK ROWLING DOES, SO, YAY FOR HER. ;)

** Sinclair's P.O.V **

I am going to murder Gilderboy Lickhat.

I hate him. With a fiery passion that consumes my entire being.

I am going to assassinate him. Or pay someone to assassinate him. I'm sure there are wizard hitmen, right? I mean who else would rich purebloods contact to dispatch their enemies?

Ever since the whole pixie fiasco, Lickhat has been forcing me to re-enact bullshit parts of his 'adventures'. I swear to satan, it was bad enough having to read about them in his books, but actually having to stand up in front of the class and prance around like a prat is so much worse.

Of course Ever, Draco and Blaise think it's hilarious. I hate them too.

"When you say we're going to trick a professor…." Blaise says doubtfully, "You don't actually think Professor Mcgoggles or Dumblebumble will tell us anything about the chamber of secrets do you?"

They've been here the longest, so I figured they'd know since Draco said the chamber was opened sometime this century.

"Well I'm not suggesting we just go up to them and _ask_." I reply to Blaise sardonically.

"Then what are we going to do?" Blaise questions, his brow furrowing.

Blaise and I are watching Ever and Harry play mop racing. Although the teams are technically Gryffindor and Slytherin, it's clear to pretty much everyone that the game is really all about Ever and Harry.

I know I'm not the only one in this stadium who is only watching Ever as she glides through the air with an almost unnatural sense of grace and control. It's truly beautiful sometimes to watch her fly. She looks like a magnificent bird, searching for her prey.

Actually, that's sort of a lie. I'm not just watching Ever. Draco tried out for the mop racing team and now he's a chaser for Slytherin. Ever and Draco have been yapping and gossiping about mop racing for weeks ever since Draco got on the team. I've never seen two people so excited to look ridiculous together on broomsticks.

I've been trying hard not to rain on their parade even though I still think Quidditch is a ludicrous sport. At least Blaise is still on my side. The **_sane_** side.

Don't laugh!

I nudge Blaise's side. He's still watching me with a frown on his face. I have to admit that when I first came up with the plan to trick a professor into telling us all about the chamber of secrets, I didn't actually know how we'd do it.

But Ever and I have been scheming for the last few weeks, and we think we've come up with a pretty boss plan.

I lean in close to Blaise and attempt to explain our evil plan to him. When I'm finished, Blaise just sits there for a good few minutes looking stunned. Then confused. Then sceptical.

"We're going to stage a fake petrification?" Blaise says.

I nod enthusiastically,

"Ever found a completely harmless potion that will make it look like someone has been petrified, but they'll actually just be in a deep sleep."

Blaise shakes his head slowly,

"First of all, that's completely insane."

I nod in agreement,

"But you're on board, right?"

"Of course." Blaise says, looking slightly offended that I needed to ask. "Who are we sacrificing for the greater good and for the sake of saving everyone and blah blah blah?"

"For the sake of us being nosy gits, you mean?"

Blaise shrugs one shoulder and says,

"Well yeah. What better reason is there to sacrifice someone?"

I make an affirmative noise and place a hand on Blaise's shoulder. I angle us towards the Gryffindor stand. I spot Neville quite easily. He's wearing three scarves. None of the scarves are in Gryffindor colours. One of them is even a Slytherin scarf that Ever charmed (forced) him into wearing.

Of course Neville is being shunned. I'm pretty he doesn't notice the difference.

I think I'm still being shunned by all of Slytherin for losing those house points last year. I honestly cannot tell. I should ask Draco, he's the only one who notices the shifts in mood within our house. I mean, I'm all for child politics, but I'm not getting into a war over _house points._

I still don't even know what house points **are**. Or what they actually do. Well I suppose some things will just have to remain a mystery in my life.

I nod my head towards Neville and Blaise clocks on pretty quickly.

"Neville? We're sacrificing _Neville_?"

"He's already taken the potion. It'll take effect sometime tonight." I explain. "Ever convinced him to do it."

Blaise snorts out a laugh,

"Of course she did."

Ever and I did think about who would be the best choice for our scheme. We went through a variety of options. At first we figured Knott, for obvious reasons. But we discarded that idea after deciding that we didn't want to become entangled in whatever plot the insane Gryffindor's are coming up with.

"It's completely safe…besides, Neville is a _Gryffindor_ , they go in for all that 'save the innocent' stuff." I wave a hand in the direction of the Gryffindors.

Blaise looks vastly amused. But then suddenly his face pinches thoughtfully and he asks,

"But, I still don't quite understand, how will poisoning Neville-"

"We aren't _poisoning_ him. We're just putting him to sleep for a while. Like sleeping beauty, but without the wake up kiss part." Thank _Christ_.

"Fine. How does putting down Neville help us find out more about the chamber of secrets?" Blaise crosses his arms and watches me with an arched eyebrow.

"It doesn't necessarily. Not on its own. But that's why we have a phase two." I lift two fingers and brandish them at Blaise.

Blaise's interest kicks up another notch and he leans towards me again,

"What's phase two?"

"Phase two has already been put into place." I grin smugly.

"Go on then, don't leave me in suspense." Blaise urges, tapping my arm a few times.

I shift subtly closer to Blaise and whisper,

"I planted listening devices on Dumbledore's robes, hat and beard."

Blaise's eyes blow wide in shock and he all but shouts,

"YOU _BUGGED_ DUMBLEDORE?!"

I slap a hand over his mouth and hush him. Luckily the mop game is loud enough that no one around us heard Blaise.

"But seriously though….you _bugged_ Professor Dumbledore?"

I reply smoothly,

"I bloody well did 'an all. So, when he finds out an innocent student, a.k.a Neville, has been 'petrified' he'll be bound to talk about the chamber of secrets with _someone_. That's how we'll get him."

Blaise openly gapes at me until his pureblood training finally comes into play and he snaps his mouth closed. He still looks stunned though.

"I cannot believe you went all James Bond on Dumblebumble." Blaise says, shaking his head in disbelief.

Honestly it wasn't that difficult. Getting the listening devices into his beard was definitely the hardest part. We charmed them to look invisible, but we didn't want to use too much magic just in case Professor Dumblebumble stopped playing around with his stick long enough to notice and catch us out.

I highly doubt that would happen considering how our prestige headmaster has done a brilliant job of containing the threat of petrification within our school by doing absolutely fuck all about it. By this point Professor Dumeblebumble is less of a head master and more a glorified creepily eccentric grandfather. Make that _great_ grandfather. Bloke is super duper old.

I feel so safe right now, it's unreal.

"To be fair, it'll be a lot easier to know about all the trouble going on in school if we have a direct line of info coming from Dumblebumble." I say solicitously to Blaise.

"Makes sense to me." Blaise approves.

It's just about at that point when everything goes to fucking hell out on the mop racing field.

"Oh my God!" Someone shrieks.

My gaze jerks upwards and I immediately catch sight of my brother getting battle rammed by a pissed of ball. Harry stutters in the air and for a second it looks like he might fall. The pissed off ball goes for him again and I jump to my feet. I have my wand out before I can even consciously think about it.

Blaise is standing beside me, but all I can focus on is my brother.

"Harry!" I hear a familiar shout.

I catch sight of Ever barrelling towards Harry and the pissed off ball like a fury from hell. Her hair has come loose from its knot and it blows wildly around her face. She has her arm outstretched and her wand pointed towards the pissed off ball.

I notice that Draco is already at Harry's side and is trying to help him stay on his broom. My heart clenches painfully when I see the pissed off ball smack into both Draco and Harry. Both of them almost lose their balance and I let out a desperate shout.

" _Topazus ruktas_!" Ever practically screams. A flicker of blue light sparks out of her wand.

A moment later the pissed off ball is immobilised and caught in a web of magic.

I feel my body sag in relief. Thank bloody hells bells that Ever is a competent witch. I think both Harry and me would be dead by now without that insane girl.

Whilst everyone in the stadium is still screaming and faffing about like lunatics, I start pushing past whoever the hell gets in my way so I can get down onto the field. Harry, Draco and Ever all fly down to the ground. Draco and Harry are holding onto each other tightly. Now that there is no longer imminent danger, I feel quite validated in storing away that information for later so I can take the piss out of both my best friend and my twin for their cuddle session.

When I get down to the field, all the professors are already there. They're crowded around Harry and Draco. Ever is standing off to the side, with the pissed off ball floating mutinously next to her, but still caught in the web.

I make my way over to Ever, Blaise following close behind me.

Ever gives me a tired smile when I reach her and she says,

"Your brother really needs to stop getting almost murdered during our games. I'm starting to think he's doing it on purpose just so he doesn't have to lose to me."

"I don't see why my brother getting almost murdered should mean you can't still win." I reply with a wry grin.

I know none of this is funny at all, but by this point we've all already almost died enough times that it no longer has the same impact.

Ever shuffles a little closer to me and brings up her hand. She opens it to reveal the golden snitch sitting snuggly in her palm. I raise an eyebrow at her and whispers,

"I was waiting for the appropriate moment to reveal my victory." Ever's eyes dart over to where Harry is being molested by everyone, "I don't want to seem insensitive." She adds.

I have to hide my smirk. Blaise makes no effort to hide his.

"He fainted!" Draco yells over to us.

I snap out of my amusement just like that and I run over to Harry, pushing past the crowd to reach him. Draco is still holding my brother so he isn't just slumped on the ground.

"Are you alright?" I ask Draco, worry flaring up again for my friend. When he almost fell right out of the sky I thought my heart would burst, I hated the thought of him being injured in any way.

Draco smiles a little weakly at me and nods,

"I think so. But this is the last time I'm saving your brother's life I'm afraid. Next time he's in imminent peril, he's on his own."

I can't help but return his tentative smile,

"Fair enough. At least now he owes you. He can save your life next time."

Draco appears abstractly horrified for a moment and says,

"That sounds more like a curse than an advantage to me."

Point.

I take a look at my brother. Harry doesn't seem to be all that bent out of shape. The only big concern I can see is his arm, which looks a bit weird. It could be broken. I wouldn't be surprised considering he just got inappropriately touched by a pissed off ball of unknown rage.

Ron and Hermione come bulldozing down onto the pitch then, both of them making a fuss and blathering on about wubbish. I don't know, I'm not really paying attention.

I keep my eyes fixed on Harry's face. He's clearly still breathing, so that's a plus. If you're in the pro-life-Harry group.

Ever comes over and kneels down beside Harry. She reaches out to take his hand in hers. Her big eyes are full of genuine concern and distress over my brother's apparent state.

Draco looks exceedingly uncomfortable with his position and he gives me a pleading look. I just smirk at him.

Harry suddenly jerks awake, his bright green eyes blowing wide open and staring.

"Hey there my favourite whale, you doing ok?" For someone who was almost killed.

Harry frowns at me, he looks a little dizzy, but nothing too major.

Of course then I'm practically elbowed out of the way by, shock and horror, Gilderboy Lickhat. Why universe, WHY?

Harry actually attempts to shuffle backwards, saying,

"Oh no, no, no, not you!"

Lickhat shakes his head, a jovial expression on his face. He flashes his blinding teeth and says,

"Oh, the poor boy is obviously confused. Don't worry, Harry, I'm going to fix your arm."

Fucking hell in a handbasket, this is not going to end well.

Harry jerks away from Lickhat,

"No, I'm fine, I'll keep my arm like this thanks-"

"Nonsense my boy!" Lickhat waves a hand dramatically, "I'll have you fixed up in no time at all. I've used this charm countless times."

Why is no one trying to stop this madness?!

I mean I know why I'm not stopping it. For future comedic purposes. But everyone else is just standing around gaping like useless fishies for no reason whatsoever.

Shameful. Honestly shameful.

"I think he should go to the hospital wing, sir," Ever says gamely, her eyes flickering dangerously between Lickhat and Harry.

"Rubbish!" Lickhat desclares. He branishes his wand at Harry's broken arm. Before anyone can react, Lickhat shouts, " _Bubblo beebles fixas armus_!"

Ok, I know magic sometimes sounds ridiculous, but that really is pushing it one step too far.

Predictably, Harry's arm is not 'fixed', instead it droops like a big piece of spaghetti. Is anyone surprised? No, no they are not, because Lickhat is clearly completely useless. He is a bumbling fool and he should be put down for the sake of humanity. Like for real though.

** Ever's P.O.V **

"Bloody hell, it's the Gnome!" I whisper-shout excitedly.

I point at the strange creature sitting at the end of Harry hospital bed. From Sin's descriptions I recognise the creature instantly. It also helped that Harry said 'Dobby' when he suddenly appeared.

After lights out in the dorms I borrowed the invisibly cloak and snuck down the hospital wing to visit Harry. He was already sitting up and looking miserable. That bloody Gilderboy knob got rid of the bones in Harry's lower arm, so now he's having to regrow them.

Harry leans over and flicks my hair,

"He's a sodding elf!"

I wave a hand at him,

"Yeah, yeah, keep your panties unknotted."

"You frustrate me." Harry grumbles, his unnaturally green eyes narrowing in my direction. I can see them, even in the darkness.

I grin at Harry,

"You're just upset because I won the game today, Potter."

Harry looks outraged for a second and he snaps,

"You wish Granger. You only won by default because someone was trying to kill me. It doesn't count."

I shove at his arm,

"I was winning way before that bludger attacked you. Don't be a sore loser."

Harry opens his mouth to argue, but he's cut off by Dobby. Who, by the way, does not look happy in the slightest.

"Harry and Sinclair Potter came back to school," Dobby whispers tearily. "Dobby warned and warned Potter twins. Ah sir, why didn't you heed Dobby? Why didn't Potter twins go back home when they missed the train?"

"What are you doing here?" Harry demands heatedly, "And how do you know we missed the train?"

Uh oh.

Dobby the gnome looks extremely repentant, and I begin to feel bad for him. It clicks with Harry a moment later.

"You made us miss the train!" Harry growls irately.

"Indeed yes, sir," wails Dobby, nodding his head vigorously, his massive ears flapping all over the place. "Dobby hid and watched for Potter twins and sealed the gateway and Dobby had to iron his hands afterward" - he flashes us his badly burned fingers wrapped in bandages - "but Dobby didn't care, sir, for he thought Potter twins were safe, and never did Dobby dream that Potter twins would get to school another way!"

"Technically," I say reasonably, "It was Ron's idea. So this whole thing is basically Weasley's fault."

I think we can all agree with that logic, yes? Yes, good. We'll probably have to ship Weasley off to Askabutt, but since Ron has so many siblings, I doubt anyone will notice all that much.

Harry shakes his head at me and says,

"We are not sending Ron to Azkaban."

Whoops, I may have said all that out loud.

I frown at Harry,

"Why not? He might like it there, you don't know. He can be the first Weasley to be convicted. Ron's always talking about wanting to stand out in his family. This could be his only chance."

Harry actually pauses then, like he's considering it. After a few moments though he says,

"Nope. Ron'll never go for it."

"Who says he gets a choice?" I reply, raising my eyebrow suggestively at Harry.

Harry tilts his head to the side thoughtfully.

"It wasn't really his fault though." Harry looks at Dobby again, "It was yours for blocking the barrier!"

Dobby the gnome starts trembling and he shakes his head vigorously,

"Dobby was so shocked when he heard Potter twins were back at Hogwarts, he let his master's dinner burn! Such a flogging Dobby never had, sir..."

Lucas Maltoy is a prick. I'm calling it now. How he ever raised two boys like Draco and Scorpius I'll never know.

"Bad gnome." I say mock seriously, wagging my finger at Dobby.

Dobby appears confused and he starts tugging on his ears.

"You is strange." Dobby says to me.

Harry actually smiles at that,

"Ha, see, the magical **_elf_** thinks you're strange. What does that tell you?"

I smirk at him and say,

"That I'm epic."

Harry rolls his eyes dramatically and makes a disgruntled sound.

"You almost got us expelled!" Harry shouts at Dobby.

I reach over and place a hand over his mouth,

"Calm down, stop being a meany bo beany to the gnome."

Harry gives me a dry look, his stunningly green eyes sparking with fury. He is one angry potato. Except he's not a potato. He is angry though, so my point still stands.

Dobby blows his nose loudly on the pillow case he's wearing. By the way….

"Hey, Dobster, why are you wearing that pillow case?" I ask the clearly very upset gnome. I blame Harry.

Dobby pulls a weird face. I think he's attempting to smile. It isn't going very well.

"Tis a mark of the house-elf's enslavement, miss. Dobby can only be freed if his masters present him with clothes, miss. The family is careful not to pass Dobby even a sock, miss, for then he would be free to leave their house forever."

Another strike for Malfoy incorporated.

Harry starts tickling me so I'll take my hand away from his mouth. I slap at his head. Harry growls at me. I poke my tongue out at him.

Dobby suddenly lets out a loud sob and cries,

"Sinclair and Harry Potter must go home! Dobby thought his Bludger would be enough to make-"

I let my hand drop away from Harry's mouth in shock. Harry gapes at Dobby and hisses furiously,

"Your Bludger? Dobby you raving lunatic! You could have killed me! _And Ever_ , she was right next to me when it attacked!" Harry adds grudgingly, "And Draco, when he tried to help me."

I almost smirk at that. Oh look at the proud little Gryffindor trying to be fair. I can't decide if it's sad or cute when Harry goes all 'noble hero'.

Dobby looks horrified and he hastens to 'reassure' Harry,

"Not kill you, sir. I never meant to kill you. I just wanted to keep you safe."

Harry glowers then and says,

"What about Sinclair? Why wasn't he attacked by something?"

I watch Dobby expectantly.

Dobby makes a sheepish face and replies,

"Dobby knew master Sinclair would go home with his twin, sir."

"What, so you just flipped a coin to decide which one of us you would attack?" Harry demanded, his eyes narrowing into slits.

Dobby starts pulling at his ears again nervously. He looks up at Harry embarrassedly,

"No, sir."

"You attacked me instead of Sinclair on purpose?" Harry's voice rises again.

"Yes, sir." Dobby tilts his head in a nod.

"Why?" Harry asks, sounding suspicious.

Dobby shifts around uncomfortably for a few moments. I can't stop myself from smirking at Harry,

"Clearly Sinclair is Dobby's favourite." I say.

Harry scoffs and crosses his arms belligerently,

"Oh surprise, surprise. Sinclair is everyone's favourite."

"Well he does have better hair than you." I comment solicitously.

Dobby tugs on his ears hard enough to make me wince and he says imploringly to Harry,

"Sinclair Potter is amazing, sir. Ever since he became friends with master Draco, master Draco has been nice to Dobby, sir. Sinclair Potter made master Draco different, sir. He made him into a good egg, sir. Sinclair Potter was k-kind to other house elves when he came to stay at Malfoy manor for Christmas. No one is kind to house elves, sir."

Harry sighs dramatically and rubs a hand over his face. He mutters,

"Bloody Sinclair."

I nudge Harry's side,

"Jealous. Sin is the gnome whisperer."

"Why are you even trying to 'save' me and my brother anyway?" Harry questions Dobby, but he sends a quick glare my way.

I blow him a kiss. Harry looks away, his cheeks darkening with a blush. He is so easy.

"Ah, if Harry Potter only knew!" Dobby squeals, massive tears drip from his bulging gnome eyes. "If he knew what the Potter twins mean to us, to the lowly, the enslaved, we dregs of the magical world! Dobby remembers how it was when He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named was at the height of his powers, sir! We house-elves were treated like vermin, sir! Of course, Dobby is still treated like that, sir," Dobby sniffles loudly, "But mostly, sir, life has improved for my kind since the Potter twins triumphed over He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. Harry and Sinclair Potter survived, and the Dark Lord's power was broken, and it was a new dawn, sir, and the Potter twins shone like a beacon of hope for those of us who thought the Dark days would never end... And now, at Hogwarts, terrible things are to happen, are perhaps happening already, and Dobby cannot let the Potter twins stay here now that history is to repeat itself, now that the Chamber of Secrets is open once more."

Wow, so Lady Voldepop was a twatwaffle to GNOMES as well? How _not_ surprising.

"Ah, Dobby, so the chamber of secrets really has opened!" Harry says, he scoots forward on the bed. "What do you know about the chamber of secrets Dobby?"

Dobby looks immediately distressed and I begin to worry that he might commit gnome suicide if Harry persists in asking too many questions.

But before Dobby can respond there's the sound of people coming towards the infirmary. I hear the familiar voices of Dumblebumble the useless one man wonder and Professor McGoggles the cat in a pointy hat. Dobby squeals again and says,

"Dobby must be leaving, sir!" A second later he poofs away via gnome magic.

"Quick, hide!" Harry whispers to me.

I scramble around for the invisibility cloak. When I find the cloak I tug it over my body and huddle in a little closer to Harry, who lays down and pretends to be asleep. Even so, when the professors all come streaming, I take a peek over Harry's chest. We both watch as two bodies are lowered onto beds. I know who one of them is for sure, but I can't quite see who the other body is.

I strain my eyes to get a better looks, I can't conceal a gasp when I see a Gryffindor first year with white blond hair.

"Luca?" I gasp quietly.

Luca is petrified? For real. Oh shit!

Harry lets out a gasp of his own and murmurs in confusion,

"Neville?"

What the _frak_ is going on?


	20. The toilet of secrets: Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER. AT ALL. LIKE NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT. I PROMISE. BUT JK ROWLING DOES, SO, YAY FOR HER. ;)

** Sinclair's P.O.V **

"What are they up to?" Ever mutters, peering around me to take a look at our three pet Gryffs on the other side of the potions classroom.

"Something Gryffindor-like and moronic probably." Draco drawls as he cuts up some lizard tails for our potion.

The ADM stalks around barking pissily at anyone who looks like they might be smiling or enjoying themselves too much. He likes his students to be afraid and quiet at all times. I'd say his ideal student would be Neville, but the ADM also seems to despise anyone who can fuck up a potion just by _being near it_.

Of course Neville is still in the infirmary after his 'petrification'. Luca Lovegood is also still in the infirmary having _actually been_ petrified. But, bah, semantics.

For the last month we've been listening in on Dumblebumbles conversations. He's surprisingly uninteresting for such a famous wizard. Even a bit boring actually, and not at all heroic sounding. When I said that to my friends Ever pointed out that they could say the same thing about _me_. Draco argued that I am definitely not boring. Insane, yes, but never boring.

I couldn't decide if that was a compliment or not, so I let it slide. Ever and Draco then got into a bickerfest about my supposed hero status in comparison to my actual personality.

I was offended by the end of it when they decided I was far from the hero type. Draco still insists that I am, for all intents and purposes, the heroine in the tower. I could be a hero if I wanted. I simply _choose_ sanity instead.

"No, but seriously, I think they're planning something." Ever says with a bit more urgency.

Blaise takes a peak at them as well and frowns slightly,

"Ever's right. They do look decidedly whispery today."

Draco makes a very unMalfoy-like scoffing sound,

"They _always_ look whispery and suspicious, it's part of the Gryffindor uniform, to constantly look like you're up to something and don't have the intelligence to hide it."

Ever exchanges an amused glance with Blaise. I ignore all of them in favour of playing hangman with myself on a scrap of parchment. I'm hidden behind the cauldron that Draco is using to do our work for us, so I'm pretty confident the ADM won't notice as long as I look like I'm concentrating very hard on my potions textbook.

"I know that!" Ever exclaims in frustration, "But I swear it actually looks like Harry is about do something and-"

Of course it's then that my insane brother decides to spring up from his seat and throw what looks like a prank firework across the room. The firework stick lands in Gregory's potion and the damn thing explodes all over the place.

I grab Draco and Blaise snatches hold of Ever, both of us taking the other with us as we hit the floor to avoid the splash of potion. I do not want my skin to bloat out like a blubbery frog. I was actually listening when the ADM described the potion we're supposed to be making today.

Our whole potions class turns to chaos as students run around screaming, parts of their body's bloating and growing in size. Knott gets a face full of potion and his cheeks swell up to chipmunk status. He shrieks like a demented harpy and falls off his stool, face planting the ground with a cruel thud. That right there is almost worth having to lie on the floor.

Draco, Blaise, Ever and I are in a big heap under the table, body parts touching all over. It'd be really weird if….no, scratch that, it is weird, but I'm past caring.

Ever suddenly smacks my shoulder. I look at her in surprise, but all she does is give me an intense stare and then gesture over her shoulder. I lift myself up a bit to see what she's gesturing at. My eyes widen when I see Hermione sneaking off into the ADM's private store room.

Ah, so all this firework nonsense was a ruse meant to distract, huh. Ever was right, the Gryffs are up to something, the sneaky little shits.

The ADM completely loses his shit then and starts properly shouting,

"SILENCE! YOU IDIOTS! STOP GALLIVANTING AROUND MY LAB! STOP THAT THIS INSTANT MR FINIGAN! DO NOT TRY AND POP YOUR NOSE! YOU ARE ALL IMBECILES!"

Draco and I can't stop ourselves from snickering like mad when we see Crabbe fall on top of Knott, obviously crushing the smaller boy under the weight of his inflated arse.

Once everyone has had a chance to take some of the antidote and people are going back to their seats, the ADM comes over to where we're hiding and bends down to look at us under the table.

"Are you four quite finished with your cuddle session?" The ADM asks icily.

My mates and I just gape at him.

"Oh, yes, of course, sir." Draco manages to get out eventually, and we all take that as our cue to clamber back up to sit on our stools.

The ADM sneers at us one last time before turning on his heel and sashaying away, his cape billowing out behind him. After a few moment of silence between the four of us, Ever leans in and whispers in awe,

"The ADM said the word _cuddle_!"

"I _know,_ right. _Mega_ weird." Blaise says, shaking his head in disbelief and amusement.

"Kind of disturbing actually," I make a face, "I hope he never says…like….'kissing' or something like that."

Ever suddenly beams and bounces a bit in her seat,

"Oh shit, imagine the ADM giving us a safe sex lecture!"

Draco just about chokes on oxygen,

"No. Just…..just **_no_**."

The ADM is facing the class now, and his expression is thunderous.

"If I ever find out who did this…." The ADM snaps acidly, "I will personally see to it that that student is _expelled_." He sounds like he would rather say 'flogged'. The ADM is looking right at Harry as he says it.

Oh flip, first attempted cat murder and now this, my brother is becoming something of a rebel. Maybe he should get a leather jacket that has the word 'BadBoy' written on the back in sequins. _Pink_ sequins, naturally. Anything else would just look ridiculous.

On our way out of class, Ever and I tell our friends what we saw Hermione doing during the firework-potion chaos.

"They must be making some kind of potion. Probably a complicated one if they need the ingredients from Professor Snape's private store." Draco says thoughtfully, his expression pensive.

"Yeah, but what are they making the potion _for_?" Blaise questions.

"It has to be something to do with Knott." Ever remarks assuredly, "They're going after Knott because they think he's the heir of Slytherin."

"Well that's rubbish," Blaise says, smirking, "We all know that Sinclair is the heir of Slytherin."

I roll my eyes at him and say drolly,

"Oh yes, down with all the mudbloods! I never liked them anyway."

"That's the spirit!" Ever declares happily, skipping slightly down the corridor, her arm linked with Draco's.

"Dever, you do know that you are a mud…." Draco trails off, seemingly unwilling to say the actual word.

Ever peers closer at Draco, her eyes wide with what I know to be fake innocence.

"I'm a mud- _what_ Zaco?"

Blaise and I start laughing when Draco's face drains of any colour it previously held, which wasn't much to begin with.

Draco shoots daggers at us, but he starts sputtering at Ever,

"Um…you are…a...uh… _you know_ ….a…thingy."

"A **thingy**?" Ever narrows her eyes at Draco, "Well I never! Zaco, how could you say such a thing to me? I thought we were friends!" She clutches her hands to her chest dramatically.

"We are friends!" Draco says desperately.

"Real friends don't call their friends 'thingies' Zaco! Everyone knows that!" Ever shakes her head in disgust and looks towards me and Blaise for confirmation.

"Ever is right, mate." I say, nodding seriously, "It's just not on."

"I think you should apologise." Blaise adds, looking very pleased by the turn of conversation.

If what we're doing can even be called a conversation at this point.

Draco's gaze flips between us and Ever, clearly trying gauge whether we're being serious or not. Clearly we aren't, and Ever is just messing with Draco because she's an evil pixie. Draco should really know that by now, it's his own fault for falling for Ever's 'you can trust me because I'm so pretty and sweet and cute' trick.

It's always her secret weapon. Most people for fall for it every time, especially boys. Who are all idiots apparently. Neville practically turns himself inside out every time Ever flashes a smile at him. I'd find the whole thing disturbing if it weren't so hilarious to watch.

"I'm….I'm sorry for calling you a…a thingy." Draco says slowly, looking at Ever apologetically.

Ever pats Draco's chest and nods,

"That's alright, Zaco." She grins at him a bit manically, "Next time just call me a mudblood and we'll be fine." Then she skips off down the corridor humming that song 'Eye of the tiger'.

Madness. Complete and utter madness.

…

"Oh yes, teaching twelve year olds how to do battle, that will end well." I say sarcastically, looking at Draco and making my discomfort with the situation known via pointed stare.

Draco ignores me, or at least he pretends to, and says to Ever,

"Who do you think will be teaching us?"

"I've heard professor Flatwack is a duelling badass, so maybe it's him." Ever replies, looking really excited.

I can't believe they managed to trick me into coming to this duelling club shit show. I'm almost positive that it'll end in disaster. And possibly death if the Slytherins end up duelling the Gryffindors.

No good can come of this.

My suspicions are validated when quite suddenly Gilderboy Lickhat flops up onto the duelling stage. He's wearing a cape with stars on it. And his name embroidered along the hem. To be honest I'm surprised he doesn't just go all the way and have his own face stitched into the fabric.

Well, great, now I'm going to be dreaming about that horrifying thought tonight.

The ADM also swarths up onto the stage looking vaguely disgusted by our existence in his life, just like always. You have to respect a man who hates without discrimination. Harry likes to whine that the ADM hates him in particular, but I just think the ADM dislikes the human race as a whole. Harry can be so self-obsessed sometimes.

Not that I wouldn't understand if the ADM did hate Harry more than other people. I mean, he is very annoying. Plus he's absolute pants at potions, and he's also crap at pretending not to be pants at potions. Like me. Then again, I do have a Draco, so I might be a bit biased.

Lickhat immediately starts blubbering nonsense,

"Gather round, gather round! Can everyone see me? Can you all hear me? Excellent!"

"Now, Professor Dumbledore has granted me permission to start this little dueling club, to train you all in case you ever need to defend yourselves as I myself have done on countless occasions - for full details, see my published works. Let me introduce my assistant, Professor Snape," Lickhat grins and MY EYES! WHY?!

Lickhat continues whilst waving his arms about, looking even more ridiculous than usual, which I didn't think was actually possible, so well done him.

"Professor Snape tells me he knows a tiny little bit about duelling himself and has sportingly agreed to help me with a short demonstration before we begin. Now, I don't want any of you youngsters to worry - you'll still have your Potions master when I'm through with him, never fear!"

"The ADM is so gonna kick Lickhat's arse!" Ever declares, her eyes wide and bright with malice. But it's the cute kind of malice, so no worries.

Sort of like when Bubbles attacks flower petals and hisses at bugs. He is especially hateful towards Bees for some reason.

Draco narrows his eyes at Lickhat and sneers,

"'A little bit about duelling'? Professor Snape is so much more powerful and skilled than this fool, that it's not even funny."

"It is a bit funny," Blaise says, his mouth quirking upwards, "Or at least it will be when Lickhat fails epically at being a wizard, _again_ , and the ADM curses him into the ground."

" _Agreed."_ Ever and I say at the same time.

The ADM is giving Lickhat a look of such disdain that I'm surprised Lickhat is even still alive. I'd expect him to burst into flames, or possibly freeze to death from the ice in the ADM's expression.

Our two professor's turn to face each other.

I catch sight of Harry, Weasley and Hermione all standing together on the other side of the duelling stage. Harry is watching Lickhat with a worried look on his face. I can't blame him, there's a good chance Lickhat will miss the ADM altogether and his spell will hit one of the surrounding students. Most likely me or Harry.

Lickhat bows to the ADM, his hands flopping around dramatically as he does so. The ADM just stares at Likchat, his expression tight. But eventually he does bow slightly. Very slightly. Like a tiny, wheeny, baby, bow.

I nudge Draco in the side. My friend turns to me and I swing an arm around his shoulders, drawing him in closer. Draco's face starts to flush, his cheeks darkening. I frown, it must be hotter in here than I thought. Or maybe he's just that angry on the ADM's behalf. Despite how initially embarrassed Draco was to have the ADM as a Godfather, he is also very loyal and respectful of the ADM most of the time.

I murmur to Draco,

"Do you want to come over to my bed again tonight so we can listen to those recordings from Dumblebumble?"

We've been listening in every other night just in case Dumblebumble says anything important about the chamber of secrets. So far we've got nothing. It doesn't help that our signal is crappy, so the recordings go in and out. Plus, Dumblebumble appears to be a fan of the cryptic responses, so trying to work out what he's actually saying is a riddle within itself.

Draco tilts his head in a nod and says,

"Yes, alright. But no more cake and Coke for you. On Wednesday you stayed awake _all night-"_

I make an affronted sound and squeeze Draco tightly against my side,

" _You_ were the one who did that snack spell. I blame you entirely for the Coke-induced high I experienced that night."

"I didn't know Coke could do that! I didn't even know what Coke was!" Draco proclaims haughtily.

"I still can't believe you've never drunk Coke before. Or Sprite. Or Pepsi." I say, shaking my head at him in bemusement.

"It is completely undignified to drink such an improper muggle beverage." Draco asserts unapologetically. He sticks his little nose up in the air.

"Ah yes, the peasant swill, how dare I even suggest a _Malfoy_ should drink anything _fizzy_." I say mockingly, "Quite right. Scorp liked it though."

Scorpius has been looking really down lately, so I gave him some bubbly goodness to make him smile again. He let me hold his pet hedgehog, Penny. The creature ended up on my head somehow. I think because Bubbles kept trying to give the hedgehog a cuddle. Or eat him. Either way I don't think it would have ended well for Bubbles.

Draco's expression becomes scathing and he huffs at me,

"My brother is a Gryffindor. Clearly, his taste cannot be trusted. You know my parents are going to blame me if Scorpius starts acting like a...a…a _muggle_."

I struggle not to roll my eyes at him and instead ruffle his fringe. Draco's hair is soft, it's always soft. And pretty. And blond. Ever managed to convince him to stop slicking it back this year, so instead Draco has taken to styling it in a more relaxed, artfully messy way.

I curl a strand of Draco's hair around my finger and pull on it a little. My friend looks like he wants to smite me, but he doesn't move away.

"Your parents are going to be pissed off no matter what, Drake. You gotta stop taking it personally."

"How can I not take it personally if my parents think I'm failing as a Malfoy?" Draco says snappishly.

I tug on his hair a bit harder and shake my head,

"Rubbish! Who says that being a Malfoy means you have to be an arrogant, muggle-hating arsehead? I like you. Ever likes you. Even Blaise likes you when he's not being a snarky bastard. The ADM sings your praises in potions. Scorpius looks up to you. You get top marks all the time and you're a brilliant Chaser for Slytherin. You're really great with hard spells, and you saved my brother's life even though you don't like him. If your parents can't see how amazing you are, then that's **_their_** loss. Ok?"

Draco stares up at me, looking a bit unsure of what to say, which is definitely a first. Thank fully he's saved from having to respond when my attention is dragged back to the duelling stage by Lickhat saying,

"As you see, we are holding our wands in the accepted combative position," Lickhat and the ADM have their wands aimed at each other.

Ohhh, Lickhat is done for. There's no way the ADM isn't going to take this chance to wipe the floor with Lickhat's stupid smug face.

"On the count of three, we will cast our first spells. Neither of us will be aiming to kill, of course." Lickhat exclaims with flourish. The ADM sniffs. It's a sniff of impending doom.

Ever starts singing that song 'Eye of the tiger' under her breathe and I have to keep my lips tight together so I won't laugh.

"One - two - three-"

The ADM bares his teeth and shouts,

" _Expelliarmus_!"

A burst of almost blinding light comes out of the ADM's wand and seems to hit Lickhat square in the chest, because he goes flying backwards, hits the wall hard, and then lands with a harsh thud on his arse. His wands goes flying off somewhere to the side.

Epic times one billion!

Ever leads all the Slytherins in a very loud bout of applause.

"Is he alright?" I hear a Hufflpuff girl ask.

I cross my fingers and mutter,

"Please say no, please say no, please say no."

Unfortunately only moments later, Lickhat gets unsteadily to his feet. His hair is all mussed and fucked up, there's even a tear in his cape. Even more unfortunately one of the Gryffindor's gives him his wand back.

Of course then Lickhat starts flubbering on again about rubbish,

"Well, there you have it! That was a Disarming Charm - as you could see, I lost my wand, yes, an excellent idea to show them that, Professor Snape, but if you don't mind my saying so, it was very obvious what you were about to do. If I had wanted to stop you it would have been only too easy - however, I felt it would be instructive to let them see..."

The look in the ADM's eyes clearly states that he's just about ready to lay a slap down on a bitch. His nostrils are flaring like a hippo. Apparently Lickhat has some level of self-preservation and quickly moves on.

"Enough demonstrating! I think we should have one representative pair duel as an example to the rest of you." Lickhat turns a beaming smile on Harry and Ron, "How about Potter and Weasley-"

The ADM interrupts with a sadistic smirk,

"Perhaps you should pick one of your students, Professor Lockhart, and then I will choose one of mine."

Lickhat practically cracks his face in half with all the fucking smiling.

"A novel idea, Professor Snape!" Lickhat points his wands at Harry, who dives out of the way just in case Lickhat's wand decides to fire off a stray spell by accident. "Harry Potter! Up you come!"

Harry pulls a face and looks over at me, I give him two thumbs up and mouth ' _I'll always remember you'_. Harry glares at me, but he reluctantly gets up onto the duelling stage.

The ADM's smirk becomes transcendent as his gaze whips over to our lot and he jerks his chin at Ever.

"Granger, get up here."

Oh. Shit.

A deeply frightening smirk spreads over Ever's face and she hops up onto the stage with enviable grace. Harry's eyes widen for a split second, and then they harden with some sort of resolve. Ever seems to find that amusing, and her smirk develops into something wicked.

Blaise places a hand on my shoulder consolingly and says,

"Your brother is going to die."

Draco nods in agreement and his voice is gleeful when he says,

"Dever will end him."

I let my gaze flicker back and forth between Harry and Ever. My brother and my best friend.

Yep, Harry's gonna die.

** Ever's P.O.V **

I lift my hand and give Harry an overly enthusiastic wave.

Harry glowers at me.

I don't know what he has to be so upset and grumpy about, he's the one who's been ignoring me ever since he got out of the hospital wing.

I look over at the ADM and he gives me an almost unintelligible nod. My smile widens and I bounce on my toes for a few seconds before readying my stance and pointing my wand at Harry mc grumpus.

Harry raises his wand as well, looking very serious. It's kinda cute actually. If he hasn't been acting like such a twat lately then I might have even let him win. But thankfully he's angered me, so I feel quite validated in crushing him.

"Bow to your partners!" Gilderboy calls out, still appearing mentally deranged. Honestly, what in the world made Dumblebumble hire this looney tune? I can only imagine blackmail was involved. Or maybe Gilderboy offered to stop talking and smiling in Dumblebumbles presence if he was given the job.

Harry bows stiffly at me, and I bow back with sarcastic eagerness. Harry's glower deepens, and my smile widens. Such is the balance of life.

"Wands at the ready!" Gilderboy shouts delightedly. Weirdo.

I arch an eyebrow at Harry and start singing 'Kung fu fighting' as I ready my wand.

" _Everybody is Kung fu fighting. Your mind becomes fast as lightning._ _You're a diamond in the rough._ _A brilliant ball of flame. You can be a work of art. If you just go all the way. Now what would it take to break? I believe that you can bend. Not only do you have to fight. But you have got to win. Everybody is Kung fu fighting!"_

I dance a little on the spot, but my focus is still completely on Harry and his wand.

Harry is staring at me incredulously. He actually lowers his wand and points at me. Harry's gaze darts between the ADM and Gilderboy. He growls at them,

"Sir, she's _singing_."

Everyone is giving Harry a look now like ' _so_?' I think by this point people are so used to me being…well **_me_** , that they don't even question it anymore. It took a lot of insanity to get me to this point, and I couldn't be more proud of myself for having beaten everybody into submission.

"Stop being ridiculous Mr Potter," the ADM snaps at Harry, "Get on with the duel."

Harry looks like he might literally explode with fury. It's the most amusing thing I've seen all week. And that includes yesterday morning when Sinclair set up a trap for Voldebert and ended up trapping Draco instead.

Blaise and I almost died laughing as Draco swore and shrieked from underneath the net at Sinclair whilst Voldebert screeched and flew dementedly around the room. After a while it was difficult to tell which noises were coming from Draco and which ones were coming from Voldebert. They both sounded equally outraged.

I wink at Harry and a muscle in his jaw jumps. Ha, he's really pissed off.

Harry raises his wand again. I keep mine steady and trained on him.

It's on.

Gilberboy calls out to us,

"When I count to three, cast your charms to disarm your opponents - only to disarm them - we don't want any accidents - one ... two ... three-"

I give my wand a short flick and shout,

" _Novaspelus_!"

Sparks of blue shoot out of my wand and Harry flips backwards off his feet. He hits the ground hard.

Harry gets to his feet with surprising speed and aims his wand right at me, a slight snarl to his voice when he yells,

" _Rictusempra!"_

A jet of red light hits me in the stomach and groan with pain, doubling over slightly to hold my midsection.

"I said disarm only!" Gilderboy shrieks, but both Harry and I ignore him.

I let out harsh laugh and whip my wand out towards Harry, shouting,

" _Archnadz_!"

Harry doubles over as the pink jet of light punches him in the chest.

"Get him Dever!" Draco calls out to me, and the whole of second year Slytherin erupts into encouraging applause and supporting cries.

Never to be out done by Slytherin in any capacity, especially obnoxious loudness, the whole of second year Gryffindor suddenly begin yelling their support of Harry.

Harry and I wield our wands at each other and shout at the same time,

" _Serraxus!_ "

A stream of gold light bursts out of Harry's wand, and a stream of silver light bursts out of mine. They collide like two bolts of lightning. I'm almost thrown off my feet from the power of it.

The point where mine and Harry's magic meet sparks and explodes, sending cascades of power up and down the stream. Harry's eyes catch hold of mine and our gazes lock. Then our mixed magic expands, turning into a bubble of silver and gold magic.

Bloody biscuit tin! I didn't know magic could do that.

"That's **_enough_**!" The ADM yells at us.

I can barely hear him over the sound of my magic glimmering and igniting all around me. I feel blissed out, and I see that Harry's emerald eyes are wide and glowing. I remember Sinclair's doing the same thing before.

From somewhere to my left, a person shouts,

" _Serpensortia!"_

Suddenly a black snake comes flying onto the duelling stage. It distracts me enough that my magic falters and the stream of magic cracks under the pressure. Harry also looks away from me, his attention diverted by the flying snake.

Our stream of magic dissipates and we both lower our wands.

The black snake starts wriggling around on the stage and hissing at a Hufflepuff boy. Fair enough, most Hufflepuff's deserve to be hissed at I'd say.

I avoid looking at Harry even though I can feel that he's staring at me again. Instead I turn to my friends.

Draco still has his wand outstretched, having clearly just created the Hufflepuff hating snake. He looks rather pleased with himself. Blaise is looking at me with an amused glint in his eyes. Blaise always looks faintly amused by everything though. Sinclair appears to be smirking in amazement.

When he catches me looking at him, Sinclair jerks his chin over at Harry, who is now talking to the magic snake in Parstletongue. Not the best idea on his part. The whole school already thinks he's evil after the whole attempted cat-murder incident. Now it seems like he's setting a snake on the Hufflepuff house. Again, it would be understandable if he did, no one could fault him for it, Hufflepuff's are insufferable people.

But still.

I'm usually against magical snake murder-as a general rule.

Sinclair mouths at me 'do or die, Slytherin girl' and he winks.

A small smirk spreads over my face and I almost laugh out loud. I understand what Sin is trying to tell me, and I intend to act on it.

The ADM comes storming over to the magic snake and waves his wand at it, causing the black snake to turn to ash.

Harry is distracted by that Hufflepuff whatsit yelling at him,

"What do you think you're playing at?"

I take my chance by raising my wand and aiming it at a still confused looking Harry. I call out,

" _Expelliarmus_!"

Harry is suddenly thrown backwards and his wand goes flying out of his hand.

Game. Set. Matched.

…..

"I think he's mad at me." I say to my friends when we sit down on our table for dinner.

Harry is glowering at me from over on the Gryffindor table. I wiggle my fingers at him in a subtle wave. His glower turns into a full on glare.

"Well you did kind of dominate his arse at the duel thingy." Sin points out distractedly as he reads a book. It's one of my sister's. She must have left it in the library because Sinclair found it a few days ago and he's been pretty obsessed with it ever since.

It's been over two weeks since the duelling fiasco where according to Harry I 'so completely cheated'. I disagree. So does the entirety of Slytherin house. They may not be my biggest fans, what with me being a mudbloof and all, but they definitely like the idea of a Slytherin beating Harry Potter.

Everyone also now thinks Harry is evil because he spoke to the magic snake all free and easy-like. Sinclair finds the whole thing hilarious because now the whole school is going around saying that Sinclair is actually the hero twin and that Harry is his evil counterpart.

All the Hufflepuffs keep running away from him whenever Harry gets anywhere near them, it's hysterical.

Harry does not find it very amusing at all. In fact he's being a bit of a prat about the whole thing.

"What's that book even about?" Blaise asks Sin, peering a bit closer to get a look at the cover.

Sin actually looks up from the book, his brows furrowed thoughtfully. He makes humming sound and then says,

"It's about an orphan boy named Harvey Popper who finds out he's a Sorcerer when he's eleven and gets sent off to magical boarding school. His parents were killed by the evil Dark Sorcerer 'Megawhamp'. Harvey goes on loads of zany adventures with his two best friends, Robbie Wellsway and Hermia Grafter, whilst the Megawhamp keeps trying to kill him."

"Sounds fucking stupid." Draco says in his most haughty voice.

"I agree," I say, frowning at the book now as well. Hermione let me read it when she was done last year. "I mean what kind of idiot twelve year olds go off by themselves down into a hidden chamber to fight a giant magical lizard beast."

"Is that what happens?" Blaise asks, pointing a finger at the book.

Sin nods and explains,

"Yeah, but this is just the second book in a series of seven." Sin slides his thumb across the title, "Harvey Popper and the hidden lizard dungeon."

"There are eight films too that are based off the books," I add obligingly.

"So the Sorcerers in the books and films do magic?" Blaise questions, looking alarmingly interested.

"Yep," Sin puts the book down on the table and slides it over to Blaise so he can have a closer look. "They fly on magic carpets and use big wooden staffs to wield their magic."

"Muggles write absolute rubbish about magic." Draco huffs, giving the book in Blaise's hands a searing look.

Sin smirks at Draco and nudges his side,

"Judgy." He teases.

Draco does not appear amused. He nudges Sinclair back twice as hard, causing Sin to almost fall off the bench. Sin makes an exaggerated sound of pain and looks at Draco with mock hurt on his face. He gets up and goes to sit down next to Blaise.

"That's it!" Sin says dramatically, "I'm divorcing you." He waves a hand at Draco.

Draco stares at Sin in disbelief and then practically squawks,

" _Divorcing_ me? I'm not your _wife_! You can't _divorce_ me!"

Sin huffs prettily and shuffles up close to Blaise and rests his head on Blaise's shoulder. Blaise's mouth twitches upwards when Draco narrows his eyes on where Sin is touching Blaise. I resist the urge to roll my eyes.

Draco and Sinclair are so cute when they have their special little tiffs. And kind of exasperating. I'm glad I have Blaise to hang around with when Draco and Sinclair are being _too_ ridiculous.

"I'm divorcing you as a mate." Sin says to Draco dismissively, and he turns his face into Blaise shoulder.

"That doesn't even make sense!" Draco shouts, throwing his hands up. His silver eyes flash with frustration.

"Your _face_ doesn't make sense!" Sin shouts back, his words muffled against Blaise's shoulder.

"Why must you always be so ludicrous about everything?" Draco demands, getting steadily more and more pissed off.

The problem with all of Draco and Sinclair's fights is that Draco always takes them seriously, whereas Sin is just doing it for fun. I've watched Sinclair string Draco along for hours, arguing with him about things he couldn't actually give a toss about.

I don't know why Sin gets such pleasure out of watching Draco fly off the handle, but I swear in another universe the two of them would be childhood rivals. That is if Sin didn't love Draco so much.

I have no idea why I'm so fond of the sod, but I can't imagine not being best friends with Draco. He can be so selfish and bratty sometimes, but then at other times he can be surprisingly kind and loyal. To his friends that is of course. Malfoy's are never kind to strangers.

"I'm not being ludicrous, I just want a divorce. You call your lawyer and I'll get mine." Sinclair says to Draco, finally peering out at him, "We should decide who gets full custody of the children."

"What are you talking about? What children?" Draco looks like he wants to attack Sinclair from the other side of the table.

Sin's eyes flicker between me and Blaise,

"Ever and Blaise of course. And possibly Neville. Obviously I get the Gryffindor's as well. I'll draw up a settlement. I should really get Ever since I met her first."

"Oh, I hate you sometimes!" Draco declares, pointing angrily at Sinclair.

I shake my head and turn away, blocking out my friends insanity. It's then that I notice Harry getting up from the dinner table and leaving the dining hall. Alone. For once.

I've been waiting for a chance to talk to him properly ever since the duelling club thing. I couldn't talk to him whilst he was around his Gryffindor friends because he always acts like a complete prat when we're with other people.

I get up from the bench and say in my friends direction,

"I'm off to the toilet."

My three boy mates make noises of ascension, but I know their attention is still focused on the argument they're having.

I quickly make my way out of the hall so I can catch up with Harry before he gets to the Gryffindor common room. He must hear me coming because he speeds up a bit and shoots a glare over his shoulder.

I roll my eyes and start running. Harry's eyes widen in alarm and he tries to dodge me. I jump on him when I get close enough and we both go down. We scrabble around on the floor for a while like angry kittens, but eventually Harry stops fighting me.

"What in hells name are you doing?" Harry asks angrily.

"I'm trying to talk to you," I say, reaching over to some of his stupid messy hair back. It's stupid and messy and I kind of want to touch it whenever I see him. Apart from the times where I want to kick his arse for being a prat.

Harry gets to his feet irately, but he still reaches out a hand to offer me help. I take his hand in way of a peace offering and allow myself to be pulled to onto my feet. I nudge Harry's shoulder and smile at him, Harry scoffs, but he's clearly hiding a smile as well.

We walk through the corridors together, not speaking at first. It's a strangely silent night inside the castle.

"You're not really still upset with me about the duel, are you?" I ask finally, looking over at Harry hopefully.

Harry pauses before answering with a slight pissy huff,

"No."

"Then why are you still acting like you are?" I nudge him again.

Harry's face takes on that world weary expression, the one he only gets when he's thinking about something really serious or important. I always think he looks so much older when he gets like that. There are moments when I think Harry is just a normal twelve year old boy-annoying, selfish and rude-but there are other moments...moments when I can see what kind of man he might be one day-brave, loyal and selfless.

That is one of the reasons why I find myself constantly drawn back to him, even when he behaves like a complete and utter twat.

"I just...I hate that everyone thinks I'm this evil Dark wizard." Harry's says, true frustration and anger in his voice. He looks at me, and those green eyes of his spark with emotion, "I'm used to feeling like I'm unwanted...like I'm tainted, wrong on some level. The Dursley's have made sure of that. But I had hoped that being here, as a wizard, meant that I would never be forced to feel that way again."

My heart clenches, because I know exactly what he means. I know what it feels like to want a new life, a fresh start away from the pain of a broken family that can never truly accept who you are.

I reach out to touch Harry's hand, and our eyes catch, locking together once more.

"I understand Harry, but you can't let anyone make think you are anything less than what you are."

Harry's expression softens for a moment, and he opens his mouth to reply. Unfortunately he never gets the chance, because when we turn the corner we are greeted with the sight of a petrified Hufflepuff boy and a very oddly petrified nearly headless Nick.

I exchange a glance with Harry and exclaim,

"Fuck a duck, I think the bastard is trying to frame you."

Harry gives a heavy sigh, he looks at me solemnly with resignation in his eyes,

"Bloody tell me about it."


	21. The toilet of secrets: Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER. AT ALL. LIKE NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT. I PROMISE. BUT JK ROWLING DOES, SO, YAY FOR HER. ;)

** Ever's P.O.V **

" _You_." I hiss, pointing a finger at the offending creature set before me.

" _Everlyna Granger_ ….we meet again. I've been expecting you." The most evil creature to have ever of been brought into creation simpers at me. SIMPERS!

I'm gonna set it on fire. FIRE I SAY!

"Your existence is abhorrent to me." I tell it very seriously.

"What have you done to deserve a trip to the headmasters office little girl? Avada Kedava a Hufflepuff did you?" The creature fires back haughtily.

I clench my hands into fists and square off against the monstrosity,

"You'd like that wouldn't you? Me getting banged up in Azkabutt for killing a….hold on…what the frak is a Hufflpuff?"

No…but seriously, _what_? Hufflpuff. There's no way that's a word. Sounds like some weird sushi dish.

Harry sighs over-dramatically with true flair and says,

"I'm pretty sure you and Sinclair call them 'Badger buttercups'."

"Ohhhhh, _those_ things. _Riiiiight."_ I say, finally understanding.

Hufflwuffle. Otherwise known as the most useless thing to of ever have been made a thing. I blame the colour yellow. No one can take anyone who goes around wearing yellow seriously. It's one of those invisible life rules.

If you're gonna go flommping all over the place dressed like a bee, then you deserve what you get. That's all I'm saying.

I point at the creature of evil evilness again and declare,

"I hate you and everything you stand for."

The creature narrows it's non-eyes at me,

"What exactly do I stand for?" It asks.

I take a menacing step toward it and growl,

"Everything I hate."

"Ever, stop insulting the sorting hat!" Harry demands annoyingly. "I have an actual question to ask it."

After we found another petrified student and nearly headless nick looking all extra dead and shit, Harry and I were dragged off towards Dumblebumbles office. Dumblebumbles office is big and shiny and I don't like it at all. Whoever designed this place must have been on an acid trip when they were drawing up the plans.

Maybe it was Dumblebumble, he seems like the sort who would be into that kind of thing. I bet wizards make really strange drugs.

I hold my hands up defensively and then gesture towards Harry,

"Alright, don't get your Thomas the tank engine knickers in a twist. Go ahead and ask your question." I hold up a finger and poke Harry's cheek with it, "But be warned," I glare at the blasted hat, "it's speaks nothing but lies."

Harry rolls his eyes at me, _that bitch_ , and moves a little closer to the hat of doom.

"I was wondering if…" Harry trails off.

"You wanted to know if I put you in the right house," the hat of LIES says. Harry straightens and nods, looking all earnest and weird. The hat continues, "I stand by what I said, you would have done well in Slytherin."

I jerk my gaze over to Harry's face. He looks crestfallen. It tugs at something in my chest. I tell whatever it is to go the fuck away, but it won't stop bugging me, so I give in to the need to be somewhat pleasant to Harry.

But only because he looks so pathetic right now.

I touch Harry's arm, my fingers gripping onto his bicep. Harry's muscles twitch under my hand. I look up and my eyes lock with his. He has such vivid green eyes. I haven't seen anything quite like them before. Apart from Sin's eyes of course, but that's different somehow.

Harry covers my hand with his. His hand is rough and warm against mine. He looks pained, anguished even. I didn't quite realise how much all this ridiculous hate towards him had been weighing him down. I hope Harry knows they're all morons for thinking he's evil. There's nothing even remotely evil about Harry James Potter.

Which is probably why we don't get on most of the time. Maybe if he was evil we'd be best friends.

"Being in Slytherin doesn't make you a bad person, Harry, you have to know that. You're the only one who can really decide if you're evil or not, the rest is just bullshit from other people." I say gently. Harry smiles at me a little and squeezes my hand.

"I wouldn't give yourself as an example of that statement, little girl." The fucking hat ruins the moment and I have the brief urge to strangle it.

Pah, 'brief'. I just lied to myself.

Can you strangle a magical hat? I'm not sure, but I'd be willing to give it a go.

"I'm not little!" I snarl, "I am a powerhouse of epic."

"More like a cardboard box of mediocrity." The hat replies.

That's it! The hat is going down to china town!

"Harry, get me a box!" I order a bewildered and slightly amused looking Potter.

"What for?" Harry asks, one dark eyebrow quirked upward.

I glare menacingly at the bastard hat and say,

"I'm posting the hat to china."

"No!" The hat rumbles, "You can't! Do you know what they do to lonely orphan hats over there?"

Harry scowls and asks,

"What do they do? Who are 'they'? How can any hat be an orphan hat? Who are the non-orphan hats that you know of?"

I smirk at him,

"Pfffttt, forget Slytherin, clearly you should have been put in Ravenclaw Mr I-AIQAEH."

Harry turns to me with a disgruntled look on his face. Nothing new there then. He crosses his arms and shifts to stand in his 'no nonsense' pose.

"That thing that just came out of your face and into reality, is not a real thing. That exists. On this planet. Or any planet. At all."

"I-AIQAEH is so a thing." I argue stubbornly.

Harry smooshes his face up all angry and cute and it makes me want to hit him. I do not have time for all these feels going on so close to me.

"Oh _really_?"

He dares to doubt me!

" _Yes_ , it's a Unicorn word."

"I'm serious people, do NOT send me to a foreign country alone." Hat Mc pointy head, (shut up, my nicknaming skills are AMAZING. Don't front, you know you want one), says. Or maybe whimpers.

Harry ignores the appetency of all evil and instead says to me incredulously,

"A _Unicorn word_! What does it even _mean_ then?"

I glare at him and say,

"It means, I Ask Inane Questions About Evil Hats. So _there_." Bitch. Now stand back and drop the mike.

"What if they try to sow me up because they think I'm just ripped?" Wimpy Hatty is mumbling to itself worryingly. "I'll be trapped far from home and unable to call for help!"

Oh dear _God_.

"You just made that up!" Harry shouts, narrowing his eyes at me accusingly.

I poke him again, harder this time,

"I'm a Unicorn. I-AIQAEH is a Unicorn word. Of _course_ I made it up! How else do you think words come into existence? Someone had to make them up."

Harry starts sputtering at me all ragey and stuff. It makes his eyes become even more intensely green. I should really anger him more often.

"Even if I do talk they might burn me at the stake for being a witch!" Voldehat (that's my new favourite) is still muttering to itself like a crazy person (hat).

"For real, who is this 'they' you keep referring to?" I ask.

"The MUGGLES!" Voldehat screeches.

This is so out of whack.

"You think the puggle-wuggles will burn you at the stake for being a witch?" I screw up my nose disbelievingly.

"Yes!" Hat-rod snaps.

"But you're not a witch." Harry says, apparently willing to set aside his pissed-of-ness for now, "You're a hat."

"Yeah, well, they burnt a lot of muggles thinking they were witches too." Hat-hop says snippily.

"Hat-Vader has a point." I say.

"That was ages ago though." Harry waves a hand dismissively. "They don't kill people for being witches anymore."

"I love this 'they' code thing we have going on." I say, hopping up and down on my toes excitedly.

"I feel like we've gone off topic a bit here," Harry mutters thoughtfully.

"Meh, who cares?" I say, "Do you think Dumblebumble keeps biscuits in here. I'm hungry. For biscuits."

"I thought you knew a biscuit spell." Harry says, frowning at me.

"Nah, that was a cake spell." I say.

"You two will make a great Wizard and Witch one day." Hat-a-tat says.

Harry and I exchange a look and I say suspiciously,

"That sounds like a _lie_."

Hatty puffs out a breathe, which is so completely odd. I had no idea hats, even magic ones, could do that.

"It is." Hatty sniffs, "I was trying to be nice so you wouldn't ship me off to Siberia-"

"-China actually-"

"-Same diff." Hatty says. I can tell that if the hat had shoulders, he would so be shrugging them right now. Like full on in your face shrugging.

"I'm no Geography expert, but I'm pretty sure Siberia and China are completely different." I say.

Before Voldehat can respond, both Harry and I are startled by a loud choking sound. We turn around, looking for the source of the horrid noise. I'm surprised when I see a big ugly bird sitting on a golden perch. The bird looks half dead, and I genuinely worry that it might keel over at any moment.

"Bird." Harry says, gaping.

"No, it's quite clearly a _hippo_ ," I say sarcastically.

Harry glares at me.

"Why would Dumbledore have a pet hippo?" Harry grumbles.

I roll my eyes,

"Who _wouldn't_ want to have a pet hippo?"

"Sane people." Harry mutters.

Quite suddenly the ugly not-hippo bursts into flames. Harry leaps to the side with a yell. I take out my wand and aim it at the fire ball.

" _Aquamarixe_!" I throw the water spell at the fire ball.

My water spell goes a bit haywire and it ends up turning into a powerful blast of water that soaks, not just the bird, but most of the office. Including Harry.

I lower my wand tentatively and put it away inside my cloak. Oopps.

I can feel Harry's gaze burning into the side of my head. It feels like a pissy gaze. God, it's just water, not acid. I take a peek at him. He looks like a drowned kitten. Wicked.

The crazy bird bomb has turned to ash.

Sin would be pleased about this. Or maybe not if he found out birds can apparently blow themselves up now. He'd probably think it was some kind of bird conspiracy. I might even be inclined to agree with him this time.

Dumbledumble reveals himself then, and he comes swarthing into the room all beardy and old and useless to me.

Harry immediately goes on the defensive,

"Professor Dumbledore! Sir, I swear I didn't do anything. Your bird…it just…um…"

" _Boom_!" I splay my fingers out in an exploding hand gesture.

Harry gives me a look,

"Yeah. That."

"About time, too," Dumblebumble says gravely. "He's been looking dreadful for days; I've been telling him to get a move on."

That's not a very nice thing to say to an exploding bomb bird.

Harry looks confused. And wet.

Dumblebumble chuckles. It disturbs me. Our headmaster hastens to explain,

"Fawkes is a phoenix. Phoenixes burst into flame when it is time for them to die and are reborn from the ashes. Watch him..."

Harry and I look over at the pile of ash just as it begins to move. Moments later a tiny ugly bird appears, struggling to rise out of the ashes.

"It's a shame you had to see him on a Burning Day," Dumblebumble says, he sits down behind his fancy, and wet, desk. "He's really very handsome most of the time, wonderful red and gold plumage. Fascinating creatures, phoenixes. They can carry immensely heavy loads, their tears have healing powers, and they make highly faithful pets."

Sin is not gonna be happy when he finds out some birds are immortal. It will only further convince him of their evilness. Harry looks at me, and I can see in his eyes that he's thinking something similar.

"So, which one of you did a water spell in here?" Dumblebumble asks, eyeing the two of us curiously. He even looks a little amused.

I instantly point at Harry.

"I tried to contain him, sir, but Potter is out of control. First he tried to commit kitty murder, almost leaving a man without his cat-wife, then he poisoned Neville and attacked Luca Lovegood, after that he had a plotting session with a snake during a duel whilst I was _trying_ to destroy him. Very rude, if you ask me. Just an hour ago he went off and attacked that Badger boy Jackanory, or whatever his name is, and now he's threatened to send the sorting hat to Sibera-China and convinced your bird to explode. I had no choice but to use my water spell in self-defense, sir."

Harry is openly staring at me. I reach over and pat Harry's shoulder. I give Dumblebumble a grave head tilt and add,

"Don't be too hard on him, sir, he's just a _boy_ after all."

Harry's eyes narrow and he says to me,

"I _hate_ you."

I can't quite keep the smirk off my face. The sorting hat is dying of laughter somewhere behind me. Dumblebumble doesn't look at all perturbed. In fact he seems even more amused than before.

The silence goes on for a while, but then I get bored and I ask Dumblebumble,

"Sir?"

"Yes, miss Granger?"

"Do you have a yodelling scarf in here?"

Harry face palms and mutters something like 'never make friends with unicorns'.

The sorting hat shouts,

"Don't you dare tell her anything about that blasted scarf! _I_ won the duel! _I_ get to sort the children for the next one hundred years! That singing contest was _not_ rigged, I don't care what the bloody scarf thinks."

Dumblebumble just leans forward on his desk. His eyes flit between me and Harry. He looks pleased about something, but I have no idea what.

** Sinclair's P.O.V **

"Hey, do you think Crabbe and Goyle are acting weird?" Blaise asks, sounding suspicious.

"Why? Did they finally tie their own shoe laces or something? Because that really would be weird, you know they're more the Velcro type of people." I say, only half concentrating. The other half of my attention is on my charms homework.

Blaise sits down next to me and pokes my arm. I sigh and look over at him. Blaise is watching Knotts' henchman Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumb. Although to be honest it's more like Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dumber.

"There's just something… _off_ about them." Blaise says, his eyes narrowing.

"It's Christmas B, they've probably just eaten too many sugar cookies." Ever says from her place on the sofa. She's led down with her Ipod plugged in and a mountain of books piled up all around her. A few of them are Christmas presents, but most are just from the library. Ever went and snuck into the restricted section and took loads of books that look too dangerous to touch.

All in all, this year is probably my favourite Christmas so far. It was fun last year, then again anything would seem fun compared to my Christmases with the hippo family of hate. But when I went to Malfoy Manor for Christmas I was constantly aware that Draco's father was watching my every move. It made me feel uncomfortable, even though I kept telling myself not to be stupid.

Blaise and Ever have both stayed at school for Christmas again this year. Blaise's mother is apparently off in Paris with their relatives and Ever's mother is….in Ever's words 'continuing her descent into alcoholism and unpaid prostitution'. Myself, Draco and Blaise all exchanged a look after that one and decided to leave the subject of family well enough alone.

Unfortunately Draco was forced into going home with Scorpius for the Christmas holidays. If nothing else I'm hoping a bit of Christmas fun will cheer up Scorpius, who looks more and more depressed every time I see him. It's clear that Ginny is trying to snap him out of it, but nothing any of us do seems to work for long.

Then again, one of his best friends has been petrified by some meany bo beany monster, so I suppose he has a right to mope if he wants to.

Harry's also being a grumpy git lately. He really hates that everyone thinks he's evil. I personally find the whole thing hilarious. Fred and George obviously think the same because I've seen them parading through the hallways with Harry shouting 'move out of the way, really evil wizard coming through'.

My friends are very bemused that I've so far managed to stay out of Harry's evil spotlight. Everyone still thinks I'm the good twin. I honestly never saw that one coming. If anything I'd think it would be the other way around. But no, the masses have spoken. I am made of purity and light and shit rainbows, whereas Harry is the devil spawn of Satan.

Harry does not find it at all funny. But that's because he's dull and…. _Harry_. Which basically means the same thing.

Draco had only been gone half a day before he wrote to me complaining about being bored without me and our friends. I wrote him back asking him who he was and what did he think he was doing writing to me, a complete stranger. Draco wrote back demanding that I hand over the quill to Ever so that she could write to him instead if I was going to behave ridiculously.

Ever wrote back to him saying that the supreme overlord Ever the Unicorn doesn't accept post from peasants.

Draco wrote to Blaise next and Blaise wrote back telling Draco that the three of us died over thirty years ago and that he was Blaise Zabini's great grandson.

Draco sent over a rather aggressive howler that called us, and I quote, ' _blithering nin-com-poops of the highest order'_.

We sent him a photograph of a baby panda eating a branch of leaves and on the picture are the words ' _I will destroy you with my cute'_.

Draco replied with a letter that simply read in big block lettering ' _YOU ARE CRAP FRIENDS'_.

We sent a picture of mouse desperately clinging onto another mouse as the other tries to leave. Under the picture are the words ' _We have to stay friends; you know too much about me to let you live otherwise'_.

Draco sent the message ' _I genuinely don't know if that was an apology or a threat'_.

We reply with a note that reads ' _Threat. It's always a threat. Only bitches send apologies_.'. That one was mostly Ever's doing obviously.

Goyle and Crabbe suddenly come shuffling quickly past us, leaving a rather confused looking Knott staring after them. I watch as the two boys leave the common room and I almost choke on my own tongue when I recognise a flash of very familiar green eyes when they go by.

Blaise notices my look of dismay and says,

"What? Did you see something?"

I nod dumbly at him,

"Um….sort of, yeah."

"What's happening?" Ever asks, leaning over the side of the sofa to loom over me and Blaise.

"Something's definitely going on with Crabbe and Goyle." Blaise says smugly.

I roll my eyes,

"Oh, alright, fine, maybe there is."

Ever clambers off the sofa and says,

"Right then, we better go after them and find out what's shaken up the dum-dum duo."

I groan and let my head fall back against the sofa,

"Do we have to though? Because I really don't care."

"Don't be a big baby, Sin, just because you're missing Zaco-" Ever starts, but I cut her off.

"I do not miss Draco." I say stubbornly. I do _not_ miss Draco. He's only been gone a few days. I _don't_. That would be stupid.

Blaise exchanges a smirky look with Ever.

It's so annoying when they do that.

But when Ever and Blaise leave to follow the infamous Tweedles, I sigh heavily and trail along behind them.

We use our natural born stealth to track Golye and Crabbe through Hogwarts. When they end up ducking into the girls bathroom I get a bad feeling. Either they're up to something, or moaning Myrtle is about to seriously lay the slap down on some bitches for daring to enter her bathroom.

Blaise and I let Ever go first. One, because out of three of us she's the scariest, and two, because it is a girls bathroom after all.

What we find inside moaning Myrtle's bathroom is something I will never forget for as long as I am alive on this planet.

I watch in horror as Goyle and Crabbe morph into my brother and Ron. It's a truly terrifying experience for everyone involved. When Ron and Harry see us they both scream. Blaise and I both scream right back at them.

Ever does not scream. In fact she rolls her eyes at all of us.

"Calm down you bunch of Hufflepuffs."

Moaning Myrtle appears then, giggling happily. I think that might be even more frightening than the other thing.

"Ohhh, wait until you see," Myrtle titters, "It's awful."

Just when I thought things couldn't get any weirder, a giant cat comes striding angrily out of a toilet stall.

"Shut up Myrtle." The giant cat snaps.

"Cat lady!" Ever exclaims, pointing at the giant cat faced girl.

I'm gonna go ahead and guess-

"Hermione!" Harry and Ron gasp.

Ever stares at her sister for all of two seconds before breaking down and laughing her arse off. She slides to floor, arms wrapped around her waist as she laughs and laughs and _laughs_.

"It was an accident!" Hermione gripes.

"Well we didn't think you'd turned yourself into a cat-girl on purpose," I say. I mean, who would?

Meh, maybe Ever.

"This is the best thing that has ever happened to me," Ever says, one of her hands clutching at her chest. She's got tears in her eyes from laughing so hard.

"My sister is a cat!" Ever grins at me.

I nod slowly, humouring her lunacy,

"Yes, I _see_."

"What are you three doing in here?" Harry demands, sounding put out.

I cross my arms and say,

"What were you doing in our common room?"

Harry pause, exchanging a troubled look with Ron. Eventually he answers with a shrug,

"Stuff."

Right, well, that clears things up.

"Were you interrogating Knott?" Blaise asks dryly.

"Maybe." Ron hedges.

"Oh my moon shoes, you are so completely still a cat! Why is no one else focusing on this?" Ever says. She gets up off the floor and starts poking at Hermione.

Hermione slaps her hands away,

"Get off, Ever!"

"Wait, wait," I hold up my hands and give Harry an incredulous look, "Did you really go through all this trouble just to talk to Knott?"

"We had to know if he was the heir of Slytherin." Harry says defensively.

I shake my head in disbelief,

"And it never occurred to you to just ask me if I could ask Kott a few questions."

"You said you didn't want to be involved!" Harry argues vehemently.

I snort derisively,

"Yeah, I said I didn't want to be involved in an insanely ludicrous Gryffindor plan. You know, like the one going on right now. But asking me to talk with Knott is not an insane plan Harry, it's a logical one!"

"Then why didn't you do it?" Harry is getting pissed now. Oh joy.

"Because I live with Knott and I can tell you for free that he is an entitled little brat who couldn't find his way out of plastic bag." I shout, throwing my hands up, "If Knott is the heir of Slytherin then I'm the fucking Owl ambassador."

Is there an owl ambassador? I don't know, but if there is I imagine he has a moustache. And a monocle. An evil monocle. All mustaches are evil anyway, so that goes without saying.

Blaise is giving me a smug look. He pokes my shoulder and says triumphantly,

"I told you they were acting weird."

I send him a look of doom. Then I turn to Harry and Ron again,

"Actually there's a thought, did you two murder Goyle and Crabbe so you could take their place?"

"If so, I approve of your tactic." Blaise says drolly.

"No, we just gave them a magical cake that would knock them out for a while and then hid them in a brook cupboard." Harry says flippantly.

"Oh, good, so you just drugged and kidnapped two people. Alright, because that's not mentally unstable at all." I say.

"Says the one who poisoned Neville!" Harry accuses.

"We did not poison Neville." Blaise says amicably, "Ever did."

Oh for the love of pants-

"No one poisoned Neville." I say firmly.

"That's exactly what someone who poisoned Neville would say." Ron argues.

"As appose to the completely innocent people who **_admit_** to poisoning someone you mean?" I say.

Ron looks confused. Harry looks annoyed. Blaise looks pleased with himself. I'm sure I look bothered by the entire situation. Myrtle is still snickering next to a sink.

"Ever go away and leave me alone!" Hermione suddenly yells, and she storms out of the bathroom.

Ever goes running after her, still grinning like a fool, and calling after her sister,

"Wait for me Puss in boots!"

So. Weird.


	22. The toilet of secrets: Eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER. AT ALL. LIKE NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT. I PROMISE. BUT JK ROWLING DOES, SO, YAY FOR HER. ;)

**Ever's P.O.V**

"Ta da!" I announce dramatically, throwing my arms out wide. I can feel myself grinning so widely that it literally hurts.

I've just never been this happy before. It's a new feeling for me.

"I can't believe I missed this." Draco says, as he tries to hide his own amusement. Which is a massive fail because he's clearly dying to snicker himself to death. Who wouldn't? It's genuinely hilarious. Draco shakes his head at all of us. "I was only away for a week, and in that short amount of time you've managed to kidnap Crabbe and Goyle, confuse the fuck out of Nott, and turn Hermione Granger into a ruddy cat. I'd be impressed if it weren't all so ridiculous."

"Why did you bring Malfoy here?" Hermione demands angrily. She looks like an emo Hello Kitty. It's so amazing.

"He asked what we'd got up to during the Christmas holidays." I say with an innocent half shrug, "I was just showing my good friend Zaco the best present ever given to another person in the history of the world."

Hermione growls at me. Meanie kitty. She hasn't looked this pissed off since I brought her a giant ball of yarn the day after she'd been taken to the hospital wing.

"I tried to stop them from just charging in." Harry says to Hermione. He sends me a death glare. I grin manically back at him.

"I used my powers of persuasion to get him to change his mind." I say triumphantly.

"Yeah, Ever kicked his knee and then shoved him out of the way so that we could run past." Sinclair clarifies.

"Don't let Potter get too close to Granger," Draco says, smirking wickedly, "He's already been charged with attempted kitty murder already this year. I'd hate to see Granger become his next victim."

Harry looks murderously at Draco,

"Shut. Up. You. Git. I did not murder that damn cat!" Harry shouts, his eyes flashing with rage. Aw, so pretty.

Draco tuts at him and waves a hand,

"Yeah, Potter, that's why it's 'attempted murder'. You so completely failed to murder a small cat. I'm embarrassed for you."

Harry narrows his eyes dangerously, his next words slow and deliberate,

"I hope a hippo _eats_ you, Malfoy."

Draco just smirks again,

"Well that's not a very nice thing to say, Potter."

"Yeah, that was majorly harsh, my shadow self." Sinclair frowns at his brother, "And it's really unlikely to happen. I mean, when is Draco ever going to meet Dudley?"

Harry gives his brother the stare of doom and says seriously,

"I'm still convinced the only reason you befriended Malfoy was to irritate me."

"Oh right, because it's all about you." I say, wiggling my fingers out towards him. "Don't be such a big baby."

"You hit my knee with your foot." Harry says accusingly.

"You hit my foot with your knee." I reply in annoyance, "It hurt a little bit actually." I shake my head at him, "You're so _violent_."

Harry starts sputtering incredulously. Luckily Ron isn't here or he'd be going all red and Weasley-ish. And ain't nobody got time for dat.

We probably bicker for another hour between ourselves before leaving my pet dorkzilla to her catty brooding when she told us all very ungracefully to piss the hell off because we were bugging her. She probably just wants to spit out a fur ball in private or something. I don't mind if she wants to hack one out. I'm an understanding sister, and I'll accept my twin's life choices. Even if her life choice is to live forever as a giant cat who chases massive balls of yarn around all day.

When I said that out loud to Hermione in front of everyone, however, she viciously attacked my arm with her little pointed kitty teeth. She _hissed_ at me! So naturally I hissed back and flicked her on the nose, because all cats hate that.

Draco said I should get myself checked out, just in case I'd managed to catch giant cat disease from Hermione nibbling on me in her kitty-rage. Sin said that you can't catch giant cat disease. Draco asked why not. Sin said that you can't catch giant cat disease because there's no such thing as giant cat disease. Draco asked him how he could possibly know that. Sin said he knows there's no such thing as giant cat disease because he refuses to exist in a world where such a thing could, or would, ever also exist.

Draco took out his IPhone then and Googled 'giant cat disease'. After a few seconds he grinned at Sin and showed him an NHS article with a list of cat diseases. One of them was called 'GCD'.

Sin hit Draco in the face with a pillow, then took his Iphone and changed the password on it. He said to Draco that all evil things should be taken from those who would wield it without restraint, i.e. no more internet for Draco unless he stops being a prat or quits being a Google junkie. Preferably both, since one always seems to lead to the other in the end anyway.

Whilst Hermione is in the hospital wing sleeping off her fluffy nightmare, Hogwarts is relatively quiet. No one else gets petrified, or _fake_ petrified either. Professor Plantpot announces that her mini tree army is almost ready to be used to make the antidote for petrifaction. She seems a little bit too happy around those evil trees. I smell a tree uprising of sorts on the horizon.

People are always saying that it will be robots and technology that will rise up and destroy us all. It'd be a big surprise for everyone if the trees beat them to it. To be fair I am in full support of an evil tree revolution. At the very least it would end the swirling vortex of tedium that is the shitload of homework we've been given since our Christmas break ended.

It seems like the ADM is trying to make up for lost time in spades. He's also being even more growly than usual, which is saying a lot considering his natural default expression is the most epic scowl to have ever of been scowled.

Lickhat is still a moron, but it's not like any of us expected that to change. I mean I believe in miracles, but that would just be pushing it too far. Plus it might creep me out even more if Gilderboy Lickhat suddenly started acting like a competent human being instead of the floppy golden retriever that we all know and loathe.

…

Harry and I are walking together through the empty hallways after dinner. Our friends are all back in the dining hall arguing over that damn 'Harvey Popper' series again. Blaise kept insisting that there are an insane amount of plot holes, especially revolving around the magical theory behind the use of the Staffs.

Sin argued that Blaise just wasn't reading them properly because all of that stuff is explained in the books. Blaise admitted to having only watched the films, which caused Sin to throw his hands up in exasperation. They then began arguing about book to film inaccuracies.

Ron was fascinated by the idea of Tracecop, which is a sport that the Sorcerers play in the books where they basically play basketball but in the air on hover boards. He started watching the first film 'Harvey Popper and the Wizards' pebble' (originally named 'Harvey Popper and the Mages Pebble', but they had to change it for marketing reasons) on Sin's IPad with Amazon Prime.

When Harry and I left, Ron was deeply engrossed in the film, his grip on the IPad irontight. Sin and Blaise were still arguing heatedly over the absurdity of Sorcerer economics. Draco was busy re-reading the last book in the series 'Harvey Popper and the Ghastly Consecrates'.

When he finished it the first time yesterday he slammed the book down and announced that all muggle literature is complete uncultured rubbish. Secretly I think he's just mad because his favourite character 'Dradell Malloy' was killed off in the final battle. I can only hope he never finds 'Goodreads' online or those books will be getting the shit rant-reviewed out of them by a spurned Pureblood wizard.

"They still think I'm evil. The Huffpuffs keep running away from me." Harry growls angrily, his face twisted into something harsh, green eyes flashing dangerously yet again. I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy it just a little bit when Harry flies off the handle and goes all ragey.

"Why do you care what a load of Huffwuffles think of you? They're just bees disguised as giggly humans." I say, bumping my arm against Harry's affectionately.

Not because I like him, or because we're friends of course. I'm only being nice to him because he's getting his sad all over me, and it's annoying. I'm too young and too epic to be dealing with teenage boy angst.

Harry looks at me and lets out a heavy sigh.

"I'm just so tired of people who don't know me thinking they can just decide who and what I am. It was bad enough with all that 'boy-who-lived' crap. But at least that was mostly positive crap. Now people are whispering and glaring around me all the time and I don't know what to do about it."

I run a hand through my hair, pushing it away from my face. Despite Hermione and I being mostly identical, I've always had darker hair than her. Mine is more brown-black than mousy brown. Sin tells me it's probably just my hair's reaction to the darkening of my soul compared to the light of Hermione's. He's so nice.

I look at Harry and say,

"They'll all get over it eventually Harry. Something more dangerous and stupid is bound to happen in this school sooner or later, especially with Dumblebumble 'in charge' of things."

Harry mouth twists into a small grin. It's so different to Sinclair's grin when he's amused and trying not to show it. Most of Sin's expressions have an edge of sardonic or mocking, whereas Harry's have an edge of brashness, his emotions all encompassing. When Harry feels something, be that anger or happiness, you can see it clearly all over his face.

"Professor Dumbledore isn't that bad." Harry says in defense of our loony tune headmaster.

I give him a dry look,

"Yeah, sure. I mean, he only agreed to store a dangerously powerful rock in his school and then also allowed it to be guarded by a massive three headed tortoise. Which was easy as shit to find by the way because he literally _told us where it was_ at the welcoming feast. And now he's only gone and allowed some kind of snake monster to go running around the school scaring people half to death. All the people in the hospital wing right now are victims of Dumblebumbles incompetency."

"Apart from Neville." Harry says.

"Yes, apart from Neville." I say.

"Who _you_ poisoned." Harry says.

"I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about Sir." I say.

"You're going to make a great crime lord one day Miss." Harry says.

I smirk at him. Harry just rolls his eyes.

After a few seconds of comfortable silence between us, I muse,

"I've never heard of 'positive crap' before."

Harry gives me a weak smile,

"What? That not one of your special unicorn phrases is it?"

I narrow my eyes at him,

"You will _not_ besmirch the good name of the Unicorn you little heathen."

Harry actually _laughs_ , and, objectively, it isn't all together a terrible sound. I briefly consider kicking him just to make it stop. But before I can put that plan in action I hear a terrifying cry coming from inside Miss moan-a-lots bathroom.

I don't know what Myrtle has to be so upset about all the time. Her bathroom is nicer than my flat back home. But then again, she is dead, so I suppose that could be potentially upsetting. It's been ages though. All the other ghosts in the castle seem fine with being dead. Maybe it takes a hundred years or so to get used to it.

I'll probably get to find out soon enough since the bloody snake monster is supposed to be going after Muggle-birthed whatsits. I happen to be one of those.

Harry looks at me and says,

"What do you think is wrong?"

I shrug one shoulder,

"I dunno, maybe someone attacked her with a loo brush. Or a Ravenclaw could have tried to exorcise her again."

This Terry Boot jackhole tried to do an exorcism on Myrtle that consisted of him waving a big wooden cross around and shouting _'the power of Christ compels you'_. Idiot. That only works when someone is possessed. Everyone knows that.

Luckily the ADM was walking by at the time and Boot got slammed with a detention bomb. The ADM also took away so many house points that it'll be virtually impossible for Ravenclaw to win the house cup.

Or at least that's what Ron said, I had no idea what he was talking about. I didn't even know we had a house cup. Apparently, according to Draco, we even won it last year. You learn something new every day folks.

Harry frowns and strides off towards the bathroom. I follow after him despite having a bad feeling about it. The floor outside the bathroom is soaking wet.

"What's wrong Myrtle?" Harry calls out once we get inside.

Miss moan-a-lot reveals herself and begins crying even louder. I didn't know that was physically possible. My ear drums might burst at any second.

"Come to throw something else at me, have you?" The moanatron grumbles sullenly.

"That really depends, what's the point system for that game?" I ask drolly.

Harry throws me a scathing look. I widen my eyes innocently back at him.

"You're that strange girl. Ever Granger. I remember you. You say weird things all the time." The moanatron cries with a definite huff of annoyance.

"Ten points to you Moany." I reply wryly.

The moanatron looks me up and down and sniffs,

"I don't like you."

"Good." I say, "Because I will be your doom."

"Ever-" Harry starts warningly, but I'm too busy being epic to listen to him.

"I am EVERYONE'S DOOM!" I throw my arms out and start cackling evilly. "THE WORLD WILL TREMBLE WITH FEAR AND I WILL BE THE SUPREME OVERLOARD OF EVERTH-"

My amazing and impromptu speech is cut short when cold water hits me in the face. I blink rapidly and glare at the abomination that is Harry James Potter. I will destroy him.

The moanatron is laughing her ghostly arse off. I, however, am not amused.

Harry's eyes widen comically when I get out my wand and flick it up from the water towards Harry's face, along with the spell " _Altraq_ ". Water from the floor hits Harry in the face so hard that he falls over.

Now _that_ I find amusing. So I laugh. Loudly.

But not for long because Harry gets back up onto his feet with alarming speed and uses the same spell to throw water back at me. I duck out of the way and run towards the sinks, throwing water back at Harry using my wand.

Harry chases after me and throws another water spell that I don't recognise. I turn to face him and a wave of water hits me. I raise my wand and put up a shield charm. The next hit from Harry bounces off of the shield.

Both Harry and I are laughing ridiculously as we chuck spells at each other and run around the bathroom haphazardly.

We only stop when I trip over a black bound book with the initials 'T.M.R' engraved into it.

**Sinclair's P.O.V**

"It's Valentine's day!" I hear a Hufflepuff girl say delightedly.

Oh bloody hell, no.

"So, how many Valentines have you got then Sinclair?" Ever pokes me in the side, a wide smirk on her face.

"None. I have none. I want none. I will only ever have or want none." I say firmly.

"Spoilsport." Ever says.

"What's this I hear about you not getting any Valentines Sinclair?" Blaise says as he sits down at the table in the library.

Me, Ever, Draco and Blaise are in the library working on a project for DADA. I don't know why Likchat wants us to create a presentation about famous wizards that have inspired Gilderboy Lickhats work. Actually, strike that, I do know. Because he's a self-important ponce who I would happily let drown in a river in favour of saving a ladybug.

I glare menacingly at Blaise and snarl,

"Don't you _dare_ -"

Blaise just smirks at me and says to Ever,

"He got _loads_. Our room is full of cards and flowers and chocolates from Sinclair's many, _many_ , admirers."

Ever bursts out laughing. I curse Blaise. I curse him with the burning power of a thousand suns.

Draco looks up from a book he'd been reading and peers at me curiously. He shifts in his seat so he's closer to me and leans over a bit so our shoulders press together. I look into his silver eyes as they narrow.

"We could always burn them." Draco says caustically.

Ugh oh. Draco must still be pissed about all that Valentine crap messing up our room. He got really red faced and angry when he saw them all cluttering up the place. I apologised of course, but Draco still seemed pissed off about it. Blaise appeared to find Draco's rage even more amusing that all the Valentines, God damn him.

Ever raises a hand and waves it excitedly,

"Oh, oh, we could create a Valentine bonfire and use Gilderboy Lickhat as the dummy of Guy Fawkes."

Blaise and Ever both start chattering away about the merits and potentially law-breaking disadvantages of creating a Valentine bonfire and using it to kill off Lickhat.

My attention, however, is still fully on Draco. My friend is watching me intently, his expression thoughtful, or maybe that should be calculating. I think I'd find it uncomfortable if I weren't so used to Draco being all up in my personal space.

I really did miss him over Christmas. Since he got back we haven't really spent any time apart. I can't say I mind that.

I'm about to ask Draco why he's staring at me like he wants to...I don't even know. Something neither of us are old enough to comprehend probably. But before I can say anything my brother comes thundering in at full elephant volume. He's followed closely by Ronatron and Hermon.

Draco and I break eye contact, and I feel a bit miffed at the loss. Stupid Harry and his stupid face.

Harry slams a black book down onto the table. It looks like that one Ever was talking about before. The one that used to belong to a bloke named Tom Marvolo Riddle. Apparently he was a bit of a tosser who went around winning awards and blah blah blah. Harry's been obsessed with that damn book ever since he found it, and even worse I keep finding myself thinking about it a lot too. I blame Harry. And whoever invented diaries. But mostly I blame Harry.

Ever, Blaise, Draco and I are all looking at my twin.

"It was Hagrid!" Harry manages to puff out through ragged breathes.

"That's nice." Blaise says, giving my brother a tolerant look.

My Slytherin friends and I all exchange glances. An agreement is made silently between us and we all turn back to our books, dismissing the insane Gryffindors who barged in on our study session.

"It was Hagrid!" Harry shouts, his voice louder this time, as if he thinks we didn't hear him before.

Madam Pants comes creeping around the corner then and fixes all of us with a meanie bo beanie glare.

"Be quiet!" Madam Pants orders not-at-all-quietly.

"Yeah, Harry," I say without looking at him, "shut up. Some of us are actually trying to complete the most irrelevant homework ever over here."

"But," Harry huffs, "this is important-"

Madam Pants growls even louder,

"I said be quiet!"

Ever looks at my brother and presses a finger to her mouth,

"Shhhhhhhhh, dummy." She points at the empty seats around our table.

Harry makes a snarly sound, but he actually does as he's told and sits down. His Gryffindor lackeys follow suit.

Madam Pants seems somewhat mollified and scampers off back to her bookish lair.

"So what's got your panties all tied up in a knot?" Ever whispers, leaning forward onto the table.

Draco makes a displeased face and says,

"Not that we care about your Gryffindor problems."

"Or your pants." Blaise adds.

Draco gives Blaise a withering stare, but Blaise only smirks in response. I swear one day Draco is going to challenge Blaise to a duel to the death, and then I'll be conflicted over who to support. Then again, Ever will probably just swoop in at the last minute and kill them both, so either way the problem will resolve itself.

It's the Griffs turn to all exchange looks. Eventually Harry pokes the Riddle book with two fingers and tells us all about how he got kidnapped by a diary and the memory of Tom Riddle showed him who opened the Chamber of secrets last time. The memory also apparently showed Hagrid as the culprit and a giant spider as the monster. Riddle dobbed in Hagrid after a girl was murdered by the monster and that's where he got his award. For being a major grass. Figures.

"I can't believe Hagrid would unleash a monster on the school." Hermione says after Harry's finished telling us his, frankly ludicrous, story.

"I can, he's a bloody lunatic. I think I'd find it harder to believe that he wouldn't unleash a monster into anywhere he pleased." Draco says.

"You got yourself kidnapped by a book?" I say to my brother, "Booknapped? Well of course you did. I can't leave you alone for even a few days without something going terrible wrong."

Harry scowls at me.

"At least I actually found out who opened the chamber of secrets. Unlike you, oh virtuous one."

I roll my eyes,

"I'd be a whole lot more offended by that if I gave half a shit who opened the chamber of secrets over a bazillion years ago. I'm more interested in whose opening it _now_."

"You don't think it's Hagrid?" Harry asks, frowning.

"Of course not." I say, waving a hand, "Hagrid is a bumbling half giant, not a criminal mastermind. Even Hagrid couldn't unleash a monster by accident twice and get away with it. As useless as Dumblebumble is, I think even he would notice something like that."

"Should we go interrogate Hagrid?" Ever says, her eyes shining with excitement.

" _No!"_ Harry and I say at the same time.

"You're no fun." Ever pouts crossly.

"I don't trust this Riddle bloke." Ron says, "He sounds like a right tosser."

"I'm with Reno on this one." I say, nodding at Ron, who suddenly looks confused.

"Well we can't just sit around and do nothing." Harry says defiantly.

"Unless you want to unleash Ever on Hagrid, then we're going to have to wait and see what happens." I say with a shrug.

"Wait to see if more people get petrified you mean." Harry says dispassionately.

"Fine." Ever says, "But if anyone else gets petrified then I get to lead the interrogation with Hagrid."

"That doesn't mean you can just go and fake petrify another person like you did Neville." Harry warns, his eyes fixed on Ever with an odd intensity.

Ever locks eyes with Harry and they continue to have a stare off. There's an undercurrent of tension that travels between them and it makes me want to look away, as if I'm intruding on a more private moment.

Weirdoes.

After a while Ever smirks slowly and says,

"Oh alright, if we're going about this the boring way. No more fake petrification's."

Harry looks strangely pleased by Ever's agreement and he smiles at her.

Hm. Mistake, dear brother, mistake.

I lean over the table and share a smirk with Draco. I say casually,

"So, Harry, one more question."

Harry tears his gaze away from Ever,

"Yeah?"

I wave a hand between him and Ever,

"Where exactly is Ever's Valentine from you?"

Blaise, Draco and I all start snickering as Harry blushes deeply.

"Sod off Sinclair," he snaps.

That just makes us laugh harder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone for reading, please review! xxx


	23. The toilet of secrets: Twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER. AT ALL. LIKE NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT. I PROMISE. BUT JK ROWLING DOES, SO, YAY FOR HER. ;)

**Ever's P.O.V**

I don't know how I keep getting myself into these situations. Or, actually, no, more like I don't understand how I keep letting Harry and his rag tag group of hero-wannabe's drag me into these dangerous wackadoodle situations.

It's official. We've been kidnapped by spiders. And not teensy, tiny spiders either, like what you get in the bath at home. No, these spiders are fucking gigantic. And wicked cool. But still.

Alright, I'm gonna have to back this up a bit so you'll understand why we've been webnapped by a herd, YES I SAID HERD!, of toxic waste spiders. Like with the three eyed fish from the Simpsons. But instead of it being a fish, they're spiders. And massive. With eight eyes. Which is actually weirdly natural. They're fluffy too. If they weren't so terrifying I'd call them cute.

I think Ron is about two seconds away from pooping in his pants. Maybe we should have given him an adult nappy before going into the forest. He looks scared half to death already, and we haven't even been nibbled on yet. Those spider pincers look evil as shit though. I wonder if this is what flies feel like. If flies felt things at all I mean. Actually no, I'm pretty sure even flies shit themselves when a giant spider sucks them dry vampire stylie.

I wonder if spiders and vampires are related somehow. Kinda like fangy cousins. Sort of. Ish.

So, more people were petrified by the big snake monster thingy from the chamber of secrets. Hermione was one of those people, which is basically why I'm here. It's all hands on deck though. We've brought the entire crew into the Forbidden Forest to find out what's what. And yeah, I'm calling us a _crew_ now. I briefly considered 'gang' or 'mini army', but in the end 'crew' won the group vote. Democracy in action folks. We raised hands and everything. Just like in real politics.

As per our original agreement, I stomped off down to Hagrid's hut so I could torture him for information. Sinclair, Harry and Draco tried to stop me, but I easily evaded them because they suck at tying rope, chasing after their escapee's, and jumping over walls. Sinclair gave up at the last hurdle and led down on the ground instead. Harry called him a lazy arse. Sinclair flipped him the bird and yelled ' _if I wanted to spend my life running around and shit then I would have stayed in Surrey and let the lost whale child and his chavvy boyfriends attempt to chase me all the time in a pathetic show of forced masculinity'_.

Ron and Blaise didn't get involved in the chasing and full body attack diving and such forth. Instead they took the long way to Hagrid's hut and met me down there. When I found them they were talking pretty amicably together about the pros and cons between apple Iphones and Android phones. It was really weird. If those two end up becoming friends then the whole of civilised society might break down.

We tried to talk to Hagrid and I threatened him with my angriest glitter, the red and orange kind. But before we could get anywhere, Dumblebumble showed up with the Minister of magic, Minister Toffee, and, low and behold Draco's twatwaffle of a father, Mr Marshmallow.

Luckily I'd nicked the invisibility cloak the day before. Me, Ron and Blaise hid under it so we could eavesdrop on the three stooges # wizards edition.

Minister Toffee babbled and stammered like the nincompoop he clearly is. He flobbed around for ages trying to arrest Hagrid for…..stuff, or, like, whatever. Because for real, what real evidence do they actually have? Yeah, none. Nothing but a similar situation and some gossip. I hope not all wizarding police work gets figured out that way. They can't solve a crime so they arrest the ex-con who talks a bit dodgy and has a big beard. So not cool.

Dumblebumble was worse than useless, as always. He just floated around talking like a fortune cookie who had just smoked some marijuana. In fact, yes, I'm calling it now. In a former life Professor Dumblebumble was a lunatic who smoked a lot of weed and worked in a fortune cookie factory. I bet he had a hippy-hipster name, like Starburst Santora, or Dusty Makado. Everyone else may have fallen for his super old and powerful act, but I'm onto him, I swear it.

Mr Marshmallow, a.k.a Lucas the Unicorn haired clown, sneered so hard I was afraid he'd rip his own face off by accident. He got pissy with Minister Toffee, which is understandable because the man is clearly a buffoon in every way possible there is to be a buffoon. He looked like he wanted to spit on Dumblebumble, which again is understandable because Dumblebumble is rage inducingly irritating.

Whilst Mr Marshmallow was busy sneering, Dumblebumble was swishing back and forth, and Minister Toffee was competing for the world's longest stammer, Hagrid actually said something half way useful. He suggested we follow the spiders. A bit on the cryptic side, but we could work with it.

Not to go on and on about the boring stuff, but basically, the crew, decided to heed Hagrid's advice and followed the spiders into the Forbidden Forest. Like chumps.

Sinclair was whole heartedly against the entire thing, as he stated loudly and unabashedly at every given opportunity, but he came along anyway for my sake. Because he's a BOSS mate. Draco decided to come along as well to apparently ' _protect Sin from Gryffindor influences and rampant displays of idiocy_ '. He might have a point with that to be fair considering the current situation.

Blaise said he'd come too as long as he could use a Gryffindor as a human shield at a moment of his choosing. Ron agreed to come, but mostly because he didn't want to leave Harry alone with a load of devious Slytherins. Harry practically frog marched himself and us into the Forbidden Forest. Because he's the very epitome of a reckless hero.

I brought Millicent along with me too, because girl power!

I wish we could have taken Neville, but he was too busy still being fake petrified. It's just as well really. Neville probably would have died from fright, and that wouldn't have been a very good start on the super-secret mission front.

"Aragog!" One of the giant spiders calls out. "Aragog!"

Bloody hell, alright then.

Quite suddenly a giant massive humongous spider shuffles out from within a big creepy looking web. He's black, with a mix of grey hairs, the old spidery coot. His eyes are milky white. Blind. Oh great, we are now harassing a disabled spider. I wonder if he had a Labrador helper at some point. I bet he hate him.

"Now the hell do you want now?" The Spider Father shouts back, sounding all groggy, like maybe he was sleeping before.

"His spider minions woke their boss up from his nap, they are so fucked." I whisper to my friends.

I can't be quite sure, but I think one of the spider minions gives me evils. I give it evils right back. Stupid spider thinking it can intimidate me. I'll kick his fat web making arse.

"Humans." One of the other spider minions replies.

"It had better be Hagrid." The Spider Father says grumpily.

"Why?" Sin asks, "Does he owe you money?"

Hagrid does seem like the type who would owe people money. Probably from gambling down the pub.

Harry noticeably pinches his brother's arm. Sin slaps at Harry's hand and pinches him back. Harry yelps out in pain. Sinclair snickers under his breathe. Harry glares at his brother menacingly.

"Would you two knock it off!" Draco hisses at them, "We have more important shit to worry about right now than your bitch fight." _Well said._ Draco Malfoy everyone!

"They're strangers." Spider minion number one says. Or clicks. With the pincers it sounds weird.

"Kill those mofos!" The Spider Father declares dramatically. "How dare they awake me from my slumber!"

"Well, technically," Millicent says, "It was your spider children who did that. We were just walking around minding our own business and not being very loud about it either."

I point at her and say,

"Ah ha yes! We were just innocently following-"

" _Stalking."_ Sinclair coughs.

"-yes _patiently_ allowing your spider minions to lead us in the right direction." I finish, aiming a narrow eyed look at Sin. Is he trying to throw the entire operation?

"We're friends of Hagrid's!" Harry calls, completely ruining my stealthy lie, the bastard.

All the spider minions start gossiping loudly about us in their spidery clicking language.

"Hagrid never sends people into the forest." The Spider Father says sceptically after a tension filled pause.

"Woah," I say, "That was a really passive aggressive way of saying Hagrid has no friends."

Millicent, Blaise and Draco snicker quietly at that. Sin is fiddling around with his Iphone for some reason. Ron still looks like he'll faint at any moment. Harry gives me one of his pissy 'looks'. He'll probably start yelling at me in a minute. That boy has anger issues up the whazoo.

"Hagrid is in trouble." Harry grits out, still half glaring at me at the same time.

I lift my hand and wave at him. Slowly.

"Trouble? Oh he hasn't been arrested for public indecency again has he?" The Spider Father says, sounding, of all things, genuinely concerned. "I keep telling him that Ice vodka and Fire whisky should not be mixed together with ale."

That sounds like a nasty as frak drink. Or something my mum would like.

"No," Blaise answers, his tone more droll than I've ever heard it before, "he was arrested for setting a dangerous monster loose inside Hogwarts. Far less embarrassingly stupid. Probably."

"Was it you who's been petrifying people by any chance?" Draco asks, sounding bored out of his mind. "I doubt it since we all know the monster in the chamber of secrets is a snake of some kind."

"We do not _know_ that." Harry snaps at him. "Not for certain."

"Ok, green spark," Sin says, patting his brother mockingly on the shoulder, "don't get yourself all worked up in front of his royal Spideriness."

Green spark? Yep, that's definitely my new nickname for Harry. Like for _life_. If we survive the spider army of course.

The Spider Father decides to pipe up then.

"The thing that lives in the castle, is an ancient creature we spiders fear above all others. Well do I remember how I pleaded with Hagrid to let me go, when I sensed the beast moving about the school. That creature killed that girl in the bathroom all those years ago."

"I bet you three sickles that it's a giant snake." Sin says to Harry.

Harry shoots him a dark look.

"What creature is it?" Millicent asks, looking God damn curious by this point.

"I bet you all five knuts that it's a Basilisk!" I say, rubbing my hands together. It's cold up in this bitch.

All of my friends turn to me, with varying looks of surprise on their faces. Draco full on gapes at me and shouts,

"Holy shit! Why didn't I think of that?"

"Because you are not as epic as me." I say smugly. Because yeah, for reals, no one is

"What's a Basilisk?" Harry asks, frowning.

"STOP SPEAKING ITS NAME!" The Spider Father yells at us. "WE DO NOT PLAY THAT SHIT!"

"Hold on, I'll google it." Sin says, lifting one hand up in a 'wait for it' gesture as he thumbs at his phone.

"Can you even get internet access out here?" Blaise asks, peering down at the screen of Sin's phone.

"I have a pretty good contract." Sin replies, still clicking away at his phone.

That leads to Millicent, Blaise and Draco getting their phones out to check for a signal. Bloody Pureblood's, they're like hipster University students.

"Right, ok, I've got it now," Sin says triumphantly, "A Basilisk is-"

"THAT'S FUCKING IT!" The Spider Father shocks us all by screeching, "KILL THEM! KILL THEM AND EAT THEM ALL! SCREW THIS NOISE, I AM SO DONE!"

Well shit. Drama Queen much?

"You know, this reminds me of the time Harvey Popper went into the Prohibited Swamp because his half leprechaun friend told him to follow the wasps." Blaise says thoughtfully.

"Who's Harvey Popper?" Millicent asks.

"He's a character from a series of muggle books about Sorcerers and magic and the evil Megawhump who keeps trying to kill Harvey." Draco explains to her. He makes a face. "Personally I'm in full support of the Megawhump. Harvey Popper's an annoying prat. And so is his stupid friend Robbie Wellsway."

"You're just saying that because you shipped Harvey with Hermia Grafter and Harvey ended up with Robbie's little sister Gabby instead." I say, waving a hand at him dismissively.

"You shipped Hermia with Harvey?" Ron says, having finally been broken out of his fear stupor. He turns on Draco. "Hermia and Robbie were clearly in love since, like, book three when Hermia kicked that Dradell Malloy prat in the face. Remember, Malloy was insulting Kicksnout, Herbards pet half lion half pig."

"You're insane!" Draco argues vehemently. "Robbie was NOT good enough for Hermia. She was really clever and pretty and Robbie was just an idiot who followed Harvey around all the time."

"I'm with Ron on this one," Harry says, as if against his will, "Robbie and Hermia were clearly set up to be together from the very beginning. Plus, Hermia and Harvey never would have worked out anyway. Harvey was too annoyingly oblivious and Hermia was too bossy and opinionated."

"Oh, excuse a woman for having a bloody _opinion_ , Potter. If it weren't for Hermia then Harvey and Robbie wouldn't have survived past their first ogre attack at Easter in book one." Draco snarls at Harry.

I say reasonably,

"Hermia should have stuck with that gorgeous Tracecop player bloke, Vincent Kosar, from the fourth book, _Harvey Popper and the teacup of wind_."

"Personally," Blaise offers, "I thought there was some pretty interesting tension between Harvey Popper and Dradell Malloy."

"No. Fucking. Way." Harry and Draco both say, practically in unison.

"I'm just calling it like I see it." Blaise says, shrugging one shoulder, "Subtext and all that. I'm a Dravey fan for life. And the internet so agrees with me."

"To be fair," Sinclair reasons, "There is some pretty heavy Dravey fanfic out there. Like, it's definitely a thing."

"But they were rivals!" Draco shakes his head, looking vaguely disgusted.

"And Harvey HATED Dradell Malloy." Harry argues profusely. "He was a complete prat to Harvey, like, all the time."

"Yeah, well, Popper deserved it for being such a self-righteous arsehole." Draco mutters uncharitably. "What the hell is fanfic anyway?"

"Fanfiction." Sinclair explains, "It's where you can post stories within already existing fictional universes."

"Who would waste their time doing that?" Ron says with a snort.

"That's easy for you to say." Draco rolls his eyes at Ron, "Your preferred ship actually _happened_."

"There's also another popular ship online from the Harvey Popper series. Dramia. As in Dradell and Hermia." Blaise imparts, as if offering the holy grail.

"Really?" Draco asks, his eyes lighting up with interest.

"Gross." Ron screws up his nose at the thought.

"How about Nemo Langdon?" I say, "He killed the Megawhumps giant lizard during the final dance off showdown with that special dagger. I thought he was badass."

"I so need to read this shit." Millicent says, sounding awed.

"I'll let you borrow mine." I offer kindly.

"Or you can buy 'em real cheap on Amazon for your Kindle." Sinclair says, flashing his phone at Millicent. He has the Harvey Popper books brought up on his Kindle app. Millicent moves closer to take a proper look.

"You should watch the films too. They're epic." Ron says.

"Meh, I prefer the books." Blaise admits, "The films miss stuff out too much."

"Um _HELLO_!" The Spider Father shouts, interrupting us. He sounds aggravated. Or maybe even vexed. Woah.

I raise a hand and wave at him awkwardly,

"Um, hi yourself."

"I just ordered that my spider children kill you." The Spider Father says, "This is the part where you should be running away screaming."

Oh.

My mates and I all look around at each other. Whoops.

Sinclair puts his phone away and says,

"Right you are, Mr Spider, sir. Lets try this again…RUN!"

We take our cue from Sinclair and start running for our lives.

**Sinclair's P.O.V**

_Of the many fearsome beasts and monsters that roam our land, there is none more curious or more deadly than the Basilisk, known also as the King of Serpents. This snake, which may reach gigantic size and live many hundreds of years, is born from a chicken's egg, hatched beneath a toad. Its methods of killing are most wondrous, for aside from its deadly and venomous fangs, the Basilisk has a murderous stare, and all who are fixed with the beam of its eye shall suffer instant death. Spiders flee before the Basilisk, for it is their mortal enemy, and the Basilisk flees only from the crowing of the rooster, which is fatal to it._

We all take turns reading the passage from the book Ever found. Satan only knows why she didn't tell us about it before. I have a sneaking suspicion she just wanted to follow the spiders and didn't want to ruin it by saying she already knows all the answers.

As it turns out, Ever had one piece of the puzzle, and I have the other.

"It's Myrtle." I say to our group, "She's the girl who was killed. Must be. The Spidertron 5000 practically told us so."

"And no one died this time because they didn't look the Basilisk in the eye." Millicent says knowingly.

"We have to tell the teachers what we know." Draco says, narrowing his eyes at Harry and Ron. "I mean it. We can't just go running off like all the other times. This is bad. Really bad. Like, think of something really fucking bad...now times it by a hundred. That is how bad this shit is."

"Don't get your Calvin Klein boxer breifs in a twist, Dray." I say, pulling him into a comforting half hug. Draco makes a token struggle, but then he gives in and accepts my forced wuv.

Ever claps, drawing all of attention to her. She has her boss lady face on.

"Well, alright, how about we split up, some of us go talk to the moanatron, and the others go get the teachers. Or at least the weirdoes pretending to be teachers for a laugh."

"Good plan." Harry says, which surprises us all.

No one protests, so plan split and slide is officially a go.

I'm in no hurry to rush into another death defying situation. We barely managed to escape the last one. Those spiders would have decimated us if it hadn't of been for Ron's run away car showing up at the last minute to save us. Somehow we shoved eight twelve year olds into a card that's barely meant to hold five. God knows why the Weasley's have such a small car in the first place. You'd think with how may there are of them that Mr Weasley would have swung for a mini van or something.

Even so, I'm forced to go with Harry and Ever to the girls bathroom. Millicent, Blaise and Draco drag Ron off to go talk to the teachers. He's extremely reluctant, but Millicent convinces him by saying that they need a Gryff in tow to prove that they aren't lying. Harry told him to go represent Gryffindor so it won't look like just Slytherins saved the school. Ron shuddered at even the thought of such a thing and left with the three anti-muskateers.

We find prattling Maureen floating around by one of the sinks when we get to the infamous girls bathroom. I feel like we've all spent way too much time in here this year. Seriously, next year I'm boycotting all girls bathrooms with creepily hyper sexualised ghost girls in them.

"Oh it's you." Maureen says sweetly to Harry, but her expression turns quickly to annoyance and disappointment when she sees Ever. "And _you_. Why haven't you died yet?"

Ever grins at Maureen and says with as much fake enthusiasm as possible,

"I'm waiting for the opportune moment. Then I'll rule this school with a ghostly fist. This bathroom will be _my_ domain, bitch, and I'll be like 'welcome to the new world order'."

"Ever!" I shout in exasperation. "So not helping."

Harry is too busy trying to pretend he isn't laughing. He has his lips pressed together really tightly and his shoulders are shaking. If Maureen catches us laughing at her then we'll never find out anything. She'll probably drown us in toilet water.

"We wanted to ask about how you died." I say, cutting through whatever terrifying retort Maureen looks about to dish out.

Maureen turns her sweet look on me and simpers,

"Oh, well, I came into this bathroom to hide from some arseholes who were being nasty to me." Maureen gives Ever the stink eye pointedly. But she continues without further prompting, "All I remember is a boy speaking a language I didn't understand, and some big yellow eyes over there by that sink." Maureen points at the offending sink, her expression ominous.

Well, at least it supports our Basilisk theory, so there's that.

"That must have royally sucked arse, Morgan." Ever says, her eyes softening somewhat in Maureen's direction. Although the whole genuine caring thing is ruined by Ever using an incorrect name. But still, it's the thought that counts. Ish.

" _I don't like you_." Maureen hisses at Ever, looking like she might attack her with a loo brush at any moment.

Harry, clearly in response to the potential threat, moves closer to Ever, putting himself slightly in front of her as if to get in between Ever and Maureen. Just in case. Ever notices this too, because she isn't BLIND, and smirks at the back of Harry's head. She reaches out to touch his hand, and Harry turns around to look at her. They have one their silent communication moments again and their fingers twine together, as if by accident. It's so beyond weird.

I want to comment on it, but that would just be too easy. It's no fun when Harry literally hands me evidence of his obvious crush (or weird love-hate thing they have going on) for Ever. I like having to work for ways to mock him. It doesn't feel like I've earned the right otherwise.

Ever finally breaks eye contact with Harry and looks up at Maureen.

"I think we should be besties." Ever says, completely deadpan, which only appears to enrage Maureen all the more.

I'm about to suggest we go find the others before the epic battle between Ever and Maureen can take place. There would be nothing left of the school if they actually attacked each other.

But before I can say a word, the anti-muskateers and Ron coming barging in looking like a group of escaped mental patients. What's worse though is that they have Gilderboy Lickhat with them. Because Lickhat is exactly what this situation needs, obviously.

"When we said to go find a teacher," I say dryly, "we meant a _real_ one."

"We have a situation!" Ron's words appear to explode from his mouth, his cheeks are even more devastatingly red than usual. I didn't actually think that was possible.

Draco's face is ashen, but his eyes are flashing with rage, the silver resembling that of a burning star. I go to him, worried, and grab his arm.

"Dray, what's going on?"

Draco relaxes somewhat in response to my touch, but he's still shaking from how upset he clearly is.

"It has him." Draco croaks out.

"What has who?" I ask in confusion.

"The Basilisk. My brother." Draco spits out, his eyes burning into mine with the promise of vengeance, "The Basilisk has Scorpius."

Oh, that Basilisk is well and truly fucked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for reading! Please comment! xxx

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope you all enjoyed my first chapter!
> 
> Please let me know what you thought in reviews, it would mean the world to me! xxx
> 
> Thank you for reading everyone!


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